Chapter 31
The Blue of the Sky on Rainy Days
When Eunhyuk came back home in the evening, hair soaked by the rain, he tried, as best as possible, to hide the sudden joy that his afternoon spent with Donghae had risen inside him. His mother did not really understand why he tried to hold back a smile when she had seen him leave in the most miserable state. She feared he could have smoked hash or anything like this so it would make him high and lose touch with reality.
- “Is everything all right Eunhyuk?” she anxiously asked as she rested her hand on her son’s forehead, a towel folded on her arm. “I wanted to call you because you took so long, but I remembered that your cell phone had broken that day in the church ...”
She was afraid of hurting him by reminding him that memory, but she wanted to know if her son would be able to recover from such an event, or if he would remain hurt forever. She regretted having mentioned this moment, but on the other hand, she wanted to make it clear.
The memory certainly gave a little shock to Eunhyuk, because this period of his life had been so painful that he would never be able to be as carefree as before, but he did not shattered, because now he knew that in his coffin, in his paleness, life still beat in Donghae’s heart, discrete and silent, but present. He tried to visualize this little face for a moment again, wondering if Donghae had not left a message somewhere, in the fold of his mouth or in the corner of his nose, that his too blurry eyes would not have managed to decipher.
- “I’m fine, it did me good to take a breath of fresh air, I felt like I was suffocating”, he replied, letting his head being dried by a large towel.
He hesitated to tell her the truth, thinking that he could trust his mother, and that if he did not do it, she would no longer understand anything. But, taken by hesitation and being mistrustful about almost everything now, he preferred to wait and postpone the moment of such a confession to be sure he would not regret it. He would ask for Dr. Cho’s opinion before doing anything, because the doctor seemed endowed with a rare gift of organization.
- “I made you an omelet as you like it, it'll warm you up”, his mother, who could not prevent herself from casting a worried and protective look on him, told him.
- “Thank you, but I ate ramens on my way back, I’m not hungry anymore.”
- “So like this you prepare omelets for the offender, and nothing for me who enforce the law?” his father bellowed from the living room between two advertisings about detergent and slimming products, things that were both totally alien to him , if it was not through television.
- “You should really divorce this nasty character mom, we would easily do without him, he’s nothing but a hole in this house’s budget”, Eunhyuk advised as he walked to his room. “I'll go to bed, I need to sleep.”
***
- “Is everything all right Eunhyuk?” she anxiously asked as she rested her hand on her son’s forehead, a towel folded on her arm. “I wanted to call you because you took so long, but I remembered that your cell phone had broken that day in the church ...”
She was afraid of hurting him by reminding him that memory, but she wanted to know if her son would be able to recover from such an event, or if he would remain hurt forever. She regretted having mentioned this moment, but on the other hand, she wanted to make it clear.
The memory certainly gave a little shock to Eunhyuk, because this period of his life had been so painful that he would never be able to be as carefree as before, but he did not shattered, because now he knew that in his coffin, in his paleness, life still beat in Donghae’s heart, discrete and silent, but present. He tried to visualize this little face for a moment again, wondering if Donghae had not left a message somewhere, in the fold of his mouth or in the corner of his nose, that his too blurry eyes would not have managed to decipher.
- “I’m fine, it did me good to take a breath of fresh air, I felt like I was suffocating”, he replied, letting his head being dried by a large towel.
He hesitated to tell her the truth, thinking that he could trust his mother, and that if he did not do it, she would no longer understand anything. But, taken by hesitation and being mistrustful about almost everything now, he preferred to wait and postpone the moment of such a confession to be sure he would not regret it. He would ask for Dr. Cho’s opinion before doing anything, because the doctor seemed endowed with a rare gift of organization.
- “I made you an omelet as you like it, it'll warm you up”, his mother, who could not prevent herself from casting a worried and protective look on him, told him.
- “Thank you, but I ate ramens on my way back, I’m not hungry anymore.”
