Minho never had those ‘kind of feelings’ for a girl in his years of existence.  That was a fact. Minho never kissed a girl before. That was also a fact. Minho never dated a girl in his life. That was the last sad fact of his love life.

         It wasn’t that he hated girls. He just never really was interested in them. As a growing child, his childhood was only full of memories of lots of food, games, soccer, basketball, and a bunch of other sports. At that time, he and his group of best buddies agreed to never go near the girls in their life. Why? Because they had cooties.

         Minho wasn’t upset when he realized he was the only one that stuck to their code. When it was time to go to middle school, all of his friends forgot about their pact. He wasn’t upset, he would always think whenever his friends brought their girlfriends when they all hung out. He was disappointed, yes, but he was still happy that they still didn’t lose interest in sports.

         Minho was always asked out by girls. One reason was because he was popular. He was popular, but he didn’t even know it. Another reason was because he was so good at sports. Many boys were jealous of his skills. The third reason was because he was handsome. They were all pretty, but stupid because they had asked him out even though they probably knew about his reputation of not dating girls, no matter how popular or cool they were.

         He was clueless when it came to girls. That was probably the only thing he wasn’t good at: girls. He was never aware of the fact that he impressed girls by his rapping skills and competitive-ness. When he wore clothes as simple as a white shirt and baggy pants, he didn’t know that girls totally loved that kind of style. Friends made fun of him but he didn’t care. ‘My soccer ball is my girlfriend’. That was what he always said, causing everyone to burst out into laughter.

         “Who’s she?” Minho had asked one day, dribbling the basketball with ease. His stare flickered from his friend to the pretty girl in front of him. His friend had coughed loudly.

         “She’s the one I’ve been telling you about for weeks. I think she’ll be a good match with you. You guys should date.”

         “Date?” Minho blinked. “Why? Dating isn’t fun. It’s weird.”

         “Yo, dude. Isn’t she hot? You’re always doing sports. You should just go out with someone, it’s fun-“

         “-Is there something wrong with your eyes?” Minho had interrupted his friend, pointing at the bewildered girl. He hadn’t meant it to sound rude; he was genuinely curious. Minho had furrowed his brows in confusion.

         “E-excuse me?”

         “Your eyes,” Minho bounced the ball once on the dusty ground and easily picked it up with one hand. “Why are you blinking so much? Is there something in your eyes that’s bothering you?”

         “Hey-“

         “Isn’t it so uncomfortable to paint your lips with gloss? That’s gross.” Minho squinted and had watched as the girl huffed loudly and turned around to walk away, hips purposely swaying.

         “Dude,” his friend had whined, a clearly frustrated look on his face. “You made her mad. And she was really into you. No? God, fine, I’ll have her then.”

         As his friend turned around to chase after the girl, Minho had just shrugged and went back to playing basketball alone on the court.

-

         “She’s hot.”

         Years later, Minho found himself surrounded by more girls than back in middle school. But this time, the girls were practically caked with makeup and wore clothes that showed off their slim figures. Hairs always made up to impress, smile always ready for cameras, Minho didn’t hate the girl groups, but he just found himself not being impressed with the girls that swarmed around him. Of course, it was different with other boys.

         “She’s hotttttt,” Jonghyun said again, louder. Minho had blinked, and had looked around with a confused look.

         “Who?”

         “Dude, how can you not see? Her.” Jonghyun had pointed at a tall figure across from them. She was getting her makeup done, but Minho could still clearly see her face.

         “Yuri? You always say that.”

         “But she looks hotter today,” Jonghyun had replied, a smile creeping up on his face. “Dude, she’s gorgeous.”

         Minho had to admit, she was very pretty. A slim figure, long hair, and a beautiful face, Yuri was indeed gorgeous. But Minho didn’t like her. For a reason Minho couldn’t explain, she annoyed him. She didn’t do anything to him; they rarely talked for more than five minutes. But, Minho couldn’t imagine ever liking her.

         “She’s alright, I guess,” Minho had shrugged, fixing his hair. Jonghyun had shoved him lightly, laughing.

