Extra Chapter III
Our Problematic RelationshipPart III
“You look scared.”
“Thank you, Sehun…” he did not missed her sarcastic tone. Sehun smiled as he looked at the sky, feet steady matching with her steps, squeezing her warm hand in his.
It was not that easy to make Naeun to open up for him, to break into her life, and to pull her into his life too. It was not easy to hold her hand, to hug her for comforts and to make her cry in front of him. Naeun was a ball of a closed puzzle.
But Sehun has heard more than enough about her when Luhan talked and whined and spazzed about her to him. Sehun knew enough about her, that when they first met it was like meeting an old friend whom he has never met before. Although, it was hard at first because only he felt like that.
Naeun has never heard of him before.
They were on their way back home, walking hand in hand swinging back and forth carelessly. Naeun used to flinched and snapped his hand away whenever he tried to hold her hand, but Luhan used to tell him that with Naeun, you just have to try again and again, and if you don’t give up one day she will open up for you.
So Sehun did not gave up.
Surprisingly it didn’t took long for Sehun to break in. Credit to his connection with Luhan, of course.
Now why does it matter so much to him? Why does he need her to open up for him? Sehun could not answer the question but when he saw her one day at the cafeteria, she seemed familiar and when he found out that she used to be one of the causes of his sleepless night having to hear Luhan spazzed about, he wanted to know her better.
Maybe because she was the person that Luhan used to cherish a lot during his lifetime.
Maybe he was just jealous.
But his decision back then got him placed right next to her though. He did not plan to stay. His initial plan was just to stop by in her life, to get to know her but when he was about to leave, he didn’t. He became permanent he could not remember why.
There was a knock on the door and she decided to ignore whoever it was because having anyone walk into her room when there were dresses and ridiculous girlish clothes splayed on her bed and all over the room would be, she thought, bizarre.
This collection of clothes that she have has been hidden from everyone because it was simply too embarrassing for her to be seen in those kind of outfit. She bought them but not once has she wore them out for display.
“Naeun. Let me innn~” Sehun’s voice pleading from the outside.
“I’m going to sleep Sehun, go away…”
“Either you open the door or I’ll just use the key I stole from the drawer.”
Naeun groaned in frustration as she stomped to the door. She made a mental note to hide the key somewhere else. When she opened the door, Sehun’s -eating grin met her furious glare. But he walked in past by her anyway and smirk contently. “I knew it.”
“What?”
“Sleep? Huh of course you’ll be preparing for tomorrow.”
“What tomorrow?”
“In case you forgotten, I’m not deaf. I heard a yes from you when he ask you out.”
“I didn’t say yes.”
“Well yeah. Technically, you said ‘okay’. Okay is a yes so... Yes, you said yes. So which dress are you going to wear for tomorrow’s date?”
“It’s none of your business, Sehun. Now you’ve confirmed what you want to prove, get out.” Naeun’s hands gripping her waist. But Sehun was not the least affected, his eyes wandered around her room looking at her clothes collection.
“How are you not my business? I feel like sending my daughter off on her first date oh my god, we have to choose the right outfit for you, dear.” He moved towards a bunch of crumpled clothing at the corner of the room.
“He’s not my first date and you are younger than me, ‘dad’.”
Sehun gasped and brought two hands over his mouth, his eyes wide and Naeun thought he was such a drama. “Oh my god, daughter, you have a pink dress?”
Daehyun’s feet tapped the ground impatiently. (Nervous, actually). His hands nestled awkwardly in his dark blue jeans. He blew puff of white air as he sighed for the fourth time. He looked at his wristwatch on his left hand and somehow regretted that he came too early because then he have to wait for her and waiting was never an easy assignment to begin with.
He ended with having too much time to think about what will happen, all the positive and negative possibilities. But screw all that, he have to, no, he must do his best.
He said he’ll pick her up at her house at 10 and it’s not like Naeun’s house was any stranger’s house. He has been in there for more than he has ever been in his parent’s house. Mr. Son and Mrs. Son knew him too so he doesn’t know why he was too nervous to just ring the bell.
But then the gate was opened, startling him and the person who came out after that was even more shocking. He gaped at her unconsciously, mouth opened and his whole body froze as if the winter cold has done some magic on him.
Naeun noticed the stiffness in the air as she closed the gate behind her and glanced at him too quickly before retreating her gaze back to her feet. This is awfully embarrassing, she thought as she fiddled with her fingers. She could feel the tinge of pink creeping up her cheeks and she snorted away the awkwardness suffocating both of them.
