“I know you have faith in people, that you want to believe that people are nicer than they seem, but they really aren't. Not in a group anyway.” Seunghyun began. His voice friendly, but firm. Like he didn't really want to rain on his parade, but had no choice.

“Let's say we move in together after we graduate, go to Seoul and somehow make it through university without anything major knocking us off our paths. Let's say we get good jobs, you working as an office manager since that's your 'big' dream.” he paused for ironic emphasis.

“..and me as, I don't know, whatever.. both carefully concealing the fact that we are gay obviously, since nobody, and I mean NObody in Korea is going to knowingly hire a gay office manager. It just doesn't happen. At the nicer places they would do you the courtesy of pretending it wasn't because of that, that they just went in a different direction or that the other guy was just a little bit better qualified, even if it was painfully slap-in-the-face obvious that he wasn't. But most places aren't that nice about it...”. A dark shadow momentarily took up residence on Seunghyun's face, like he was recalling something painful.

“Okay, we've got jobs and can start a stable life. Then, because life is messy and happens, somebody at your work finds out we're living together. We try our best pretending to be old college buddies, bachelors saving on rent and electricity by shacking up. Only until we find a lovely lady to take care of us of course. It might buy us time, but the seed has been sown. A time bomb waiting to go off. And we are aware of it too, living on top of a minefield, waking up every day wondering if today is going to be the day we make that one wrong move that ends our lives as we know it.”.

Daesung only realized he had forgotten to breathe when he ran out of air. He was hanging on Seunghyun's every horrible suspense filled word. It was like watching a thriller, only the lead actor was himself.

“There will always be that one suspicious one, that one person that realizes that there has always been something a little bit off about you, something that didn't quite fit. Besides, let's face it, a cute little hunk like you, it's going to be suspicious in everyone's eyes if you never even have a girlfriend.” he pinched Daesung's nose lovingly before continuing.

“People are nosy. And once their curiosity is stirred, they won't stop until it's satisfied. In the end, somebody always snitches to the boss and then it's all over, you are out of a job.”.

“But it's okay. I still have my job, one of us can support us for a while, we'll just cut down on expenses. What hurts more than the loss of money though, is to lose the people you thought were your friends. You trusted them and they failed you. It saddens you, but you move on, you have me to fall back on at least. Then it's just the two of us against the world.”.

Daesung wished the story could just end here. The two of them against the world. That sounded good, it had a ring to it. If they had each other, they could weather whichever storm that came their way.

“Now you have to find a new job. You can't put the other place as a reference because then word would get out for sure, but finding a job with an unexplained gap on your CV is near impossible in our society. Seoul is filled to the brim with hard working ants, if there is one ant that doesn't measure up, there is always another to take its place. But sure, you can lie, say you were abroad for further studies or work experience. Hell, you could've been improving your still nonexistent English, we'd figure it out. You're smart, you'd land on your feet.”.

Seunghyun paused to adjust a lock of hair on Daesung's head that had supposedly fallen out of place. Daesung knew there was a lesson he was supposed to be learning with all this, but he couldn't help being sidetracked by the fact that Seunghyun actually thought he was smart. He wasn't really. But the fact that Seunghyun would say that, it meant a lot. It meant he believed in him.

“But then, the whole thing would just repeat itself. Except we'd get older, we'd get more tired. Getting another job would get harder every time, and with every loss of a friend our hearts would get colder, more cynical, until eventually they would be unable to let anyone in.”.

“And what happens when you want more? Kids? I can't give you kids, I can never give you kids. And it breaks my heart that I can't give you the one thing that you want the most. Adopt? The government, or society for that matter, doesn't even acknowledge that we exist, it sure as hell wouldn't allow us to adopt! I wouldn't be able to watch you fake that you didn't mind, knowing that it's eating you up inside...”.

Seunghyun fell quiet, fiddling with the waistband on Daesung's boxers. Daesung couldn't be sure, but it seemed like he was done talking. The atmosphere was charged with all kinds of emotions, making it hard to sort out what exactly it was that he was feeling. He felt like he had been hit by a truck, the truck of doom. Seunghyun hadn't just randomly decided their expiration date on a whim, he had really put a lot of thought into their future together. More than he had ever done himself.

Wow. It dawned on him that Seunghyun was in love with him. Like really in love with him. His feelings were so real he could almost taste them. He was unbelievably touched, but yet disheartened. His point was stronger than he had originally anticipated. Seunghyun had painted one grim picture, and what was worse, the paint was real. Still, he wasn't willing to give up. If everyone gave up each time something seemed hopeless, there would never be progress.

“I'm not saying your scenario isn't possible. Maybe it's even probable. But can't you at least entertain the idea that this is not the only scenario. That it is possible, however improbable, that we would make tolerant friends, that we wouldn't be outed at work, or heck, that we'd have a boss that didn't care.. that not everything is as dark and gloomy as you paint it out to be?” Daesung inquired, sending Seunghyun a sweet little smile of hope. Even though the world at times, he wasn't prepared to give up on it. He wasn't prepared to live under an imaginary dark cloud his whole life. He wasn't closing his eyes to the existence of dark clouds, because they did exist and there were plenty of them to go around. But he wanted to enjoy the sunshine in the fresh breeze that was making the hairs on the back of his arm tingle. When, if, a storm came along, they would deal with it then. Together.

Seunghyun conceded, “I can.. I can.. but in turn, can you then at least entertain the idea that it's not always going to feel like the fairytale we are in now?”. Daesung felt his mouth being pulled into a huge grin. “It does though..” he said with a big, wide smile, on his face as well as his heart. “It really does feel like a fairytale!”. It really did. This short time with Seunghyun had been better than the sweetest, most entertaining fairytale he could remember.

“I know.” Seunghyun mumbled. It was barely audible, but he had heard it. Their eyes met. He couldn't really pinpoint precisely what it was, but he could feel Seunghyun's vulnerability. Like he was somehow holding his heart in his clutches and Seunghyun was using his eyes to plead for mercy. He used a light kiss to assure him he would take good care of it.

“..and you're wrong.” Daesung stated as he pulled back from the kiss. Seunghyun stared at him in surprise, not following. “A baby isn't what I want the most. I wouldn't even know what to do with a baby if you handed me one right now. What I want the most..“ he said confidently, but just as he was about to reach the most important part, his confidence faltered. “..is you.” he concluded shyly. It was the only thing he wanted, and he wanted it right now and for always.

“What are you doing to me boy..” Seunghyun sighed, looking a bit hopeless. He peered, looking slyly at Daesung. “If I play along with this fairytale of ours, you've got to realize that it isn't the Disney version where everything magically works out. It's a real fairytale, and real fairytales tend to have real trials and most of them end badly. That's just how the world works.”.

Daesung nodded, not telling Seunghyun that he had his fingers crossed behind his back.