         “Every girl is just alright to you, bro,” Jonghyun had said. “You’re gonna die alone, if you keep this anti-girl thing up. C’mon, let’s go now, it’s our turn to perform.”

-

         When Krystal was young, she had a lot to learn, according to her sister. Jessica had insisted on teaching everything about relationships to her younger sister, happy to pass on her skill and knowledge so her sister could do well once she started school.

         And Jessica taught Krystal well. Once she entered elementary school, she was aware that she was like the princess of the school. Boys always fought for her, and she had a wide group of friends. Confessions happened like a daily basis, what could you do? Elementary school was full of puppy love and secret crushes.

         “Will you go out with me?”

         A boy had dragged Krystal to the small playground, and Krystal smiled smugly as the boy faced her.

         “Jung Soojung, I like you, will you go out with me?”

         “And, who are you? Oh wait, you’re the new kid right?”

         “Yeah.”

         “Then, no.”

         The boy blinked. Krystal blinked back.

         “So, you won’t go out with me?” The boy continued to look at Krystal, and Krystal fidgeted for some reason.

         “I won’t go out with you,” Krystal smiled. “Sorry.”

         The boy was silent for a while, but then just shrugged, putting on a cheery smile. Krystal was surprised; this wasn’t the outcome she was looking forward to.

         “Okay, then,” the boy stuck out his hands. “Then we’ll be friends.”

         “Friends?” Krystal spluttered, flipping her hair. “Who said we’d be friends?”

         “I did,” the boy grinned cheekily at Krystal and Krystal felt a smile tugging her lips up. “I’m Hyungsun. Park Hyungsun. We’ll be best friends, I just know it.”

-

         Krystal loved Hyungsun. She truly did. He was a best friend to her, and she was a best friend to him, but Krystal would always find herself imagining their future, a future they could share together. Park Soojung. She liked the sound of that.

         She still continued to like him even though she knew that he had a crush on Jessica. He had told her one time, while they were playing in Krystal’s backyard. But Krystal always had one thing that would assure her that it was nothing. He had given her a ring. He hadn’t given Jessica a ring. That must mean something right?

         One day, Krystal received a phone call from him. That day, it was so hot, so sunny, that Krystal felt grumpy. But, when her mom called her to pick up the phone because it was Hyungsun, she had cheered up.

         “Hello?”

         “Soojung! Let’s go have a water fight!”

         “A water fight? That sounds like fun, where?”

         “At the playground. Bring your water gun, and I’ll bring mine. Won’t it be fun? It’ll be super-duper fun.”

         Krystal had laughed at his hyper-ness.

         “Alright, but I’m gonna win, you know that right?”

         “Oh, I didn’t know that. Because I’m going to win, er.”

         “You’re a er.”

         "No, you are.”

         “You are.”

         Krystal had giggled and looked around, trying to remember where she put her water gun. She smiled.

         “Ah, whatever, I’m the er then. Soojung, I’ll see you soon, okay?”

         “Okay.”

         “Be careful when you’re going to the playground.”

         “Okay.”

         “Be safe.”

         “Okay.”

         “Bye.”

         “Bye.”

         Krystal hung up. She was happy. She always liked it when Hyungsun became serious. He was always cheerful and happy and never worried, but whenever they ended calls, he always ended it with a serious tone, always telling her to be safe.

         She loved him. He loved her. She was happy. He was happy. Everything was perfect and Krystal just felt so relieved that she had someone like him in her life.

-

         He never came back home.

         Both incredibly exhausted and wet from water, they decided to go back home, agreeing that no one really won in their water fight. Krystal had stuck her tongue out at him and he had laughed. Before departing in opposite directions to their houses, he had run up to her and hugged her.

         It was nothing really special, that hug. They had hugged so many times before, that they lost count. Krystal had just happily hugged back, not realizing how special it was. If she had known what would happen, she would have clutched onto his shirt and never let go.

         When Krystal came home, everything was fine. After she showered, everything was still normal, nothing seemed wrong.