“What?” she snapped when Daehyun doesn’t seemed like he was going to come down to earth soon. “Never seen a girl wearing dress before?”
“Never seen Son Naeun wearing any dress before,” and it’s ing pink, Daehyun added to his thought. Naeun used to shudder at the sight of the color. But when the color was on her, it suited her very well. Too well, Daehyun thought and if only Naeun was his, he would have made a fuss and asked the girl to change into something else because she looked so cute and adorable and beautiful Daehyun wanted to take her and hide her in his pocket if that was possible.
“Is that heels on your feet, Naeun?” Daehyun raised a teasing brow on her way and enjoyed seeing her turned red. Naeun gave him an annoyed face.
“This is a bad idea, why did I even bother,” she turned away from him and her hand reached for the gate, wanting to get inside and disappear forever and curse Jung Daehyun to death. But Daehyun was quick to grabbed her hand and pulled her back to face him. He grinned when she glared at him, he didn’t plan on letting her hand go.
“This is a very good idea, Naeun. Besides, you look beautiful and I’ve taken the day off for you so you have to spend the day with me, bad idea or not.”
“Your -eating grin tell me that I look funny. Let me change, first,” she tried to take his hand off her but he tugged back.
“No… You loook really beautiful today, so why ruin the effort? Let’s just go, shall we?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“But…”
“Come on~!”
The weather was nice, though a bit cold. The snow was melting so they walked carefully slow so not to trip and further embarrass themselves. Daehyun did not let Naeun’s hand go from when he held it firm in his. Naeun was warm, as always and he thought, he really missed this radiating warmth coming from the woman walking beside him.
Naeun did not seemed to mind so he kept on holding her hand and keeping her close. They didn’t talk much during the walk. Naeun always enjoyed seeing her surrounding, the nature and the sun. And Daehyun chose to be satisfied with seeing her discreet smile forming on her lips when she saw anything with beauty.
It was weird, to be honest, really. He had imagined these countless time in his head, holding her hand and letting her walk beside him as he pick up the wild pounding beat in his chest. But it still felt weird when it happened because he couldn’t really get past the fact that they are best friend.
They still are, right?
He no longer sure of their status. But he was sure that he wanted this. He wanted her. But he doesn’t know what was in her head. So he squeezed her hand and gained her attention when she looked at him. He smiled sheepishly. “Where do you want to go? Do you have anywhere in mind?”
She shrugged. “This is a small town. I don’t know where else can we go. Don’t you have anything in mind?”
“How about that coffee shop at the corner?” he pointed to their right. It was ‘that’ coffee shop. The one where Daehyun once brought her to a ‘date’ and it turned out to be a heartbreaking scene in the rain. She smirked unconsciously at the memory that crept up her mind. She nodded nonetheless. “Sure.”
Daehyun tried to be a gentleman, holding the door for her, taking her coat off and pushing the chair for her. She tried her best to stifle a laugh because it felt so funny having him treating her like that. “Stop those acts, I feel like throwing up,” she said while grinning jokingly.
Daehyun glared at her as he tried to find a comeback. “Just let me do this right.”
“But they are so cheesy,” Naeun curled her finger, trying to explain how serious this cheesiness act could kill a person. Daehyun rolled his eyes. “What do you want for drink?”
“Espresso, please. And I want that blueberry cheesecake. Thank you,” she smiled playfully. She was not someone who like to order people around like that. On normal occasion, she would have walked to the counter and ordered for herself. She thought it was really annoying to make people do what you can obviously do yourself.
But Daehyun was purposely spoiling her for the day so she thought, let’s just let him do it. Why waste the chance that doesn’t often come your way?
He slipped from his chair to the counter and Naeun looked around the café. It has been so long since she last come to the cafe. She was not a fan of coffee but once in a while coffee doesn’t seemed like a bad idea. The interior design has changed a little, and it was a bit cozier than the last time.
She stared at Daehyun from afar. She doesn’t know why did she agreed to this date no matter how many times Sehun asked. She simply said yes because after 55 seconds of silence, Daehyun’s eyes were straight on her, demanding and pleading at the same time. She hasn’t seen that look in his eyes for so long.
Well, she hasn’t seen him for a long time.
And his look got her heart skipping beats and before she knew it, an ‘okay’ slipped out from . And she said to herself, to coax her to calm the down, that the date means nothing, just two old best friend trying to fix their relationship, trying to patch things up so that they won’t be so awkward around each other anymore.
