Chapter 12
The Blue of the Sky on Rainy Days
When Eunhyuk went back home on Sunday night, he felt like he had bells in his head and bees in his stomach. Walking on his way back, he found himself making huge smiles that made his cheeks become all warm and relaxed, and sometimes did odd jumps which almost went unnoticed. He tore the branch of something he plucked as if he was throwing confetti. He gave a big kiss to his mother who asked him how the trip-farm had been, and danced with her a few seconds in the kitchen, as if he was completely stoned.
- "You'll see, one day the cops will call us to say that your son is a big junkie", growled his father who had put his slippers on the coffee table to watch TV, "you should supervise him a bit more."
Completely stiff, without replicating anything to these accusations, Eunhyuk went upstairs to his room and threw himself on his bed, uttering little noises that sounded like Pokemon cries.
- "You'll see, one day the cops will call us to say that your son is a big junkie", growled his father who had put his slippers on the coffee table to watch TV, "you should supervise him a bit more."
Completely stiff, without replicating anything to these accusations, Eunhyuk went upstairs to his room and threw himself on his bed, uttering little noises that sounded like Pokemon cries.
- "I think that this time", he said to his room like an idiot, "I'm really in love. I’m in love, in love ♥."
Sitting on his bed, he repeated this word that sounded so strange in his head while hugging his pillow with fervor.
- "Donghae!" He said with an ecstatic air before plunging his face in, lips forward. "Wait, I'm in love with Donghae?" He dummied while questioning himself in a tragic and shocked way, suddenly moving away from his pillow. "What madness Eunhyuk, hell, is that possible?"
- "Yesss!" He answered himself while undoing all his sheets with excitement.
He got up and galloped to the bathroom, then returned without it had been useful at all.
- "Aaah", he sighed while letting himself fall flat on the mattress, "I can’t even wait until tomorrow! My god, I can’t believe it, it's completely crazy!"
If his pillow had been human, he would probably have died of suffocation during the night, but fortunately, it was only a pillow, which saw the end of its ordeal arrive at six in the morning when Eunhyuk jumped out of bed to prepare himself. He had got up an hour earlier than usual, but felt perfectly fresh, unable to stand still anymore.
He would have wanted to fast forward all his daytime classes and directly go to the ending chapter of late afternoon in the center, but unfortunately, hours passed to a deadly slowness. Lunch with his buddies and Yoo Ra in the grass outside the school barely managed to cheat his impatience; he had to use all his attention span to pay attention to what they said and not let his mind wander in the green countryside. The young woman had yet prepared a delicious picnic, and was chatting with a charming volubility.
If his pillow had been human, he would probably have died of suffocation during the night, but fortunately, it was only a pillow, which saw the end of its ordeal arrive at six in the morning when Eunhyuk jumped out of bed to prepare himself. He had got up an hour earlier than usual, but felt perfectly fresh, unable to stand still anymore.
He would have wanted to fast forward all his daytime classes and directly go to the ending chapter of late afternoon in the center, but unfortunately, hours passed to a deadly slowness. Lunch with his buddies and Yoo Ra in the grass outside the school barely managed to cheat his impatience; he had to use all his attention span to pay attention to what they said and not let his mind wander in the green countryside. The young woman had yet prepared a delicious picnic, and was chatting with a charming volubility.
- "So how was the farm Eunhyuk?" She asked him while handing a sandwich to Yesung who thanked her with a transit face.
- "Completely green and calm, but tiring", he replied with a broad smile, dreamy.
- "The little calf you sent a picture of was so cute in any case."
- "Yes..." Eunhyuk said in a rapt air as he remembered the small shorts and the sailor.
- "Excuse me for changing subject man", Shindong intervened between bites, "but could you explain me the math test’s fifth exercise? I got a zero to that one ..."
- "As if Shindong was interested in math!" Heechul exclaimed with a mocking laugh.
- "Everyone’s not as desperate as you, Chulie."
- "Here look", Eunhyuk replied as if he had been pulled from his meditation after having swallowed his bite, rubbing his hands to grab his pencil case and a sheet.
- "Completely green and calm, but tiring", he replied with a broad smile, dreamy.
- "The little calf you sent a picture of was so cute in any case."
- "Yes..." Eunhyuk said in a rapt air as he remembered the small shorts and the sailor.
