Love is a hit or miss thing. It’s a game that we need to win for us to be able to enjoy it fully. And lastly, it’s something that we have to protect, take care of intensely and focus on, because if we’re not going to do all these, the love that you have will just go to waste. Also, there shouldn’t be conditions, levels or lesser degrees.

Have you ever felt that you were content in every sense of the word? That you don’t need anything anymore even if you know that there are still a lot in this world that you need to achieve and have. I don’t know, but I can really say that this place I’m in now is my heaven and I will not let a single soul pull me down to hell again.

After my stupid attempt of ending my life, I have realized that doing such thing is not worth it at all. Yes, it will end my sufferings, but it will give the people who love me forever to mourn about. They’ll be the one suffering for their conscience will haunt them coz they weren’t able to do anything to stop me. I’ve learned from this experience and I’ll NEVER do it again. I wouldn’t even dare anymore.

In all fairness to Jiyong, he really proved his love to me because even after knowing my dark past, he still chose to stick with me. He hasn’t accepted it yet, but he’s trying and he’s not letting it affect his love for me. To him, I’m already a new person, still a lost soul but is already finding its way home and I’m telling you, that’s more than enough for me to continue being in a relationship with him.

To be honest, I’m not planning to continue what we have anymore after I spill out everything about me to him, but hearing what he has to say about the matter and seeing love in his eyes is what made me hold on. Now I can say that for once in my life, I made a very good decision, and that is to stay and go through the rough and dirty path of life hand in hand with him.

“HOME!” I plopped myself on the couch and just looked around.

Going home after days of living with him is saddening. I don’t have a choice but to go back to where I really belong because Cara Belle is arriving today from her vacation. Of course, it’ll be so weird if the little girl will see me alone with her father in their flat.

“You’re here already!” Emmie shocked the hell out of me.

Breathing hard while rubbing my chest, I looked at her “You gave me a fright!” I exclaimed, making her laugh like crazy.

She sat on the single couch, still laughing “So…” she cleared then looked at me intently.

The girls still can’t believe that I’ve found love already and that this time, I’m serious of it. I can’t blame them though, because they’re so used to me playing around.

“Seriously….your eyes are freaking me out” I throw a pillow at her.

She shrieked then threw the pillow back to me “Wow …you’re looking so damn good!”

It made me laugh and blush at the same time “Really? Thank you” I said with my sweetest voice.

“EWW! Your voice sounds like a teenager who just received a compliment from her crush” she said, making me laugh so hard.

I really believe that when you’re in-love, your whole being changes and no matter how you want to retain your old self, you can’t, especially when the old you is miserable and impossible.

“You know what?” Emmie pointed at me “I think…I have to look for love too …seeing how blooming you are….your eyes twinkling for no reason…your skin is glowing…the whole of you is screaming I’M IN LOVE…I want to have those as well coz no …only my is happy but not my heart” she said, cracking me up like crazy.

Well, what can I do? Love really did its wonders on me. I still look the same, but the way people see me is different already and this is the first time that they saw me in such a good state.

“Ems” I looked at her then smiled “You don’t need to look for love….I think it’ll just come to you...take it from me…I’m not expecting Jiyong to come into life…it just happened….let destiny do the work for you coz I really think that she knows what she’s doing” I told her, receiving a smirk.

“That’s just so cheesy” she said, making me laugh.

“It is…but it’s true…and that’s how things should be…look Ems...” I leaned forward then sighed “If you’ll be the one looking for love without any plans…the chances of you kissing frogs over and over again is more huge than you kissing a prince…not only that…you have to shed your being playful when it comes to love as well coz you’ll feel more proud of yourself for being able to love in a healthy way… is good…SO IN GOOD…but without love…it’s nothing” I said, sounding like a mother who is giving her daughter the greatest learning in the world.

“Yeah yeah yeah….you have a point there…but….do you think I can wait for my prince without fooling around with frogs?” she asked.

I love this! Emmie is listening to me and she’s taking this conversation seriously too. Oh well, maybe this woman is really driven to love, FOR REAL.

“hmmm” I pretended to think while tapping my finger on my chin “Of course!” I exclaimed “Ems….you can date…but…you can’t let every guy you date screw you….save some for your prince…what do we know? Maybe the prince that you’ve been waiting for is already lurking around somewhere…it’s just that….you haven’t met yet”

Who will ever imagine that I’ll be giving pointers about love when I’m the kind of person who hates the concept of love before?

Our talk really made me miss Jiyong more. It’s near midnight already and I’m expecting him to give me a call. Oh! Maybe he and Cara Belle are watching a movie or playing. I’ll just let them be for now coz I’m so sure that they’ve missed each other so much.

“You found something already?” Debbie asked upon entering my room.

I sighed heavily then shook my head “This is so freakin hard…I really don’t know where to start”

The girls and I decided to start hunting for my “husband” because he has our daughter.

After talking with Jiyong about my past, he made me realize that my life wouldn’t be complete without my daughter. Even if I wasn’t able to take care of her, I love Rhapsody with all my heart. There’s no day that I don’t think about her. If only she knows how excited I am to hold her.

I swear. I looked for her everywhere. I only stopped when my life went a different route. A route where there is chaos and endless problems. I decided to fix my personal i