But why does it felt so much more?
Daehyun put the tray he carried down and took his seat back across her. She took her espresso and the cake from the tray and muttered a thank you. “Your tongue still can’t tolerate coffee?” she when she saw a cup of milk on the tray. I mean, come onnn he’s a man and a man who doesn’t drink coffee is so not cool.
“I don’t know why people prefer that charcoal-like drink. I’m fine without it,” he only smiled, almost smugly that Naeun rolled her eyes. “You were the one who suggested coming here in the first place…”
“Well, that’s because I’m cold. And besides, I haven’t had my breakfast.” Daehyun divided the toast he ordered into two before taking it down his stomach.
Naeun sighed, just because. After a while, she focused on her cake to ignore the incessant silence that continue to engulf the both of them. Why this feels so hard, she wondered. They avoided any eye contact and Naeun started to think that these is all ridiculous. But she didn’t say anything, trying her best to hold her laughter.
Until Daehyun cleared his throat and started the boring conversation. “Ehem.. emm.. So how’s Seoul?”
Naeun decided to just play along, because he was trying and it’s not fair if he had to try alone. “Seoul’s fine. I’m glad that we have this winter break, or else I’d be running around to catch the datelines for those never-ending assignments and tutorials.”
…
“How’s you chef-to-be preparation?”
“Oh. It’s… fine I guess. I’ll be participating in a competition after this semester break. It’ll contribute to my mark for final project. So I guess, …I’ll graduate just fine. Besides, I’m having private lessons in the kitchen at my workplace.”
“Oh, sounds great.”
“Yeah…”
…..
“Emm…”
……….
“How is the cake?” at this, Naeun can’t help but burst into a chuckle. That was rich and this is super awkward. Daehyun looked at her with concern in his eyes, confused by her reaction. “It’s good. It tastes the same like how I remember it. Do you want some?”
Daehyun hesitated, eyeing her cautiously before he asked, “Can I?”
And Naeun laughed so much for his manner and attitude. She doesn’t think she can get use to this Daehyun. “Dae, I said cut the crap out. This is not you, and these are not us.”
Daehyun stared at her, eyes complicated. She knew he was trying to find the right words, arranging his sentence and she doesn’t like the fact that he’s doing mathematics with her, trying to calculate the best moves and the best verses. “I don’t think I know how we used to be around each other anymore.”
“Stop calculating. You are my friend, and I am you friend. Friends doesn’t do calculations with each other.”
She saw him frowned at her sentences, his eyes fell and his body stiff. As if half of his soul has been ripped off from his body. “Dae?”
He looked back at her after a few seconds to quick, smiling and nodding. He took a deep breath and she watched him worriedly. “Okay,” he said and continued to eat his toast.
They finished whatever left on the table in silent. It was uncomfortable but neither said anything. But when they stepped out of the coffee shop, Daehyun claimed her hand back into his and intertwined their fingers together. He didn’t glance at her, so she just let him do what he wanted.
They walked together aimlessly, hand in hand and side by side, shoulders subtly brushing against each other. Naeun had to control her heartbeat by trying to breathe in and out steadily. She doesn’t know why her face heating up and her chest pounded mercilessly because Daehyun was holding her hand too tightly as if afraid she might disappear the moment he loosened up (or maybe she was just in denial).
“Have you went to visit Luhan?” it was out of nowhere and it took a while for the question to make sense to her.
“Oh. Yeah. When I first met you at the restaurant that night, I just come back from visiting him.”
So she purposely came home on his death anniversary. Is it possible that she hasn’t forgotten about him? Does he still claimed his first place in her heart? Does she still loves him? Is that why she still haven’t give any answer?
, she is too confusing.
“You went with that blonde guy?”
“Sehun? …Yes. Sehun was one of Luhan’s close dongsaeng. We met at my university.”
“You two went to the same university?”
“Yup.”
“Where is he staying?”
“He lives in Seoul,” Naeun brow creased as she analyzed Daehyun’s questions and the tone he was using. “But he stays at my house for this winter break, since I dragged him here.”
“He’s in your house?”
“Well, yes. I thought I said that.”
“There’s a man in your house?”
Naeun made an annoyed face. “Dae, you’re a man. You used to be in my room almost every night.”
“But I’m different!”
“And how are you different? Are you gay?”
“That’s not what I mean!”
Daehyun didn’t raised his voice, thankfully. But it was still embarrassing that they fought in the middle of the sidewalk where people past by and glanced at them skeptically.
