After another busy day they’re finally back at their dorm. The clock on the wall shows it’s 2 in the morning. Everyone already finished cleaning up and has gone off to bed, and the last one remaining is Junsu. Still feeling fresh from the shower, the oldest didn’t feel like sleeping yet. He decides to have a glass of warm milk hoping that it will help him sleep. He really wishes sleep will come fast because they have to wake up at 5 am tomorrow morning to start their schedule.  

Junsu sits alone in the dull light in the kitchen, drinking his milk as he hums a tune. “Hmmm… oh! That sounds good. I might start to write it when I’m free.” Lost in his thoughts while staring at the milk in front of him, he suddenly remembers something.  

Chansung.. What is wrong with you? He looked really pale last night. He barely speaks, barely looks at anyone and what’s with whispering with Junho all the time. And food? He didn’t even  snack before he went to sleep, that is one major problem there.  

Junsu gives a big sigh which slowly turns into a yawn. “Ah~ I better go sleep now.” Telling himself that he will ask the maknae tomorrow, he gets up, washes his glass and walks back to his room. That’s when he hears it.

“Help..” wheeze “Please..” cough. wheeze.

Earlier that night..

he hot shower he just took had really helped refresh his aching body. The only thing that’s on his mind now is sleep. On his way to his ‘bed’ Chansung runs into Junho.

Hey, how are you feeling?” Junho asks, making sure no one else but Chansung is in hearing range.
“I’m fine Junho, don’t..” That would have been believable if he didn’t just cough. “..worry.” Although Junho worries hearing the slight wheezing in Chansung’s voice, he didn’t want to press the matter.
“Look, just go to sleep already. Are you up for tomorrow’s schedule? If you’re not I’ll tell Minjae-hyung...”
“Tell him what?” Both Junho and Chansung almost jump in surprise when Junsu suddenly appears out of nowhere behind them.                                                                                                                    
“Hyung! Emm.. it’s nothing.” Junho quickly says.
With his eyes looking down, Chansung adds, “I think I’ll go to sleep now. Good night hyung, Junho” The maknae quickly leaves both Junho and Junsu standing there looking puzzled.                      
“What’s wrong with Chansung?” When Junho doesn’t answer the older boy waves his hand in front Junho’s face.
“Huh?” Finally getting Junho’s attention Junsu asks again,
“ I said, what’s wrong with Chansung?”        
“Oh! Chansung? Emmm..”  Junho needs to distract his hyung before he asks more questions.
“Hyung, do you smell that?” While quickly taking a whiff of his armpit Junsu replies,                               
“Smell what? I don’t smell anything”.                                                                                                                                          
“I think it’s from you hyung. Why don’t you take a quick shower?” Junho leaves Junsu as he pinches his nose. Looking up Junsu sees that Junho is nowhere to be found.                                                  
“What.. aishh” He replies, walking away to take his bath as he rambles about kids these day not respecting their hyungs in his daegu accent.

Luckily udong is sleeping in his own room tonight. If he wasn’t he sure wouldn’t be able to sleep because of this stupid cough. Chansung takes several deep breaths and waits for the sleep to come. Unlucky for him it’s not as peaceful as he wishes it to be.

Water. He feels really calm whenever he is in it. He loves the way it flows around him. He can see his family eating and laughing happily on the shore. He smiles and waves to them as he continues his swim. Suddenly he can’t move his legs. Panic, he begins flailing his arms hoping someone will notice and help him.
“Help...” He sinks into the water and comes back up again.
“Please..” After several minutes he can‘t take it anymore, his lung are burning from the  lack of oxygen and he feels dead tired. He start sinking into the water. The last thing he hears before completely going under is “Chansung!!”

Junsu goes to search for the voice he heard. He walks to the living room, thinking that the noise wouldn’t have come from the bedrooms rooms with closed doors. Two things he notices here. One, Wooyoung isn’t sleeping out here today and two, he doesn’t hear anything anymore. “Ah~ Maybe Chansung rambling in his sleep again. I better go sleep too.” He turns to go back to his room when he hears it again.

“Help...” Wheeze. “Help...” Cough Wheeze.