- “So like this you prepare omelets for the offender, and nothing for me who enforce the law?” his father bellowed from the living room between two advertisings about detergent and slimming products, things that were both totally alien to him , if it was not through television.
- “You should really divorce this nasty character mom, we would easily do without him, he’s nothing but a hole in this house’s budget”, Eunhyuk advised as he walked to his room. “I'll go to bed, I need to sleep.”
***
Eunhyuk insisted to go back to school on the very next day. He felt like it had been months since he had not set foot there, even if he had remained in jail for a short week only. This feeling was easily explained by the fact that since Donghae had disappeared, he had not listened to anything in class, nor had he about the school’s teeming life around him. That morning, he heard that Yoo Ra had died her hair blonde, was in a cold with her best friend he could not remember the name -which was however not for want of trying since he had often met her as she was always glued to her-, and that she dated some super manly guy named Hangeng now (all this coming from the mouth of the girl to his left, who told gossips to all ears that crossed her path anyway). And that morning too, he realized that Heechul no longer spoke to him since long. As he walked passed him in the hallways, his former friend only sent him some vague nod, not expecting to receive a response. He still had the same nonchalant way of throwing his belongings in his locker, and when he closed the iron door, Eunhyuk saw that Onew stood behind, trying to explain something with animation. 'I wonder how these two managed to become friends...' he thought as he looked at them walk away in the hallway, not feeling like he really had the right to run and join them to joke with them again.
Return to school seemed horribly difficult to him. He did not understand anything anymore, the curricula had nothing to do with what they studied in June for example. Eunhyuk felt like someone had just freed him from a block of ice, and gave him back his life two centuries later. Only math remained kind of okay, but for everything else, he almost felt like attending ancient Chinese lessons. However, he did not let himself become daunted and listened with the greatest attention he could provide, thinking that with will, work, and especially Donghae’s help, he could perhaps successfully catch up.
Return to school seemed horribly difficult to him. He did not understand anything anymore, the curricula had nothing to do with what they studied in June for example. Eunhyuk felt like someone had just freed him from a block of ice, and gave him back his life two centuries later. Only math remained kind of okay, but for everything else, he almost felt like attending ancient Chinese lessons. However, he did not let himself become daunted and listened with the greatest attention he could provide, thinking that with will, work, and especially Donghae’s help, he could perhaps successfully catch up.
- “Ah, you’re back with us as I can see Eunhyuk!” Eeteuk said as a greeting as he entered the classroom after the one he had just left. “The guidance counselor asked me to pass his wish of having a talk with you during the break. I think it’ll do you really good right? Well, now, let’s go back to our reported speech.”
***
***
- “Excuse me...”
- “Ah yeah, come in, I was waiting for you Eunhyuk”, replied the seductive guidance counselor to the high school student, who had stuck his head in the crack of his office’s door, by turning his armchair as a Mafioso.
- “The English teacher told me you wanted to talk to me.”
- “I just wanted to make sure everything’s all right, that you regained your composure, don’t worry. Kyuhyun told me everything. It must have been hard for you to keep all this anguish and pain inside. If you ever need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate, you can trust me.”
- “Ah ...” Eunhyuk said a bit embarrassed, holding his pants in his hands and bowing his head. “Thank you, but everything’s fine now. Thank you very much for taking care of Donghae ...”
- “Oh, it’s my pleasure. He’s very wise at home. Well, I mean, he’s calm, talk without too much difficulty and doesn’t throw fits. But above all... this child is a genius.”
He had said this without his joking tone, emphasizing the word with a loud voice.
- “Ah yeah, come in, I was waiting for you Eunhyuk”, replied the seductive guidance counselor to the high school student, who had stuck his head in the crack of his office’s door, by turning his armchair as a Mafioso.
- “The English teacher told me you wanted to talk to me.”