Naeun looked down, refusing to continue whatever argument they had because it’s not worth it. And she has always been the calm one. Almost. Her gaze fixed on her hand in his, he still has not let go despite the little fight that they had. And then she heard him sighed.
And she felt so much like a spoilt child that he had to handle and it seemed like he has started to regret his decision as she saw him burying his face in his free hand, massaging the bridge of his nose. Her heart tugged a little.
He looked back at her (he always looked back at her), and smiled the most sincere smile he could manage at that moment though it looked like he was in pain. “Let’s call it a day. Let’s go home…”
She stared at him, not smiling back or giving him any answer, hoping he would read her message through her eyes because Luhan always did that without missing a hint. But Daehyun obviously and completely missed them when he just pulled her to walk back to the direction of her home.
They walked in silence, again. This time the silence was too heavy to carry that with every steps they took together, Naeun heard crashing sounds as their heart break to an unknown cause.
She hated her incompetence with words. But she doesn’t even know what to say, to tell him, to comfort him.
“I’m sorry that this ended up like this,” he said when they reached at her front house. “Maybe we’ll go out again this weekend. I’m just not in the mood today, I’m afraid I might hurt you if we continue.”
She stood quietly, searching for his eyes but he seemed to avoid any eye contact with her. “Just don’t go without telling me first, okay. We might create another scene at the airport and I don’t want you to leave me with a -off finger this time…”
Naeun grinned. “I’m not sorry for that.”
Daehyun shrugged. “I deserve it anyway. But the initial cause for that scene was not my fault.”
“I’m not sorry for that either.” And Daehyun grinned to that.
“Just go in, you ,” Daehyun pushed Naeun to the gate and Naeun muttered I got it I got it in between her search for the key.
When she was just about to close the gate, that’s when Daehyun decided to bring up the real questions in his mind. “What if I don’t want to be your friend?”
There was a pregnant silence and stillness in the cold winter air.
“What?” Naeun peeked back at him from the gate. He was looking at his feet, hands in his pockets and feet fidgeting nervously.
Then he looked up to face her and searched for her eyes, “I don’t to want to be your friend,” he repeated, though slower than the first time.
Naeun went back out of her house, annoyed clearly written on her face. She crossed her arms and fought his gaze back. “So, are you like… breaking up our friendship with me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Daehyun hesitated but his heart said all that and just burst everything he held. “Because how do I be your friend when I want to hug you and kiss you and make you happy and make you laugh. As dirty as it sounds, that was the truth. I really, really am in love with you Son Naeun but you don’t seem to care much about how I feel about you so I am sorry, I can’t be your friend. I thought you have taken more than enough time to think over about us but… I guess I know the answer now. You can’t get over the fact that we are friend and you don’t take me seriously when I’m trying to be a man for you, I’ve said it all,” he paused to take a breath.
“You are upset.”
“Of course I’m upset. It’s not just you, I’m struggling to understand too, how we are going to work it out and stuffs but, I’m tired of trying alone. These are not my stuff and you are right, this is not me, but I just don’t know what to do anymore.”
“It was so much easier with Luhan,” she blurted out and he can’t help but frowned at that sudden comment. But she didn’t take it back despite the incredulous look that he has on his face.
She sighed. “Luhan can always read me. Luhan always knew. He would know that you’re not trying alone. I’m struggling to understand myself too. I’m trying to understand us and this weird feeling I always have for you. I won’t agree to this date if I’m not trying. I won’t wear this dress if I’m not trying. I won’t play along with your ridiculous act if I’m not trying. I now I’m tiring with my disability to speak about my feelings and all, but I thought you know me better than that. I thought you’d understand. And I’m sorry, I told you I’m not worth it.”
Without waiting for any comeback from the man, Naeun got into the house, slammed the gate behind her, and wondered when all these dramas will end.
Sehun was waiting on the other side of the gate. Obviously, he has been listening to their conversation. He didn’t say anything. He just spread his arms open for her to crash, and she did just that. She wrapped her hands around him and buried her face on his chest. He hugged her back, caressing her back, comforting her emotions.
She didn’t cry. She was just upset with herself. “It’s okay. You did a good job there,” Sehun whispered. “You’ll do better next time.”
“I shouldn’t have brought up Luhan into this,” her voice muffled from his chest. He laughed a bit because, “Yep, you shouldn’t have…”
“This is the end. He hates me now.”
“I don’t think so…”
“Sehun, stop spoiling me. I’m older than you.”
