Chapter 25
The Blue of the Sky on Rainy Days
In class, Eunhyuk organized small retrospectives in his mind, and head down towards his sheet of paper, eyes closed, in the dark room of his brain, flashed in a loop electrifying scenes of himself, Donghae, and his squared comforter. Hands on his knees, feet brought back under his chair and shoulders bent, he tried to conceal his indelible smile, without noticing his comrades’ interrogating and mocking smiles. He hardly noticed the glowing tone of his history teacher who walked up to his table to give him back his test.
- "What a precise knowledge of colonialism! And the examples are accurate, interesting and well analyzed."
- "What a precise knowledge of colonialism! And the examples are accurate, interesting and well analyzed."
... I hope he isn’t bored too much in his turret ... Mom wanted me home early to vacuum , but never mind , I’ll get scolded, I’ll run to the center as soon as the bell of the last class will ring... Eunhyuk thought without paying attention to all the praise he was receiving.
- "Your synthesis qualities also improved positively. No really, I gave you 16 out of 20..."
... I'll tell him ... I’ll tell him that we have to work really hard so I can go to college with him ... he’ll learn Russian in three minutes, and I’ll tell him that my second foreign language isn’t Russian but Japanese, and he’ll say “oh sorry 'Nhyuk” while bending his whiskers down ...
- "You should all take him as an example!" The teacher continued, now talking to the whole class. "Eunhyuk is here to prove that being the head of class isn’t something innate, but acquired! You have to fight so you can progress; think that next year, it’s University..."
... But I’ll hold him tight! ... My god, I’m getting so stupid, the boy realized while shaking his head, gradually coming back to his senses as the teacher's voice swelled into a monologue marked by epic inspiration.
- In any case, I congratulate you young man", the latter finally finished, handing him his test.
Eunhyuk took it, tilting his head, and stuffed it into his bag without taking a look at it, as students in the back of the classroom threw paper balls at him to express their outrage in front of such kiss-. His good grades did not even seem like a feat to him now, but only something needed to make him worth Donghae who was so intelligent.
In the corridors towards the canteen, he still thought about him, wondering if he could invent something or find an idea to make him happy, when Heechul accosted him:
- "Hey man, let’s eat together?"
Eunhyuk looked at him with a big smile, half because of the thoughts that occupied his mind, and half because of the gesture Heechul had done towards him and that had probably cost him a lot. They therefore sat together in the refectory, both looking a bit tense.
- "Hey man, let’s eat together?"
Eunhyuk looked at him with a big smile, half because of the thoughts that occupied his mind, and half because of the gesture Heechul had done towards him and that had probably cost him a lot. They therefore sat together in the refectory, both looking a bit tense.
- "Oh, you took some steak?" Heechul asked, trying to start a conversation.
- "Yes", Eunhyuk replied without understanding how the content of his plate could question.
- "Heard that you did well in history again...", his buddy continued, shoving green beans in his mouth.
- "Actually, it’s quite interesting when you’re absorbed into it."
- "Hum, hum... Talking about geek, where’s Onew? Doesn’t he eat with you normally?" He asked, craning over the tables to see if he could spot his glasses somewhere.
-" Oh yeah, I don’t know where he is", Eunhyuk noted while fiddling a plastic little bag that contained a dose of mustard.
- "Is he ill?"
- "Uh ... no, I don’t think so. Well, I don’t know. Why?"
- "No, for nothing, just like that", Heechul replied while putting ketchup on his breaded fish. "Are you doing something tonight? Want to come and hang out with us after school?"
- "After school... I’ll go to the center", Eunhyuk confessed, diligently munching the meat that looked more like fried plastic than anything else. "But at night why not."
- "We’ve planned on clubbing next week... take it easy, you’ll come at this moment, okay? Donghae has to go to bed early anyway, right?"
Eunhyuk dropped his fork, to which three teeth had already twisted against the meat, and fondly looked at his friend.
- "You're a nice guy! I’ll come!"
Heechul left the room after having cleared his plate, thinking that really, Eunhyuk was even starting to use outdated and outmoded expressions, in addition of being too clever on colonization and starting to appear among the best results of the week on bulletin boards.
- "Yes", Eunhyuk replied without understanding how the content of his plate could question.
- "Heard that you did well in history again...", his buddy continued, shoving green beans in his mouth.
- "Actually, it’s quite interesting when you’re absorbed into it."
- "Hum, hum... Talking about geek, where’s Onew? Doesn’t he eat with you normally?" He asked, craning over the tables to see if he could spot his glasses somewhere.
-" Oh yeah, I don’t know where he is", Eunhyuk noted while fiddling a plastic little bag that contained a dose of mustard.
- "Is he ill?"
