Dongwoonpov/

Tch. Have a safe trip back?
What was that all about?
Is she pms-ing or what?
Such a weirdo.

Once I got back to my home, the hyungs were all getting paranoid finding Sunhee.
Okay, maybe not all the hyungs.
Just Kikwang and Yoseob hyung.
Why are they making a big deal anyway?
We always have girls.
Why care so much about Sunhee?

” YAH! Where is she? ”

Both Kikwang and Yoseob hyung came asking for her at me.
I waved my hand and shrug.

” YAH! I was going to make her my girlfriend! ”

” NO! I was gonna make her MY girlfriend! ”

They are starting to piss me off.
I told them I left her where I found her yesterday and they pouted and pounded their fist all over me.

” She didn’t even have breakfast. ”

Hyunseung-hyung added.

” Oh, come on. You too? ”

I replied in disbelief.
What had she made my hyungs be?

” She’s kindda pretty. ”

Doojoon-hyung continued.
Wait. What? Doojoon-hyung? Seriously? That’s cool.
She’s powerful to have Doojoon-hyung praise her pretty despite him crying last night.

Actually, I think she’s kindda pretty actually.
I don’t think she’s that ugly.
But if she wasn’t a hobo, it was better.
I don’t want to deny it but she does look kindda bothered.
What the hell could have made her not want to go home so badly anyway?

Sunheepov/

I stopped outside the gate of this hell and took a deep breathe before going in.
I don’t even know what to expect now.
He always suprises me with what he could do.

Once I stepped into the premises, I was greeted by a strong stench of cigarettes and alcohol.
You don’t know how much I hate the smell especially together.
Why am I not suprised that he’s there sitting like nothing’s happened puffing on his stick?

” I’m hungry. ”

He told me.
I didn’t even ask.
It seem more like a demand than a statement.
Something like, ‘cook for me now or I’ll ing kill you’.
I nodded in defeat and dragged myself to the kitchen.

I couldn’t even find anything to cook.
Other than instant noodles.
Ah, whatever.
I’m not even in a mood to be nice and cook a damn meal.
I’m tired and sick of my life so I’ll just cook whatever for him.

Who is he to order me around like this?
A possesive boyfriend? Nah.
He’s my brother.
Actually step-brother.
Jaejoong, his name.

When I first saw him, I swear to God he looks like an angel.
He looks so gorgeous I was drooling in front of him.
His dad married my mom and yeah.
He really is gorgeous.
I can’t deny that there is at one point of time when I wished that I could have date him.
He was too beautiful to just be a brother to me.
Plus, he is nice too.
He took good care of me.
Always backing me up and helping me with anything at all.
In fact, I was happy with the new family.
A new father and brother.
It wasn’t at all bad.
Especially when we go for trips and have meals together.
 I was happy I had a complete family.

But had to happen.
Our parents both died in an accident.
Then things just took a turn and everything got crazy.
Jaejoong got crazy.
I don’t even know what got into him.
Stressed? Depressed? Sad? I don’t know.
He wasn’t what he used to be.
It’s like he evolved into a monster of some sort.
He used me like I was nothing.
First, he ordered me around.
Then he started hitting me when I won’t listen.
I mean, I have a life too.
I can’t always follow whatever his commands are.
The last straw was him taking my ity and me as and when he feels like it.

You might ask, why couldn’t you just run away and don’t come back?
Because when I look at him.
I feel pity.
More than that, I felt hope.
Hope that maybe he will be what he used to be before all this happen.
That maybe one day, he’ll care for me and take care of me like a brother will again.
No matter how much I wanna run away or how much I hate him, when I see him, I wouldn’t dare to leave.
Because all I see when I see him isn’t just a man who hurts me, but a man who used to be my pillar of strength.

It’s always like yesterday when I want to leave him.
And when I’m far I’ll feel safe.
But I dont know, fate?
It keeps bringing me back here.
Back home and I’ll see Jaejoong.
And all the hate will fade away.
Then he’ll hurt me again and I’ll hate him and run away.
Then I’ll end up coming back home again.
It’s a cycle.
 

My life is getting too predictable.

” Jae, food’s ready. ”

I called to him and motioned to the ready made ramyun.
He nodded and got up from where he was and sat on the dining table to eat his food.

He don’t even talk much now.
And I can’t deny I’m worried for him.
He used to smile alot even if he didn’t speak.
But right now, he don’t even smile no more.
To say that he’s too pained due to the accident is an understatement.
What about me then?
I’m crushed at the news too.
I’m human too.

I took my time washing up dishes while he continued to eat his food.
I don’t even know how we manage to keep living.
It’s a miracle maybe.
Or maybe it’s due to my pay working at the Grilled Meat restaurant just washing dishes.
Looking at the clean plates I washed, maybe washing dishes is all I know how to do.

” Where were you last night? ”

Did I hear him ask me where I went?
He never did care before.
This is the first.
And I liked it.
Maybe my brother is coming back.
He’s starting to care.

” I was with a friend. ”

” A friend, yeh? ”

I nodded.
Okay, maybe he’s not being nice because after asking me that, he grabbed my wrist and started nuzzling my neck roughly.
His kisses were rough and strong, I didnt even have the energy to push him away.

He continued on holding onto me despite my desperate attempts to push him away.
He carried me up and brought me to the living room, laying me on the couch.
I don’t even bother running away anymore.
It’s of no use.
I don’t even care about my life much, let him do whatever he wants with me. 

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