SEHUN POV:

Basically we spent the summer just lying out in the sun. Just me and him, my best friend, my boyfriend, my beautiful angel.

My Luhan.

That beautiful boy with chocolate brown hair and a smile that lit up my whole world. Everywhere he went he would shine out, not just because of his appearance, but because of his bubbly personality and his outstanding social skills.

That day we were in the meadow casually laying on our backs next to each other, enjoying the way the sun was shining and the light breeze was tickling our skin. I finished high school and Luhan finished his second year in college, summer had just begun.

“Sehun, use your cappy, you don’t want to get a sunburn do you?”, Luhan nagged and slapped my face with his white snapback, just when I was about to drift off to dreamland.

Anytime he pronounced my name my soul was filled with joy. Since he was older he felt he had the responsibility to take care of me, but usually it always ended up the other way round. Although I must admit, he does his job very well too.

“The sun isn’t that strong yet”, I mumbled.

“But your skin is sensitive”, Luhan turned around to my side and threw a leg around mine as his fingers danced on the skin of my upper arm, “do it for me.”

Even when the sun was dazzling me I couldn’t resist to look up into Luhans delicate face, his doe eyes shining with anticipation. Even when he was trying to be serious he just looked so adorable and cute.

“Okay”, I answered and pulled him closer, so he was actually laying on top of me. Luhan whined when my hands held him in place firmly and he couldn’t roll down. The tip of his perfect little button nose touched mine.

And I could feel his heartbeat.

“I said put your cappy on, not pull me closer”, Luhan laughed and pecked my lips, “you’ve been so silent the whole day already. Sehun, what’s bothering you?”

There were a thousand reasons I loved Luhan but one of them was that he always knew when I wasn’t feeling well. People always told me I would have difficulties finding a job later with that grumpy face of mine, but Luhan said that wasn’t true, he said I smiled often.

He was the reason I smiled brightly.

“I’m just… afraid of the future. Unlike you, I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I’m afraid I won’t make it into the same college as you.”

“So that’s what has been bothering you”, Luhan smiled and gently pulled some of my light brown hair out of my eyes, “you don’t have to be afraid. I told you we will make it together, okay?”

With Luhan I was able to forget all my cares and worries, and I felt like I was able to do anything. Luhan and I knew each other since kindergarten, we were neighbours and best friends, and we experienced our first love together when we were older.

However, even if we both loved to have Bubble tea on our dates and we loved to sleep over at each other places, there was one thing Luhan had always been sure about.

Luhan was determined to become a singer.

And I envied him. He had a dream to hold on to, he had a beautiful voice and talent too. There was just a tiny bit of luck missing to make it big, and I believed that day would someday come. Maybe he wouldn’t live an idols life, but I am sure he would do something associated with music sooner or later.

Sometimes I was becoming a bit selfish at the thought that someone else would hear Luhans beautiful voice.

Not really satisfied with Luhans answer I turned my head to the side. Of course it was easy for him to say that when he had already painted his future in bright colours.

“Come on Sehun-ah, when I say it’s going to be okay, then it definitely will be okay”, Luhan grabbed my neck and turned my head straight again so he could face me, his finger caressing my cheeks made a shiver run down my spine.

I was about to nod but Luhan already pressed his lips against mine and so I closed my eyes. He tasted like vanilla ice cream and cherries and just like summer. He nibbled on my upper lip and I slowly began to move my lips against his.

I never believed that falling in love would feel this incredible. And no matter how many times we argued and how many times I was scared, I believed our love would never end.

“I have an idea”, Luhan said as soon our lips parted. I just looked at him and sighed when his body weight suddenly left and he got up to walk to where our bags were.

I sat up and watched as Luhan got back with the two small jam jars we emptied an hour ago when we ate toast with jam. Luhan had cleaned the jars and now the glass was clear and see-through, the sun reflecting inside. The lid had a checkered red-white colour.

“Luhan, what…”

He sat down in front of me, crossing his legs, and pulled out little white sheets of paper and various glitter pens in all colours.

 “We’re going to write down our wishes for the future on these papers and then we’re gonna put them in each jar. When we’re finished I get yours and you get mine. You must keep my jar in a safe place so all my wishes will come true, alright? I’ll keep yours safe as well.”

“Where did you get that idea from?”, it seemed like Luhans idea worked well because I laughed. Another reason I loved Luhan was his creativity and his crazy ideas.

