☽☽☽☽☽

The rest of the night passed like a blur to him. Yongguk had finally left the bar at dawn and was now dragging his feet up the stairs. Yongguk finally made it to his apartment door when he saw a pitiful creature on the ground next to it.



"Yah..." the thing murmured. Yongguk found himself staring at the sad figure and it turned out to be Himchan. Himchan was sitting on the ground, pulling his legs close to body.

 If Yongguk didn't know better, Himchan could've passed as a drunken madman. Getting up with much difficulty, Himchan staggered, tripping over his feet and Yongguk caught him. 



"You're not drunk are you?" Yongguk asked incredulously. Himchan shook his head.

"Just tired..." he replied and to prove his words true, he let out a dazzling yawn.

Yongguk pushed Himchan back onto his feet and cleared his face from the messy strands of hair. Realizing what he was doing, Yongguk quickly withdrew his hand. Himchan sighed.



"Now that you're free, I would like to say thank you Yongguk for defending me that day whether it happened or not. That's it," he concluded.



What an idiot, waiting here an entire night just to say that.


But it moved him more than words could describe. 



Himchan tugged on his arm and leaned his head on his shoulder. Himchan let out another outstanding yawn and closed his eyes.



"Let me sleep for a second." 



"Don't be stupid, you can't sleep standing up." Yongguk protested. 



Himchan ignored him and slept on. Rolling his eyes, Yongguk opened the door and led him in. Wondering how Himchan's legs were still functional, they finally made it to his bed and Yongguk lowered Himchan down.

The boy snored peacefully away as Yongguk chuckled. It was his first in a long while. Yongguk sat down at the end of the bed and watched Himchan without interruptions. He was beautiful and pure. Somehow this boy had made him worry again, something he had sworn not to do. Yongguk yelped and fell off the bed when Himchan suddenly jerked up into sitting position with his eyes still closed. His fist was high up in the air as if he was making an important announcement.



"I won't leave you!" he declared loudly before he fell back on the bed to continue his sleep. The soft snoring told Yongguk that he was still indeed asleep. Yongguk picked himself up back from the floor, frightened by the random outburst.

Could it possibly be that Himchan was talking to him? Hesitantly, Yongguk raised his hand and caressed Himchan's face. Yongguk looked at his with sad eyes.



"Please tell me you don't mean anything to me," he whispered.

 But when had 'please' ever worked for him?


☽

What to expect? Nothing, except more scorching pain as Yongguk realized that it already consumed over his shoulder almost reaching his collar bone.

The ends sprawled and resembled black veins as it drew closer to his beating heart. Pulling his long-sleeved shirt over his body, Yongguk exited his cold apartment, heading to another day of boring school but oddly, something made him look forward to it.

When school ended, Himchan would find himself hanging around Yongguk and Yongguk just couldn't bring himself to tell him to go away. It gave him an unexplainable comfort. 



Himchan on the other hand found out that Yongguk was not nearly as cold as others believed to be. Yongguk was kind but had a hard time showing it. It was as if he had built a wall of ice that no one dared to approach yet Himchan had somehow managed to break through. It was more often than not that Himchan saw Yongguk's hand throb again and he wanted so badly to rush over to hold it. It was only then when Himchan realized that he had fallen for him. 



Once again, Himchan was searching for Yongguk and found his prey. Yongguk had been sleeping out on the field under a tree when Himchan attempted to sneak up behind him.



"Don't you even dare."

Himchan was stunned by how Yongguk knew he was approaching without even opening his eyes. Himchan plopped himself down, defeated. Himchan pouted once realizing that his water gun would go to waste...again.



"Is there a reason as to why you're dying to squirt me with water?" Yongguk asked in his usual bored tone. For a person like Yongguk, he would've already beaten the person up to pulp if anyone else did that. Himchan was his only exception. Yongguk pretended that this was not because he enjoyed his company, merely his conscience telling him not to pick on innocent people. 



At times, Himchan wondered why as well. It was childish but it was also an excuse to be around Yongguk without him realizing his true intentions. 



"No reason," he replied.

With that said, an awkward silence filled the air. To break it, Himchan randomly asked a question.



"If you could wish for something what would you wish for?"



Yongguk pushed himself up from the ground and looked at him with a raised brow.



"And get myself burning in pain?"



"No, I mean if it was just some regular wish." Yongguk was taken aback. With his correlation with the Star, he had never thought of it. Yongguk frowned slightly. He looked at Himchan before he turned away. Yongguk shook his head.



"Nothing."
Himchan was disappointed.



"Seriously? Nothing at all?"



"Then how about for you to leave so I can return to my sleep?" Yongguk replied sarcastically.

"Hah, very funny. I'm not going to until you tell me what you really want," Himchan replied, not amused.

"Then what do you wish for? And don't add the 'wish' word in it," Yongguk shot back. What best to counter a question than to offer one himself?

Himchan swallowed.



"I want you to tell me how you feel about me," he said quietly.



Yongguk froze. What to say?



"I don't feel...for you," he lied.

Himchan stared into his eyes and Yongguk just couldn't bear to look at his. 



"Oh...okay," Himchan answered and something inside him hurt.

Something inside Yongguk hurt him too. 



I wish that I can be with you.



Breaking this awkward moment, his mark seethed in heat again and Yongguk recoiled in pain. Himchan immediately took Yongguk's hand. Pulling off the glove quickly, Himchan found his hand burning hot once again. 



Himchan looked around, searching for something that even he didn't know what it was. There was nothing so Himchan resorted to the first thing that came to mind. Ignoring its heat, he lifted lifting Yongguk's hand up, Himchan blew on it.



Yongguk stared. It was the most ridiculous thing a person could think of. It made absolutely no sense for the blowing did nothing to lessen the searing heat but Yongguk could hardly feel it this time. Yongguk could only gaze at Himchan's sincere expression as he blew at his hand. 

At this moment, all Yongguk wanted was to forget everything and hold him but he couldn't.



"Is it working?" Himchan asked innocently. Yongguk snapped out of his thoughts and took his hand back.



"Yeah, it did," he replied quickly. Himchan just smiled as he put Yongguk's glove back on for him. Yongguk took a deep breath to calm his insides. Yongguk glanced at Himchan nervously. The feeling of wanting to love, he cursed, was just another form of cruelty. He couldn't let this drag on any longer.

He needed to end this.

sorry if i'm too lazy to format it ;__;

the internet is being drastically sloooooooooow and my head is giving up on me.

>"<

hope you enjoy this update~

comment & sub if you want ^^