“I don’t know about that Naeun, regardless of whatever tough act you put on, all I can hear is you screaming to be spoilt.”
Naeun sighed because he was right. She has become more… womanized (?) by having Sehun by her side, pampering her like a little kid and she has become unconsciously used to it. “Are you sure you are not Luhan in disguise?”
It was too much of few days after the date that Sehun started to regret coming to her hometown. They have stayed indoor all day after that, watching television if not trying to burn the kitchen together. Her mother has started to give him weird glances no matter how much he tried to decipher her body language he could never understand any of it.
Mrs. Son, Sehun concluded, was as weird as her daughter was. Or was it supposed to be the other way around?
“Naeun,” Sehun nudged his friend sitting on the couch in the living room next to him. It was a boring Monday afternoon, her parents were not at home and she seemed to be not hungry because she has been staring at her phone since the day before. One love-struck girl couldn’t care more about human basic needs. “Naeun, I’m hungry.”
“So? Go get something to eat. You’re a grown up people and grown up people can feed themselves just right.”
“But your mother has forbidden me into her kitchen. You have to cook for me.”
“I’m busy. Go get something from outside or order take-out. The numbers are under the table.”
“Ow yeah, so damn right you’re busy. Busy staring at your silent phone. You even turned off the vibration mode. What’s the use of gaping at the numbers if you’re not going to answer his ing calls?”
“Shut up, Sehun.”
“Naeun?” Sehun knocked on her door few times. When he heard no answer from her, he turned the doorknob and peeked inside her room. She was lying on her stomach on the floor. “What are you doing?” he asked, genuinely curious.
“Meditating?”
Hell yeah, ‘meditating’. He was more that hundred percent sure no one has ever meditate in that position.
It was few days after Monday and she has done so many ridiculous things that Sehun had to call his mom back in Seoul to ask about the symptoms for PMS.
She was not having PMS. Mental breakdown, maybe yes.
“For what?” he asked further as he leaned to the door frame, crossing his arms, determined to see how far can she go with all these.
“To calm myself down, because there exist pests like you who enters a woman’s room without permission.” Sehun rolled his eyes.
“Well, that’s not fair because I don’t consider you as a woman. But the man downstairs do, so it will be nice if you can stop your ‘meditation’ and come down to see him for a second.”
Naeun snapped from her position, raised herself to sit and looked up at Sehun, obviously in shock. “Man? What man?" she asked incredulously.
“Naeun?” she heard that familiar voice and his footsteps coming closer to her room. That was when she scrambled to her feet and quickly reached for the door just to push Sehun out and slammed the door in a rush. After she locked the door and really tried to calm herself down from the anxiousness that she felt seconds ago, she found herself gasping for air, clutching at the doorknob too tight before her legs gave out and she fell on the floor, back against the door.
She wondered why she was so scared.
This is such a drama, she thought. Why is she making so much fuss over this?
“Naeun. Don’t do this to me, please. Let me see you. Let me talk…” she heard his voice pleading from the other side of the door. When there was no answer from her, she heard him sighed.
“I’m sorry… I don’t even know what I am sorry for, but I’m sorry.”
Naeun greeted her teeth, holding herself form letting out any sound as she stayed silent, listening to him.
“I’ve thought over your words. And you said you tried. You tried. Means that you want us to work too, right?”
Damn. Naeun closed her eyes due to an unknown embarrassment.
“That means I’m not alone in this, right?”
“That means if we try really hard eventually you will become mine, right?”
“Naeun?”
It’s not easy, Naeun thought, to get over that weird, complicated relationship that they used to have, the things that made them clung to each other. The history between them and those memories they shared together were no ordinary that the thought of them being together as one, as couple, as partner made her cringed and it just sounded so bizarre.
After more than few minutes, a click sound was heard and the doorknob twisted before the door was slightly opened. Naeun raised her face and their eyes met, a sigh of relief came from Daehyun. “Hey,” he said.
And she sighed too, taking few more seconds staring at each other, trying to deliver sincerity and more unspoken words.
“Things will get weird,” she started.
“I know.”
“We are not normal. What we have is not normal.”
He smirked. “I know.”
“I have changed. There are lots of new sides of me; I’m no longer that Naeun you know.”
He nodded. “I noticed that. I know.”
“You might hate me someday, get tired of me and leave me.”
