YURI’S MISTAKE

“As they say, you cannot close your heart to the things you don't want to feel. Then crap, I’m gay…”

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My Mom would always tell this story about me that when I was a little girl that she was so worried that I might turn out boyish because of my constantly hanging out with my brother. I was so sporty and laid-back that I would get bruises from playing with my brother and his group – I didn’t mind it at all. I would always think and feel like I’m one of the boys that this is, where I belonged.

My brother would always tease me that I would get a girlfriend before he does because of the way I look. At age 10, I was already tall, a bit tanned, with great physique and I like hanging out with different sets of people…being playful, playing pranks but I would still feel alone. We would hang out and I don’t mind the teasing since I know I’m a girl and girls get boyfriends not a girl too, but I would feel empty sometimes that something…or even someone is missing.

I know how to dance and sing a bit so I joined SM's Annual Youth Best Contest in 2001 just for the heck of it. My Mom was very supportive saying that if I develop into an idol, I may become more girly so she wouldn’t worry much about my future.

Luckily, or should I say…out of my amazing talent and looks, I won and I started training at SM Entertainment.

 윤율 윤율 윤율 윤율

Flashback

“Hey kid, you shouldn’t wear your shoes inside the training area”

I was about to step inside SM’s training area for the first time when three people blocked my way like they own the place. One of them has this cold aura that gives off something that says I shouldn’t mess with her, the other one was holding junk foods with her both hands (a shikshin?) but she was so thin and we’re almost of the same height, the last one of them...she seemed like someone who was just trolling me into believing that she’s scary like a choding... and I like chodings (not the erted version of the word). But having the three of them in my way and being here for the first time, I have to respect my seniors since they seemed terrifying when combined.

“Oh, I didn’t know that. Thank you for your warning. How nice of you” I bowed at them before entering without my shoes but I heard them giggle. I shrugged it off.

As I entered the training area of SM Entertainment, I saw everyone was wearing shoes. Damn it, I’ve been played.

“Hi everybody, I’m Yuri, Yuri Kwon. I’m still new here so please take good care of me” I said as I was introducing myself to everyone. I glanced at the people around me and I saw those three whispering something to each other while looking at me. What are they planning now? But whatever it was, I don’t let anyone mess with me that easily. They still don’t know anything about KkabYul.

I was eating in the cafeteria when the three of them approached my table and sat across me.

“So you’re Yuri…the kid who bested thousands in dancing?” The shortest of them asked judging me from head to to…rso? Well, that’s the part that she could see.

“This dark kid doesn’t even seem to be a dancer, Hyo. Maybe they had mistaken her for another and just took her because it was so dark and they couldn’t see” The tall one made fun of me while munching some chips. They’re really testing my patience.

“She maybe dark but she’s still cute…I kinda like her” The icy one whispered before standing up and getting really close to my face that I had to hold my breath (literally). She’s the prettiest in my opinion. Girls can have girl crushes too, right?

“Yah, you only like her because she looked like Krystal…nothing more” The shikshin nonchalantly yelled.

The girl with the cold aura smiled for the first time, it was breathtaking (not literally), and wrapped her arms around the tall girl’s back, back-hugging her. “You easily get jealous, Sooyoungie. Don’t worry, I like you more” as she hugged her tighter making the taller girl grin widely before that icy girl sat down again.

Are this two in some kind of a relationship? Are girl to girl relationships allowed in here? Or is it even allowed?

I shrugged it off since it’s none of my business anyways but if ever they’re in a relationship, man, that Sooyoungie is one lucky girl – if Sooyoungie is her real name.

“Yes, I’m that Yuri. I-I’m not that dark, just a little t-tanned and I can dance you perpetually hungry person named Sooyoungie. What kind of a name is that? And you, (I stared at the cool girl and she raised an eyebrow)…I h-have nothing to say” I meekly said before lowering my head, looking at their shoes grinning because I just had a pranking idea.

“W-what did you just say, dark kid? You should respect your ‘unnies’ you know and Jessica made that nickname for me and I like it. My name is Sooyoung…w-wait, it still sounds funny but…what kind of a name is Yuri? Do know what your name means in Japanese?” I raised an eyebrow at her…does my name in Japanese mean takoyaki because I love it so much? Nah!

What does Yuri mean in Japanese? But this swimming person is really weird and funny. She said all of that while alternately munching her chips and sipping her drink.

“Soo, stop it already. I think you’re creeping her out. Don’t mind, Sooyoung, she’s usually like that. You’ll get used to it – I hope” The Hyo person said, motioning Sooyoung to stop eating.

“So, you are all older than me? W-wait, we’re already bantering when you haven’t even properly introduced your selves.” I said as I went under the table acting like I was tying my shoelace for almost a minute, seeing as they’re too busy minding anyways, before popping out grinning.

“R-right, I’m Hyoyeon, Hyoyeon Kim. I love dancing too that’s why asked you earlier if you are that Yuri. I want to meet my competition. And I was born on September of ‘89” She seemed friendly but hella’ scary competitive.

