"Sacrifices"

▽△▽△▽△

Once back home, Yongguk pulled off his shirt and looked at his reflection. The black streaks of the marking had consumed even more of his arm. Each wish caused it to grow and feast in his blood. The magnitude of the wish determined the amount of pain he received and at times, it was more that he could withstand. 



It was not in his control as to what he hears from others but to intentionally ask someone to make a wish would be considered foolish, at least in the logical sense. The Star was cruel to its servants. It understood pain very well and in every form inflicted it mercilessly yet he had done it twice. Yongguk himself had chosen willingly to suffer for them. Himchan was his second. Jieun was his first.



"Jieun!" Yongguk said as he met up with Jieun at the hospital. Jieun was on the ground huddled in the very corner of the hall, crying. Yongguk could feel the pain that was in Jieun's heart right now. The feeling could not be understood by those who never experienced the lost of a loved one.



Jieun's family had just gotten into a car accident and her mother was severely injured. Yongguk glanced at the double doors, knowing that behind them were doctors trying desperately to save her but it was not possible. Her mother was dead.

Yongguk bent down next to Jieun and hugged her, trying his best to comfort her. Jieun was his only friend but Yongguk loved her more than that.

"She left me...she left me," Jieun sobbed. Her trembling voice brought tears into Yongguk's eyes. He had suffered every pain possible yet the tears of his loved one tore him apart like none other. Pain should only be suffered by him. Why were the heavens being so cruel to Jieun? 



Yongguk broke his embrace to face Jieun. He wiped the tears that Jieun had shed with his fingers before cupping her face.

"Please, tell me how much you want his back. Tell me that you wish for his to return to you," Yongguk pleaded as his gloved hand held on to Jieun's.

"Yongguk, I want her back...I want her back...I wish that she'll come back to me,"

Jieun cried, holding tightly onto Yongguk's hand.
Through his tears, Yongguk smiled. Yongguk kissed Jieun gently on her forehead before he let go and ran away. He could not let Jieun see what was to come. 

Behind him, Yongguk heard a muffled cry.



"She has a pulse!" 

Reversing death was not a simple wish. It was as if his entire body was on fire but Yongguk clenched his teeth as he ran further and further away from hospital. War broke out in him and every attack was aimed at only one person. Yongguk sprinted into an empty alleyway when he couldn't hold it in any longer.

 Yongguk let out a blood curdling scream as he pounded his fists wildly again and again at the brick wall. 

His skin ripped against the rough surface and his knuckles bled but every second of this torture did not make him regret. Jieun's happiness in exchange for this.

To him, it was worth it.



But that was a long time ago. Yongguk no longer approached others because he knew that in the end physical pain was not the greatest punishment. Something else was and the Star had shown him exactly that. 



△

“Hey Himchan, did you watch the drama on last night? He confessed and performed the sweetest scarf kiss ever! I think that will be my dream kiss now," his classmate spazzed. 



Himchan just nodded absentmindedly. As promised, everyone forgot of it and treated his normally as if nothing happened. At first he could not believe it and was hesitant to enter his class but when he did, his friends greeted him and the others acted normal. It was like a miracle for him. 



All through class, all he could think of was Yongguk. Once the bell woke his from his thoughts, Himchan decided that this time he would have to find him. 



Himchan waited patiently at the front doors, knowing that Yongguk would have to come out this way. Daehyun walked pass him and flashed his winning smile. Instead of dropping into bits, Himchan glared at him. The confused Daehyun entered the room without another word. He like all others had forgotten. 



Himchan smiled when Yongguk came but Yongguk just passed his like he didn't know his. Himchan's mouth dropped at the hostility. Soon turning into a frown, Himchan marched after him. 


"Why are you ignoring me?" 



Yongguk didn't meet his gaze. Instead, he continued walking. 



"Not ignoring anyone. I don't usually notice my surroundings to begin with." 



"Then why won't you look at me now?" 



"Because there's no reason to." Himchan was determined to say something.



"Can I at least say thank you for standing up for me yesterday?"



"No, because no one remembered that it ever happened so let's just pretend we don't either."



Himchan hated how stubborn he was. Quickly, Yongguk crossed the street with Himchan still tailing him but Himchan was blocked by the sudden traffic that Yongguk had so cleverly dodged.



"I'm going to follow you until you give me one chance to thank you!" he yelled across the street. Yongguk did a nonchalant wave without turning back. Himchan lifted his fist while making a face.

Savior or not, Yongguk was being very difficult.



Similarly so, Yongguk hated how stubborn he was for following him. Ever since that day, Himchan had started to follow him all over the place, both during school and after school. 



Yongguk stabbed his fork into the food when Himchan sat promptly next to him in the cafeteria.



