Light spilled across her eyes, waking her suddenly. She squeezed them tighter, struggling up from her sleep. However when she heard a door close she almost fell over trying to sit up as fast as possible. Their eyes met, and before she could register anything her body flung itself towards him. Her cast prevented her from doing more than stumbling off the bed however and he impulsively rushed forward to steady her. This time she wasn’t even close to passing out and she clung to him. The world was whole again, finally.

 

It took her a moment to realize that he wasn’t responding to her touch like usual. She looked up and saw such coldness in his eyes that she almost collapsed. She had forgotten where she was, seeing him, but he probably never wanted to even look at her again. He helped her back onto the cot and took in her wet hair, pulled into a bun.

 

“You woke up today,” he said, not sitting down.

 

“Yeah,” she said listlessly, “at like five. What time is it now?”

 

“Maybe one, I’m not really sure.”

 

“In the morning??” she looked towards the closed curtains in surprise. He grimaced, “Yeah we had a problem at dinner. Fans.” She nodded.

 

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

 

“Fine.”

 

“That’s good.”

 

“Yeah.” She was a complete loss of words now that he was finally here. She had imagined what this would be like so many times, finally getting to explain, but his hard mask made it stick in . She couldn’t believe he was really here, that this was actually happening. He suddenly turned to look her straight in the face, “Look, you wanted to talk to me and here I am. You get what you want again.” It was her turn to grimace at his sharp words full of accusation.

 

“Kyu...” she cleared , “I mean Kyuhyun-shi, I don’t just want to talk to you I need to. There’s a lot more to this than you think. I have to explain a lot of things.” She fought the tears she promised herself she wouldn’t let out as his eyes turned stone hard and all he said was, “Yeah. You do.”

 

It wasn’t a long “talk”, and it didn’t go well. There had been a lot of crying on her part despite her struggle to remain calm and yelling on his. She had tried to make herself tell him everything at first but, looking into his angry face, she couldn’t help getting emotional and the right words wouldn’t come out at all. The nurses had finally come in and threatened to kick him out if they didn’t stop being loud enough for the whole hall to hear. They had both sat in silence for a very long time and then he had gotten up and left. That had been about four in the morning and she hadn’t slept since. It was about noon now and nurses had finally stopped coming in every hour to check on her. She was hungry but didn’t want to eat and she was extremely tired and drained but could not fall asleep after so much had just gone wrong. She felt empty inside, like fire had charred everything but her skin and she would never be capable of feelings again. There wasn’t any possible way to have a single tear left in her body even if she wanted to cry. She had wished she could go into the past and change everything that had happened; now she couldn’t even see a future for herself that was worth it. She didn’t know what to do, how to live. She had tried to do everything she could but he still didn’t know the truth. She had thought that it would be better, that seeing him just one more time would make everything right, but in her insecurity she couldn’t get the words out, making everything worse. She hadn’t thought it could get any worse.

 

She had no desire to do anything anymore so she just stared at the television set one of the nurses had earlier when the doctor had said that she should stay in bed for the rest of the morning and then see where she was after that. She hoped they wouldn’t send her home; she just wanted to lay here and think of nothing, feel nothing. As it usually works with the absurdity of the human brain, as soon as she resolved to keep her mind blank she found herself thinking about the first time they had met. It had been so incredulous that for weeks she couldn’t believe it had happened, despite her being there! As she lay there she knew she would never regret it, whatever happened now. That day would always be the best thing that had ever happened to her.

 

She was on the plane at last. For months she had been anxiously planning and waiting for this moment. Ever since high school she had made it a goal to someday study abroad for a year somewhere far away. Now she was officially about to take off to South Korea and begin a whole new life. The goodbyes had been almost impossible, but now, in her seat, the excitement was quickly overcoming her nervousness. In just thirteen hours…

 

She looked up as a noisy group of men boarded last, complaining angrily to one of the flight attendants. She stared in utter disbelief at Super Junior K.R.Y. being told to “please sit down so we can leave as soon as possible” in English. Her brain chose that moment to remind her that the seat next to her was vacant as the men and their mangers continued to fuss. Holy crap. She continued to lose mental capabilities as the attendant examined their tickets and shrugged, asking them to sit down, this time in Korean. Finally Yesung (Yesung!) just started laughing good-humouredly and the entire group started down the aisles toward their seats. She was in one of the window seats near the front and immediately lowered her eyes and tried to look normal. How on earth did they end up on the same plane as her? Then the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the impossible happened. Kyuhyun stopped at the seat adjacent to hers and put his carry-on in the overhead compartment. She quickly looked down at the book on her lap and watched him through her peripherals in disbelief as he waved to the others who spread throughout the plane and then sat down.

 

“Anyeonghaseyo,” she said, struggling to breathe and be normal, like she had no idea who he was, like he wasn’t the reason she was on the plane at all. He turned to give her a startled look, then his eyes narrowed, “So you’re the reason I’m on this flight,” he said, also in Korean.

 

“What?” she was confused by his twist of her thoughts, but he turned away, “Just because you have a lot of money doesn’t give you the right to interfere with our schedules.” She was really confused now.

 

“Excuse me if I’ve offended you but I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just going to Seoul for a foreign exchange. I’m not…” she struggled with speaking Korean so quickly, “…interfering… with anything that I know of.” He rolled his eyes, “Are you trying to tell me that you just happen to be a teenage girl who knows Korean who just happens to end up sitting next to me for a whole thirteen hour flight after our tickets were downgraded due to an ‛emergency’ and you really have nothing to do with all of those coincidences. I’m not stupid; you’re not the only one who has tried this before.”