- "Uh ... no, I don’t think so. Well, I don’t know. Why?"
- "No, for nothing, just like that", Heechul replied while putting ketchup on his breaded fish. "Are you doing something tonight? Want to come and hang out with us after school?"
- "After school... I’ll go to the center", Eunhyuk confessed, diligently munching the meat that looked more like fried plastic than anything else. "But at night why not."
- "We’ve planned on clubbing next week... take it easy, you’ll come at this moment, okay? Donghae has to go to bed early anyway, right?"
Eunhyuk dropped his fork, to which three teeth had already twisted against the meat, and fondly looked at his friend.
- "You're a nice guy! I’ll come!"
Heechul left the room after having cleared his plate, thinking that really, Eunhyuk was even starting to use outdated and outmoded expressions, in addition of being too clever on colonization and starting to appear among the best results of the week on bulletin boards.
***
Although sweet pictures of himself and his little cat occupied his mind almost without interruption, the fateful Wednesday that loomed as a threat on the horizon, finally arrived. Heart pounding, Eunhyuk approached a moist finger towards the button of the elevator that would bring him, not to the second floor as usual, but to the third, where the director's office was located. He had preferred not to see Donghae before, fearing he would communicate him his anxiety and nervousness. The head nurse of the third floor was younger than the second’s floor nurse, but equally surly. The service of this floor was for young children, as Eunhyuk understood it given the decoration, the juvenile tears and the baskets of toys hanging in corners.
- "What is it for?" The nurse stiffly asked, making her white plastic shoes scrape on the floor while walking towards him.
- "Uh ... the director wanted to see me. It’s Kaehyun who works on the second floor who told me. I 'm Eunhyuk, I volunteered here and I come from the high school next door."
- "Oh yeah I see", she said with a small pout. "Indeed, he’s waiting for you. Follow me; I’ll take you to his office."
Eunhyuk felt like he was following his executioner in the hallway to the scaffold. He really wanted to drop everything and turn his way to go hide somewhere, being almost terrified of what the director would say, and failing to imagine it. For Donghae, he thought to give himself courage, moving with closed eyes. He felt like bats fought in his chest to know which one of them would eat his liver first.
Eventually, the corridor ended, the shoes of the nurse stopped scraping and she knocked three times on a large plywood door shinning with cleanness. The three knocks echoed in Eunhyuk’s skull; a large office, lit by a bay window and covered with light carpet, met his eyes.
- "Hello young man", a fairly tall man, who also wore a white blouse and whose impeccably polished shoes gave him a pretty scary air, greeted him.
He waved to invite him to come in, and shut the door on them after nodding to the nurse who had led him there.
- "What is it for?" The nurse stiffly asked, making her white plastic shoes scrape on the floor while walking towards him.
- "Uh ... the director wanted to see me. It’s Kaehyun who works on the second floor who told me. I 'm Eunhyuk, I volunteered here and I come from the high school next door."
- "Oh yeah I see", she said with a small pout. "Indeed, he’s waiting for you. Follow me; I’ll take you to his office."
Eunhyuk felt like he was following his executioner in the hallway to the scaffold. He really wanted to drop everything and turn his way to go hide somewhere, being almost terrified of what the director would say, and failing to imagine it. For Donghae, he thought to give himself courage, moving with closed eyes. He felt like bats fought in his chest to know which one of them would eat his liver first.
Eventually, the corridor ended, the shoes of the nurse stopped scraping and she knocked three times on a large plywood door shinning with cleanness. The three knocks echoed in Eunhyuk’s skull; a large office, lit by a bay window and covered with light carpet, met his eyes.
- "Hello young man", a fairly tall man, who also wore a white blouse and whose impeccably polished shoes gave him a pretty scary air, greeted him.
He waved to invite him to come in, and shut the door on them after nodding to the nurse who had led him there.
- "Take a seat please", he said in a voice full of kindness and in which you could sense traces of snobbery.
- "Why did you want to talk to me?" Eunhyuk asked in a fairly aggressive and suspicious tone, hiding a spasm of panic as best he could.
- "Oh, for many things, many things young man", he replied with a chuckle. "You’ve become a regular of the center now; we can say this without abuse, isn’t it?"
- "Yes", the schoolboy mumbled, not seeing where he was going, heart still pounding.
- "Yeah, yeah, your relationship with patient 214, or rather Donghae if you prefer, I heard that this designation outraged you, was very profitable to him. He needed this stage of socialization to complete his learning process."