- “I just wanted to make sure everything’s all right, that you regained your composure, don’t worry. Kyuhyun told me everything. It must have been hard for you to keep all this anguish and pain inside. If you ever need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate, you can trust me.”
- “Ah ...” Eunhyuk said a bit embarrassed, holding his pants in his hands and bowing his head. “Thank you, but everything’s fine now. Thank you very much for taking care of Donghae ...”
- “Oh, it’s my pleasure. He’s very wise at home. Well, I mean, he’s calm, talk without too much difficulty and doesn’t throw fits. But above all... this child is a genius.”
He had said this without his joking tone, emphasizing the word with a loud voice.
- “I was first sorry to hear that he had to renounce to get into the country’s best university. It was really frustrating not to be able to provide such intelligence what it needed to bloom, I thought.”
The boy nodded, hoping that Siwon would maybe expose him a way to allow Donghae to go.
- “But it was stupid of me to think that. A few days ago, I saw him rummaging through my library. He had put on his knees an old Greek book that I had bought during my six months in Rome, before changing vocation. I had bought it, wanting to learn this beautiful ancient language to read St. Paul’s Epistles in its original version. Anyway, here’s not the point. Although he knew nothing about this language, he came to interrupt me while I was preparing the meal to ask me:”
- “Sir, can you speak this language?”
- “Uh ... A little”, I replied. “Actually, people don’t really speak this way anymore, not in this state at least.”
- “Are the words that are similar but have different endings have different functions in the sentence?” he asked, just to check his intuition.
- “Uh ... A little”, I replied. “Actually, people don’t really speak this way anymore, not in this state at least.”
- “Are the words that are similar but have different endings have different functions in the sentence?” he asked, just to check his intuition.
- “He had found, while I was peeling carrots, just like that, leafing through a book he did not even know its alphabet, the system of variations. And yet, it’s just one inconsequential example among others. The speed at which he learns is almost appalling for us poor mortals... It’s not a coloring book I gave him so he can have fun, but some third academic cycle manuals of mathematics, that I specially purchased in a university library. I can’t understand anything in there, but him, he slightly knits his eyebrows and has a lot of fun. That’s why I don’t regret that much for college; he’s probably smarter than all the brilliant teachers who teach there. With all the books that collected all the best ideas from all the best thinkers throughout ages, he’ll manage to pull through. And well, affection and relationships with others are more important to him right now than equations of 47th degree and everything. But I guess you weight it up much better than I do isn’t it?” he said with a chuckle.
Eunhyuk bowed again, a small smile stretching his lips.
- “Yes. Thanks again for taking care of him ...”
- “You’re the one who’ll have to take care of him, you know”, the counselor immediately replied as he played with his clipboard. “Not immediately don’t worry; but when you’ll both be adults. He no longer has parents after all, and even if he’s a genius, to everything that concerns daily life, saying that he doesn’t know much is an understatement. This brings me to the second point I wanted to discuss with you. Well, more like a tirade I have to utter a steam on. How talkative I am. I share this with Kyuhyun; it goes back to the day... But I won’t talk about my life, even if I really want to. So yes, I wanted to talk to you about your grades. They came close to nothing lately. You imperatively have to start working again, so during afternoons with Donghae, don’t spend all your time kissing, you guys also have to work very hard to make up for all this disaster. I will watch eh! I don’t say this so you can graduate this year, it seems quite compromised, but so at least the director agrees to let you repeat your year here.”
- “I won’t repeat a year”, Eunhyuk said. “I still have three months.”
- “If you say so, if you say so, I’m absolutely delighted! Because you need to have a good job so you can take care of Donghae huh, you can’t drop him now, and it’s out of question for you guys to live as gypsies, you pulling the prodigy in endless wanderings as your tamed bear, and taking him in casinos to earn a lot of money using his gifts for calculations”, he joked.
- “I’ll succeed Sir”, the high school student replied in a very serious tone. “You can do anything as long as you’re alive.”
