Yuri’s POV

Yoona and I just finished with the shoot so we decided to go home early so we could rest. We're in a van sitting next to each other and as I was busy editing the pictures that I took earlier, I got a glimpse of Yoona texting happily. Who is she texting to? She seemed so happy that it would appear that or feel like I wasn’t even here. It tugged something in me that made me quite sad because another person is making my best friend happy.

“Yoona, who are you texting to? You're chuckling like there’s no tomorrow. Are you hiding some secret relationship from me now?” I teased and moved closely to her, hoping to see who she's texting.

“Yah?! What are you talking about Yul? I’m not in some secret relationship, I’m just texting Sica-unnie that we’re coming home soon. I just chuckled because she seemed so bored and irritated that we aren’t home yet.”

I’m not relieved at all after I heard Jessica’s name. I’m losing my best friend because of her – Jessica-unnie this and Jessica-unnie that…it’s always Jessica nowadays. They’re weibo buddies, car buddies, airport buddies, airplane buddies…they’re buddies at everything. What about me? Where will I fit in?

It’s not like I’m jealous or anything…nope…never – why would I be? It wasn’t like I’m affected with the fact that Yoona much appreciated Jessica’s efforts to be with her on her birthday even though Jessica’s so tired from doing work overseas and it wasn’t like I cared that Jessica’s clinging to Yoona all the time when she has her own best friend in Sooyoung – nope…not at all. 

I am not mad at her for being so close to Yoona since I am also close with Jessica. I do like her, quite a lot. I call her Sica~baby for Royal’s sake. I am just mad at myself for feeling the way I feel for the two people closest to me because I would always feel that ‘three would always be a crowd’…and I’m the one making it a crowd.

Being a member of Girls’ Generation means having no privilege of knowing time. Our life’s fast-paced; we're always adjusting to new things and change is constant. Our world never stood-still, the atmosphere’s always loud but our bond and friendship are our only comfort – it keeps us away from hurt. Jessica is my member and the last thing I want is either of us would get hurt. Or worse, we’d end up hurting Yoona. 

“Oh, so it’s Jessica all this time? You really do enjoy her company Yoong, huh?” I said as we were getting near the entrance to the dorm.

I was waiting for her reply, even though I already know the answer to my own stupid question, when I saw a lanky figure coming out of another van ahead of us. I smiled when I saw Sooyoung. She has been busy nowadays filming for her drama that we don’t get to see or be with her that often.

“Hey look Yul, it’s Sooyoung-unnie! Sica-unnie will be elated since the three of us are coming home together.” I mutely groaned. Jessica again; it’s always going to be Jessica.

“You really like seeing Jessica happy, don’t you? What about me, Yoong?” I jokingly pouted, making her chuckle.

It’s funny how people would always say that jokes were half meant…but when I jokingly asked that to Yoona, I meant every word of it.

We were about to go out of the car when Yoona answered while getting out. “I do like seeing Jessica-unnie genuinely happy. It brushes off that cold aura surrounding her that gives people the impression of her being a snob. But you, Yul? Well…” She lazily shrugged and grinned, then left me and ran towards Sooyoung, ignoring answering my part of the question. Aish, this choding – always a tease. 

I heard her say hi to Sooyoung before running up to the dorm. Yoona’s like a child sometimes but I am glad that she still has this side of her where she could laugh whole-heartedly without worrying too much about everything. She’s been my roommate for years so she had told me things about her and her family that would always make me admire and wonder, how strong this girl is.

Sooyoung waited for me so we went to our dorm together. Yoona went in way too fast that I plan on telling her off for being a little reckless and impatient that she didn’t wait for Sooyoung and me so I ran towards the door.

“Yoong, why didn’t you…waited for Sooyoung and me“ I mumbled the last part because I couldn’t even comprehend what is happening.

“Sica-unnie, it’s dangerous to run---omo! “ I heard Seohyun said in shocked and I felt Sooyoung standing behind me.

