“Tilden State Park,” she told the cab driver. He looked at her like she was crazy.

“Uh ma’am tha’s prolly na’ th’ best idea fo’ a gil jus outta th’ hospital. Especially wi’ all th’ rain today yeah?” he said in a strong Brooklyn accent but she just waved at hand at him and told him to drive. The rain was the whole reason she wanted to go all the way out to the beach. Thinking about the beach in Seoul made her think of the New York Tilden State Park and she just wanted to be by herself in her loneliness to sulk with her memories. If she couldn’t find Kyuhyun she just wanted to be alone, and she had to get away from the hospital. She stared at the drops on the window the whole two hour drive; she didn’t care if her cast got wet, the rain fit her mood exactly.

When they finally pulled up to parking lot she was ready to get out and away from the judgmental glances of her driver. She refused his help as she struggled out and then she watched him drive away into the downpour. And it really was pouring now. Good, she thought, maybe I’ll get lost and never have to come back. She straightened on her crutches and made her way down to the sand. She knew it would be hell trying to get back to the city since taxis didn’t really come out here but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything.

When she got to the shore she stopped to try and zip up her jacket No! She told herself, His jacket, not mine, his. She knew they would never share anything again except memories. She knew she deserved it if she never saw him again. It was an unbearable thought but it was probably the only way this all could end. She had almost gotten over him before; she would just have to do it again. But…how though? These past few days had reopened the vault in her heart that she had tried to shut away so faithfully for so long...and all of her feelings for him were like knives now, cutting away at her with their hopelessness. She loved him, there was no hiding that. She loved him so much that nothing else should have to matter. How could God be so cruel as to give her an angel and then let him slip away, not once but twice? The little corner of her mind that was logical knew that it was her own fault that their relationship was ruined forever but she wouldn’t take that. He had changed her whole life, her whole world and now she could barely live without him. When he would go back to Korea, it would be final this time, she knew that. What, then was there to live for. If not him, then what? Was there anything anymore? How could there be.

The rain ran down her face like mock tears and she stared out at the waves, trying to appreciate them as she once had. But she couldn’t, he had brought things meaning. So she began to slowly meander along the shoreline. Her hair was soaked and stuck to her cheeks but she didn’t move it, only kept walking, and walking and walking away from everything. She tried to imagine permanently moving on. Living indefinitely in her little loft and getting a real job. It had been dangerous for her to hang on her shreds of hope after coming home the first time and she was just now realizing how much. She knew she could try to ask her friends for help. Through everything, they had been there and still were, but Hannah knew they didn’t really have any time or money to give.

Suddenly all Hannah wanted was someone right there. Someone to talk to right then and there. She had been hiding away all her stress and emotions since leaving Korea all by herself and she just wanted to vent every detail for the first time. She wanted to let it all out and have someone listen, listen to everything and tell her it would all be okay. She automatically reached into her pocket to pull out her phone but instantly stopped. She flinched as she realized it wasn’t her pocket as she recognized the shape of Kyuhyun’s phone in her hand. Her fingers tightened so hard that she lost feeling in them. She grabbed her crutches violently and started to hurl herself forward as fast as she could, running away from her own mind.

She went and went and went. She kept going even when the sun started to set and the rain eased up enough to let her see that she was very far away from the parking lot. The waves still churned violently though and thick clouds blocked out even the lowering sun’s brilliant rays, making everything grey and dark. She walked with her head down, only thinking of the movement of her feet and the breaths cycling through her lungs. As the tide was going out the sand became more and more treacherous for a girl with a foot in a cast until, inevitably, she tripped, almost falling to the ground. Luckily she caught herself and as she straightened she looked up and froze. Thirty feet ahead of her was a single man staring at the waves curling at his feet. He was a good distance away and it was pretty dark already but she still knew it was him. She was shocked and she suddenly didn’t know what to do. Every nerve in her body pushed her to run towards him but what had happened the night before hovered in her mind. She saw his shoulders slump and he turned to walk away, right in her direction...

The next chapter might be the last because I have a good ending in my head... I'm not getting any feedback so we will see! Thanks for reading!!!