- “Okay, go back to class now, you need it”, Siwon replied, laughing of seeing him so serious and motivated. “Oh, and I almost forgot, I have something for you.”
He majestically handed him a key, advancing his arm above his desk covered with paperwork, and making it rotate around his finger.
- “What is it?” Eunhyuk asked, fearing it would be the key of some shed full of prospectus to sort.
- “The spare key of my house. He doesn’t like being alone in the apartment for too long, you’ll often have to go and check if he’s okay. Aaaah”, he sighed, “I'd rather give it to my girlfriend, but right now, Donghae’s more successful than me in his love life, so better they are useful. Oh, and I come back home around seven in the evening.”
***
That day, in the streets after school, on his way to the apartment near the station, keys happily jingling inside his pocket and with a grateful thought for his guidance counselor, Eunhyuk saw a large cardboard on the sidewalk, maybe for a fridge, or rather a washing machine as it was square. It did not seem to have been damaged by the rain. He slowed his steps, hesitated a little, turned around it, and finally left with it.
-“Look Donghae, we’ll build a house!” he happily exclaimed as he entered the apartment, moving around to enter the box and get the keys hanging in the lock.
Donghae did not burst out with a surprised face as he had expected it, and the apartment remained silent.
- “Donghae?” he repeated, closing the door behind him.
He walked into the living room, leaving his box behind and forgetting to remove his jacket.
- “Donghae?” he called again, anxiety starting to appear in his voice.
The place seemed deserted. He was seized by a sudden, devouring fear that hit him like a gong and sounded inside his whole body as he was not able to find him in the apartment. He had to lean against a door frame as his strength left him. It was not possible, someone could not have taken Donghae away from him again, plunge him into hell again!
- “Nuyk, are you okay?” asked a little and worried voice.
Donghae had just come out of the bathroom and wondered why his friend was so pale.
- “Oh you, I'll hang you a bell!” he replied as he held him against himself, heart still pounding because of the fear he had made up himself.
- “What is it?” Donghae asked by standing on tiptoe to try and look behind his shoulder to see what was this dark mass in the hallway.
- “Oh this? I found it in the street, and I thought that by cutting a window in it, and drawing a handle...”
- “We're going to build a house!” Donghae, who almost his chops with contentment, understood.
They set to work. Donghae pulled the box into the living room, and Eunhyuk went to find scissors and cutters in the kitchen. Installed on their knees, and preventively having traced lines with a pen, they opened a window on each side of the large box, using the sections of cut cardboard to create shutters by slightly folding them. By doing the right corner of the window, Donghae, who was not very good with his hands, slid the knife a bit too fast and cut himself.
-“Look Donghae, we’ll build a house!” he happily exclaimed as he entered the apartment, moving around to enter the box and get the keys hanging in the lock.
Donghae did not burst out with a surprised face as he had expected it, and the apartment remained silent.
- “Donghae?” he repeated, closing the door behind him.
He walked into the living room, leaving his box behind and forgetting to remove his jacket.
- “Donghae?” he called again, anxiety starting to appear in his voice.
The place seemed deserted. He was seized by a sudden, devouring fear that hit him like a gong and sounded inside his whole body as he was not able to find him in the apartment. He had to lean against a door frame as his strength left him. It was not possible, someone could not have taken Donghae away from him again, plunge him into hell again!
- “Nuyk, are you okay?” asked a little and worried voice.
Donghae had just come out of the bathroom and wondered why his friend was so pale.
- “Oh you, I'll hang you a bell!” he replied as he held him against himself, heart still pounding because of the fear he had made up himself.
- “What is it?” Donghae asked by standing on tiptoe to try and look behind his shoulder to see what was this dark mass in the hallway.
- “Oh this? I found it in the street, and I thought that by cutting a window in it, and drawing a handle...”
- “We're going to build a house!” Donghae, who almost his chops with contentment, understood.