"Is this what you usually do when you still liked Daehyun? Getting out all your stalking materials and sitting down without invitation?"



"I didn't bring out any stalking material. I save those for people I like," Himchan replied coolly, taking a large bite out of his own meal while Yongguk choked on his food. This boy sure knows what he's doing.



"And this isn't your seat so I can sit here without your permission," Himchan finished. Though reluctant to admit it, Yongguk somewhat liked the feeling of having someone not being afraid of him but no way in hell was he going to show that.



"Your friend is calling for you. Shouldn't you go?" he mumbled. Hyosung was indeed calling for him but Himchan just waved back, telling her he was going to sit here today. Hyosung stared at him with her most confused look before sitting down at another table. 



Himchan returned happily to his meal, stuffing a rather large spoonful of rice into his mouth. Yongguk stared wide-eyed at the amount. A few more bites later and completely annihilating his meal, Himchan looked for his drink only to realize that he forgot to get one. 



"Since you're done with your lunch can you get me a drink please," Himchan asked Yongguk, his mouth still full. Yongguk looked at him incredulously.



"You realize that you are talking to me right? Yongguk, boy with brown hair, resembling some mafia boss' son, not to mentioned cursed by hell and you order me to go get you a drink?"



"I said please," Himchan answered simply, ignoring Yongguk's sarcastic tone. Yongguk scoffed.

"Yea, because 'please' makes all the difference."



"Yes, it does!" Himchan argued.



Yongguk let out a derisive laugh. "Not in my world."



Yongguk pushed his chair back, taking his tray to the garbage and left Himchan alone. Himchan watched him leave and realized he left something. Himchan grabbed it and waved it in the air.



"Yongguk! You forgot your-"

His sentence never finished. Himchan lowered his hand and placed it back on the table. Himchan's face slowly split into a smile.

The canned drink gleamed back at his, soon sweating under Himchan's gaze. Very much like its owner, its cold shield was starting to melt. 

△

"Yongguk!"



“What do you want from me now?" Yongguk cried exasperated. Himchan looked slightly frightened by his tone and Yongguk suddenly found himself speaking softer.



"What do you want?" he asked again. 



"I still haven't thanked you yet..." Himchan mumbled. 



"You don't have to. There's nothing you need to thank me for. Now if you excuse me, I need to go."



Himchan trailed after him.



"Where are you going?" 



"Somewhere that does not concern you. Now go home." So after that, Himchan had given up asking altogether. Instead he just followed him, trailing only a few steps behind. Yongguk turned into an opening between two stores and headed downstairs. Though hesitant, Himchan followed him. It was dark, loud with a dance floor and definitely not a place he should be. Yongguk walked to a corner as if he owned it and flung his school bag down on the couch. 



"Why are we here?" Himchan asked although he already knew the answer. Yongguk raised a brow.



"First of all, it was not intended to be a 'we'. I'm here for someone."



Right on cue, Himchan stood frozen as someone brushed pass him and into Yongguk's arms. Himchan could not hold in his awkwardness when the long-haired girl sat comfortably on Yongguk's lap and had arms wrapping around his neck. Not only was this situation awkward, it made Himchan want to hit something.

"Yongguk, you haven't come down for such a long time," the girl said in smooth English. Yongguk stared at Himchan, expecting him to leave. Himchan knew what he was playing at and Himchan would not lose. Himchan sat down promptly on the couch next to him and even ordered a drink to show his comfort. Yongguk had never seen anyone act so well. Yongguk knew of course that Himchan had never stepped into a place like this before. 



Grabbing the girl's hand, Yongguk led Hana onto the dance floor. Himchan watched him intently, making sure that Yongguk would not escape. This game dragged on for another hour and Yongguk was getting impatient. How hard was it to make someone go away? He and Hana snuck to the other corner, knowing very well that Himchan was still looking.



"Can you do me a favour and play along?"

Yongguk twirled her to the wall and captured her lips. 

Himchan felt his grip tighten on the glass, willing it to shatter. Himchan watched with unexplainable anger as Hana and Yongguk held onto each other. Himchan couldn't take it anymore. Himchan slammed his cup onto the table and picked up his bag. This anger made his want to leave and never come back. 



Yongguk sneaked a glance at Himchan's retreating back. Once he was gone, Yongguk stopped and pulled himself away. Something ached and it was definitely not his hand. 



"Sorry."



Hana smiled playfully and poked Yongguk on the cheek with his finger.



"Someone cares doesn't he?"

Yongguk frowned at her.



