Lying in bed with his chin propped up on his folded hands, Junsu hummed along to one of the songs he would be singing tonight while strong hands pressed against his back. Once YooChun and Junsu finished in the shower, the two had gone into the bedroom to cool off in nothing but their towels. Yoochun then climbed ontop of Junsu, straddling his and started to give the younger male a massage. ‘For good luck’ he’d said, though Junsu wasn’t quite sure what good luck could come out of a massage. It was helping though. It was helping a lot.

“Are you nervous?” Yoochun asked, leaning down to brush his lips across his lover’s shoulder as he asked the personal question. “Not as much as last time. But a little, yes.” Junsu admitted, laughing nervously. He could then feel Yoochun’s hands massage a little harder along his shoulders with a small ‘hmm’. To be honest, Junsu was always a little nervous when he did things without his group mates. He’d spent so long performing with Yoochun and Jaejoong, it felt weird being without them. It was the same for his solo tour coming up. It would feel weird, but he could manage. He just missed being able to see Yoochun all the time.

“Will you come and watch?” Junsu asked, turning his head to look at Yoochun and his mostly body that was sitting on him. When Yoochun didn’t answer right away, Junsu frowned some and looked away. “Busy?” He asked flatly, closing his eyes so he could at least imagine that Yoochun was shaking his head and saying he’d come. “I can’t tonight…” With those three words, Junsu’s heart sunk into his stomach and a cold chill went through his body. “When were you going to tell me?” Junsu asked, not turning to look at Yoochun but once again pretending he was just smiling and shaking his head. It was just a joke, right? “Su…” Yoochun started, his voice soft as his hands stopped massaging Junsu’s back. “You weren’t, were you?” Didn’t Yoochun know that Junsu would have searched the crowd for him all night had he not told him?

“I have a meeting tonight. I can’t…” Yoochun said, his voice apologetic and barely more than a whisper. “It’s whatever…” Junsu said, moving to wiggle out from under Yoochun. The older male didn’t fight his wishes and rolled off and simply laid on the bed. “I’m sorry Junsu…” Yoochun offered only for Junsu to keep his back towards his lover and reach into his dresser to grab some underwear and sweatpants. “It’s whatever. Another night.” Junsu said before then turning towards Yoochun with wide eyes when he didn’t respond. “You DO plan on coming…right?” Yoochun stayed quiet, his eyes cast down towards his hands that were fidgeting with the towel wrapped around his waist.

“Whatever. Go get dressed Yoochun.” Junsu said with a heavy sigh and listened to the older male’s bare feet pad out of the room. He’d been so excited, so ready for Yoochun to see how much he improved from last year’s performance. But nope. Apparently Yoochun must have thought that seeing it once last year was enough. Whatever. Junsu just won’t watch his next movie that Yoochun was talking about picking up.

With the door shut behind Yoochun, Junsu knelt down a little and tried to catch his breath that threatened to completely escape him. His chest felt tight and tears were threatening to prick against his eyes. He wanted to be stronger than this, wanted to be independent and not rely on his group mates coming to see him. But it was more than just his group mates. Sure, Junsu would be sad to hear JaeJoong not being there when he thought he would, but Yoochun was different. He loved Yoochun. Not that he didn’t love JaeJoong, it was just different though

Kneeling in front of his dresser for a bit Junsu caught his breath for a second before then collecting himself and getting dressed. A pair of boxer briefs so that he didn’t have too much fabric to deal with when he put on those leather pants, a simple pair of sweat pants and a black v neck tee shirt. Junsu then went and grabbed a hoodie and a pair of sunglasses and left the bedroom. It was quiet except for distant meowing from the other room where he’d put the cats while Yoochun was there. The room was large enough that the cats could stay there for a couple hours while Junsu had guests.

“Yoochun?” Junsu called out, heading towards the sound of the cats. Maybe he’d gone to play with Bakira or one of the others? Once Junsu got there, however, it just seemed that Bakira and Tigger were playing. Once he confirmed that Yoochun wasn’t there, Junsu went around the house to see if he was possibly hiding out somewhere. No such luck. He was gone.

“Fine…be that way…” Junsu said, heading back to the room to let the cats out. Bakira scurried out first, quickly followed by Lion and Tigger. Leo then padded straight up to Junsu with a loud meow, causing the sad singer to smile some. “At least you guys love me, ne?” Junsu said, picking Leo up in his hands and carrying the fluffy Scottish fold out into the living room. It seemed that Bakira and Lion were going at it while Tigger sat up on the couch, tail twitching and ready to pounce on whoever was the winner in their game.

Plopping down next to Tigger, Junsu left Leo in his lap while petting Tigger. Of course the little grey tabby cat meowed at him and forgot the fight going on in the small space that was left from where Junsu and Yoochun had fallen before. “Do you want some treats?” He asked the two on the couch with him, receiving a happy meow from Tigger. “Alright. Treats and then Appa has to go to work!” Junsu said with a smile and pushed Leo to the side so he could stand up and head to the kitchen where the snacks were hidden. He could do this. He could be fine. It was Yoochun’s loss, not his. Maybe JaeJoong will be there. Or maybe even Leeu coming to see his replacement this year. It would be nice to see LeeU again. It’d been so long, even JaeJoong got to see him more than Junsu did.

“here you go…” Junsu said in a sing-song voice as he offered treats to each of his babies.