AFF username: gjshinee

AFF profile url: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/27233

Story Title: you have to be a girl to know...

Story URL: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/41178/you-have-to-be-a-girl-to-know-comedy-key-romance-shinee

Genre: comedy

Chapter Length: 11

Main Characters: key n soo kyung(oc) pairings: i'm not sure yet

Rating: 

Extra:

Reviewer: 13itt3rsw33t

Here it goes

* Opening *

Title- 4/5  

- I was really curious on how the tittle itself implies on the story and that the more that I have read each chapter is that the more I am curious as to how will (the biggest player) Key or when will he become one [depends on how you progress your story]. then when MiHi was introduced I was already having this hunch that she is really a witch and would curse Key to become one... I'll probably should stop here, so there~.

Poster+Background- 4/5  

- Really love your second poster and I was crazy enough to be distracted by your background! to think that I would stop reading every now and then just because of Onew and Minho's poses? I was already thinking of them in their girl versions from the start when I read the tittle :D well enough of being crazy~ I just can't get this out of my mind... is the girl in the second poster Soo Kyung?

Description && Foreword- 8/10

- the description tells it all, supported by the foreword which explains clearly how he came to be and how the story itself will unfold. seriously, I like it.

Total: 16/20

* Contents *

Originality && OSM-ness- 7.5/10

- Well, so far, to start off, there were really no intentions or whatsoever that will point us that Key and Soo Kyung are the main pairings in here, and as so I speak, you might change the initial pairings, but sticking to these two, I might as well say that it is quite unique on how they were presented as best friends, a wierd duo as I may say, best friends that one is a playboy and a girl who helps her best friend with his woman problems when he is making out with another woman. I am really dying to know what will happen in the next chapters.

Plot- 10/15

- As I am dying to know how the story will progress, it really is an interesting story. though the story is just beginning the main point of the plot is surely becoming clearer in every chapter. just that there are some scenes wherein I am kinda lost since it is all or mostly the way the story is said is in a POV manner, well I'll just continue this on on the *way of writing corner* since it is more on the typos...

Chapter Titles- 3/5

- Nothing new though, just that every chapter tittle mirrors what is clearly happening in the chapter. you could've made something else to describe your readers more that could catch their eyes and read what really it meant with the chapter.

Flow- 10.5/15

- the flow of the story was quite amusing yet messy, with all the POV's and then you switch with another's POV with the exact senteces, only changing their thoughts, it somehow makes me kinda lost, but I didn't mind it though after a few chapters. in some ways, I could feel that "was this done a manner that you were being chased or so" but then, I'm sure that it maybe just the way how the story went on and that somehow the thought of it didn't last long since every chapter the story is understandable.

Total: 31/45

* Expressions *

Characterization -11.5/15

- well, Key being as the almighty Key and a playboy was really played, getting his way and all was actually portrayed and Soo Kyung being a best friend of Key was like the supportive one in one way or another. I was thinking that the story usually revolves around Soo Kyung as how she never misses a chapter or maybe not in the first chapter, but I enjoyed her character so much, like how she easily switched her moods and all. lastly I really want to tell about how evil Taemin is in here, how I wish Soo Kyung would never knew that he is not that innocent as what she think he is, but in a way I would really love to see her expression though. :D

Way of writing- 7/10

- the way you wrote your story is mostly in POV's, I may have pointed it out already and I might as well include that I have gotten over with it. just to point it out that you could have given a more detailed situations or descriptions with regards to your POV's so that we (readers) could aslo have a clearer view on your story, it's scenes and such to give more feeling into it, more colorful in a way.

speaking of colorful, may I also point it out that I have some difficulties while reading your fic because of the font color that you used. you could make use of some darker colors or maybe just the default color which is black since the color that you used is light and I have a poor vission so, while reading I had my glasses on and I was having a hard time reading it at first.

Mechanics [Grammar && Spelling && etc]- 6/10

- since you've written your story in POV manner, there were some typos that were like disturbing me for a while, like the usage of the " " and the times not used so as to indicate whether it is being said or thought. another is that there were words that are not separated by a space and that some were misspelled. though I really have gotten over with them, I would just like to point it out to you so that your story would be reader friendly. I also suggest that you proofread it or maybe you could ask somebody, I know a lot of betareaders for hire, for it to be cleaned. anyhow, i didn't really care about it anyways since it was just a letter being added or lost in some words but I didn't mind since I read the whole word itself, not by letters though.

Total: 24.5/35

Partial Total Score: 71.5/100

Bonus- 13/15

- hell~ the story itself was fun and I really want you to update soon. well, I do hope that you won't take my criticisms in a bad way. people do makes mistakes and that doesn't mean that it really has to be pointed right at their faces, I only did that to help you and mind you, I also get those every time since the English subject is really not a good friend of mine. I do hope you'll continue to make each chapter as exciting as it is or maybe much more that that.

update soon! and good luck! ^_^

=^_^=

TOTAL = 71.5

B

R E C O M M E N D E D ! ! ! 

I am saving your bonus points until you have finished your story =D hope that you too will have fun while writing your story as much as I have fun reading it. keep on inspiring people with your works.

hwaiting for you to update..XDD