Concerned, Junsu turns back and crouches beside the younger boy. Now that he is closer he can clearly see the beads of sweat on Chansung’s forehead, the trembling of his body, and the wheezing in his breathing. When Chansung starts tossing and turning Junsu can’t take it anymore.He gently shakes Chansung’s shoulder.

“Channie-ah wake up, it’s just a dream.” But the maknae doesn’t wake up. Chansung becomes more restless and the wheezing seems to be louder. Junsu shakes harder.

“Chansung!!”

Chansung bolts up, panting like crazy, the wheezing still heard in his breathing.  Junsu doesn’t know what to do as he Chansung’s back hoping it will calm him down.

“Relax.. It’s okay... You’re safe now.”

 Realizing that Chansung still hasn’t come out of his nightmare, Junsu does the only thing that he thinks will calm the younger boy - it always helped him anyway. Junsu puts one hand around Chansung’s shoulder and his other hand hugs the maknae’s head to his chest while whispering, “Shh.. You’re alright, You’re safe now.”
Junsu rocks the younger boy back and forth. “Come on Channie snap out of it. Take a deep breath.” Feeling Chansung trembling lessen a little Junsu says softly, “There.. You alright now?” He looks at Chansung’s still trembling form.
Still shaken by his nightmare and not trusting his voice to speak, Chansung only manages to nod his head.

“I’ll go get you some water.” Junsu gets up and goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water. When he returns he sees Chansung in the same position but with his hand pounding his chest a little.       
“Here..” When Chansung takes the glass and starts drinking it, Junsu kneels in front of the maknae and asks,
“You sure you’re okay Chansungie?”                                                                                               
“Yeah hyung. Did I wake you up? I’m really sorry.” Junsu ruffles Chansung’s hair.
“It’s nothing, I didn’t sleep yet anyway. Emm... So, do you want to talk about it?” Junsu frowns when he sees Chansung is taken aback a little.
“No.. no hyung it’s just a bad dream. I know I shouldn’t have listened to Taec-hyung’s ghost story.” Chansung smiles a little to show that he is okay.
 Junsu shakes his head. “You know that you’re a bad liar right?  Come on Chan I can tell that you’re hiding something. Actually I wanted to ask you this since last night. You look pale, you’re not talking, I feel like you’re avoiding us. Just now, you were wheezing, I saw you pounding your chest and now you’re lying. Is there something wrong? Are you sick or something? Don’t make me worry here.” Junsu tells him as he sighs.
I’m really sorry for worrying you hyung. But it’s nothing, maybe it’s just stress. I’ll be okay after I get some more sleep, which you should also get too hyung. We need to wake up early tomorrow morning right? And you haven’t slept yet, you should go now.”
“But...” Junsu starts to say as Chansung starts to push him back to his room.
“No buts hyung... Go.” 
“Alright.. Aisshh this kid.” Junsu stands up and starts to walk away but stops short after a few steps and turns around.
“Hyung?” Chansung asks when he sees Junsu returning to lay down on the couch.
“I’ll be sleeping here tonight. Now go to sleep Channie.” Junsu lays on his side facing Chansung, his eyes already closed.
“But...”
“No buts Channie. Don’t think I want to accompany you, I’m just too lazy to climb that mountain they call a bunk. Now sleep.” Junsu says with his eyes still closed, his voice slurring a little.
Seeing his hyung already on his way to dreamland Chansung replies, “Yeah hyung, thanks again. Good night.”
Chansung smiles as he hears Junsu’s reply, getting quieter with each word. “Yeah yeah, love you too maknae...”

Chansung lies back on his mattress and waits for a while to make sure Junsu has fallen asleep. When he is, Chansung pulls something under his pillow and stares at it like it his mortal enemy. I never thought I’ll be using you again. The dream, the memory he really thought he had forget, an event that had change his life forever, still vivid in his eyes. shaking his head to rid off the memory, he sits up, tilting his head back slightly and breathes out,  then he put the mouthpiece in his mouth, taking a slow deep breath and at the same time pressing the inhaler’s canister down. He puts it back under his pillow, lies back down, closes his eyes and soon falls into a deep slumber.

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my favourite chapter^^

thanks for reading
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