Yes. This is the final chapter.

---

 

 

The shot was from one of the police officer whom just arrived at the scene. It hit the man that held Luhan and one shot was all it takes for his eyes to go wide as his soul was ripped apart from his fleshes and bones.

 

Two splashes into the water and that was enough to give Naeun the strength to elbow her captures causing the men to retort back few steps away from her before she too, jumped into the water.

 

“ !” She cursed out loud, tears streamed down her eyes like a heavy rainfall.

 

Daehyun watched her in panic, his eyes widen as she ran into the water. His heart skipped a few beats he thought he was dying if it’s not for Youngjae’s arm that tightened around him, as if holding his soul bounds still to the earth. He damned himself for being so helpless with his leg still in crutches as . Save her, he wanted to yell because that split seconds felt like eternity, as if the clock has stop to tick and has pause for him to suffer with the scene. His voice stuck at his throat, only his mouth parted without words to spill.

 

It was Himchan and Yongguk that ran forward, following after the splashes and Daehyun holds his breath. Save them please, he begged silently.

 

Polices ran after the man that Naeun knocked down when he tried to run away. Few other polices and pediatrics ran to the jetty.

 

Then he looked around, at the flashing light of blue and red in the darkness of the night. His friends that came with him when he called them because he doesn’t know what to do, and Jiyeon that tagged along, all eyes and attention to the havoc that’s happening in the water.

 

His head is throbbing as if someone is pounding hard on his skull and he hated it because it hurt so damn much. His aching chest does not help much either, suffocating him with the images of Naeun that turned away from him for the other man. she can’t even swim what was she thinking? He never expected to see her there, vulnerable and in mess, with Luhan. He came to save Luhan what is she doing with him? He thought she doesn’t know anything about this, he even warned his friends not to tell her what happened to Luhan. What the Naeun...

 

 

______

 

 

Youngjae manages to pull Naeun back up to the jetty first though it took him a lot of strength because she struggled to get away so hard that he had to use force on her. When she got up, she cries in between coughs as she tries to breathe properly with her panic, uttering meaningless words and making incoherent noises. “Calm down, Naeun. Yongguk will save him.”

 

And with that Yongguk appears, trying to lift the unconscious Luhan up from the water, getting helps from polices that just arrived. The pediatrics throws towels to Youngjae and Naeun because it’s a ing cold night and they jumped into the water. But Naeun pays no heed and she’s back on her knee to Luhan, looking all paranoid and only Luhan’s name comes out from her heavy breath. “Luhan, hang on!”

 

“Don’t you dare die on me, Lu Pleasee” she sobs as she clings to his soaked shirt, crawling to the ground to hold her tears, to gasp in despair as she regrets all the things, everything that she has done that hurt him.

 

The pediatrics however was quick to separate them as they place Luhan onto the strecther and carries him away, causing her to cry harder.

 

He’s too unconscious to hear her.

 

And soon the sounds of her wailing died down too.

 

 

______

 

 

 

She wakes up to the warmth and weight on her right hand. When she braves herself to pry her eyes open completely, it is that familiar worried face that she meets first. “Hey,” he said, not at all smiling. Only bad, negative things that reflects in his eyes. She starts to feel her chest tightens again.

 

“I want to see him,” she says, ignoring his greeting, ignoring his obvious painful look that he gave, ignoring every ing questions and answers that plays in her mind. Her voice is hoarse, and ache when she speaks but “I want to see him,” she repeats, more desperate than the first one.

 

His hand comes up, wiping the welling tears that she doesn’t know was there, instead of answering her request or says anything. His eyes speaks better but she refuses to read. “Please… take me to him please”

 

He grits his teeth as his fingers curl, forming a fist. He wants to be mad. He wants to yell at the world for taking her away. He wants to be mad at her for breaking her promises. His heart is broken and tattered too, and he wants to kill her for choosing to be blind to it.

 

But he loves her way too much now and he hates himself for it.

 

She pleads but he only hands her a letter before he turns away from her, taking his hand to himself and painfully walks out of her ward with a heavy silence.             

 

 

______

 

 

Hey, Dear (oh how I love to call you that and I’m gonna miss it).

 

I’m bad at words okay, though I sounds like a Romeo sometimes, but I’m not. Well, I always fail when it’s you, so forgive me for all the stupid cheesiness I have for you.