The director slightly chuckled again with Eunhyuk failing to understand why. He got up to serve himself a little brandy. That was a man who knew how to live. Eunhyuk refused the glass he handed him from afar, as a proposal, with a hand sign. This kind of small ritual from the director scared him more than his words. Finally, the white blouse man went on with his oh so snobbish voice:
- "You’ve been very useful to him in many things, and more than you can imagine. But let me tell you some things you probably don’t know about your friend. I tell you this so you can understand where I'm coming from. There are many secrets that surround our little 214, and you'll learn them all at once, doesn’t it make your heart wriggle with joy?"
- "Not really", the student, who had turned green, managed to articulate.
- "If you knew the infinite time it took him to learn anything. For you, who see him assiduously if I may say so, he may seem a bit eccentric, fearful, and misinformed about things of everyday life. But when he arrived here, there really were fewer differences between him and a pebble, than him and a human being. We had to feed him with a machine to keep his mouth open. We could only wash him once a week because we needed a generous dose of drugs to calm him, and the only cloth he agreed to wear was some sort of big camisole you put him by his head. Months, it took months to successfully hold a fork, put toothpaste on a toothbrush. He never managed to lace-up his shoes, despite all the tenacity of our nurses. At sixteen, finally, he managed to buckle his belt!"
Each of the anecdotes told by the director, yet pronounced in such a light tone, entered like a dagger into Eunhyuk’s heart. He held tight to his chair to fight against the urge of starting to yell at him, that instead of laughing of him, laughing of his illness, he better remember that Donghae probably had an IQ twice his own, that in only a month, he spoke languages that the director would have studied his whole life without success, that he probably was one of the greatest hopes of the country for scientific researches.
- "Why did you want to talk to me?" Eunhyuk asked in a fairly aggressive and suspicious tone, hiding a spasm of panic as best he could.
- "Oh, for many things, many things young man", he replied with a chuckle. "You’ve become a regular of the center now; we can say this without abuse, isn’t it?"
- "Yes", the schoolboy mumbled, not seeing where he was going, heart still pounding.
- "Yeah, yeah, your relationship with patient 214, or rather Donghae if you prefer, I heard that this designation outraged you, was very profitable to him. He needed this stage of socialization to complete his learning process."
The director slightly chuckled again with Eunhyuk failing to understand why. He got up to serve himself a little brandy. That was a man who knew how to live. Eunhyuk refused the glass he handed him from afar, as a proposal, with a hand sign. This kind of small ritual from the director scared him more than his words. Finally, the white blouse man went on with his oh so snobbish voice:
- "You’ve been very useful to him in many things, and more than you can imagine. But let me tell you some things you probably don’t know about your friend. I tell you this so you can understand where I'm coming from. There are many secrets that surround our little 214, and you'll learn them all at once, doesn’t it make your heart wriggle with joy?"
- "Not really", the student, who had turned green, managed to articulate.
- "If you knew the infinite time it took him to learn anything. For you, who see him assiduously if I may say so, he may seem a bit eccentric, fearful, and misinformed about things of everyday life. But when he arrived here, there really were fewer differences between him and a pebble, than him and a human being. We had to feed him with a machine to keep his mouth open. We could only wash him once a week because we needed a generous dose of drugs to calm him, and the only cloth he agreed to wear was some sort of big camisole you put him by his head. Months, it took months to successfully hold a fork, put toothpaste on a toothbrush. He never managed to lace-up his shoes, despite all the tenacity of our nurses. At sixteen, finally, he managed to buckle his belt!"
Each of the anecdotes told by the director, yet pronounced in such a light tone, entered like a dagger into Eunhyuk’s heart. He held tight to his chair to fight against the urge of starting to yell at him, that instead of laughing of him, laughing of his illness, he better remember that Donghae probably had an IQ twice his own, that in only a month, he spoke languages that the director would have studied his whole life without success, that he probably was one of the greatest hopes of the country for scientific researches.
- "Well, you understand", the director continued, "that this young man couldn’t live anywhere but in a specialized center. Such heartbreak for his mother! Even when the duck’s lame, the maternal instinct remains the strongest isn’t it? However, there’s still something that makes 214 different, different from our other patients this time. For all families, the birth of a child who wears such a mark of destiny on his forehead is a wrench. But for him, it was even a stain on the image of excellence it had to keep in the public eye. As incredible as it may seem, Donghae’s father is someone very important, descendant of a wealthy and illustrious family in our country, you see... You probably heard his name. Oh, I won’t tell you; he precisely entrusted us 214 in this little known suburb town for things to remain in complete anonymity."
Eunhyuk could hardly believe his ears. Donghae had been abandoned, pushed into the background, denied? His parents had left him there so he would not put them in a awkward position, they had hidden him in horrible clothes to make people believe they came from a modest background, they came to see him few times a year under false names?
- "Well... This Math Olympiads thing, where you all led us, had its effect. Donghae has his own reputation in the medical field now. This is precisely where the problem arises: he mustn’t be known, I told you why."