Being a member of Girls’ Generation means having no privilege of knowing time and our bond is our comfort for hurt but I never thought that there are moments in life where everything would stand-still. The world I knew would be uncertain, the loud atmosphere could hush, and the time would be known, every freaking second of it…like I was being absorbed into a black hole, a black hole where nothing seemed to matter except for hurt – hurting like hell over and over again.

 And that’s what I felt when I saw Jessica kissing Yoona.

“Yah, why aren’t you two getting up yet? Do you like kissing each other that much?” Sooyoung and I shouted at the same time, like our heart and mind were connected and synchronized to tell both Yoona and Jessica that it shouldn’t have been between the two of them.

Because despite of the fact that I have had tried to hide and control this feelings I have for the person that I love, how could I do that when I see that person in almost every waking moment of my Girls’ Generation life? How could I not fall when that person can make me laugh with one word, even a gesture alone? How could I hide my feelings any longer when I would fall deeper and deeper at her imperfections day by day?

How could I control all of my senses when Jessica is on top of the person I love, kissing her? How could I, when the person that I heart, I like, I love – has always been, Im Yoona!

Jessica’s POV

I wrote a one-shot fanfiction once, out of boredom. I know it's very surprising, being lazy and all (not the writing part, I'm obviously not good at it but I tried), the mind-blowing part was that I even finished a one-shot. Anyways, it's about Yoona and me...accidentally kissing and realizing that we felt something more for each other than what we have now. But I never thought that that fiction would came into reality. Not that I never wished for it to happen.

I was shocked but I was also having the time of my life on top of Yoona with our lips still connected since Yoona seemed to be in a catatonic state or something when Yuri…together with Sooyoung and Seohyun barged in – ruining this perfect moment for YoonSicretives and most of all, me. 

Sooyoung, along with Yuri surprised me as well that they simultaneously yelled at Yoona and me and asked us if we liked kissing each other that much since we haven’t gotten up for almost eight seconds already. Well, I do like kissing especially if the person I’m kissing is Im Yoona...Sooyoung knows that. So what is wrong with Sooyoungie? I thought she supported me and my feelings for Yoona. Why did she act like I was cheating on her or something? Yuri’s worse. I thought she liked Minho but I think she just realized something here. It’s either she likes me or for the love of all the Twin Troopers, Yoona?!

And I don’t support either.

But even if Yuri’s also riding the deer express, I’m ecstatic that I’m finally Yoona’s first at something too. I love Yuri and many fan cams witnessed that love but it’s never the same with Yoona. Maybe that’s the reason why sometimes love screws friendships…because friends would realize that there were things that are worth fighting other than a bond born on platonic love...and I’ll surely fight for this one because I'm Yoona's something too.

“Mwuaaaaaaahahahahahahihihihihihi” I cannot stop laughing and feeling giddy even if it’s just inside my head. Can you imagine the control I have right now to not go beserk or just to even jump violently? I inwardly patted my back. This is my karma for patiently waiting and it is gooood. In your face Kwon! Not that we’re having a competition or anything considering you’ll totally win on that because I’ll let you, since it would be tiring, and it’s not like I’m bragging that I kissed Yoona first, no, I’d never do that – that’s crazy…and I’m only crazy for Yoona. That doesn’t count, right?

However, considering that Sooyoung and Yuri were glaring at us, I finally stood up. I was amazed to the fact that Yoona was lying still. I mean, did she enjoy it too much that she still wanted more…much more? Is it because it can't even be considered a kiss since it was just a collision of our lips? Why would she want that when Yuri, Sooyoung and the maknae’s in front of us? She’s not an exhibitionist, is she? Aish, what the hell, Jess, why are you even thinking of wildly preposterous things? Argh! I'm such a byun.

“Y-Yoong, a-are you okay? Let me help you up” I reached for her hand, putting a happy expression but acting like our lips never touched a few seconds ago.

“T-thanks, unnie. I…I’ll go to my room and change. Excuse me” She hurriedly went to her room without looking back to all of us.

Yoona, are you that disappointed that it’s me and not Yuri? Did you want her to be your first girl kiss, too?