 

I can’t write long, though I want too. It’s just… my strength won’t let me have my way, but hey I really need to say this to you before I… die go away so... Uhmm… uh yeah so I heard your confession yesterday but I didn’t really answer you properly with words, well a kiss speaks louder than words, I guess. But I love you too. I love you so much Naeun dear you have no idea and I love you and I love you and I love you. If I knew better back then, I would never let you go and I would have you…

 

There are some patches that blurred some of the words, and Naeun cries when she realizes that he cried while writing the letter.

 

Please don’t cry. Please don’t make your life miserable and live happily. Please eat properly and get enough sleep. Please take care of your health and don’t get sick. Please live and grow old for me. Please find someone better than me. My last wish is for you to be happy, okay. Please do that for me.

 

Love,

Lu.

 

And she continues to cry silently, hugging the letter close, hugging what’s left of him. It hits her with a pang, how she’s already missing him, and no matter how much she cry she won’t be able to see him. Not anymore.

 

He’s gone.

 

Forever.

 

 

_______

 

 

The funeral is attended by many authorities she doesn’t know, Jiyeon decides, when she looks around at the visitors that comes, all wearing black and proud frontage. One thing for sure is that they are from powerful organization or wealthy family and even some of them are politicians, considering the influence that his father have.

 

It’s not like they know him in personal for them to say sorry for the loss, and it makes Jiyeon sick to see the women that faked their tears in front of his parents then smirked at their back. Many will be benefitted from his death.

 

“Himchan, can we go now?” Jiyeon tugs at his boyfriend’s sleeve. Himchan looks down at her, making apologetic face and he pulls her closer, putting his hand on her waist. “I’m sorry dear, but we’re still waiting for them.”

 

“They won’t come. At least she told me firmly she won’t come when I called her…” she sighs.

 

Himchan waved lazily at Yongguk and Youngjae who caught his signal and are running towards the couple with sullen faces as they shook their head disappointedly. This time Zelo and Jongup sigh with her. “Looks like he’s not coming either…”

 

 

 

______

 

 

 

Knock, Knock.

 

“Mother, I’ll eat later. I need to finish this essay first,” she shouted, not looking up from her book.

 

“You shouldn’t skip your dinner, dear. I don’t want to hug bones, you’ll be too vulnerable and I’ll have to worry about not breaking you apart...”

 

She raised her head to the closed door to that familiar voice. She quickly ran to open the door just to meet that familiar grin. “Lu, what are you doing here?” she said, half whispered as she pulled him inside and closed the door behind her. Her panic look amused him. “Mother asked me to bring you dinner~” he showed her the tray filled with dinner in his hands.

 

She glared at him incredulously and wanted to start a war with him but she realized that her window were opened so she rushed to the window and closed them before she pulled the curtain so that her neighbor could have a very limited view to her room. “Damn Lu, what were you thinking? What if he sees us?”

 

He shrugged before he placed the tray on her table. “Well, you’ve taken care of that. He won’t be able to see us now.”

 

“Where did you parked your car? You didn’t parked in front of my house, did you?”

 

Luhan slowly closed the distance between them before he gently touched her shoulder in reassurance. “I’m not that eager to die, Naeun. I won’t do something stupid like that. Calm down, okay. I walked.”

 

Naeun’s brows knitted together, eye widened as she threw him ridiculous look. “Why would you do that? Why did you walk?”

 

“Well, you walked to my house once. It’s not a big deal. Besides…” he paused to grin evilly before he pulled her into his embrace, enveloping her in his arms. “I missed youuu~” She rolled her eyes to his silly reason. Then she pushed him away.

 

“Enough, enough. I have an essay to finish. You can go home now that you’ve seen me”

 

Luhan pouted. “But I just cameeee”

 

“I know. But I need to finish this thing. Have you finished it, by the way?”

 

He smiled as he shook his head happily. “I’ll be absent tomorrow. Dad has arranged another business trip for me so I’ll be away.”

 

“Aww this is not fairrr!” she said, but she doesn’t know whether she was mad because he doesn’t need to do the homework or because she won’t see him tomorrow.

 

He ignored her little whine and took the tray back in his right hand and pulled her with his free hand so that she sat beside him. “How about you do your essay, and I feed you? So you can do both your essay and eat your dinner at the same time,” he wriggled his brow, trying to persuade you to his brilliant idea.

 

“Ha. Ha. Funny Lu. I’m big enough to eat on my own, thank you”

 

But he offered to feed her anyway, taking the spoon and filled them with rice and a small slice of chicken, “Say aaah.”

 

She glared at him for few seconds, contemplating with herself, but she gave up in the end and eat anyway. He’s just finding reasons to be with her, she knew. “How my mother can let you come up to my room, if I may ask my prince?” she asked once she finished.