They set to work. Donghae pulled the box into the living room, and Eunhyuk went to find scissors and cutters in the kitchen. Installed on their knees, and preventively having traced lines with a pen, they opened a window on each side of the large box, using the sections of cut cardboard to create shutters by slightly folding them. By doing the right corner of the window, Donghae, who was not very good with his hands, slid the knife a bit too fast and cut himself.
The cut was not deep, but some blood appeared on his skin. Staring at the small red drop, Donghae’s face changed. He began to tremble, trying to move his own hand away from himself. Seeing a panic attack arriving, Eunhyuk grabbed the injured finger and put it in his mouth, between his teeth and against his hot palate to this color that scared Donghae so much. He slightly the wound several times and it as a feeding-bottle’s teat until the blood stopped flowing out of it.
- “Hey silly, you're a big boy, you're not going to cry for this do you? Saw how my healing method works well? It doesn’t hurt anymore, does it?”
- “No”, Donghae replied in a small voice, ashamed of having let himself being carried away for so little, looking at his wet thumb.
- “You’ll also have to heal me when I’ll be hurt, okay?”
- “Okay”, he nodded, sniffling.
Seeing that he had obtained his promise, Eunhyuk immediately cried Ouch, in a rather convincing way, despite the laughter his joke gave him in advance and that he had to hold back.
- “What’s going on?” Donghae, who was a bit startled by the interjection, asked as he tilted his head to the side.
- “I bit my tongue. It really hurts. You have to heal me.”
- “Really?”
- “Yes, quick or I'll die.”
It’s almost with panic that Donghae slipped his tongue inside his mouth. The blood he felt there was only his finger’s, yet he forgot this essential detail in his hastiness, and applied himself to heal his friend with all his heart. His kiss was so serious that Eunhyuk could not help but laugh through it, which both caused them some strange feeling.
- “With this, I’ll live very old for sure”, Eunhyuk, who had let himself fall into his arms to mimic his loss of energy better, whispered.
They went on the installation of their small house, covering it with lap robes and cushions to be more comfortable, and Donghae even tried to draw a cat and a boy on the plate that was supposed to give their names.
- “No”, Donghae replied in a small voice, ashamed of having let himself being carried away for so little, looking at his wet thumb.
- “You’ll also have to heal me when I’ll be hurt, okay?”
- “Okay”, he nodded, sniffling.
Seeing that he had obtained his promise, Eunhyuk immediately cried Ouch, in a rather convincing way, despite the laughter his joke gave him in advance and that he had to hold back.
- “What’s going on?” Donghae, who was a bit startled by the interjection, asked as he tilted his head to the side.
- “I bit my tongue. It really hurts. You have to heal me.”
- “Really?”
- “Yes, quick or I'll die.”
It’s almost with panic that Donghae slipped his tongue inside his mouth. The blood he felt there was only his finger’s, yet he forgot this essential detail in his hastiness, and applied himself to heal his friend with all his heart. His kiss was so serious that Eunhyuk could not help but laugh through it, which both caused them some strange feeling.
- “With this, I’ll live very old for sure”, Eunhyuk, who had let himself fall into his arms to mimic his loss of energy better, whispered.
They went on the installation of their small house, covering it with lap robes and cushions to be more comfortable, and Donghae even tried to draw a cat and a boy on the plate that was supposed to give their names.
They played and rolled in and out of the small cardboard shelter for long, entering through the door, going out through the window, making it dangerously shake with their pirouettes. If he had entered the apartment at his moment, Siwon would never have believed they could make use of his little gift as their laughers were so childish.
- “You know”, Eunhyuk told Donghae with difficulty as he took back his breath, slumped on a cushion, his body half out of their home in the house, “after everything that happened to us, I’ll always be afraid to lose you now ... and as I can’t tattoo your ear, you’ll also have to reassure me, to protect me my Donghae ... to become a real little lion when I'm tired or discouraged.”
