this chapter literally took me like five months to write i kid u not and anyways it's kinda confusing ish and not that fantastical but you know what at least it's been updated hollas

“Myungsoo.”

                “Hngg…”

                “Myungsoo.”

                Silence.

                “Myungsoooooooo.”

                “Ugh…”
                “Myungsoo, wake up!” By this point, Sungyeol was already up on his knees and pushing the lump on the bed around.

                “Go talk to L,” Myungsoo muttered from beneath the covers, his voice masked by sleepiness. “He might actually be awake by now.”

                “He’s not here.”

                “Go eat something.”

                “Myungsoo, please, we need to talk.”

                “I don’t…wanna talk.”

                “Are you feeling embarrassed now?”

                The lump was quiet for a good minute or two.

                “If I say yes, will you leave me alone for the next year?”

                “Myungsoo.”

                After not getting a response back, Sungyeol finally sighed and flopped back on the bed. Looking across the room, he could see that L was on the other side dozing off as if there were no tomorrow.

                “When’d L come home?”

                “If you’re so interested in finding out, why don’t you go ask him yourself,” Myungsoo muttered into his pillow.

                “Why do you guys even share a room? Aren’t you, like, 17 already?”

                “Why don’t you go and ask him that.”

                “Because –“

                “I just came home two hours ago and I need to sleep so if you guys would like to ing shut the hell up, that would be really nice.”

                Sungyeol sat up and looked over at L, whose eyebrows were furrowed but eyes were still shut close. yeah, he looked pretty pissed off.

                “Yeol just wanted to know when you came home,” Myungsoo groaned from his pillow spot. “And why we still share a room. Please entertain him on those facts.”

                “First of all, his name’s Sungyeol,” L corrected, eyes slowly opening, “and second of all, because sometimes Myung gets scared of the dark.”

                The last syllables were sneered, obviously being directed to press Myungsoo’s buttons.

                “Ya never know what’s in the dark,” Myungsoo shrugged, moving his face to the side so he could finally breathe. “Pretty scary stuff.”

                Well that didn’t work.

                “I’m going back to sleep,” L rolled his eyes, turning the other way. “If you guys wanna have another conversation, take it outside where the rest of us can’t hear you.”

                “Sorry,” Myungsoo sighed from his bed. “G’night. I baked cookies when you guys left, you can have some when you wake up.”

                “I saw when I came home.” L’s voice was turning sleepy again but that didn’t make it any less understandable. “They were good. Thanks.”

                “No problem.”

                Sungyeol couldn’t help but gape between the two because what the hell, what kind of brothers were they, really.

“Are you guys going out?”

                It was 3 in the afternoon and Sungyeol felt like he hadn’t done anything all day except lounge around in the Kim house eating free food Mama Kim was offering him.

                “Depends.”

                “Depends on what?” L snorted, leaving his leaning spot on the side of the kitchen doorway to walk inside the room and open the refrigerator. “It’s a simple yes or no answer.”

                “This isn’t me answering, it’s more of your brother.”

                “What about Myungsoo?”

                “He told me…that you liked me,” Sungyeol stated with such caution he was sure his voice was either going to go flat, or go silent.

                L’s free hand not holding the handle froze, he coughed, then stood up straight again, still not facing Sungyeol. “What if I did?”

                “I don’t…” The older felt his voice go thick. Oh, this wasn’t going to be good. Or pretty.

                Not like he had expected it to be either.

                “I don’t like you that way, L, I really don’t,” Sungyeol finished. Yeah, this hurt a lot more than he predicted it was.

                Especially when L finally turned around, a foreign look molded onto his face. His expression screamed Shut up, shut the up, I don’t need any more of this rejection and humiliation and just…I don’t need it but his eyes simply told, I know. I knew.

                L closed the refrigerator and blinked a while before looking away. It was like he’d swallowed a needle and it had traveled down the wrong blood stream and into his heart, slowly pricking and peeling at the veins forging his feelings.

                “I’m not Sungjong,” Sungyeol said in such a quiet voice he rivaled a newly born ant. “I’m not going to act on impulse. I’m sorry, L, but sometimes…sometimes, you don’t always exactly get the outcome you want, and sometimes you don’t end up happy but that’s okay because you’ll always find something in the end that makes up for everything and – L!”

                The back door was thrown open and before Sungyeol could think twice about chasing after him and getting deeper into the topic that L honestly didn’t want to discuss, he saw another body slowly close the door.

