That word..

“Chansung-ah..” Calls Nichkhun as he walks over.
“Hey, you with us?” Nichkhun sits beside Chansung when the younger boy nods.
“What was that all about huh?” Nichkhun asks as he puts his arm around the still shaking maknae’s shoulder.
“It’s nothing hyung..” Chansung answers while shaking his head, his eyes looking down, afraid the others will see the truth in his eyes.
“What? It’s obviously something Chansung. You never had a problem swimming before. Plus you’ve been acting weird the whole day. Just tell us already.” Taecyeon urges, concered with the maknae’s behaviour.
“WELL I DON’T WANT TO ALRIGHT!!” With that Chansung storms off leaving his hyungs behind. He changes his clothes, packs his things and goes into the van.
“MAKNAE! SHOW SOME RESPECT!” Wooyoung shouts to Chansung’s back.
“Let him be Woo. We’ll clear this all when we’re back.” Nickhun says as he calms the shorter boy.


The boys pack their things and thank the staff before going into the van. When they reach it they can see Chansung already sitting in the back with his eyes closed, shutting himself off from the others. The tension can be felt during their journey back to their dorm. The radio is off and nobody dares to say anything. They worry about their maknae’s behaviour but at the same time, mad at him for being difficult. During the whole thing, Junsu and Junho kept silent to their self. Both Junbrothers wondered what more secrets Chansung hid from them. Junho tries to connect what had just happened, to the other things that occurred with Chansung this last few days. But Junho can’t think of anything instead, increasing his curiosity. They continue their ride in silence.


Arriving at their dorm, Minjae-hyung reminds them before they get back up,
“You’re free until tomorrow. I want whatever problems you haveto be solved before that. Got it?”


After several nods and ‘yeah hyung’ to Minjae, the boys get out from the van and up to their dorm. Chansung walks the furthest behind his hyungs, not ready to face them just yet and like before, everyone walks in silence. Finally in their dorm, the boys feel tired and ready to crash any moment now but Minjae-hyung’s words stop them from doing so. However, no one dares to speak. Taecyeon, Nichkhun and Wooyoung are sitting in the living room, Junsu is in the kitchen drinking some water with Junho and Chansung has locked himself up in the room. Nichkhun nudges Taec’s arm and sends a look that says, ‘You do it.’ Taec only replies with a head shake and a look that says, ‘why don’t you do it?’ They both seem to want to avoid a moody Chansung. It’s really rare to see the maknae acting like this, so when it happens, they don’t know how to deal with it.

Wooyoung, who had been sitting in the living room with two of his hyungs, waits for someone to say something. He’s really tired and annoyed with the tension surrounding their dorm. He’s still mad at Chansung for being rude to them before and seeing the hyungs arguing about who is going to talk first just makes it worse. Unable to take it anymore, Wooyoung gets up from his seat.

“I have had it enough with this.” With that he walks to Chansung’s room and knocks on the door to urge Chansung to come out.

“Chansung, you heard what Minjae-hyung said right? Come on out and talk. Now.” Wooyoung walks back to the living room where his two hyungs are as Junsu and Junho join them.

Chansung is on his back lying on the bed with an arm covering his eyes. He is back in his memory. He can feel it, the water that’s flowing around him, the helplessness he feels when no one is there to help him and the coldness as well, the darkness that engulfs him when he starts to sink into the water. He can feel it all over again. He’s caught up in his thoughts when a knock snaps him back to reality. He hears Wooyoung asking him to come out, sounding mad. A pissed off Wooyoung is nothing to mess with so Chansung gets up and sits for awhile as he wipes the tears that he didn’t realize had spilled. After a minute to compose himself, Chansung gets up and comes out of the room to face his hyungs.

After several minute of waiting, Chansung is finally out and standing infront of his hyung’s in the living room. Everyone is speechless for a moment when they see how bad Chansung is looking right now. He’s been crying thinks Wooyoung, suddenly feeling guilty for being mad at the maknae before. He gets up and offers his seat to Chansung.

“Here Chan, sit.”

Already feeling trapped and crowded, Chansung replies with his eyes on the floor, “It’s alright, I’m fine standing.”

Wooyoung shakes his head and sits back down. Silent fills the room until someone starts to speak.
“Chansung-ah, do you have any problems?” asks Taec in a worried voice. When Chansung just shake his head he continues,
“Then what happen just now at the shooting? It’s like you lost it for a second. During practice earlier, you kept making mistakes. It’s not like you Chan.” Taec becomes irritated when Chansung only shrugs his head and still doesn’t look up. The older boy blows.
“Did you lose your voice or something? Hey look at me you cowa--.”
“Taec!” Junsu stops Taecyeon before he finishes the word. But it’s too late because Chansung knows what’s coming. Everyone turns their head towards Chansung when they hear a snicker from him.
“Coward right? Huh, you’re right hyung, I’m a coward! I’m weak! I can’t do anything right! No matter how hard I try I’ll never be as good as you guys right?” Chansung says in one breath.
“What are you saying Chan?” Nichkhun asks. He can’t take it when the younger boy starts to downgrade himself.
“That’s not what I mean.”Taec tries to explain his words.

Chansung is breathing in short breaths now. I need to get out from here. Chansung takes a deep breath and continues, “But it’s the truth. Look I’m sorry, alright. I’m sorry for bursting like that. Seriously there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m sorry if I’m a trouble for you guys. Let’s just forget about this and focus about our activities right now okay? It’s more important. I’m really sorry.” With that Chansung bows to his hyungs, turning and walking towards the door.
During the whole conversation Junho just sat there wondering whether he should tell the other hyungs about Chan’s problem or not. He can’t stand seeing them arguing like this. He looks up at Chansung and sees the taller boy’s breathing is slightly off. He starts to panic when Chansung moves towards the door. He immediately gets up and grabs maknae’s arm when he walks past him.

“Where are you going?” he asks Chansung.
“I’m going for a walk.” Chansung replies without looking at him.
“No, not when you’re like this. At least let me go with you. We both know you’re not just going to walk. Your breathing is off Chan.” Junho makes sure the last part was not heard by the others.
“It’s night already.” Taec says from behind.
“Yeah-hyung. Don’t worry, I remember we got schedule tomorrow.” With that Chansung sends a look at Junho that says please I need to go, alone.
“Please be careful and call me if you need anything alright?” Junho lets go of Chansung’s arm and the younger boy walk past him and Junsu and leaves the dorm.
“That’s not what I meant.. ugh” Taec gets up and storms off to his room.
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When Chansung is mad or has many things in his head, he clears it off by walking around in a quiet place. Walking, which usually turns into a slow jog. If that still doesn’t work he’ll run, because by running he can calm himself and focus on something else, forgetting his problems. That’s what he’s been doing for about an hour and a half now. What started as a walk with no jacket in a cold night, Chansung is now running. We both know you’re not just going to walk. He remembers what Junho said. You know me well Junho, he thinks to himself. Don’t hurt yourself. Just when he remembers what Junsu said to him before he left,, he feels his chest tighten. The sudden feeling causes him to slow his running as he stumbles to the ground. Chansung’s now on his knees with one hand on the ground supporting him while another gripping his chest, trying to force his weak lungs to get in more air. But his efforts fail. He tries to use his inhaler but then he remembers he lost it. Unable to hold himself up anymore, Chansung collapses to the ground gasping for air.

Gasp. “Hyung...”

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dun dun dun... lol
thanks for reading..^^
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