 

He smiled happily. “Naeun, you are dating a charmer, if I may remind you. Of course I have my ways…”

 

She shook her head as she rolled her eyes. “Now, can you leave? I can’t finish this essay if you stay with me…”

 

“I can help”

 

“No, your presence is not helping. You’re such a distraction, go home”

 

“You really want me to go?”

 

“Yes”

 

“Really?”

 

“Hundred percent sure, yes. Be gone, Lu”

 

“Will you miss me when I’m gone?”

 

She looked at him, not answering, but eyes telling more that she could. He smiled softly, gentle and proud, before he leaned closer, diminishing the gap and kissed her temple tenderly, hand caressing her face and she leaned to the touch.

 

“I’ll miss you too.”

 

 

_________

 

 

 

Knock, knock.

 

Silence.

 

“Naeun, we’re going to the funeral. Are you coming with us?”

 

Silence.

 

Mrs. Son looked at her husband worriedly. He gave out a sigh, strengthened his grip on her hand, hoping to at least lessen his wife’s worries. Naeun may not be his biological daughter, but she has been a good one. She accepted him when they told her that he’s going to marry her mother once the divorce case is done. She accepted their marriage even when he knows that she still struggling inside to get over the consequences of those late night fights and the divorce.

 

“Naeun, your mother left some food at the kitchen, make sure you eat something okay”

 

And when they once again being ignored, they gave up. They’ve been trying all night but she refused to go out of her room. They got a call during midnight, telling her daughter was hospitalized. When they reached there, they saw some of her friends and Mrs. Son quickly asked Daehyun when she recognized him.

 

Daehyun looked tired and weary as he told them what happened and not long after that, a nurse came to find him, telling something about Luhan before he and the other friends rushed to follow the nurse.

 

Fortunately Naeun’s fine. Daehyun told that they managed to find them by tracking Luhan’s phone in the kidnappers’ possession. She just have minor injuries and unconscious due to the shock. But Luhan… from what they heard from Daehyun, he’s not in a good condition. He was badly injured.

 

Mrs. Son remembers him as one of Naeun’s friend, a special one, he said himself. He quickly become one of her favorite friend too, polite with his words and fun with his humor. A bright kid whom she wished could stay and heal some of her daughter’s scars that she created.

 

But later she found out that her wish will never be completed.

 

He can’t stay.

 

He must go.

 

 

________

 

 

 

[Say something I’m giving up on you

I’ll be the one if you want me to

 

Two weeks after he goes, Naeun came with Daehyun, entering the cemetery, crossing the graves as they walked slowly hand in hand with Daehyun lead. She only looked down to her walking feet, being dragged roughly because Daehyun insisted. “You can’t live like this! You’re neglecting yourself. You’re ignoring all his last wishes, Naeun. Doing this won’t bring him back. Wake up!”

 

It’s not that she’s moping in her room all day. She goes to school. She eats properly. She’s not getting enough sleep, maybe but it’s not her fault that every time she closes her eyes he becomes her dreams and nightmares all together and she ends up waking up panting and out of breath. But she’s living fine. She thinks. Until Daehyun came that morning and yell at her to stop living like a living dead.

 

Before she realized it, they came to a halt and they stood before his grave. His name carved beautifully on the stone. It surprised her that there was no tears b her eyes though the ache in her chest is back again. She stared at the name then closed her eyes when Daehyun let her hand go and walked away.

 

And anywhere I would’ve followed you

Say something I’m giving up on you]

 

“Hey Lu,” she paused, holding back her choked tears. It felt like it has been so long since she last speak of his name that way, it sounded distant yet bittersweet, and she imagined him smiling sweetly when she called him that.

 

She smiled back, in between muffled sobs and closed eyes.

 

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to come to meet you. I just… coming here means letting you go, and I don’t want to let you go yet”

 

So much for holding in…

 

“ I miss you, are you happy now?”

 

She let the tears flow…

 

“The hell. You make me love you just to leave me like this, thank you ing bastard”

 

“You should have fight. For your life. For me. Or am I not worth it?” she wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

 

[And I stumble and fall

I’m still learning to love

I’m starting to crawl]

 

“I’m sorry for not treating you better when we were together”

 

“I’m sorry that I’m such a girl who doesn’t even know how to love and doubting her own love, I gave you hard times and you still love me I just…”

 

“I’m sorry for all the confessions I couldn’t tell you, for all the words that left unsaid, for the harsh words you had to take”

 

“And thank you for everything. For your endless love, for you patients, for your sweet words, for being you”

 

[And I swallow my pride

You’re the one that I love

I’m saying goodbye]

 

“I love you too, Lu. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I’m sorry it took so long for me to really realize that, for denying it, for holding in…”

 

“I love you…”

 

[Say something I’m giving up on you

I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you

 

“Can’t you come back? I’ll do better, I promise”

 

Silence answered her question and she crawled down, hugging her knees and cried again.