- "But...", Eunhyuk dared, "he would no longer be a shame for his father now.... I mean ... He's been officially accepted by the country’s best university; even his father probably didn’t manage to get into it... I’m not saying he should be proud of him, given the way he treated him, but I don’t see how it could bring shame on him..."
- "The problem you see, is that even if it’s quite trendy and popular to take on disabled children now, a bit like participating in acts of charity, when Donghae was born, it wasn’t the case at all. Parents who had given birth to a child out of standard were questioned. With the position his father was in, it wasn’t even a little acceptable that everyone’s respect was to move off in any way whatsoever. But if people were to learn the truth about his son now, everyone would point him out as a bad father, which is unacceptable for his reputation again. 214 mustn’t draw too much attention, and his entry into a prestigious university, after having arrived first in the competition, would at least led to a few articles..."
- "But then ... but then ...", stammered Eunhyuk who was starting to understand where the director wanted to come, feeling the rage and pain fight in the storm that tore him, the throne of his heart. "But then, that means it was never question of letting him go ..."
- "Yes, it seems absolutely inconceivable to me that he accepts the university’s invitation. Not that I would be the one preventing him, even if it seems quite risky. But you see, 214 will never be considered an adult. He’ll always be under his parents’ supervision because of his disability. They are, ultimately, the ones who will decide for him. I don’t want to oppose such a powerful man and risk my entire career. The time of great ideals’ gone since long for me, life taught me to bury them, just as it will also teach you to."
- "But ... but ... it was the chance of a lifetime!" Eunhyuk, who felt terribly helpless, almost shouted. "His father has no right to stop him! He has no right to sacrifice him just for the sake of his reputation! It's disgusting! This man’s such a scumbag!"
- "Calm down young man, there’s no point of using such ugly words. Moreover, his father already decided to transfer his son to another service, more appropriate, in a hospital of the capital with much better technology to their disposal than us. Donghae will be much better there, he’ll be able to bloom with higher performance structures than what we have, adapted to his intelligence ..."
- "He’s going to leave?"
Eunhyuk could hardly believe his ears. Donghae had been abandoned, pushed into the background, denied? His parents had left him there so he would not put them in a awkward position, they had hidden him in horrible clothes to make people believe they came from a modest background, they came to see him few times a year under false names?
- "Well... This Math Olympiads thing, where you all led us, had its effect. Donghae has his own reputation in the medical field now. This is precisely where the problem arises: he mustn’t be known, I told you why."
- "But...", Eunhyuk dared, "he would no longer be a shame for his father now.... I mean ... He's been officially accepted by the country’s best university; even his father probably didn’t manage to get into it... I’m not saying he should be proud of him, given the way he treated him, but I don’t see how it could bring shame on him..."
- "The problem you see, is that even if it’s quite trendy and popular to take on disabled children now, a bit like participating in acts of charity, when Donghae was born, it wasn’t the case at all. Parents who had given birth to a child out of standard were questioned. With the position his father was in, it wasn’t even a little acceptable that everyone’s respect was to move off in any way whatsoever. But if people were to learn the truth about his son now, everyone would point him out as a bad father, which is unacceptable for his reputation again. 214 mustn’t draw too much attention, and his entry into a prestigious university, after having arrived first in the competition, would at least led to a few articles..."
- "But then ... but then ...", stammered Eunhyuk who was starting to understand where the director wanted to come, feeling the rage and pain fight in the storm that tore him, the throne of his heart. "But then, that means it was never question of letting him go ..."
- "Yes, it seems absolutely inconceivable to me that he accepts the university’s invitation. Not that I would be the one preventing him, even if it seems quite risky. But you see, 214 will never be considered an adult. He’ll always be under his parents’ supervision because of his disability. They are, ultimately, the ones who will decide for him. I don’t want to oppose such a powerful man and risk my entire career. The time of great ideals’ gone since long for me, life taught me to bury them, just as it will also teach you to."
- "But ... but ... it was the chance of a lifetime!" Eunhyuk, who felt terribly helpless, almost shouted. "His father has no right to stop him! He has no right to sacrifice him just for the sake of his reputation! It's disgusting! This man’s such a scumbag!"
- "Calm down young man, there’s no point of using such ugly words. Moreover, his father already decided to transfer his son to another service, more appropriate, in a hospital of the capital with much better technology to their disposal than us. Donghae will be much better there, he’ll be able to bloom with higher performance structures than what we have, adapted to his intelligence ..."
- "He’s going to leave?"
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Hi~ I'm terribly sorry for the wait !! I've been a bit lazy and a lot stressed out since I moved out (It's the first time I live in a city, and it's Paris so... ><)
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