- "Excuse me for changing subject man", Shindong intervened between bites, "but could you explain me the math test’s fifth exercise? I got a zero to that one ..."
- "As if Shindong was interested in math!" Heechul exclaimed with a mocking laugh.
- "Everyone’s not as desperate as you, Chulie."
- "Here look", Eunhyuk replied as if he had been pulled from his meditation after having swallowed his bite, rubbing his hands to grab his pencil case and a sheet.
He applied himself in making small drawings on the white sheet; reproducing the reasoning he had learned from Donghae with ease, and making the exercise clear to Shindong in minutes.
- "That’s pretty", Yoo Ra said as she took between her fingers with long yellow cream painted nails, the delicate bit of cloud that Eunhyuk had hung to his pencil case. "What is 'Hae'?" She asked, looking up at him.
Eunhyuk's heartbeat sharply accelerated. In a second, he realized two important things: firstly, he felt that his cheeks were reddening, that he wanted to be coaxed to tell the truth concerning this small object, that he wanted to talk about Donghae, that saying his name aloud would make him have small shivers. Secondly, he realized he should absolutely not talk about him and instead keep it a secret at all costs if he still wanted to see Donghae as he wanted, without getting caught by mockery, admonitory or prohibitions. To be sure one would not touch what he cared the most for; he should never talk about it.
- "Oh... uh... I ... it's ... an important memory, something personal", he said stammering with pink cheeks, taking the small white object back into his hands.
- "I hope it’s not a memory of one of your exes", she joked while slightly being jealous.
- "No, no, don’t worry, I don’t keep that kind of things", he replied, regaining his composure. "It's just something I did with a friend ..."
- "Yeah, it looks like the kind of thing you do in primary school", she cut him off, "but still, it’s pretty."
This compliment pleased Eunhyuk who was gradually calming down. He still slightly blamed himself failing to tell the girl she should not have too many hopes with him. A student with glasses in their class, Onew, came to interrupt them:
- "Hey Eunhyuk, Mr. Choi the math teacher’s looking for you, he wants to talk to you about the Olympiads. I didn’t know you had joined too!"
- "My my, you’re becoming a real little geek 'Nyuk", Heechul exclaimed as his friend was going back into the building behind Onew.
- "My my, you’re becoming a real little geek 'Nyuk", Heechul exclaimed as his friend was going back into the building behind Onew.
The hallways’ freshness felt pleasant to him compared to the too bright light outside. Mr. Choi was sitting in shirtsleeves behind his desk, and he friendly smiled at him as he entered.
- "Ah, thank you Onew, you found him. Hello Eunhyuk, I wanted to see you concerning your query about Mathematical Olympiads. I managed to get the registration papers for your gifted friend; you need to have them filled and signed by a legal guardian."
-"Oh, thank you sir", Eunhyuk thanked him with a sincerity his teacher had never seen him display.
- "If it can help spread the love of this beautiful discipline that is mathematics..." Mr. Choi replied emphatically. "But I have a condition to put up young man. I don’t know your friend, Donghae isn’t it, but he’s in a center, so he must have some of other problems. Or I highly doubt his nurse can enter the examination room ..."
- "I'm going to join with him!" Eunhyuk replied with enthusiasm." I will work hard not to put shame on you sir."
- "I expected no less, young man. Very well, in this case, here are the papers to fill in duplicate. Take one too Onew, I count on you two to represent our school with dignity. Bring them back for the deadline on Thursday." (His father got seized by a weird hiccup when Eunhyuk brought him a registration sheet to sign; he thought it was a bad joke.)
Delighted because he had achieved something for Donghae, Eunhyuk thought about him throughout literature in the afternoon. He replayed the scene of their 'second first kiss', as he called it, fifty times in his mind, each time feeling like a little hot wave running inside him in his back, which was deliciously wrapping around his spine and spread in all his nerves. Sometimes, he had a weird feeling, like an empty bubble in his head, and wondered how in the world he could have come to this point, what could possibly have attracted him in this strange boy, why he was so eager to see him, why when he was with him, even though they were doing nothing special, he felt so good. 'What is love?' He wanted to ask Donghae, not judging the definitions he had himself given him enough. 'It looks like a total coincidence, as if fate had decided "Oh, these two would look good together." I did not choose after all. I met him, and then we grew closer to one another. He became important to me; he became a source of happiness. And yet, I think I also love him for how he is, because it's really hard to grow attached to him...'
