I’m not a perfect person. Nobody is.

My grades are good but I’m not going to call myself Einstein.

 I’m decent in sports but I wouldn’t think of myself Olympics status.

 I’m not a loser but I don’t consider myself popular.

 I’m just… Me.

 A normal nineteen year old guy trying to push through college and earn a degree.

My life seems simple right? Easy, worry free, and nothing to complain about?

Wrong.

My life is shattered. It has offered me nothing to make life perfect. Instead, I got the complete opposite.

I’m the middle child to an older brother and younger sister. I’ve got a dad, mom.

Seem like a happy perfect family?

 Guess again.

 I’ve got a brother who steers clear from seeing my family, god knows where he is. For all I know, he could be dead. I don’t hate or blame him for leaving, I wouldn’t want to live another second in this house. My younger sister stays at home and she goes through a living hell. She can’t even fall asleep without me by her side. She’s pretty much the reason I’m living at home instead of moving out into my own apartment.

To protect her.

Something my older brother didn’t do to me or her.

 My parents?

 Well, dad’s a drunk. A drug dealer and abuser. A player. And he really knows how to throw a punch.

Mom?

She’s dead.

 She was brutally murdered by my own dad when I was 10. Shot her right in the heart. Ending my “perfect” life being stuck at home, protecting my little sister while driving to college, and driving back home to take a hit from my dad.

 I’ll admit my life was perfect when my mom was around. Everything was.

 My dad however? If anything, he’s nothing to me. I don’t love him.

Why should I?

He drove away my brother, tries to hurt my sister, and he murdered my mom. I believe those are valid reasons why I shouldn’t love him.

Mom… She was my rock. She did everything she could to keep me happy. She was the only reason I had a smile on my face every day. Until that bastard wiped it right off.

 He would always hit her. Every night. Every morning. It became a usual routine.

He called her a dumb , useless, .

Everything she wasn’t.

 I wanted her to leave him, I begged her to divorce him.

Weird seeing a ten year old begging for their parents to split up right?

 But she couldn’t…He threatened her by putting my siblings and me up to be killed. It wouldn’t have mattered…I would have rather died then seeing my mom go through all this crap.

 I cried seeing my mom suffer. Suffer because she was only trying to protect my siblings and I. And all I wanted to do was protect her.  

“Mommy, why does daddy hit you?”

“Because daddy gets mad. He’s just releasing his anger…”

“But mommy, you’re getting hurt.”

“I’ll be okay sweetheart. As long as you and your siblings are safe, I can die happy.”

“Mommy don’t cry…I’ll protect you.”

“I love you…”

I love you.

Those were the last words she said to me before he clicked the trigger.

The trigger to her life.

 I will always love my mother.

 But where did love get me?

It lead me to the death of my rock.

 All of this happened because of love.

Love does nothing but drive away the ones you care about.