“This is so childish. I’d rather be somewhere else.” The icy girl said crossing her arm but Hyoyeon used her elbow to strike her. “Ouch! Fine. I’m Jessica Jung and before you think about it, yes I know how to speak in English and no, I’m not in any romantic relationship so you still have a chance. And I’m older than Hyoyeon because I was born on April” Jessica said smirking confidently. Amazing, is she a psychic or something? Those are the things I would think of if she hadn’t said it first. I like her but she’s kind-of-intimidating in a way.

“Oh, my turn, my turn” Sooyoung cheerfully said while raising her hand like someone’s picking her to eat something for free. “Dark kid, I’m your Choi Sooyoung-unnie. Sica and Hyo are my best friends so you better treat us with respect since we’re older than you, okay? But you’re alright kid, even for someone with a name of Yuri!” She loudly laughed while tapping my left shoulder.

This person sure is weird. “What year were you born?” I said nonchalantly.

“Ooh, I haven’t told you yet? I’m February…1990” She nodded and smirked.

“Ooh! It’s very nice to meet the three of you. I hope we can become friends but since you tricked me earlier, I just have this urge to get even” I said after standing up while they looked at me confusingly. “And Sooyoungie, I’m December, 19…89! I’m your unnie so I don’t think I can treat you with the respect you want, dongsaeng” I smirked at her, bowed to Jessica and Hyoyeon before hurriedly walking away.

I hide myself in a corner after, to see how my finished work goes. Sooyoung stood up to follow me but after she stood she could no longer walk on her own because her shoelaces were tied with both Jessica and Hyoyeon that she sat down over and over again. “ Augh! I’ll get you for this Kwon”. Soo never got me of course, that I even did that again years after to the eight of them. But it wasn’t just Sooyoung who yelled then but the three of them. I’m dead.

But undoubtedly, I didn’t die after that; I became friends with them actually. I insincerely apologized to Sooyoung by giving her chips to chomp on for a week because Jessica went HellSica on me for involving her on my prank. Hyoyeon on the other hand, just punched me in arms so hard while laughing. What weirdos; but, I wasn’t that lonely anymore because I had these girls as my friends.

 윤율 윤율 윤율 윤율

It’s been a year after I started training at SM and we’re about to meet new trainees today.

“Yul, you want to prank the first one to get in? I’ll help you.” Sooyoung asked, putting her long arm around my neck.

We’re really close to each other now, the four of us. Sooyoung never called me ‘unnie’ since she wants a dongsaeng and not anyone close to her as an ‘unnie’ and I’m okay with that. For me, honorifics were used if you’re not that close and comfortable to the person you’re using it to…or you’re just really polite.

“Maybe. What do you have in mind, Soo?” I grinned slyly.

The door opened and the first new trainee arrived when Soo was still talking, “Well, we could---blah---blah---blah“

I don’t know what happened but Sooyoung was slowly muted since I could no longer hear her. Even the people around me seemed to stop like time paused. And the person who entered the room walked in in slow motion, radiating. Did I die? Am I in heaven? Is she an angel?

“Earth to Yuri?! Hello! Anyone home in there?” I blurredly saw Jessica snapping her fingers at me. “And I thought I was the spacing out one”

“W-what? What happened?” I saw the three of them surrounding me with Sooyoung pouting.

“Dang! She’s hypnotized” Hyoyeon said shaking her head while making a clicking sound with her tongue.

“Y-Yul, we never got to prank the first one to arrive since you look so dazed. My plan…” Sooyoung wiped her imaginary tears from bogus sobbing, “But you looked like an anime character falling in love at first sight, so freaking cheesy, Yul” before laughing noisily that the new trainees were looking at us with both fright and confusion.

“Seriously, what happened to you?” Jessica asked, concerned.

“I…I don’t know either. We’re about to start. Let’s forget about it” I sounded uncertain as I dragged them near the new trainees because they’ll be introducing themselves and I’m thrilled to know what her name is.

“Hi! My name is Yoona, Im Yoona. Nice to meet you all” The angel…I mean, the trainee who entered in what seemed like slow motion said shyly before bowing in a 90-degree angle to everyone.

Her name is Yoona. She’s so polite and what a pretty name for someone as beautiful as her. I mean, I wouldn’t lie, Jessica’s still the prettiest in my opinion but this girl – she’s something else. She just walked in and she already made my heart beat slower and faster at the same time. Her doe eyes, I can’t help but stare at them. They made me calm, like I was transported into a different realm, a heavenly one. Her height, face and her hair compliment her nose and her thin lips. Her neck is longer than most people and her voice is deeper than most girls but I think that, that made her cuter – and I never felt anything like that for Jessica.

That’s when I realized, for the very first time, that I fell in love and went gay – for Im Yoona!

“Woah, that Yoona seemed so cute. She looked like Krystal