I silently sighed. I felt depressed all of the sudden that I realized, I can never be too happy…accidental kissing and karmas are only good at fan fictions.

Yoona’s POV

I hurriedly went to my room and sat on the edge of the bed, eyeing the floor remembering what happened. What kind of day is this? I was fooling around with Yuri all day and then I found myself accidentally kissing Sica-unnie and felt so awkward with her unexpectedly. It shouldn’t be awkward, right? We all kissed each other all the time – well, kissing on the lips was never part of any given time…except that one other time but this one’s different too. Sica-unnie didn’t seem to mind that we kissed and here I am panicking about it. Why is my heart racing this fast like that time? I’ve been kissed many times before so what’s the difference with Sica-unnie’s? Is it because it was just an accident? Would I want it not to be the case?

Babo, Yoona~yah!

I am mentally banging my head right now on an imaginary wall for thinking such things. I’m in love with Yuri so why would I think of liking to kiss Jessica-unnie? It would be like cheating on Yuri even though she’s never going to feel more for me than treating me like and me being like her twin little sister.

Nevertheless, as what Yuri asked me earlier, I do like seeing Jessica-unnie genuinely happy since it brushes off that cold aura surrounding her that gives people the impression of her being a snob. But with Yuri, I like seeing her happy the most because her happiness makes me genuinely happy more.

“Jessica seemed so happy, are you happy that she’s happy, Yoong?” Maybe I was so engrossed with my thoughts that I didn’t even sense that Yuri went inside our room.

“W-what? Yeah, of course I’m happy for her Yul. Why would you even ask that?” I replied while I was still lowering my head not facing her.

“I don’t know. Maybe I wanted to know too much, if you’re happy that Jessica’s happy that the two of you kissed.”

I lift my head up, narrowing my eyes towards Yuri. What is she even saying? She’s not making any sense anymore. Why would Jessica-unnie be overjoyed with a kiss shared by the two of us? She isn’t gay, is she? Does Sica-unnie like me more than a sister, a member and a Krystal look-alike? No way. W-wait, why am I unanticipatedly feeling delighted when it’s not even a fact…and I like Yuri. I'm in love with her.

“It was an accident Yul. No one’s happy about it” I said nonchalantly to make her stop with the grilling.

“It didn’t look that way seeing that it took you both way too long to get up. I think you two enjoyed it”

Is Yuri fuelling a fight because of a stupid accidental kiss?

“Unnie, I don't like the way you tease anymore and I think we’re both tired already. We should rest but since you’re not thinking a little straight right now, I think I’ll go sleep in Seohyunnie’s room.”  I got up and was about to leave when she grasped my arm preventing me from moving further.

“You would only call me ‘unnie’ when we’re out in public or you’re being mad at me, Yoong." She said smiling dolefully. "I’m sorry for not thinking straight, I stopped thinking straight a long time ago…I’ll let you go right now but please, just answer me this time. Are you happy about the kiss?” She asked as she let go of my arm.

Yul, why on earth are you pressing this question on me? Are you jealous? Hold on, is Yuri jealous that I kissed Jessica-unnie? Is Yuri secretly dating Sica-unnie behind our backs? Is YulSic, real?

I suddenly remembered when I saw Sica-unnie absorbedly staring at Yuri at the after party of our concert. Is this the clear evidence of my assumptions? I felt like I was duped and I was enraged. Is my heart going to get broken and Yuri wouldn’t even know about it? Uhuh, but if she wants the truth, I have to at least give it to her.

“Yes, I’m happy about that freaking kiss, unnie. Did that answered your question? Was that the answer that you’re looking for? I guess not since you like Sica-unnie a lot. Are you happy now that we’re almost fighting about it? Are you h---” I unintentionally yelled at her, looking frustrated but she cut me off.

“No, I’m not happy. Why would I be when I’m so freaking jealous? And it's not because I’m in love with Sica, it’s because I’m in love you, Yoona! Ooh crap. I tongue-slipped” Yuri instinctively bit her finger preventing her from saying anything else.

