Areum scrutinized the room with a hint of disapproval. It was natural, seeing that the room was plain white.

Luhan then walked in with her bags. He set the two little suitcases that supposedly carried all her clothes next to the wardrobe.

“This room had been saved for you for a long time. I, myself, never got to know what it was being saved for until the oath was in my hands,” Baekhyun said, eyeing the room sentimentally.

Areum barely heard him. “Did I really spur it?”

Her eyes were fixed on the playground in the view of the window, observing the children playing while she waited for Baekhyun to give an answer. The long pause was enough to give one to her.

“Meeting you… may have made him realized what he really wanted and what he’d do to get it,” Baekhyun tried to explain.

But the words were clear to Areum. Meeting her really got him killed, indirectly or not.

She smiled weakly, her gaze falling to the floor, before she stood up. “I’d like to go for a walk outside. Need some air.”

Baekhyun didn’t answer and gave her an odd look.

“Hey, you can trust me.”

Finally, Baekhyun gave a nod and Areum left him alone in the suffocating white room. It was almost no different from the hospital room she had to be in.

The weather was so beautiful that it was making Areum tear. She had missed being outdoors. This was the first time in a long time that her pale skin was feeling the natural heat of the sun. She had gone to sit on the benches close to the playground she had seen earlier.

She wondered what it’d be like if she had been there when he was down in the dumps. She wondered how different it might be if they had stayed friends. Maybe both sides would’ve gotten more love than they had once they separated. Those feelings, of love, care and concern that had been the only things that people like Areum and Luhan ever craved for, might’ve been felt if they had just stayed through together.

At this point, Areum may have felt a little “ditched” because Luhan chose the easy way without her. He, who had better circumstances in life, had choices and it was easier for him to execute them. Meanwhile, she was stuck in this sick world, alone.

Maybe a part of her still felt guilty, because she had caused this. Because she gave him bad thoughts. Because she hadn’t been there to fix her mistake. But it was still simply undeniable how she felt betrayed. She couldn’t do this alone. It didn’t seem likely enough.

As a ball rolled to the tips of her toes, she bent forward to pick up the baseball. She surveyed her surroundings for the owner of the ball. A young boy with heavy eye bags and baggy clothes ran over to her. His face, although looking absolutely tired, had a smile so amazing that it made Areum soften. The silly grin had somehow lightened the burden in her heart that she didn’t even realize existed.

“Can I have my ball back?” he asked with a sweet voice.

Areum studied his features, trying to understand the story behind the happy yet tired face. The boy was so intriguing to her. But it could possibly be due to the fact that she hadn’t seen a face other than the nurse’s, Baekhyun’s and recently, Kai’s, in a long, long time. This boy was a new face after so long. But Areum could tell it wasn’t just because he was a new face. This boy had something to him that made people like Areum and Luhan ponder a little.

It was when a few other boys who looked like him ran over did she realize where she was. She was in the playground next to an orphanage, in which the playground was probably frequented by the children who lived in the orphanage. The boys all wore baggy, dull-coloured clothes and had eye bags, bad postures yet wide smiles on their faces.

“Noona, can we have our ball back?” one of the boys asked.

“Yah, you forgot to say please!” another nudged at the second boy.

A smile broke out on Areum’s face. They were too cute.

She handed the ball to the first boy who came to her, smiling.

“Thank you, stranger noona. You resemble Uncle Luhan a lot!” he whispered the last part, a wicked yet innocent grin now playing on his lips.

Areum’s smile vanished. She could only blink as they ran back to their sandbox where the game of baseball was going on.

As tears clouded her eyes, she aimlessly walked, hoping she’ll arrive to her new home soon. The next thing she realized was that she had gotten lost, just like her heart long had.

---

The sound of a can falling gave her a shock. Areum hugged her legs to her chest, seeking warmth in herself. But it was too cold.

The sun had long set and the seclusion caused an unusual feeling to settle within her. The word for this place was “creepy”, no doubt.

Looking around, she realized no one was going to stumble upon this place to save her, maybe only to worsen the situation, if anything. She got up from the bag she found that she decided to sit on. As she was about to find a way out of the secluded area, her feet kicked one of the cans on the floor. She looked around and found more cans sitting by the corner. They were spray cans.

Areum tried shaking them and upon realization that they were all new, she threw all the colours she liked into the bag she had found, an idea forming in her head.

Once again, she studied her surroundings and picked her path.

At the edge of her heart, she acknowledged that even if she was walking in circles, she wouldn’t give up until she found her way back. Baekhyun must be waiting after all.

True enough, she finally saw a familiar ball lying on the ground after much walking. When she looked up, there was the same playground waiting for her, except now empty. The house next to it that was now fully-lit on the inside with bright yellow lights gave off a homey mood and Areum could feel it.

She approached the door and gave a few knocks, not really expecting to be heard. But the door opened a few seconds later and an old woman with grey hair, smiling wrinkles and sharp cheekbones opened the door, greeting her with a smile so sweet it melted Areum’s heart.

“Yes, dear? What brings you hear tonight?” she inquired softly.

Areum blinked, almost not used to such a tone.

“I- I..” Areum couldn’t speak, not even sure herself why she was there.

“Do you want to come in?” the woman asked, but Areum quickly declined, reminded of the words she had heard earlier that day.

“N-no. I came here to return this baseball. I reckon it belongs to one of the children,” Areum held up the ball to the woman.

Surprised, the woman raised her eyebrow a little and took the ball.

“Why, thank you for coming over to return it. Junhyung would love to hear that his ball had returned,” the woman cheerfully.

“It was nothing, ma’am. Well, have a great night ahead… I’ll be taking my leave then,” Areum bowed.

Before the woman could say anything else, Areum had walked too far away to hear her offer to have dinner with them. The only thing she could think of was how mysterious that young girl was. Dealing with children with issues while still in their youths, the woman could tell that Areum might be a little like her little bundle of joys. She was just as broken.

Sincerest apologies for such a late update. It's been 5 months according to the "last updated" date in my records. Wish I could share with you the hell I've been through since that update. I may not have mentioned it before, but I think that my story had came true as my own best friend committed suicide about a month after I started this fic. I may or may not be as broken as Areum in the story and I'm not even sure if this story is made up or real.

I just want to take this opportunity to tell everyone to acknowledge that we are indeed in pain. The first step is to accept. We are hurt. And it's time everything became about us; about ourselves. Let's dedicate a moment to ourselves. We've been through our fair share of hell. It's time for us to heal. But, first, we need to give ourselves a chance for that. Nobody else, but ourselves, should matter at that moment that we've saved.

Take a walk. Taste happiness. Taste relief.

https://ilovetobrood.wordpress.com/