The second time she came to, she couldn’t understand what had happened. She saw that she was in a hospital room by the machines everywhere and the horrible cot she was on but she was confused at how she could have gotten there. She started to stretch, but grimaced in pain. She flung off the covers to discover her entire left foot encased in plaster. Vivid pictures began to flash rapidly across her mind. Huge amounts of people, pavement, angry faces, panic, a flash of metal, someone yelling into a cell phone and then…him! She shot into a sitting position. He had been there! She had seen him and he had seen her, caught her even. He hadn’t even looked angry, only confused and worried when had known it was her. Where was he? Was he here? Where even was here? Had he just left her? Was he gone? No! She hadn’t even had a chance to talk to him yet! Everything had been in vain! Frantic, she attempted to swing her bulky leg onto the floor towards to her left and, in doing so, knocked over a breakfast tray, flinging a phone pad of paper onto the floor. She saw it and awkwardly reached for the paper anxiously. The heading at the top said “Bellevue Hospital Center” and the note was in Korean characters, in his handwriting. Bellevue? She went to the emergency room? How could she not remember that? Trying to make sense of everything, she turned to the writing and read,

So, you decided to pass out in the middle of the street just to stop my car as we’re leaving the concert. You’re better than gave you credit for. Well it worked and you now officially have my attention. If you wake up when I’m out I’ll be back at 10:00   2:00 tomorrow morning   noon   around 5:30

Feel better, K

She looked at all the times he has crossed out. He’d been to see her at least four times, which had to count for something, but the note was impersonal, something he could say to anyone. She turned to the alarm clock; it read 4:40 pm. She slouched, disappointed. Then something clicked and she quickly glanced at the note again. She had been unconscious for an entire night and day! She’d missed work! And a dinner with some friends! Her cat wasn’t fed, her mail wasn’t checked, Monday’s pizza was on the counter still….but stop! She was worrying about all the wrong things. He was still here in New York. Impossibly, he wasn’t completely lost and she would get her chance to talk to him. To tell him the truth. Nothing else could possibly matter right now. She needed to relax and a shower wouldn’t hurt either. She saw a bathroom and wondered if she was allowed to get out of bed to use it.

Screw it, she thought, I can do what I want, and pulled her legs off of the bed, slowly this time and stretching easily. She felt unbalanced with one foot in a cast. She shook her head at her own clumsiness; only she would manage to break an ankle at a time like this. Nothing hurt very much and she was really fuzzy even after all the sleep she had gotten so she knew she must be pretty loaded on painkiller.

When she looked up her heart clenched. He had left his coat on the back of a chair, here in the hospital, while waiting for her. She suddenly felt like she was going to explode. She needed to see him again! She missed him so much and now that he was this close her entire being ached for him. She had missed his perfect, angelic voice, his strong body full of warmth as he held her, that certain smile she got whenever she did something cute, and how his eyes always softened yet lit up when he saw her. All the things she had tried to make herself forget. It had been so long.

She didn’t cry but she squeezed her eyes shut and lay back down. She just couldn’t survive until the next time he came. She was tired of everything, of pretending she didn’t care and trying to “move on.” She wanted him back. It was that simple. She had never actually stopped loving him, no matter what she told herself to make herself forget. His large comforting hands hadn’t held hers, she hadn’t smelled his favorite cologne, hadn’t heard his laugh or his teasing in so very long. She missed how they used to just sit together for hours, not talking, or how she would go hang out with him and the guys and they all treated her like a little sister. She missed them too. She longed for the times they would go out to explore the city at night, him showing her to love Seoul and himself, one memory at a time. She wished everything could go back to the way it was before. She hated herself for ruining everything. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if he didn’t forgive her but she didn’t know how he could. As much as she loved him and as much as she hoped that he still loved her, she was dreading what was coming. Because she would have to tell him everything and lives don’t just go back. She could never change what happened and that was the world’s cruelty. This encounter had opened up her secret vault full of suppressed feelings and now hope was her worst enemy. She was engulfed in the emotions she had locked up for so long and that was going to hurt; she would go through it all again after he left. And somewhere deep down, she knew he would. She had so much terrible hope and yet none at all.

Depressed and emotionally confused, a tear rolled down her cheek as a nurse came into the room.

“Oh dear, you’re awake. How are you feeling, is there pain?” The lady quickly began scanning the monitors around her and handed her a tissue, “We’ll get you some more medication right away and you’ll feel much better. You’ve been out for a little while and you broke your ankle at the music festival you were at a few days ago. Do you remember that?” At a head nod the nurse said, “Very Good. Well, I’m going to ask you a few questions okay? Nothing hard I just want to make sure you’ll recover from such a serious concussion.” Lying there in the bed, she tried to stop thinking so hard and concentrate on breathing and focusing on the questions. What was her name? Hannah. How old was she? 24. Where did she live? Brooklyn. What did she do? Danced part-time and was trying to get a job somewhere doing film. Soon the nurse was done, confident that she would be fine and in another hour she was showered and again in the hospital bed alone, now trying to munch on some tasteless food. The clock now said it was 6:25 and her heart sank. She pushed her food away, her stomach too uneasy with both excitement and dread to eat anything. Her mind kept flinging scenarios of what might happen at her to the point where she just wanted it all to be over, resolved or not. She was an emotional wreck of tension, worry, and loneliness. She curled up as best she could and started counting her heartbeats to ignore the dull pain growing in her foot. One, two…three, four...

Hey sorry for not posting recently, I've been out of town but tomorrow I'll post two new chapters to make up for it! Hope you guys like it!