 

And anywhere I would’ve followed you

Say something I’m giving up on you.]

 

 

_________

 

 

 

Few months later, they graduated from high school. All of them. Everyone seemed to have moved on from that day. Daehyun was kept busy catching up with all the subjects he missed during his absence. He only came back few times to his own house, most of the days he stayed at his mother’s place because she insisted that he have private tutoring to pass the entrance exam.

 

And when he do come home, he didn’t climb up the window. Her window was kept closed all the time, and he didn’t want to force her on anything, afraid that she’ll get broken even more.

 

All of his friends moved on with their life too. Luhan’s death seemed to affect them unknowingly. They used to bully him, not caring about the world or his life or their own life. So used to it that when they saw him dying with their own eyes, they regretted every kick and every punch.

 

Luhan had a future and he was striving for it. But what can he do when death comes and invites him to go? What guarantee does one have that they will still live for tomorrow? Then they realized that they’ve been wasting their life away too much.

 

They live for better life, maybe trying to compensate for what they’ve done to him, lead themselves to better future, in place of Luhan’s bright one.

 

And Daehyun is getting well with his complexities and anxieties. He’s eating his medicine properly, forcing himself to try to adapt with Naeun’s absence. He knows why back then he couldn’t recover from his nightmare. It was because he doesn’t want to. Because he wanted to keep Naeun in his possession. He was being stubborn and selfish.

 

That is why he lost her anyway.

 

They are still best friend, something that he thinks won’t break for thousand years. They still talk, sometimes they walk together, at times he just crash into her room to check on her and have some old time best friend moments.

 

She did not avoid him. She still talks. Sometimes she smiles. At times she laughs. But her eyes is dead and there lack of sincerity when she do. She’s not his Naeun anymore no matter what he do.

 

He lost her.

 

And destiny finally forced them to separate their ways when they ended up to different university. She smiled when they bid their final goodbyes. A genuine smile though still lack of that light in her eyes after a long time. And that was enough, he thought. It’s a progress. She’ll be fine. She just needs time.

 

“Don’t miss me, Dae…” she teased.

 

“Huh, you’re the who’s gonna miss me, just see”

 

They were at the airport, he came with her family to send her. Jiyeon was there too. Jiyeon was the only one she accepts by her side after Luhan’s death. They’ve grown closer as time passes by, though it was short. But Jiyeon was the one who yelled to make sure she eats and sleeps properly. Jiyeon was the one who held her when at times she breaks into a crying mess. Jiyeon was the one who bought her ice cream when she’s feeling down because she said she wanted one.

 

“Enough of the drama, just go” Jiyeon crossed her arms, looking annoyed at them.

 

Naeun took her hand then, “Thank you, Jiyeon-ah. I’ve never imagine, not even once in my life that we will end up like this, so thank you… really”

 

Jiyeon sighed before she hugged her friend. “Just please take care of yourself, okay. I won’t be there for you and this brat,” she lightly punched Daehyun’s chest, “won’t be there to take care of you either so…”

 

“I know, I know…” Naeun let go of Jiyeon before she turned to her mother.

 

“Mother… I… I’ve been a bad daughter, I’m sorry that I make you worry too much. I’ll take care of myelf,” she smiled when her mother smiled. No she didn’t cry. But she might be bawling her eyes out once she got home, father told her once that she’s that kind of a mother. A mother who likes to pretend to be strong when they really are weak honestly. Maybe her mother had enough crying in front of her when she was child and still feels guilty about it. And for that, she’s glad that father’s with her, though he’s not her real father.

 

“Please take care of her,” Naeun said, as a goodbye to her father. He pulled her mother closer to him and smiled, “Don’t worry, I will…”

 

After she finally satisfied, she turned around after saying her last goodbye and waved them away with a smile.

 

“Say hello to Seoul!”

 

She laughed to Jiyeon’s shout. Who knows that cold daughter of a yakuza family have that side of her? Well, Himchan probably know.

 

‘Hey, Lu. Are you watching me? I’m living fine. I’m getting better. You can go find another girl in that place, wherever you are. I miss you’.

 

 

-FINISHED-

 

A/N