Not even you, my soulmate, will understand...

I want to see the truth…

You are an idiot Yoochun…

Dear Jae? What is that? Since when you called me like that?

I am answering your stupid letters because I´m tired of receiving them.

I don’t even know why I´m loosing the only time I have to be alone without those $&#$ prisoners.

 

But…FINE you freaking win as always….

I know you are living outside a happy life.

I bet you bought the car you wanted and the clothes you saw in the best stores of the country.

 

BUT…why are you loosing your time sending me letters?

Am I still your brother? Not because of Odette, but because you have seriously forgiven me…

 

Chun….can I still call you like this?
Sorry for destroying your happiness….

I know we were the most important people in your life…

 

Idiot! You are making me cry even if I don’t want to….

Now I look like a crying baby!....

But I know you are the only person who I can share my tears with.

Odette never saw me cry…even when her tears ripped my heart….

And you win again…I will answer your stupid questions,

but I bet you won´t understand a bit of my mind Chun.

 

I´m more complex that our math book and physics book together…

Not even you, my soulmate, will understand…

 

I´m glad you visited her grave…I bet she was waiting for you more than me.

Because the look on her face when she saw me pointing the gun at her is something

that is going to hunt me forever.

I´m happy that you didn’t saw that face and that you remember her as the beautiful girl she was.

Odette is our sister Chun….and I still treasure her like that…

 

Then why did I kill her if I loved her?...funny question Chun…

 

As I meant to kill her….Why would I have killed her if I loved her?

 

Odette killed herself….

 

After the shock of seeing me there drunk and with a gun,

she asked me what was happening with me.

 

Did you know I had a full conversation with her before the shot?

For the first time after all those years we were alone… only her and me.

NOT YOU!...you weren’t anywhere. And you know? She didn’t care…

She was happy you weren’t there…she didn’t call your name asking for help…

not even once...

She just accepted her love for you…and I told her I would kill you…

 

Why didn’t I killed you instead?….No…

don´t think I killed her because she knew that I wanted to kill you….

As I told you before, she killed herself…

 

But I wouldn’t have killed you…..ever….

I love you Chun….I always did…you are my brother…..

I would have never forgiven myself if I killed you.

Then how can I continue living after shooting at her? You may ask….

But this is because…

Because I didn’t mean to kill her.

 

You weren’t an obstacle for my love….she was….

She loved you they way I loved her…..but you loved us the same way…

So don´t believe that I would have killed you even if I told her that…

 

And I did think about her future.

She was born to be a star.

And that bullet didn’t mean to leave that gun.

Believe me Chun….even if I was drunk….I didn’t want that to happen.

 

What have I won from killing her?

Well, apart from your stupid letters that made me cry….

And living in jail…

Well….

This is a thought question, you know…?

Because as I told you before I didn’t want to destroy your happiness…

And she felt the same…

 

And before I tell you a secret… let me answer…

I have won her happiness…because that is the only thing I could do for her,

because I would have never forced her to stay with me when she didn’t want to…

I just wanted her to be happy….

 

Shhh…I know you won´t understand…but…

I will visit her very soon and we will be waiting for you…

I know she wants you to take your time….and she wants you to be happy.

Because she had made me shoot two bullets…

One….that night….the other….

 

Bye Chun, I love you brother…Jae…

.........................................................................................

(A/N) Thanks for the comments!

I hope you liked the chapter....

I guess you know what Jae decided to do,no?

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Comments

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tanyaav #1
Chapter 6: Awwww, this is so sad but it is a really beautiful story! I hope that you make a sequel about what really happened. Keep updating!!!
mitralisa #2
very very good. tanx for this fic.
m0zarts0nata-- #3
oh my TT^TT
gofanfic
#4
oh my god! did jae shot himself? gaaaaah!<br />
why so sad? ;______;<br />
many unanswered questions everywhere!!!
ohmyjae
#5
it's sad but it's such a beautiful story...<br />
<br />
d(^____^)b
intoxicatedbyjae
#6
beautiful.
rainyfriday
#7
Jaejoong, I kinda used to hate him because well, he was just toopretty, but I guess that's part of his charm eh?<br />
Yes! Jae~ I KNEW you couldn't have done that, just misunderstood, and confused about love, love, such a weird thin, makes the world go round... and it also made yoochun's world go round, right?
lyricallies
#8
aww...thats a cool mysterious story^^~~its good^^
LOU1212
#9
THIS JUST SAD. SO MANY QUESTION LEFT UNANSWERED.
rainyfriday
#10
No!!! is jaejoong going to kill himself?<br />
yes, yoochun does seem like a nice brother, trying to help jaejoong out and all...<br />
If jaejoong does kill himself, then I guess yoochun will be like one of the crazy poor people on the street, always drunk because they've lost everything...<br />
You kept me smiling and crying at the same time with this chapter, good job!