"Taemin, I understand that. I set some therapy. She's going to need it for a little while."

"Okay, and one more thing, Jonghyun."

"What is it?"

"She had cuts all over her body, and I don't think she wanted me to see those."

"She's scared, Taemin. Just give her some time."

~>~>~>~>

After talking to Jonghyun for a while, Taemin hung up the phone and looked at you. His heart clentched just by the sight of you. He wanted to hold you in his arms and craddle you. A tear rushed down his face as he walked to your bedside. Taemin held your hand gently once he fell to his knees. "Caille, I'm so sorry," he began to sob. "I'm just so sorry."

You woke up startled to find Taemin sobbing.

_________________________________

Your POV~

“Taemin?” I asked. He looked up at me.

“I’m sorry for everything. I’m so sorry.” He said, looking me in the eyes. My heartbeat increased tenfold, whether from fear or proximity, I couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry too, I want you to touch me, but at the same time, it terrifies me. Instead of your touch, all I feel is the knife, or Rogelio, and I just… I’m trying.” I said, exasperated.

“I know. It’s just, this is my fault, I just… I should’ve been there for you. I was all upset about you and Jonghyun, and now that I understand, I see that I never should have been so upset.” Taemin continued to stare me in the eyes. I had to look away.

“I wish I could tell you everything now, but I can’t. I have to wait about 5 months. Can we make it 5 months?” I asked. Taemin looked at me.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Can our marriage make it 5 months? Can I live for 5 more months? Can we make it? That’s what I meant.” I said, staring at the sheets with tears in my eyes. I let him continue to hold my hand though.

“Of course. Caille, of course we can last 5 months. I love you. I’ll do anything for you, please don’t think you have to leave me.” He begged.

“I’m t-trying, Taemin, I’m trying.” I said.

“I’ll let you sleep now. I’m sorry for waking you up.” Taemin sniffed and let go of my hand.

“Wait.” I said. He waited for me to continue.

“I’m cold.” I said hesitantly.

“Do you want the blanket back?” He asked. I shook my head.

“Do you want me to turn off the air conditioning?” He asked. I shook my head.

“Do you want me to get Jonghyun?” He asked. I shook my head again.

“Do you want ME to get in the bed with you?” He asked, looking shocked. I didn’t shake my head, but I also didn’t nod. It was because, again, I was split in half. Half of me terrified of him, half of me wanting him so bad.

“What are the rules?” He asked, taking a step towards the bed.

“Don’t face me.” I said, looking away from him. He nodded solemnly, but I could tell that on the inside he was ecstatic about this new progression. He laid on the bed, and started to pull up the covers. I stared at him, the intruder, on my bed. I was instantly regretting my choice.

“I just don’t want you on the ground.” I said, trying to comfort myself. Taemin nodded.

“Of course.”

He turned away from me, and his back was facing me. I scooted to the furthest edge of the bed away from him, and stared at his rising and falling figure. I was too scared to close my eyes, but at the same time, his rhythmic breathing made me more tired.

I couldn’t ask him to stop breathing. So, I just watched him. I didn’t realize until I woke up the next morning, that that had been the first night I had gone without waking up from a nightmare about Rogelio. I had some nightmares, but some warm presence kept me calm enough to get through them.

I woke up curled against his back, and immediately shot back to my corner of the bed away from him.