"Shut up." Yongguk had known Hana for awhile and she was the only one, apart from Himchan now, that knew of his condition. It had to be considered fate. Hana's father had once bore the mark and died on the 23rd of September. Her father had been the previous servant. 
It was almost impossible for a servant to have lived long enough to marry and have a kid. Not to mention the difficulties of finding someone who loved you enough to look pass the curse. Hana's mother was the one exception and raised Hana alone after he died. It was a miracle that Yongguk wanted to find.



"I approve," Hana declared. Yongguk threw her a glare.



"You approve what?" Hana smirked evilly. 



"Oh you know what. The boy seems to have something for you."



"Yea well, it's not going to get very far will it?” Hana frowned at the pessimist. 



"Not everyone will abandon you, you know. Look at my mother, she-"



"-is the only exception in all of history," Yongguk finished. "Plus I think the Star likes me a lot better than your dad. Look at this," Yongguk said as he took off his jacket, revealing his arm. Hana dropped in shock. It had grown exponentially and was inching closer and closer to his shoulder. 



"How did it happen so fast?" she gasped. 



"Like I said, the Star is getting old and needy. Wants to hurry up and drag me along to join the rest of its playmates. Either that or people are getting more useless than I thought. If they can solve the problems themselves, they should," Yongguk muttered.

Hana just stared. Her father had at least lived to his high twenties while Yongguk was only eighteen. What made the world more dependent on the Star? 



"Why?"



"The people now are swamped with luxuries. They barely need to do anything themselves. However when the time comes when they actually do need to do something, they don't know how to and fear overtakes them. Fear to approach their problem. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of the hardships the process of trying might bring. What better way than to wish it all away? I mean, what is there to lose for them? I pay for whatever they wish for anyways. Seems like a pretty good deal to me."

Yongguk let out a hollow laugh and threw his jacket back on. Hana frowned even more.

"You need to stop being so bitter. Yes, humans are often controlled by fear but you're not one to talk. Aren't you the same?"



"Did I say I wasn't?"



“You're scared of letting that boy get closer to you. You're scared he will leave. Since he already knows, don't you think that if he wanted to leave he would've already done so?"



"You don't understand what I've been through," he growled yet Hana pressed on.



"Then tell me you idiot. That way I will."



Yongguk drained his cup before slamming it down on the counter. Yongguk turned to face Hana with utmost anger. Hana had forced him to remember something he had kept buried for a long time.

"Jieun~," Yongguk sang as he entered her room. Jieun had called him that day and Yongguk hurried over. When Yongguk entered, he immediately felt that something was wrong. Jieun was sitting on her bed with a deadened expression that made him worry.



"What is it?" Yongguk asked as he approached her and noticed something that terrified him. Jieun's wrist bore a scar that seemed only a few days old and Yongguk knew exactly what it meant.



"Jieun, why did you do this to yourself?" Yongguk demanded holding onto Jieun's arm. 

"My parents want to divorce. After the accident, my dad started acting different. He didn't like that mom could no longer walk. He went and found others. They're going to split up and I can't do anything about it. I hear them fighting and arguing every day. It hurts."



Jieun turned her head to face Yongguk. Her eyes were blank and showed no emotion. 



"Yongguk, I'm scared. I don't want to hear them anymore. I want to escape."



Yongguk trembled in fear as he kneeled down on the floor in front of her. Yongguk grabbed hold of Jieun's hands, praying that she would listen.



"Please Jieun, don't do this to yourself. It's not your fault and this isn't the right way to solve it. You can't just take away your life like that. What am I going to do without you? You're my friend. No you're more than my friend. Please don't leave me. Please,"

Yongguk begged yet none of the words seem to have gotten through. Jieun just looked at his blankly.



"Jieun, I lo-"



"Yongguk, I wish to die."



"It was I who heard his wish. It was I that allowed the Star to hear her. It was I who ruined her. I thought that by saving her mother I did the right thing but it just made everything worse. I watched her go right in front of me. Do you know what it feels like to be the one responsible for the death of the person you love most?!" he screamed. 


The bar went quiet as they watched the boy sink to his knees. They did not understand what he was saying yet his pain had been heard by everyone.

In the corner, Himchan clasped his mouth with his hand, stifling his tears. How could they let one person go through something like that? Yet that was how Yongguk lived. All his life he had suffered.



Author's Thoughts:

:^D

idk but i hope u guys feel shocked right now lmAO

well uh, i think 3-4 more chapters to go? eugh? 

((well if u r bangsong shipper i am sorry blame the star kthx))

anyways, thank you for readin!

comment & sub if you wanna~ they will be very much appreciated /cries/

ya this is so unrelated but i've been crying over fancams of bap's my first kiss like no it's so INTENSE. yepp. bye.

❤ nuella-ssi

[guise i am hemcheng in twitter~ u can talk to me there ^^]