 

“Um,” she stuttered, intimidated, “I’m sorry your tickets were changed but I really didn’t do that. I mean, you’re right I am a teenage girl but I can’t help that and I know Korean because I’ve been studying so that I’m prepared for my stay in Seoul.” She was completely scarlet and turned awkwardly towards the window, distressed and more than I little bewildered at what was going on. She was startled when she heard him suddenly relax and laugh.

 

“I guess I'm sorry,” he said, “It’s been a really crazy morning, but I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. It’s just, like I said, it’s happened before so now I'm pretty wary about these kinds of things.” She was still confused but smiled back at him, “Yeah, sounds like you go through a lot sometimes, especially today I guess.” He settled back into his seat, “It just gets stressful when a fan-girl decides she wants some quality time with us and her father is rich enough to comply.” He suddenly thought of something.

 

“Oh wow, I'm probably making no sense right now. I sing for a group called Super Junior that’s pretty well known.

 

“Super Junior? “She pretended to think about the name, “Yeah I’ve heard of you guys." His face instantly changed to caution and she had to laugh out loud.

 

“Now don’t go there. Just because I know you doesn’t mean I'm stalking you. I've been studying Korean culture and I'm pretty sure you’re famous all over Asia. It’s not that much of a coincidence.” She was lying slightly but it was definitely better that way. He visibly relaxed again and she rolled her eyes, “You should calm down. Now, I think your name is…Cho Kyuhyun right? Am I pronouncing that right?” He smiled, “Yep that’s right, but what’s your name?”

 

“I'm Hannah-imnida, nice to meet you.”

 

“Nice to meet you as well. So you’re an exchange student, you said?”

 

“Yes, I'm pretty excited, though I've never been to a big city before, much less a different country. I'm not entirely sure what to expect."

 

“Well, Seoul is my hometown, you’ll love it, and it’s a very exciting place!” Before she could respond the sign for seatbelts flashed on above them and plane started moving. Her stomach dropped. She leaned into the window, needed to take deep breathes. She didn’t move the whole way down the runway and her eyes burned slightly. This would be the last time she would see America for a whole year. She wouldn’t be with her friends or family for almost twelve months. She suddenly regretted her choice. How could she do this, all alone in another country, another world? Panic swelled inside her chest as the wheels actually rose off the ground. She squeezed her eyes shut. It was like that moment on a huge and crazy roller coaster where it just starts and you know you want to get off immediately but you also know that there isn’t a way, that it’s too late now. That’s what it was, too late to change anything, and she very much wanted it to change, she wasn’t ready yet! The plane gained altitude, above the clouds, and she took a deep breath before turning square in her seat. She turned to see Kyuhyun was watching her.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked and she nodded bravely.

 

“Of course, just a little anxiety is all. And homesickness. I mean I'm leaving my home and even country to go to a place I've never been where the culture is completely different. It’s just nerve-wracking you know.  I know you travel internationally all the time but I'm not famous. And you always get to go home in a few days too-.” She suddenly stopped as she realized she was rambling on in English but he seemed to get the gist of it. He smiled encouragingly, “Don’t worry, we aren’t that bad and you’ll be back before you know it. You said you’ve never been to a big city, so Seoul will be new for you, but then where are you from?” he changed the subject. She smiled at him gratefully; she needed to be distracted.

 

“I'm from a small town in Arizona, but right now I'm going to college in Phoenix. I'm sure you’ve heard of Arizona, it’s the Grand Canyon State.” He had.

 

“Most people do,“ she grinned, already feeling better, “It really is beautiful, have you ever been?” And so they continued to talk. She talked about her college, her family, her friends, and her home. He talked about the other members, the dorm, and the city. After a while it didn’t even matter that this was the Cho Kyuhyun, he was such a normal person.

 

In the middle of him telling a story of one of their eventful performances his phone vibrated. When he read the text he laughed out loud.

 

“It’s Yesung,” he snickered, “looks like I was right about the fan-girl." He turned around in his seat to wink conspicuously at his friend. She turned around as well to see him four rows back and across the aisle next to a twelve year old Korean girl bouncing in her seat. She was talking extremely fast and Yesung was making ridiculous faces of horror to Kyuhyun. As they both turned back around she giggled, “That looks like fun. Poor guy. I hope Ryeowook’s not in the same boat.”

 

“Nope, the lucky man got a seat to himself in the back.”

 

“I am very offended by that!” she gave him a mock angry look.

 

“Well excuse me for wanting some peace and quiet after a very long weekend of performing all the way in the US!”

 

“Says the man who just spent the last half hour going on about his life.” He laughed, “Touché.”

 

By the time they had finally landed in Seoul sometime that evening, Kyuhyun and she had become sort of friends. She had completely forgotten who he was and they had just talked like he was anyone else. Once he got over his paranoia he was funny, smart, and very normal. When they had gotten off the plane, tired and cramped, he had immediately joined the other members of his group, but first he turned to say goodbye and tell her that if she ever needed anything that she should look him up. Then he had gone. All the way to her new apartment she had been in shock. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. Ever since high school she had been in love with Super Junior and everyone around her knew it. It was literally a dream come true to see, in person, her bias and even talk to him, for an entire plane ride! She could see why other girls set that up. She remembered rushing to get to her new home and immediately pull out her phone and computer to tell her friends. And that was only the beginning.