The sound-proofing of our room is scheduled on the day of my flight to Jeju and Yuri’s scheduled filming for her movie which is the day after tomorrow so I could only presume that our members downstairs incomprehensively heard the commotion inside this room.

We were both shocked at her confession. Yuri suddenly blurted out that she’s jealous and that she’s in love – with me!  I couldn’t even process what’s going on right now. Is this what Taeyeon-unnie feels every time Tiffany-unnie’s talking to her so fast – in English?

My best friend and my roommate is in love with me as I am in love with her. For years of silently hoping that this day would come, it finally did. I could see how terrified she is right now. How worried she is for what my answer would be. I couldn’t help but giggle that she even said the last part…’oh crap, I tongue-slipped’. ClumsYul. But I’m glad she did.

“Yul, a-are you being serious when you said that? Did you mean it for real? N-not like that time?” I slowly asked looking at her, hoping she would say yes.

“Will you change the way you look at me when I say, yes? Because I meant every word of it Yoong, I really do like you…more than I should for a member, for a girl. But I don’t want my confession to change the way we are, the way we treat each other before this. I let my jealousy got the best of me and I don’t want you to feel awkward around me. I’m still Yuri, your best friend and roommate whom would stay up late with you so you can tell any story you wanted me to listen to…even if that means having you telling stories about your liking for Jessica” She said in a plaintive voice.

I guess, I went overboard with the ‘I felt happy with the kiss’ confession since I saw how devastated Yuri is right now.

Out of boredom, I tried to read fan fictions about YoonYul once and I even browsed at YoonSic tags, too. I didn't know why I did that but one one-shot struck me. The author really conveyed the feelings of someone with unrequited love and used accidental kissing as a way for them to realize how they feel for each other. Thinking about it now, I gently frowed at the thought of having accidental kisses just to realize your feelings for another, it seems selfish. Sheesh, Yul…you never tried to fight before. You easily let go and gave me to Jessica-unnie without even trying or asking how I feel for you. I’m a bit disappointed but if I let this go too and I wouldn’t fight for us now, I might lose you again. Having you confess was brave enough even if I know that we’ll still have to keep this a secret to everyone…until you’re ready to dare…so I’ll just have to accept what I got.

“It would change everything, actually. I couldn’t look at you anymore like a best friend would look at her best friend. Also, I couldn’t think about you anymore as a roommate would think about her roommate. Because you’re more than that to me, we’re more than that – at this moment. Because the truth is, I slipped and fell for you a long time ago too, Yul…even now, I’m still in love with you” I smiled.

Yuri started to grin widely and pulled me into a hug before saying, “If this is what I would get for being jealous, I would gladly do it every time. And Yoong, you owe me a kiss, too” 

"Kkab" I chortled before hitting Yuri in the arm.

I could feel her heart beat rising as did mine but amidst our comfortable hug, I was confounded as to why Sica-unnie suddenly came into my mind...when I accepted Yuri’s confession?

“Yoona, can we talk?”  

Sica-unnie, without a warning, opened the door while Yuri and I were both still hugging. Oh my, did she hear about our conversation? We let go of each other and I froze, acting like it was just a simple hug from a comforting friend. Because as much as I wanted to tell the world and Sica-unnie what Yuri and I are now, I couldn’t and wouldn’t – not until I know why a part of me is uncertain about my feelings for Yuri. I saw that Jessica-unnie shrugged off what she saw and just asked Yuri to leave the two of us in the room for a while so we can talk. Yuri glanced at me worriedly before walking out.

“About w-what, Sica-unnie?” I casually asked hoping she wouldn't notice how nervous I am. 

“About us…because I like you”

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hypothetically speaking, if you’re already together with the one you like you, are you the kind of person who would you show the world the things you do, your I love you’s…like publicly displaying your affection for each other or would you rather be affectionate with each other privately?

By the way, do you want to know what Yuri thought the first time she saw Yoona? Well, you should know that Yuri thought that life is like a boat!

Thank you to markaxel and Bluebrain for upvoting!