”Yeah, yeah, I’m sick of hearing about you and dad. What about uncle Han and uncle Minseok?” Hansol says with annoyance laced in his voice.

”They ed and lived happily ever after,” Jongin says while pushing Hansol’s shoulder with a roll of his eyes.

”Oh there’s more than that, Jongin. Hm, well it took a while for Han to say Minseok’s name right. They fought a lot but it was over stupid stuff, y’know, the usual,” I say with a shrug.

”Aw c’mon! I want to know how they got Hyunsu.”

”You do know he’s adopted, right?” Jongin asks with an arched eyebrow.

Hansol pouts and huffs and pushes my shoulder. I glance at Jongin who shrugs at me and mouths something I don’t understand. “Fine, where do I start?”

--

Kim Minseok, to Han, was love at first site. When he looked at him he saw the stars and beyond. Believe what you want about love but the true definition was in Han’s eyes when he gazed upon Minseok. But do not be fooled, Hansol, they didn’t magically fall for each other or bump into each other at a cafe.

It was a normal day for us Chinese trainees, gossiping about the idols and other trainees in our native tongue was the usual afternoon. Then, the door in the practice room swung open revealing several Korean trainees who were going to join our class. Among the anxious crowd was a short, teeny tiny man with big cheeks and a smile that made Han want to punch a wall to regain what manliness he had (which was none).

It seemed easy to him, to walk up Minseok and sweep him off his feet and run off in the sunset. But it wasn’t quite that simple with many factors challenging Han. For example, the language barrier was extensive or maybe it was that Han forgot all Korean he had ever learned when he looked into Minseok’s almond eyes.

So here is a compilation of Han’s failed attempts at introducing himself and asking his dear Minseok out.

Attempt #1: Han ordered a specially tailored suit and gelled his hair back nice enough to look like Brad Pitt (only Chinese and not as manly). With his most expensive jewelry he strode into the SM building oozing confidence. He stopped many hearts that day, but unfortunately not Minseok’s.

When Han spotted Minseok laughing with a fellow training about something he didn’t care about, he walked over quickly with his long legs and slid right up to Minseok. He leaned against the wall, his elbow the only thing propping him up. “Hey, sweet cheeks. I’m Han, would you like to go on a date with me?”

Result: Being the laughing stock of the building for a month, a kick in the shin from Minseok’s well trained soccer legs, and personal embarrassment.

Attempt #2: Taking a smoother approach, Han decides to not bring Minseok a date but to bring the date to Minseok. He payed an over priced string quartet to arrive at the SM building at nine o’clock, sent a secret note to Minseok to meet at in practice room number five, and hand cooked kimchi, bul-go-gi, and baozi (which Han says looked like Minseok). His plan was to do a romantic dance but things don’t go as planned.

 

Result: Han learns that Minseok is trained in martial arts the hard way, he has no money till the end of the month due to the high fees of the string quartet, and personal embarrassment.

 

Attempt #3: After doing his research, Han learns that like himself Minseok was an avid soccer player. So naturally he wanted to assert his dominance by beating him in a soccer match. So after lots of convincing, Han managed to get Minseok in his soccer uniform and out on the field. But as the game played on, Han realized that Minseok was much better than he had anticipated.

Result: The loss of any manliness Han ever had, sore legs, a deflated soccer ball, and personal embarrassment.

At the peak of giving up all hopes of wooing Kim Minseok, the (not so) strangest thing happened. Sulking in a bar, Han orders some dumplings and soju to drink his feelings away. He felt defeated, what else could he do to woo Minseok? He’d done all he could and it was up to Minseok whether or not he saw Han worthy.

”Why so sad?” Came an all too familiar voice.

Han spins around to see Minseok in jeans and jacket. The simple attire only adds to his vision of Minseok in a domestic setting and he internally groans. “I’m not sad.”

”Can I sit?” Han nods and Minseok pulls out the bar stool and tells the waiter he wanted manju and jeotgal. “Is it because I beat you at soccer earlier?”

”No,” Han mumbles. He was so embarrassed, he thought he could win easy-peasy but no such luck came to him.

”Maybe I should’ve gone easier on you,” Minseok suggests with a giggle. The waiter brings the food to Minseok and he thanks him. “Do you want to eat some?”

“What is it?” Han says, eyeing the bun that Minseok was pointing to.

”It’s a sweet food, it tastes like sugar!” He says happily.

Han contemplates but recently the company was pressuring him to lose weight. He declines and Minseok shrugs while taking a big bite from the bun.

”How about this? Do you want some?” Minseok asks with a mouth full of bread. He points to the other dish.

”What’s this?”

”Hm, it tastes kind of salty,” He explains.

”No thank you,” Han mumbles. “You know what I do want?”

Minseok tilts his head in question. The waiter comes back with Han’s food. He picks up his chopsticks and holds up a dumpling. “Baozi.”

”Baozi? But you’re already eating some- oh,” Minseok says with realization. Han wiggles his eyebrows with newfound confidence. “Well the closest you’re coming to these buns is dance practice.”

”At least I’m close enough,” Han says with a shrug.

”Buuuuut, if you were to take me on a date tonight, theoretically, you might be able to get closer. But you know theoretically.”

Han swallows a mouth full of food and grins at Minseok. “Aaaaaand what if I picked you up at nine to take you to dinner, you know, theoretically?”

Minseok pretends to think and says “Then I should be in my extra-skinny jeans.”

”And a really tight shirt?”

”And a really right shirt.”

Han grins and slips from chair, leaving a few bills on the table for the waiter, and he bids Minseok farewell.

--

”Disgusting!” Hansol makes a grossed out face.

”Like I said, son, they ed and lived happily ever after,” Jongin says.

I roll my eyes. “Whatever, Jongin, you and I did the same thing.”

”Um not true, we ed, had a kid, and then lived happily ever after.”

”You’re all disgusting, I’m right here!” Hansol whines.

”Well anyways-”

”Anyways isn’t a word!” Jongin yells, interrupting me.

”Anyways, back to Jongin and I . . .”