XⅢ. Sad Reality

Weeks passed. Mrs Choi also gave us our task for the group project. We needed to explain the word 'love' in every way and in connection to what actions followed because we 'loved'. It was an easy task, since the others got emotions that were hard to describe, but in the end not for us. Niel stopped talking to all of us and glued himself on Minsoo hyung. You could say that they were a couple by the sight of it but it was his mission to take care of Sunggyu hyung with him. And it was understandable that he didn't want to see his best friend anymore. We discussed that everyone got a part and searched about it at home by ourselves and after that we gathered together and discussed it. It went on better than expected and even if we were awkward together, while presenting our results we acted like nothing happened and got an A+ for it. Sungjong also distanced himself from me. Since the day Myungsoo confessed that I'm his number one, we less speak with each other and he spent all his free time with his bodyguard, Changhyun. At home he interacted more with Hoya and proofed us how good friends they were. I couldn't do a thing about it. Myungsoo was clingy and followed me wherever I went. I didn't have a free minute. Even after school at home, he made himself comfortable on my bed and cuddled with me. Though, it was nice, I still missed my little princess Jongie. I knew I should've cleared up my mind about me liking two persons at the same time, but with Myungsoo gripping onto me there was no way of getting this task done.

Today, (it was an afternoon like every other before) I was lying with Myungsoo on my bed, his arms around my waist and his face buried in my neck, him sighing in content. It was silent and I was afraid to break it, after all I didn't know what to say and where to start anyway?

"Myung?" I whispered, wondering if he was already asleep.

"Hmm?" He kissed my exposed skin on my collarbone.

I got a bit distracted and sighed. "What are you going to do about Niel? Aren't you best friends?"

"As if you care." he chuckled. "But to answer your question: Nothing. Why should I do something about him? I have you, right?"

My eyes widened. "B-but....you're bes-..!" Myungsoo captured my lips and left the sentence unspoken. I melted and gave in easily, after all I liked him. But this also had to end, because to lie at yourself isn't an option!

He had a cute smile on his lips after we parted. "We were. Past time."

"Don't lie to yourself!" I exclaimed, absolutely not happy about him taking advantages of my kindness.

'I know who he really does love.'

His smile didn't fade, instead it grew bigger and bigger with every word he said. "What are you trying to say?"

"Why won't you accept Niel?!?" I shouted, pushing him away, his back slamming against the wall behind my bed. "Why are you pretending to feel something you don't do?!?"

He blinked one time, then another time. His lips curled down a bit, his eyes revealed a tiny bit of hurt above the coldness that sparkled ever so often. "I'm not pretending." He straightened up himself and crossed his legs, glaring down at me.

"Don't you dare trying to lie at me!" I sat up and slapped his cheek. I didn't know where this came from, but my hand moved by itself. It was silent again and I felt bad, really bad.

'Why did I slap him??'

"I-i...sorry.." My eyes searched his face that was still facing his right. "I didn't want to.." I was unsure, should I take his hand in mine? I gathered up as much courage as I could and patted the back of his hand. He flinched at first, but let me do what I wanted after a few seconds. I convinced myself from going further and turned his face towards me with my index finger. I saw the tears and he didn't try to cover them up.

'I hurt him.'

I wiped the tears away, leaning forward and kissing his eyes.

He sniffed and looked at me. "H-he...I...I wa-want to be with y-you."

I searched for the truth in his eyes and was met with pain. He meant it. I just knew he did. I nodded, because we still were best friends with benefits. And I said I'll be there for him. I wouldn't break a promise, never!

His eyes sparkled again, knowing that he wasn't alone, that I was there to comfort him. "Tha-thank you."

"But I've a request." I tipped his nose and then traced my fingers along the red mark of my hand on his cheek. I thought it still hurt because he gritted his teeth for a second. "Stop being clingy."

It was silly of me to think that Myungsoo would tell me the truth right away. It was not in his nature, he was stubborn in this thing called love. I didn't know what I should do know. Everything seemed like a mess, a really big mess, wich got bigger and bigger the more I was with Myungsoo. But the boy didn't want to hear me out and always ended up crying like a baby in front of me. It was frustrating and exhausting. Who knew that I'd be in this situation? I never would've guessed this. And even if, it wouldn't help me at all. Now, thinking about it and observing my friends and their bodyguards, I got the feeling that because of this couple thing our group got split apart. I thought about it many times and finally came to the conclusion that we never ate together. Since the day they came and moved in, we never sat together on the table, chatting loudly and happily, forgetting the world around us (like in the past). I missed them, the friends that went to bad and good times with me and supported me to death. I missed those silly and childish remarks of them, them nagging on me because I was behaving like a child, again, and laughing my heart out because they were the best thing my life had ever experienced. I missed everything they taught me and everything they messed up oh so often. I missed them being stupid jerks and being mad at one of us, because they were both silly boy's who couldn't get over their pride to apologize. I missed them encouraging me to approach Sungjong and tell him my feelings, how I felt for him for years (even if I stubbornly shook my head and never let a single word about it slipped my mouth). My mind was spinning. All those thoughts were too painful. It hurt. They were near but also so far away. I couldn't reach for them, I couldn't say a thing to them. My vision got blurry, I didn't even noticed the tears that started their way down my cheeks, making me sob uncontrollably.

I was alone. Again. Feeling that empty spot in me again, I got t