'Delete number from phone?'. Daesung stared at the words on the screen. After sleeping on it he had become even more numb. He had no feelings, no thoughts. He felt like a zombie, and in a way he was. Zombies were creatures that had been robbed of their human lives, doomed to roam the Earth as empty shells. That was exactly how Daesung felt, he had become a zombie. Rather than fight it, he decided to embrace it. Having feelings was overrated anyway. He selected 'YES' without thinking twice about it. 'Block contact?' the phone inquired. Daesung hesitated. He bit his lip, his finger hovering over the yes-button. If he was going to do this, he should do it properly. 'YES'. 'Contact blocked.'. That was that. Time to start a new chapter. A Seunghyun-less chapter. A new beginning as zombie-Daesung, the non-cannibalistic zombie that did nothing but study.

Daesung had planned a route to school that took him to the back entrance of the school, avoiding the main gate just in case Seunghyun had decided on another ambush. The new route took him extra fifteen minutes, but Daesung had left an half an hour earlier than usual. He had something to discuss with his teacher before class started. The school grounds were quiet, no sane person was at school this early, they were all still sleeping comfortably in their beds, or busy making themselves pretty and presentable, bent on dazzling someone they had their eye on. Daesung had his eye on nobody, he was blind by choice, selective tunnel vision that only saw homework.

*knock* *knock* “Daesung! Come in. What brings you here so early?”. His teacher was surprised to see him, but listened to him patiently. He explained that for personal reasons he would appreciate it a great deal if he could move to the empty desk in the front row by the window. He told her his vision wasn't what it used to be and it was harder to concentrate at the back. In the front he would be able to hear her so much better and it would be easier to read her notes on the blackboard. He told her he was planning on business college and that he was going to try for a scholarship, so he really needed to keep his grades up and this would help in doing that. Daesung lied through his teeth. Well, not everything was a lie, but the only reason he wanted to change seats was so that he didn't have to see Seunghyun. Which would of course help him concentrate better, so it was only a half-lie. Daesung hated lying, but he saw no other choice. He couldn't very well tell his teacher that him and his gay lover had had a love spat and couldn't bear being in each other's presence anymore. He could see his teacher melt in front of him, she was a er for kids who wanted to study.

Daesung hurried to empty his former desk before his classmates would arrive. He moved it to the desk in the front and sat down. This was perfect, he couldn't see Seunghyun's seat even if he tried to and once the one who sat in the seat behind him arrived, Seunghyun wouldn't be able to see him either. Daesung opened his books and started reading, from now on all his time would be spent studying. He hadn't been lying about the scholarship, only he didn't have that much confidence in getting it. His grades were quite good, but that was only because he worked incredibly hard to keep them that way. He was no genius, so the likelihood that he would actually get it was extremely low. He was still going to try. College fees were no joke, he wasn't sure him and his mom would make it if he didn't at least get a partial scholarship. He had to go to college though, if he was going to support his mom and repay their debts, he needed a better job than a plain old shop assistant.

The first lesson of the day started. While the students had poured into the classroom, Daesung had stared intently out the window to minimize the likelihood that he would catch a glimpse of Seunghyun. He did hope he was alright and still wanted all the best for him, but he was convinced that a clean break was for the best. It really was better this way. Besides, he didn't miss the emotional rollercoaster of being in love. He would be lying if he said he regretted it, the time with Seunghyun had included a lot of the best moments of his life. He was going to cherish what they had together for always. Had. That was the key word. It was past tense. From now on 'they' would only live on as memories of what once was. Beautiful precious memories.

He had been captivated by a flower right outside the window, trying to make a home in a crack in the building wall. It was tiny and had barely opened its pedals. A poor excuse for a flower, but still it tried its hardest in that cold shadowy place it now called home. Daesung felt sorry for it, if only it had landed in a patch of rich soil, its life could have been so easy. It could have happily grown into a great big flower, spreading out its pedals for the world to see, spending its days bathing in the warm sunlight, appreciated for its beauty and admired for its elegance. If only.

When the bell rang for lunch, Daesung had already prepared himself for a quick exit. He was afraid that if he stayed behind, Seunghyun would use the opportunity to confront him. Daesung wasn't in a place yet where he could handle that. It was unfair how handsome and dashing Seunghyun was, how was someone supposed to resist that? He practically ran out of the classroom before anyone had even stood up. He didn't fancy going to the cafeteria, having to pretend everything was fine. Having to pretend he was still human, that he gave a damn about anything, fake smiling and fake laughing. He wanted to be left alone to his zombie ways. That was why he sneaked into one of the bathrooms, and locked himself in the stall furthest from the door. He sat on the closed toilet and zoned out. He was too tired to think, he hadn't slept well. It had taken forever for him to fall asleep, and when he finally did, strange nightmares haunted him, making it impossible for him to get a good night's sleep.

