I'm here

 

"I hated Yong Junhyung."
Ever since he stole Yoseob away from me.

....

"And I hate you now with all my heart, for doing this to Yoseob."

-------
Yoseob cried his heart out after telling his plans about Junhyung. He's now on the ground, bawling. 

"D-don't...sob... ple-ase.. don't tell...sob... j-junnie-ah."

I gritted my teeth. Yang Yoseob, how many times do you have to hurt yourself?!

"I can't accept this."


I clenched my fist, my nails digging to my skin. I'm so angry!

"Whatever you do with him, I don't care. Count me out of this."

I turned my heel and walked away. Yoseob, you idiot. Tsk. Are you some kind of masochist?!

 

"Doojoonie-ah!"

 

I went to the lounge. I needed to cool down. I saw a vending machine, so I ordered coffee.

 

Then I suddenly remember Junhyung's ed up face.

 

"!"

 

I punched the vending machine hard. My knuckles hurt, but I don't care.

 

I'm just angry. Angry at Yoseob, angry at Junhyung, angry...
 

..at myself.

 

I ran my hands through my hair. 

 

"This is all my fault."

 

"If I haven't introduce Junhyung to him.."

He would have been mine.

 

"He wouldn't have to be hurt."

 

I felt anger rising again. 

 

"!"

 

I punched the vending machine with my other hand. 

 

"This is so up.."

 

------

"I saw the weird look in your eyes when you first met Yoseob. I recognized that look."

 

I had that one too when I met him.

 

"You were mesmerized."

 

I was too.

 

And I felt something grow inside of me.

"I was afraid."

.....

"You were my bestfriend, so naturally I'll introduce you to him. "

 

But what was this feeling?

 

I feel..

 

Like someone would be taken away from me.

 

...

 

And you did.

You took Yoseob away from me.

 

"How come I haven't realize it sooner?"

 

You made excuses of not wanting to hang out and play soccer when I asked you too.

 

And Yoseob did too.

 

 "You liked him."

 

Just like how I like him.

 

But I refuse to accept it.

 

I was the one who saw him first!

 

I was the one who...

 

loved him first.

 

" 'Doojoon-ah, I think I'm falling for Yoseob.' You said to me when we were at the cafe. I drank coffee, and you drank coke, as usual."

"I nearly spitted my coffee because of you."

 

My heart began to ache. 

I was trembling.

 

"R-really? What did Yoseob say?"

 

. 

 

Why did I ask that?

 

"You looked up as you thought for a moment."

 

No.

"You smiled at me."

 

Stop.

 

"I think..."

 

Shut up!

 

"He likes me too."

 

I don't want to believe it.

 

"Really? What makes you so sure?"

 

I think I sounded jealous because you raised an eyebrow.
 

And yes, I was jealous. 
 

Yoseob was mine.

 

I gripped the edge of the table as I felt anger rise inside me.

 

"We're dating now."

 

The world crumble before my eyes. 

 

Everything around me stopped.

 

No movement, no noise.

I feel my heart breaking.

 

I mean, who wouldn't?

 

........

 

I loved him like, forever.

 

I showed signs that I liked him.

 

Kissing his forehead, holding hands, going out with just the two of us...

Everything.

 

..

 

Yet for some reason, he chose you. 

 

The person he has met for two months.

 

"I was bitter."

 

I started to hate you.

"I didn't hang out with you anymore. I started giving excuses about soccer practice, jobs, and everything."

 

Just like what you did to me when you were dating Yoseob behind my back.

 

"We all went out for the first time again, after you two became a couple officially, because Yoseob insisted."

 

I couldn't say no, can I?

 

"You two were walking in front of me, hands holding each other, and you two looked like the happiest people on earth."

 

You two were, and I was only in despair.

 

"It was unfair."

 

How come you two are so happy while I'm in misery?

"The world didn't care for me at all. It mocked me."

 

I gritted my teeth.

 

"You both have forgotten that you have a friend here."

 

Yoseob has forgotten about me.

 

...

 

"Yoseob called me every time. Asking me how I was, complaining that I haven't spend time with you both."

 

A unwanted hope filled me when I thought that he really wanted to spend time with me.

But it was useless.

 

And then I started hating him.

 

   ..

 

Hated him for not noticing my feelings.

 

I was always there.

 

I was always waiting.

 

It hurts.

 

"So I prayed, prayed that Yoseob would leave you."

 

...

 

But there's no god.

 

Because where was he when I prayed so much to have Yoseob?

There was no one.

 

"And I did the unthinkable."

 

I wished that a misfortune will fall on you.

 

"And now you have amnesia, how is that great?"

 

Do I pity you?

 

No.

 

In fact,

 

I hated you even more.

 

"Yoseob won't still leave your side."
 

------------

 

"Doojoonie-ah!"

 

I heard Yoseob's voice calling my name.

It had been far too long till I have heard my name from his beautiful voice. 

 

I don't want to see him.

 

"I feel like my resolve will break once I see his face."

 

My resolve to move on, to forget about him.

 

To forget my feelings.

 

""What?" I asked."

 

I should have left when I still had time.

 

"Please.. don't tell Junhyung."

So I wouldn't lose myself.
 

"Why?"

 

"Because.. "
 

I clenched the empty can of coffee that I was drinking before. It scrunched up, because of the force I put, this can was beginning to act like a stress ball to me.

 

"He will.. just get hurt again."

 

" JUNHYUNG!"

I threw the can at the floor and Yoseob flinched at my words and actions.

 

"What's 'he's going to be hurt again'? What about you?!"'

 

I don't like seeing you hurt.
 

"You're acting like a mother ing martyr out there! Friend? Roommate? Benefactor? What the hell are you thinking?!"

 

You need to wake up!

 

"He has forgotten about you! Why are you still sticking up to him, making some sort of lie?"

 

"It's not a lie!"

 

"It's lies! You're his lover!"

 

Stop defending yourself, Yoseob.

 

Please.

 

" 'I'm not anymore!' You yelled, as you shut your eyes. 'He.. broke up with me.'"

If you were his friend, usually you should be sympathetic.

 

But I'm not.

 

I didn't want that kind of status.

 

I love you, and that's that.

 

" 'Then why the are you still with him?!' "

 

He flinched, as I yelled those words.

 

" 'You know you deserve to be with somebody that would make you happy!'"

 

I can make you happy.

" Somebody who won't make you cry!"

You've already cried enough.

"Somebody who won't hurt you!"

I am here, damnit!

"Somebody who won't forget you easily!"

Just.. look at me already!

----

 

"He was crying when I said those words. I felt guilt rushed through me, but my anger was stronger."

 

" 'Tsk.."

 

I looked away.

 

" ' Just wake up already. ' "

 

...

 

I left him there; I just don't want to care anymore.

 

" It hurts having the person you love suffer, and even more hurting to see them drive a cliff that would be their death."

 

Yoseob doesn't understand anything.

He doesn't deserve this pain.

 

He doesn't deserve you, or anybody.

 

He deserve me.

"But he loved you too much that he can't leave you."

 

That's why he'll never be mine.

 

Funny, I should have known that by now.

 

But I keep hoping and praying that he leaves you.

 

Then I realize it was all in vain.

 

" Ah, Why am I crying? "

 

Tears flowed before I realized it.

 

" I love you, Yoseob. Why can't you just realize it?"
 

.

 

 

 

 

A/N: Aha. As, promised, Doojoon's POV. Am so proud of Doojoon. ;A;. He made me feel wedding dress vibe in this chapter. There's some hints of the song wedding dress, words that were taken from that song.