Then, instead of thinking, tracing the contours of the cloud with his fingertip, he was again letting himself being overwhelmed by the trembling joy that was calling out for him with a single image. The litterature teacher, who was reading classic poems to the class, seeing his ecstatic air, did not really know if he was enjoying the language’s purity or was thinking about something completely different. To be sure, she asked him:
-"Oh, thank you sir", Eunhyuk thanked him with a sincerity his teacher had never seen him display.
- "If it can help spread the love of this beautiful discipline that is mathematics..." Mr. Choi replied emphatically. "But I have a condition to put up young man. I don’t know your friend, Donghae isn’t it, but he’s in a center, so he must have some of other problems. Or I highly doubt his nurse can enter the examination room ..."
- "I'm going to join with him!" Eunhyuk replied with enthusiasm." I will work hard not to put shame on you sir."
- "I expected no less, young man. Very well, in this case, here are the papers to fill in duplicate. Take one too Onew, I count on you two to represent our school with dignity. Bring them back for the deadline on Thursday." (His father got seized by a weird hiccup when Eunhyuk brought him a registration sheet to sign; he thought it was a bad joke.)
Delighted because he had achieved something for Donghae, Eunhyuk thought about him throughout literature in the afternoon. He replayed the scene of their 'second first kiss', as he called it, fifty times in his mind, each time feeling like a little hot wave running inside him in his back, which was deliciously wrapping around his spine and spread in all his nerves. Sometimes, he had a weird feeling, like an empty bubble in his head, and wondered how in the world he could have come to this point, what could possibly have attracted him in this strange boy, why he was so eager to see him, why when he was with him, even though they were doing nothing special, he felt so good. 'What is love?' He wanted to ask Donghae, not judging the definitions he had himself given him enough. 'It looks like a total coincidence, as if fate had decided "Oh, these two would look good together." I did not choose after all. I met him, and then we grew closer to one another. He became important to me; he became a source of happiness. And yet, I think I also love him for how he is, because it's really hard to grow attached to him...'
Then, instead of thinking, tracing the contours of the cloud with his fingertip, he was again letting himself being overwhelmed by the trembling joy that was calling out for him with a single image. The litterature teacher, who was reading classic poems to the class, seeing his ecstatic air, did not really know if he was enjoying the language’s purity or was thinking about something completely different. To be sure, she asked him:
- "What do you think of this verse Eunhyuk 'Jun Wook’s love for the queen fell inside his heart with the slow suddenness of a house that collapses, like a curse.'?"
- "That doesn't mean anything, just quit it!" One heard Heechul laugh from the back of the classroom, while Yesung was whistling beside him to express his total incomprehension.
- "That doesn't mean anything, just quit it!" One heard Heechul laugh from the back of the classroom, while Yesung was whistling beside him to express his total incomprehension.
The few guys with glasses, who were conscientiously taking notes since the beginning of their lesson, rubbed their hands thinking he would finally find back his true place in class by babbling or answering nonsense worth the reputation he had held until this year. But Eunhyuk’s reverie had actually brought him some kind of draft to comment this sentence more useful than the context from which it was extracted.
- "I think that this metaphor of the house that collapses, in addition of showing the misery in which plunges forbidden love, is useful to distinguish two aspects of love. First, with the collapse and suddenness, you think about love at first sight, about love that falls on a person without they realize it, and thus takes away their responsibility. And on the other hand, as seen with the oxymoron 'slow suddenness', if the house collapses, it’s that it had been damaged and weakened gradually since long, without having undertaken any repair. So the relationship takes a long time to take place, the feeling weaves gradually, memories and habits create love. I would therefore say that it’s the awareness of a love already present for some time which is the 'collapse', the 'fall’ undergone."
- "Yeah, it's very interesting, young man", replied the teacher, "and we might add that Jun Wook ... "
The remaining of her explanation lost itself in jabber as the bell rang. Heechul wanted to go to Eunhyuk and shake him like a fruit tree to ask him if he was possessed by a demon or by the spirit of a former student who would have committed suicide in high school twenty years ago. But even before he managed to take three steps towards his table, the latter had already ran away.
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