Daesung heard the door to the bathroom open. He lifted his legs up, so no one could see he was in there. “I'm telling you, it's not even a rumor anymore!” said a high-pitched voice. It was a girl's voice! “Really? How do you know?” a soft spoken girl answered in a shy voice. Daesung panicked, had he accidentally gone into the girl's bathroom? He held his breath, this was one place where he did not want to be discovered. Stalking the girl's bathroom, he would be known as the local creep for years to come! He didn't mean to eavesdrop on the girl's conversation, but there was no way not to. “Well, for starters, Seunghyun was in a bad way today. I heard he had super puffy eyes like he'd been cryin' 'n stuff and Dahee said he looked like he hadn't slept at all!” the first girl shared theatrically. Daesung got a pang in his stomach, Seunghyun had been crying? Sadness started creeping up on him, but he shook it off. It changed nothing. It only proved that Seunghyun hadn't been lying about his feelings, but that hadn't been the problem either. Daesung knew Seunghyun cared for him a great deal, that much had been obvious. But it hadn't stopped him in trying to turn their love for each other into something dirty, a dark secret that messed with other people's lives. Daesung would have no part in it!

“Apparently he and Hyorin have been dating for like two months or something, two whole months!! I mean there've always been rumors, but it's crazy how long they managed to keep it a secret!” the high-pitched girl barely remembered to breathe, she was only too excited to have such a big piece of gossip to share. “But Hyorin was cheating on him with some guy in college, like way older and more experienced you know, and ended up leaving Seunghyun for him.” she continued. This was ridiculous. Who even came up with these rumors and why did people get so much pleasure from badmouthing somebody else's life? “And I know that's true since Hyorin didn't even dare show her face at school today.” she concluded. The shy girl gasped, hanging onto every word. “And on my way here, I saw Seunghyun heading for the side exit, and he had his bag too, so I bet he was going home to cry some more. Hyorin has some nerve! Like Seunghyun isn't good enough for her?! He's like the hottest guy in the ENTIRE school! If only he knew I existed, I'd show him that there are better girls out there than that cheating..”. Daesung didn't catch the end of the sentence as he heard the door close behind them. It was quiet again. So Seunghyun had gone home. He really shouldn't skip classes so often, Daesung was worried he wouldn't be able to fill his attendance quota. He needed it to graduate. Well, at least Seunghyun had gotten his cover, with this story floating around the hallways nobody would suspect he was gay, even if he'd prance around in a pink tutu.

“Daeboo! Phone!” his mother called from downstairs. It could only be one person. How had he gotten the number? It wasn't like they really used the landline phone anymore, both he and his mom had cell phones. Daesung couldn't imagine how Seunghyun had managed to dig up the number, it wasn't listed in the local phone registry and him and his mom rarely told anyone they even had a landline phone. Wait, Daesung vaguely recalled it being required for the school forms they'd filled out when he transferred here, since his mom had damn near trashed the place trying to find the note on which she had scribbled the number. They never used it so neither of them could recall what it was. Had Seunghyun somehow gained access to his records at school? But how? He hoped he hadn't done anything illegal, like stealing them or something. “I'm not home!” Daesung yelled back. “But it's Seunghyun, hun.” his mom insisted, “He says it's urgent!”. “I'm not home!!” Daesung yelled even louder, he didn't care if Seunghyun heard him. Then he'd maybe take the hint and leave him alone.

“Okay what's going on?!” Daesung's mom stood in the doorway. “Why is Seunghyun calling our home phone, is something wrong with your cell phone? And why aren't you taking his calls? Are you two fighting?” His mom had concern painted all over her face. Daesung just shook his head, he was afraid that if he started speaking, he wouldn't be able to hold back the tears that had suddenly formed an alliance, pushing to get out, all at once. His mom sat down on the bed beside him and put her arm around Daesung, “Oh honey.”. Daesung could feel all his repressed sorrow breaking free, showering him in misery. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't keep his feelings at bay any longer. The moment he started crying, there was no turning back. His sadness wanted out and he had no way to stop it. So he cried.

And he cried, and he cried.