“it just came to my mind a moment ago”, Luhan said and took an orange pen to scribble something down on a piece of paper, “but we can’t look at each other’s wishes because then they won’t come true. So no peeking! You’re not allowed to open the jar either.”

Luhan turned around when I tried to catch a glimpse of what he was writing. I knew one of the things he would write down would be his dream of becoming a singer. I hoped I was still one of his future wishes too.

No matter how long I stared at the empty post-it notes I couldn’t come up with anything I wish for the future except for Luhan. No matter what I would be doing, or how much I’d be earning, it would turn out fine as long as I’d have Luhan by my side.

So I wrote down Luhans name on each of the little notes. I wished for his health, for his happines, for his joy, and for him to be with me. I folded the little papers and put them into the jar. No matter from what angle he looked at the jar now, he couldn’t read what I wrote.

“Done!”, Luhan jumped up as he closed his jar and faced me again. The smile on Luhans face infected me and I couldn’t help but give him a weak smile.

“When am I allowed to open your jar?”

“Maybe when we grow old together”, Luhan smirked, “it’s like a pinky promise, if you open it you will break our promise and demons will haunt you forever.”

“So your promise is to grow old together with me?”, I crawled over to him and sat on my knees as I his flushed cheeks.

“Yes.”

I think I never felt as happy as I did that day when Luhan promised, and I pulled him into a tight embrace. I don’t even know myself why I did that, probably I just wanted to make sure Luhan was real and I wasn’t dreaming, because everything was so perfect.

Luhans breath against my neck and his chest glued to mine, our heart beating as one, as I wrapped my arms around his torso. No matter how many times we hugged I could feel Luhan was excited just like the first time.

I felt like time stopped passing and I didn’t care about my plans for tomorrow. With Luhan I learned to accept failure and happiness, and just taking life as it comes.

Maybe I was just young and naïve,

but I was sure that I never wanted to let Luhan go first.

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1 year later

If I was given the opportunity of traveling back in time, I would choose to go back to that day and somehow stop the time. Maybe you are going to say I’m complaining too much. Maybe I really am.

After all I have enrolled in college and got a job as a waiter in a fast-food restaurant by the sea, where I work mostly in the evenings. My boss is a nice old lady and I’ve befriended the other co-worker who works here full-time. I earn my own money for college and although I may not have everything I want I lead a pretty comfortable life.

“Hey Sehun, daydreaming once again?”, the guy who that deep husky voice belonged to slapped my neck as he leaned over the bar and let himself fall into one of the stools.

The restaurant was decorated in an old-fashion american style, the seats were filled with red cotton fabric and the light was hanging low over the tables and the bar. We offered a wide range of different food, but people mostly came here to order burgers anyways. The cook was living in the States for a long time so he burgers he made were excellent.

“Chanyeol, what the hell was that for?!”, I scratched my neck because hell, Chanyeol knew how to hit someone and leave a mark.

“I just bought a new magazine and guess who’s on the covers”, Chanyeol held the cover of the magazine close to his chest so I couldn’t see the front, “again.”

I didn’t want to guess because I was tired of Chanyeols stupid guessing games, and Chanyeol always made it so obvious that even a primary schooler was able to guess.

Before I made an attempt to guess he let the magazine fall in front of me. It wasn’t just a random fashion magazine, it was the fashion magazine, with millions of copies sold all over Korea.

And Luhan was smiling at me through the cover of that magazine.

I picked it up and brought it closer to my face like it would make Luhan jump out of the covers. They dyed his hair honey blonde and put him in weird, uncomfortable-looking clothes I know Luhan would never wear voluntary.

The new hair-colour and the happy smile made him look even more innocent, although I knew so well that he wasn’t, we both weren’t. Even his nose and his childish-looking face looked younger and rounder and I was surprised how a persons appearance can change when becoming an idol.

Yes, Luhan has finally made it. He became a singer but not just that. He was an idol now, someone millions of people looked up to. His popularity has spread all over Asia and soon became Koreas biggest sensation, earning a lot of fame in a short-period of time.

It was a lucky day for Luhan. We just went shopping together in the nearest shopping mall last summer when a man in suits and tie went up to him and passed him his business card, telling him he had the perfect looks to become a star.

I told him to be careful, but of course I had no other chance than to support him. At first I didn’t believe he would become that famous. And he was happy. Even through the covers I could tell Luhan fully enjoyed what he was doing.