“Err… I might hate you and get tired of you but please know that I won’t leave you. You see, after all these years of trying, I don’t think I can…”
“I don’t even know if I love you that way…” She remembered nights of staring at her phone. She remembered days when tears would just slipped from her eyes out of nowhere. She remembered dialing numbers but never press call. She remembered screaming at the lake near her campus about how stupid a certain someone was and cursing as if there was no one else but her at the moment.
“I’ll make you do.”
She remembered being frustrated that she met a counsellor just to come out of the room feeling more suffocated.
….
“Are you done with your part?” he asked when no more words came from her. She shrugged so he took it as his cue. “Okay now, listen to me.”
Her brow joined in confusion.
“We’ll be weird and difficult, but I love you. You’ve changed and yes, I don’t think I really know you anymore, but I love you. You are confusing, but I love you. I don’t even remember since when but I have always love you. I was a coward but I love you. Now I want to be with you because I love you. These three words has been repeating in my head every time I see you and all I can remember is I love you. I love you, Naeun and I’ll make you love me too. Just give me that one ing chance and I’ll let you see how weird we can be while we love each other. I’m sorry I’m not Luhan, I can’t read you like how he did but we’ll get through. Just please… be mine…”
Naeun gave him an odd look and stayed unmoving for a few seconds, and then… “That was really weird, …but as cheesy as it sounds,” she managed a strained smile and took his hands. “I’ll be yours…” ……. “Eww, yuck. I didn’t said that, but I did said that, so…”
………..
………………
“Err... Guys, isn’t this the part where both of you are supposed to kiss each other?”
“Shut up, Sehun!”
One year after the confession.
“Why are we hear again?” the man in black parka asked, hiding his hands in the pocket because , the weather was cold and the woman decided to climbed up to the rooftop.
She ignored his question and continued marching forward to the edge, closing her eyes and opening her arms wide, feeling the bracing wind. “I always love rooftop.”
“Yes, I know that, but the weather is telling me that we should go home and snuggle.”
“This is where you fell, right?” she pointed to the edge near her, grinning as if she just asked him whether if that was his favorite place for ice cream. He was not angry though, just curious as to what she was thinking. “Yeah. Maybe. I don’t remember. I was focusing on being angry at you and the next thing I know, I woke up in a hospital.”
Her smiled faltered a little bit as she nodded. “Yeah. I remember crying like a mad woman as I stared at your body on the ground from up here…”
Her silence after that made him feel bad. He walked closer to her and embraced her from behind, resting his head on her shoulder. “It’s not your fault,” he said.
She didn’t say anything for a long time, but let him sway them both to the rhythm of their heartbeat and steady breath.
“I’m going to be a teacher, soon.”
He smiled and kissed her cheek. “Congratulations, my lady.”
“I can’t believe that I’m coming back to town, but you’re going to fly to Seoul.”
“It’s just for six months; I’m just going to finish my traineeship and I’ll be back to work here.”
“But then no one will stop me if I try to kill my students.”
He laughed but hugged her tighter. “It won’t be that bad…”
She sighed, a puff of white formed in the air, and he couldn’t see her eyes but he knew what it means so he smiled to himself. “I’ll miss you too.”
Two years after the confession.
The woman looked up at the depressed skyline, where white slowly permeated with the lonely blue and then grey and dark. She kicked the pebbles on the road with a disgruntled face, mouth curved upward to an obvious displeased heart.
Then the running footsteps came and she raised her head to glare at the man coming her way. “Before you start to nag at me,” he rubbed his chest, trying to calm his heart beating wild from the run. “I want to tell you that I’m sorry but my lateness will be worth it.”
She raised her brow as to challenge him on whatever it was he claimed to be worth it.
Instead of answering, he offered his hand in which she took almost grudgingly. “What is it?” she asked.
“Let’s go for walk.”
“But I’m tired. The kids came to my house for extra class today and you just texted me to meet up at 5 but you came at 6 now I want nothing but to go home and sleep.”
“But I have something for you.”
“Dae, are you giving me early Christmas present because you’ll be gone on that day?” Christmas should be on two weeks more. And they promised that they’ll go somewhere nice. Because the man has been busy with his work and barely had time for their dates or whatsoever even when by then, they lived so much closer to each other.
“No, no it’s not that, really. We’ll go to that vacation. But I need to give you this thing before that.”
“What?”
The man sighed in defeat, seeing the woman firmed with her decision. And she does looked tired. “Okay, fine.” He rummaged through his backpack, took out a small, black case, and gave it to her.
“What is this?” she asked.
“I want to marry you,” his tone was careless.
And it took one second for Naeun to reply with a “What?”