- “You know”, Eunhyuk told Donghae with difficulty as he took back his breath, slumped on a cushion, his body half out of their home in the house, “after everything that happened to us, I’ll always be afraid to lose you now ... and as I can’t tattoo your ear, you’ll also have to reassure me, to protect me my Donghae ... to become a real little lion when I'm tired or discouraged.”
Donghae nodded in a very serious and decided way. He looked really adorable to Eunhyuk who had, in a glance, finally managed to understand and synthesize everything he liked about him: a deep and instinctive intelligent air, mixed to some kind of naive innocence, features you could appreciate after being well impregnated, some kind of small animal side that you had to tame.
He thought about a story his mothers had sometimes read as he was in bed, or maybe was it the teacher in class when he was younger, a story about a prince, a planet, baobab and pink. Something, a word, a sentence, which seemed to coincide, although his memory was indistinct, to his own story...
He thought about a story his mothers had sometimes read as he was in bed, or maybe was it the teacher in class when he was younger, a story about a prince, a planet, baobab and pink. Something, a word, a sentence, which seemed to coincide, although his memory was indistinct, to his own story...
He did not remember it on the moment, but found it later and read it to Donghae: “Of course”, said the fox. “To me you're just a little boy among thousands other little boys. And I don’t need you. And you don’t need me either. For you I’m just a fox among thousands other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. You’ll be unique for me. I’ll be unique for you ...”
- “Nyuk”, Donghae called him, pulling him out of his sweet thoughts, “remember you once told me what it meant to love. But I thought about it, and I think that you didn’t tell me everything exactly.”
- “Really?”
- “You told me that loving someone meant to be happy when she was there, sad when she was not, to want to hold her and all.”
He looked very shy while trying to express his ideas, a bit scared of uttering such a long tirade, maybe fearing that his voice would break as a too fragile ornament. Eunhyuk did not say anything, but raised his head to encourage him to continue.
- “But that was the general definition of love right?” Donghae uncertainly asked. “Because from the way I love you, saying just that isn’t enough. I'm sure it needs a lot more words. It’d be best to mention that it’s Eunhyuk in the definition. It’d be best to mention that it’s you, and well, use much nicer and funnier words.”
- “Oh Donghae, you made me cry, silly.”
And it was true; his eyelashes were stuck together with tears, like a star around his eyes. Eunhyuk rubbed his eyes, a bit ashamed of his carelessness. He thought of a way to get his revenge for this outburst of feelings that had made him lost control of himself. His wet eyes began to smile as the best solution presented itself.
- “Hey Donghae, you who’re so smart, can you guess what will happen in a minute?”
- “Nyuk”, Donghae called him, pulling him out of his sweet thoughts, “remember you once told me what it meant to love. But I thought about it, and I think that you didn’t tell me everything exactly.”
- “Really?”
- “You told me that loving someone meant to be happy when she was there, sad when she was not, to want to hold her and all.”
He looked very shy while trying to express his ideas, a bit scared of uttering such a long tirade, maybe fearing that his voice would break as a too fragile ornament. Eunhyuk did not say anything, but raised his head to encourage him to continue.
- “But that was the general definition of love right?” Donghae uncertainly asked. “Because from the way I love you, saying just that isn’t enough. I'm sure it needs a lot more words. It’d be best to mention that it’s Eunhyuk in the definition. It’d be best to mention that it’s you, and well, use much nicer and funnier words.”
- “Oh Donghae, you made me cry, silly.”
And it was true; his eyelashes were stuck together with tears, like a star around his eyes. Eunhyuk rubbed his eyes, a bit ashamed of his carelessness. He thought of a way to get his revenge for this outburst of feelings that had made him lost control of himself. His wet eyes began to smile as the best solution presented itself.
- “Hey Donghae, you who’re so smart, can you guess what will happen in a minute?”
___________________________
Sorry for the wait, I just had really important exams this week and needed to work on my Chinese a lot^^
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