         The family received a phone call, at around 12:30 in the morning. Yawning, her mom had answered it, greeted by a hectic and worried mother of Hyungsun.

         Krystal was awoken by the sounds of her mother’s worried voice, and she had trudged outside of her room, eyes half-closed, sleep making her drowsy.

         “Soojung-ah, where’s Hyungsun? Did he go to a friend’s house after you played with him?” Her mom looked at her worriedly. At that moment, Krystal’s eyes snapped open and she felt her heart thud.

         “No, he went straight home, after we played,” Krystal’s voice trembled. “We both did.”

         Her mother frowned, and had put he phone back against her ear.

         “Soojung says that he went straight home,” Krystal had heard her mother murmur quietly. She closed her eyes.

         “Did something happen? Is he not home?” Krystal’s voice was cracked.

         “No, no,” her mother had responded, but Krystal knew that she was lying, judging from the way her mother’s eyes flickered and how she didn’t look straight at her eyes. “Nothing’s wrong.”

         “Something is wrong,” Krystal had felt her heart thud more and she mentally told it to calm down. “Where is he?”

         “I don’t know, darling,” her mother had mumbled, and Krystal had felt her hands trembling and knees shaking.

         Without another word, Krystal raced down the stairs, ignoring her mother’s shouts and calls. Her shaking hands didn’t help with unlocking the front door, and she fumbled messily with the doorknob. As soon as she opened the door, she ran out, the night humid and cool. So many thoughts pounded in her head that it was impossible to think straight.

         “Hyungsun! Hyungsun! Hyungsun!” The only thing that Krystal could shout was his name. She screamed and yelled his name until she was sure that the whole town could possibly hear. If Hyungsun heard her voice, he would call back, and it’d all be all right, she thought.

         Krystal didn’t understand. She didn’t understand at all. The more she searched for him, the more anxious she got. He wasn’t at the arcade, he wasn’t at the market, and he wasn’t anywhere. She whimpered in the dark, goose bumps traveling up her arms. She didn’t like this feeling she got in the pit of her stomach.

         She went back home after three hours of searching. Her body was tired and her shoulders were sagging. But she didn’t sleep. Krystal stayed up the whole night, along with her parents, and continued to wait for any news about Hyungsun.

-

         Krystal was only 9 at that time. Two years, that was how long Hyungsun had been a part of her life. Two years. It wasn’t enough for Krystal; it wasn’t even close to the amount of years she wanted to spend with him.

        At the age of 9, Krystal experienced something too bizarre to even comprehend. She experienced losing someone she truly loved, her best friend, her Hyungsun. Just like that, he wasn’t at her side anymore, and she wasn’t at his.

        The next day after his disappearance, he was found dead. ‘Hit-and-run’, that’s what Krystal heard from her parents when they were talking or on the phone. After eavesdropping enough, she had learned enough facts about his death. It scared her how he had died, how he was found. She was only 9 at that time, and to go through pain like this, her parents were worried.

         As days passed, constant memories of Hyungsun lingered in her mind. He was the only thing she thought about. But, at the same time, she knew how worried she was making her parents. They would always look at her anxiously, and treat her so delicately. They were careful with words, and always kept an eye on her. They would look as if they would burst out into tears as well when Krystal would cry about him. So she decided, she would pretend to forget about him. She would pretend to move on.

         And Krystal did. As she grew older, the death of Hyungsun became a somewhat distant memory in her mind. But, whenever she felt like she was lonely or tired or frustrated, his bright and cheery face would pop up and Krystal felt better. It was as if she had just erased the part of his life that he died. In a way, he was still considered alive to her.

         When Krystal became old enough, she joined her sister and became a trainee in SM. In the first few months, when she needed comfort from the tiring life of a trainee, she thought of him and how he would cheer her on, and that was enough for her to get up and try again. But as she stayed as a trainee longer, Krystal didn’t think about him. She wanted to concentrate fully on training, and the only way she could fulfill that goal was by doing just that.

         So she did. She forgot all about him.

A/N : i haven't updated for a while because i didn't have internet connection for like five days or something. OTL. anyways, yey, long chapter.