“I said, I want to marry you,” he took the case from Naeun, opened it and unattached the necklace from its position. When he held it and showed it to the woman, she noticed a white gold ring tangled as the pendant.
She looked annoyed. “Are you for real?”
“Yes I am. I’ve bought a house, though I’m still paying for it but we can move in anytime,” he unlinked the necklace and ready to put it on her. “I’m still collecting money for a car, but by the end of next year, I think we can get one. I know I just started working and still unstable, but I think we’ll get through, as long as you’ll be with me. So will you be with me?”
“But why? Aren’t we just fine like this?” It’s not that she didn’t think about marriage, but it’s just too much of a hassle and they both were still unstable in any aspect. She’d rather focus on her work for the time being but he had a different idea, it seemed.
“Do you really want to hear my reasons? Are you prepared for my cheesy lines? I purposely made this proposal as casual as I can just so you won’t smack my head at the end of it.”
He grimaced at the remembrance of last year’s Valentine ’s Day.
“You have sixty second to make me say yes with your reasons.”
“What the hell?!!”
“Fifty-eight.”
“!”
“Fifty-six.”
“Because I want to sleep with you in my arms and wake up by your side and eat your salty porridge and why you ask? Because marriage will make us official, you know like we will live together by each other’s side come hell or high water. And I want to be a dad and I want you to be the mother and I want a family with you because I can’t imagine anyone else but you. Because you are the only one and”
“Stop. Your sixty second is over.”
….
………
“So?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“What?!! Naeun, you can’t do this to me!”
“What? You want to marry me because you want to sleep with me.”
“That’s not what I mean!”
Three years after the confession.
The sound of the phone that rang on the bedside table made the cover stirred. The man groaned with his eyes closed, nudging the woman beside him to wake up and pick up the call. The woman sighed, but reached for the phone still with her eyes shut tight.
“Hello?” her voice croaked, and the man’s lips curved to an amusing smile as he nuzzled closer to her.
“Yes, Jimin.”
He threw his arms around her waist.
It was dark outside, given that it was at 2 o’clock in the morning. And it was cold, it was always cold so he was glad that he have a personal heater he can call his own.
“No, Jimin. We are on winter break so you don’t have to go to school tomorrow.”
He always wondered how she did it, being patient and talking nicely to the kids considering her temper. Still anyway, she has always been a calm person.
“Yes, no homework for you Jimin. So now, go to sleep because teacher need to sleep too. Can you do that, dear?”
He pulled her closer and kissed her temple, caressing her hair gently. “You never call me dear or whatever word with the same meaning, dear,” he said once she ended the call.
He pushed her chest away, but he only tightened the gap. She groaned in frustration. “Go to sleep, Dae…”
“How old is Jimin?”
At that, she opened her eyes to glare at him, only to meet his eyes staring at her back intently. But she was not weak. “Are you really doing this right now? You have work tomorrow, Dae. Quarreling with me in the middle of the night won’t help you with anything.”
“Okay.”
“Okay. Now, go to sleep.”
“Okay.”
….
“You should put your phone on silent though. That was the third call for this week.”
Four years after marriage.
The woman put the books on the floor as she took her shoes off and the smell of something nice coming from the kitchen made her stomach grumble. “You are back early,” she muttered at the sight of the man in a pink apron holding a knife and onion.
“Welcome home~” he said, smiling wide and blinding.
She walked up to him and gave him a kiss on his cheek before peeking at the broiling pot on the stove. “Ahhh~ I’m hungry.”
“Go and take your shower. I’m almost done.”
“Where’s Hwayoung?”
“On the couch. Sleeping, I guess.”
She patted her shoulder before moving to the living room to see her daughter sleeping so soundly hugging her doll on the couch. “Has she taken her shower yet?”
“Oh. No, not yet. I picked her up early from the nursery so I thought the shower could wait.”
“I’ll just have my shower with her then…” she touched the sleeping kid softly, whispering words to wake her up. “Baby, hey, come on wake up. We need to shower.” The kid didn’t move a finger and she tried again with more force and she groaned just to turn around and go back to sleep.
“See, Dae. She took after you, it’s so hard to wake her up from sleep.”
He didn’t give any response so she tried again. “Hwayoung, wake up. It’s almost night, we need to shower. Come on!”
“I don’t want to shower,” came the children voice, muffled to the cushion.
“It’s not about whether you want it or not, honey. You have to shower. Wake up, now.”
“I said I don’t want to shower, mom.”