And Luhan was still beautiful. There might be a lot of people who admired Luhan now, but I still admired him the most. Finally he was able to earn money with his voice, and I knew every song by heart, I knew how much work and effort Luhan had put in his work.

“Luhan.”

I browsed through the pages to get to the article about Luhan. Since the very beginning I collected every single article that was about him. Most of the articles were shallow though, the interviewer asking what Luhans ideal type of girl was and who inspired him to write his songs.

Luhans answer to that question had always been ‘my best friend’. Anytime I read that I was so happy because I was still Luhans reason of happiness, but at the same time I was so sad because he wasn’t allowed to write ‘my boyfriend’.

Sometimes the reporters had been annoying and asked Luhan about who his mysterious best friend was, but Luhan didn’t intend to tell anyone because he wanted to keep me out of the ‘flashlights’ and he didn’t want to share his source of happiness with anyone else.

Apparently I was forced to share my happiness though. Sometimes I felt horrible because I couldn’t see Luhan for weeks. It hurt so much only to see him through pictures and fansites from fangirls who sometimes seemed to be closer to him than I ever was.

Since Luhan signed his contract he moved away from his old dusty apartment and moved into one of those high skyscrapers downtown where most of the celebrities lived. Those were secured by tall intimidating bodyguards and surrounded by photographers daily.

“Dude, you and Luhan should meet up and celebrate that together. That’s a big accomplishment for him”, Chanyeol told me as he poured himself a glass of beer.

“Yeah, I’d be happy if you told that his manager”, I sighed, “that man is strict and scary as hell. Moreover, Luhan is busy promoting his latest album. I don’t want to disturb him.”

“But you’re Luhans boyfriend, of course he should make time for you, celebrity or not.”

“Shh, don’t be so loud!” I slapped Chanyeols arm with rag.

“Who cares, as if anyone would believe me when I say you’re Luhans boyfriend.”

Ouch, that hurt. Chanyeol was right, there were so many fangirls claiming to be Luhans girlfriend, it didn’t matter anymore. Sometimes I wondered why I even told Chanyeol about it, it was actually quiet funny. Chanyeols reaction was priceless and I had to show him all of the pictures Luhan and me took together before he believed me.

“I’m sorry”, Chanyeol said quickly when the smile disappeared from my face, “really, I know I talk too much gibberish.”

“It’s okay, at least you’re honest.”

“Come on”, Chanyeol leaned over the bar and clinged to one of my arms, “at least send him a text. He really needs to get a day off after all that work. When was the last time you saw him? Three weeks ago?”

“Actually a month.”

“See? Do it!”

I knew there was no escape if Chanyeol urged me to do something, so I took out my mobile phone and searched for Luhans number, that I saved under ‘Xiao Lu’.

What should I write him anyways? I miss you? I wrote that to him everyday. Luhan didn’t always reply, but he always replied ‘I miss you too’. As soon as he had time he wrote me how his day went and who he met.

Sometimes I laughed because he complained how ugly his new clothes were or how annoying the new stylist had been, and I was wondering what I was supposed to write because my days had been equally boring and Luhan was the only one who made it seem extraordinary.

6:12pm To: Xiao Lu
From: Sehun
Your new hair color suits you, blonde looks adorable on you <3 I really want to see you right now. Is there a chance I might steal you for a night? (:

I pressed ‘send’ and put my phone straight away again to focus on work. Chanyeol looked pleased as well but he still looked at me like a creep.

“What?”

“I just wish I could see you two as well. I can’t imagine you smiling and puking rainbows and all that . You’re always so stiff and grumpy.”

I rolled my eyes and went back to work.

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02:24am From: Xiao Lu
To: Sehun
Thank you Sehun <3 I miss you too, I really do. My manager forced me to practise the new dance until late as you see -.- Of course! I have a day off in two weeks… But you can come to my fansign on Saturday! Will you come? Please T_T

That was the message I saw afterwards when I woke up in the morning and a big smile appeared on my face while I read it. I was happy Luhan replied me, but it even hurt more to know Luhan was working until late night all by himself, without me telling him encouraging words in person.

Of course I promised to come to his fansign. Actually it was the first official one he had and a lot of fans were anticipating it. I was really excited and couldn’t wait to see Luhan after all that time.

Since it was a warm and sunny day the fansign was being held outside under a big white tent. When I arrived there I couldn’t believe what I saw: there were so many people, just coming to see Luhan. And I arrived pretty early.