                “Myungsoo…”

                “I told you this was going to happen,” Myungsoo shrugged in the saddest voice the older felt like he’d ever heard. “I just…I knew it was.”

                “But that doesn’t mean it would’ve been any better if I didn’t say anything –“

                “I’ve lived with L all my life, he’s my little brother and I know him better than anybody else,” Myungsoo stressed. “He’s used to being second as much as I’m used to going first. He’s flawed, and if you make him realize how bad his flaws are, you’re just going to hurt him even more than you already are.”

                “But…”

                “Sungyeol, please,” Myungsoo begged, walking over to the kitchen table and standing in front of where Sungyeol had just recently slowly sat back down. “I don’t wanna give up on you because you’re literally one of the greatest things that’s happened to me since this dumb move, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let my brother suffer too.”

                “But he’s not suffering!” Sungyeol tried so hard to point out. “I’m one guy, and I’ve barely know him for two months. He’s not getting one thing he wants, that can’t be that awful. Please.”

                “L…L’s different, you can’t judge him based on that.” Myungsoo was frustrated enough to sit down, trying to prove something to his boyfriend. “He’s only really liked someone once, and that same person died on him –“            

                “Sungjong was special to you too!”

                “Yeah, but the difference is that I actually managed to get over Sungjong. L hasn’t. He can have some guy, or even some girl, screaming that they love him in front of his stupid face and he wouldn’t see it for his life because his mind’s still so set on getting the person that he wants until the end. And that’s mostly due to the fact that he couldn’t manage to do that with Sungjong.”

“Myungsoo!”

                L looked up from his coffee mug at the sound of his brother’s name, looking up to find Yoojong waving at him, a little smile on her face. She walked over to his table, taking the seat across him.

                “Hey,” L said with a tight smile, clearing his throat and sitting up so that his back touched the chair’s.

                “Sorry I came late, had to jump out the window,” Yoojong rolled her eyes. “Parents are being super strict today, especially after the big Disappearance of Yoojong last night.”

                “It’s fine, I didn’t think you were going to show up anyways,” L confessed, his hand reaching into his pocket and playing with his phone. He’d called Yoojong up on a whim and he wasn’t even sure why.

                Acting on impulse is stupid, L thought, remembering back to what Sungyeol had said earlier about Sungjong.

                “Are you kidding me?” Yoojong rolled her eyes. “Why wouldn’t I? And besides, you sounded super down so I brought some brownies. Homemade – they always help me when I’m suppressing that super hard urge to break down in public. Yeah.”

                L let out a light chuckle at the Tupperware being shoved his way. When he opened the lid, he saw a neatly cut plaster of brownies with stenciled sugar smiley faces layered on the top.

                “I’m not in the mood for sweet things right now, but I’m sure they taste great.”

                “They better. I made them with my sister’s recipe.”

                “The eyeliner helping one?”

                “Nah,” Yoojong coughed, reaching over to look at the coffee L had ordered. “The…dead one.”

                “Oh.”

                “But try the brownies, you’ll like them, I promise. And besides, it’ll be a great memoir to my sister.”

                L scanned down Yoojong, wondering what he really should do. The girl was going through something, obviously, and the most he could do to make her feel better was pretend to be his twin brother and eat her damn brownies.

winks

winks really hard

ANYWAYS OTL ALL U LYEOL FANS YEAH I SEE YOU ((me included lmao)) IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED I WROTE THE ALTERNATE ENDING TO DIG A LITTLE DEEPER WITH AN LYEOL ENDING WHERE YOU CAN CONVENIENTLY FND IT RIGHT HERE: scrape beneath the surface [http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/659037/scrape-beneath-the-surface-myungyeol-sungyeol-lyeol-infinitel]

which kinda
really
gives the ending to this story away WHICH LEADS ME TO MENTION THAT the next chapter will be the last one!

anyways ya'lls dw im crying too and ik this could've been super confusing so if you happened to have any questions SHOOT THEM AT ME i'll answer it for yaa! i rewrote a lot of the parts tbh cos it got waay weird and lol ok yeah

ANYWAYS for the people that stuck with this story i swear you're the bomb and i love you and thank you so much!!! i literally noticed a while ago that this story has 150+ subs and wow that makes me cry a lot of tears u probably dont even wanna see and just yeah

ps ill try to update the next one before next october lmao no promises through ;) but i do love you guys lots haha

[[c:17]]