"Hey Junnie-ah, how many times do you have to break my heart?"

I hugged my knees as I sat on a chair and stared at the ground. Everybody left, for they needed rest. Doojonie-ah asked for me too, but I didn't go. 

"I'm already used to these kinds of sleepless nights,---nights that I cried for you, nights that I waited for you to come home."

I choked a sob. I'm about to cry again. I covered my face with my hands, hands that you used to hold and fitted perfectly with yours. "J-junnie-a..h."

"Where did we go wrong?"

Then I wept again. I remembered the scene awhile ago and wept harder. I hugged my knees tightly as if it's the only thing that would keep me from breaking down. "Is this some kind of joke?" I wanted to ask. 

"But your face didn't show anything of it."

 I sobbed. It hurts.

"Who are you?" 

Your voice kept repeating those words in my head. I covered my ears and still cried. Why are you doing this?

"How come you have forgotten about me?"

-----------

You came home late that day, drenched in the cold rain, yet the smell of alcohol hung around you. You had your bangs covered your eyes, as you stared at the ground.

""J-junnie-a-ah! You're drenched! I'll go get a towel," I said, as I turned around and ran to the bathroom. You just stood there by the door, not saying anything. "

I'm scared, scared of you, scared of what you would say, and scared of what you would do. You've been mad at me   for almost three weeks. You kept shouting, swearing and got angry at the smallest things. You even slapped me when I asked you what's wrong. You're always get drunk and come home late. Lastly, You stopped calling my name.

Why are you being mean, Junhyung?

Why are you doing this?

I came back with a towel on my hand. I walked my way towards you and gave you a forced smile. 

"Let's break up."

Those words immediately stopped my tracks, my thoughts, the beating of my heart, and everything around me. 

"H-huh?"

I felt the involuntary tears that made it's way upwards. I stared at you in shock. I was trembling.

"You glanced at me, and gulped. I caught a glimpse of surprise in your face. But then you looked at me again, a blank one."

No.

Please.

Don't say it. 

"You inhaled in your nose and exhaled at your mouth,as if what you would say was hard. I hope it was."

I wanted to cover my ears. 

To run away.

To make sounds that would exceed the sound of your voice.

Just to never hear those words.

"Let's break up."

...

"Keeekkkk!"

[(http://soundbible.com/tags-glass-shatter.html) sound 2 kay?]

Just now.

What was that?

Ah, I know.

It was the sound of my heart breaking. 

"I felt a knot on my throat. I clenched my fist tight and stared at him."

"W-why?"

I also don't want to hear your reason.

I can't accept it.

"I'm sorry."

..

You uttered and turned your back, leaving me there, only to stare at the spot where you were. Tears flowed. 

Why?

Why Junnie-ah? 

Didn't you love me? 

Didn't you say that you were not going to leave me no matter what happens?

"I was having a hard time to breathe. I clutched the place where my heart lies on my shirt."

It hurts. 

For once in my life I wished my heart would stop, so I can't feel this pain anymore.

"Then I broke down, lied in a fetal position and cried with all my might."

Cried till I can no longer hear my cries.

Cried till I can no longer feel the pain in my heart. 

Cried till the exhaustion put me to sleep.

...

"The moment I woke up, I was on the floor, and the door was still open.

The memories of yesterday went and tortured me."

Then the pain was here again. 

And I cried again.

.....

"Feeling that I can no longer cry, I stood and went to the door.I saw your shoes, and a shaky breath escaped from me. I ducked my head outside. The hallway was wet because of the rain. Then I saw your scarf, and the things you had yesterday. "

"It formed a trail, and that trail only leads to the stairs."

Oh God. 

No.

"I stepped out of our apartment and ran. Our apartment was one apartment before the stairs."

Every moment that we've spent together was like a fast forward movie.

Your smiles.

Your smirks.

Till yesterday.

"Then I was at the top of the stairs. The sight even broke my shattered heart."

Why is this happening to me?

If this was a dream, then please wake me up.

"JUNHYUNG!"

-----------

"Hey Junnie-ah, Why is it that even I'm tired of crying the tears still trickles down on my cheek?"

I sighed deeply, and cried again, hopefully it would be the last; for I feel that I can no longer cry. 

....

"Hey Junnie-ah, what should I do? I bet you're awake now. Should I tell you what am I to you? Should I tell you that we were lovers and you broke up with me two days ago?"

Like the doctor said, there must be a reason, why you wanted to forget. 

"Did you regret ever standing by my side? Did you regret everything we've been through? Did you... regret loving me?"

As a person who loves you I can no longer make you suffer.

As a person who loves you I'm no longer qualified to say that you are my lover.

Never again, will I make you regret.

"I opened the door to your room, and as I thought you were awake. I forced a smile. I came to you gingerly. And then you asked who I was and why I was here again."

It hurt like it did the first time.

For you not to recognize me.

The one you loved for two whole years.

"I swallowed the urge to cry again. I held out my trembling hand to you, and put a grin, the biggest I can ever make."

"Yang Yoseob, your roomate and your benefactor!"

TBC.