Most of them were girls though (luckily). I felt a bit like an outsider, like I was standing out too much. I was wearing a white sweatshirt and a simple pair of jeans with black coloured sneakers, but I still felt weird. It just didn’t feel right to be here to visit my boyfriend.

Some of the girls threw me a curious look, giggling at the thought I was one of Luhans fanboys. Probably that wasn’t even that wrong.

When I managed to get through a mass of people, many photographers among them, I realised there was a long queue lining up to the table Luhan was sitting at. I just saw him from afar, smiling at some girl as he signed her album, poster or whatever, but my heart beat so incredibly fast.

Unfortunately the line barely moved and I felt like I was stuck here since hours. The sun was shining really hot today and the girls behind me passed each other water bottles, asking me if I wanted a gulp, but I refused kindly.

After what seemed like an eternity I was finally getting nearer and there were just two or three girls in front of me. I nervously bit my lips and played with the hem of my sweatshirt.

Before I even managed to calm down and take a breath I was standing in front of Luhan, who was looking up at me with the biggest smile I ever saw on him, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. I missed him so much. His blonde hair and his whole appearance really looked even better in real, and I had almost forgotten how beautiful he looked like.

“H-hey”, I stuttered first, not even knowing why I was so nervous. It was just Luhan after all, but I still didn’t know what to say to fit the situation.

“How are you?”

“Good and you?”

“Nervous. I was waiting so long to see you”, Luhan looked down and lowered his voice as he said so, “I missed you too.”

I smiled, and that was when some girl behind me shouted what was taking me so long and that the weather was so hot and they’re not going to wait forever for their turns.

“I’m sorry you cannot stay longer”, Luhans sighed, but tried his best to keep his smile. He took one of the autograph cards laying next to him and opened his sharpie to write. After he finished he handed me the card and smiled. “I already miss you again.”

“I love you”, I didn’t even care that I said that a bit too loudly, I wanted Luhan to hear it clearly and I didn’t care if anyone else heard it. Sometimes I wish Luhan wouldn’t be so famous and we would be able to enjoy our relationship freely.

Luhan didn’t reply because the girl behind be was already standing in front of him and giggled and talked like she’d never have a chance to talk to him again. Probably she wouldn’t, but I didn’t pity her.

I sighed deeply as I walked back home, the card still in my hands pressed to my chest. I know Luhan liked to sweet-talk with his fans but I think no one is going to receive such a cute card.

Just for my Sehun <3 I love you forever and ever! Please don’t forget to eat healthy, burgers aren’t that good for your health… Your love, Luhan.

Just to reach Luhan for mere seconds I was standing there for hours. While in the past Luhan was only mine, I now had to share. I know it big time, but I had no other choice. I just hoped things would turn out better for us both in the near future.

I just smiled when I remembered Luhans promise.

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A week later Luhan wrote me that he will come to visit me after midnight at the sea behind the restaurant I’m working at. He said he will probably be really tired and exhausted because he just finished promotions in China but it was the only day he was free for the next few weeks.

Finally that night would be tomorrow and I wasn’t able to sleep at all. Probably I will just end up sleeping at work instead if I continue to be this excited. I will finally be able to hug Luhan, to smell his scent and just be by his side. Even if it’s just for a night, I don’t want nothing more than to watch him sleep next to me.

So I was lying in my bed, shifting underneath the sheets. The only source of light was coming from my mobile phone, at which I stared for the past few hours. I was browsing through various fansites and checked Luhans newest photos.

Luhan looked tired, he had dark circles under his eyes. His hair was messy and his eyes wet from yawning too much. Traveling around a lot must be really exhausting. Poor baby, I just hoped I could cheer him up somehow tomorrow.

While browsing through the photos I listened to Luhan playing the piano through my earphones. It was a beautiful, emotional piece and I closed my eyes for a moment, imagining Luhan would play it in front of me. Last year, as he was practising, I always listened carefully while his fingers danced over the keys.

Luhan was just like a piano, stained by many people’s hands, waiting  for clarity. Waiting for someone who will someday play the most beautiful melody out of that piano. Waiting for the right one, who knows to press the right keys.

So I will be waiting too.

Then I went through my favorite folder with Luhan pictures. On these pictures Luhan smiled brightly and warmheartedly. And the pictures we took together.

Somehow I fell asleep as I watched Luhan smile at me through the mobile screen.

[a/n: ok decided to split it in more parts so you won't have to wait forever haha /lazy]