She sighed and looked at her husband, asking for help. The man only shrugged from the kitchen. “Well, she took after your stubbornness.”
Eight years after marriage.
The birthday party was nice. Not many people came, just close friends of theirs, and their parents, of course. But the woman still had hard time attending to everyone in between serving foods and talking to the guest. She managed to complained when the married couple were alone in the kitchen.
“We really need to stop throwing birthday parties for our kids,” she slumped to a chair at the counter.
He looked up from the drink he was trying to make to see her pouting. Tiredness obviously written on her face. “Yeah, I think so too.”
“But Minji would make a fuss over it and not to mention Jongin would throw a fit if we don’t celebrate his birthday with a party.”
He nodded and grinned. “Yeah… Fortunately, Hwayoung has grown up and doesn’t give a damn about anything, just like you.”
“Yah! That is not something fortunate! She has started dating and she won’t even listen to me when I talk to her. And she’s only eight!”
“But the boy is good looking. And smart too, he’s on top of the ranking in school.”
“Dae, good look and smart are always deceiving.”
Before the man could ever make a retort to that, Jongin, 5 years old, ran into a kitchen and spoke while panting in between words. “Mom. Uncle Sehun… is drunk… and is picking a fight… with Aunt Jiyeon.”
Both adults sighed. The woman then slipped from her seat and followed her son to the scene. “Why can’t Sehun keep it to himself and where the hell is Himchan? Can’t he take care of her wife?”
12 years after marriage.
The man took a spoon of the porridge and winced at the taste. “Seriously, babe. After all these years and you porridge is still salty.”
He was sick and she had to take a leave because according to him, being sick and alone is sad, and sad is not good because he might get depression and a depressed man can’t go out to earn money for his family. And they need money more than anything else given that all of their kids were in school.
“Shut up and eat, Mr. Chef.”
“Feed me.”
“Eww! Feed yourself, old man!”
“Naeun, feed me…”
“No.”
“Don’t you love me?”
“No.”
“Naeun. You better feed me before I kiss you and spread this fever to you system.”
With that warning, the woman fled out of the room, leaving him alone while mocking a laugh hysterically.
“Naeun!” his voiced was raised an octave. When she heard his running footsteps, she started running downstairs too. And he ran after her, skipping stairs as if he was never sick and he managed to catch her wrist when they reached the first floor. But she pulled back causing them to fall on the flat surface, but he was quick to support himself with his hands and cushioned her head with his palm, not wanting to injure his wife. And Naeun thought, as she stare at the man above her, his brown eyes with pouring love and both gasping for air, that this is fine. They are fine.
He smiled the most dazzling smile before he leaned in closer. Her hands forming fists because even after all those years, he still has that effect on her. “Gotcha.” And she chuckled, because he gave her a chaste kiss, a peck on her lips and they stare at each other again.
They could go on like this maybe forever. There’s always ups and downs, like when they had to squeeze their bank to pay the bills, or when they had to throw pillows at each other when something went wrong, or when he didn’t come home for days because of works, or when their children had some issues at school.
He kissed her temple, down her eyes, down her nose, all innocent and lingering.
There’s this happy, satisfying thing about waking up to your loves and doing something like cooking and laundry for your loves and nagging at your loves and crying for your loves and getting mad and shouting at your loves.
He kissed her smiling lips, a few quick kisses and then he goes into a passionate one that caused her to shudder at the quick pace of their beating hearts (fortunately, the kids have gone to school).
It’s all life but there’s something about it when you are with your love ones, everything seems worth looking forward to and no matter how tiring and heartbreaking whatever is, there’s always this warm feeling of happiness when you hold their hands and see their smiles as you go through your everyday life.
“I’m going to get your fever,” once they broke the kisses. But he proceeded on kissing her jaw, down her neck so he pushed him up and he grinned when their eyes met again.
“Please…?” he purposely blinked his eyes few times to look like a cute puppy.
And Naeun thought, that this is fine. They are fine.
She sighed but pulled him over, throwing arms around his neck and kissed him back.
“Want to know something?”
“What?”
“You are my first love when I was seven.”
“Really?”
-END-
There. Take those cheesiness and I'm sorry that this took a long long time to write.
This is the end, and I hope you smile and be happy with it mmuahaha.
Thank you for being with me through all these, I've said this countless time but really, thank you for reading.
And commenting. And upvoting.
Especially you, 1fulalice and you too, koala_panda.
Now I'll be gone. So take care~!
p/s : My last gift~ XD
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