AFF username: wefilla

AFF profile url: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/34236

Story Title: Mine To Love

Story URL: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/41882/mine-to-love-khuntoria-nichkhun-victoria

Genre: Romance, Mystery

Chapter Length: 6 (on-going)

Main Characters && Pairings: Victoria, Nichkhun

Rating: G

Extra: 

Reviewer: 13itt3rsw33t

* Opening *

Title- 3/5  

- the title itself was catchy, it was as if the love or the person in the story was already written and was destined to be hers [or his]. I could already feel so much emotion from the title itself.

Poster+Background- 4/5  

- the posters in each chapter mirrors every emotion of the characters and the background [i don't know if you just wants to stick to one but it doesn't bothers me much since] it definitely suits the serenity of the story, its image helps the reader to imagine how every scene turns its way.

Description && Foreword- 7/10

-  well, in either way, it was a nice description for the story but you could have made it more descriptive for the title of the story itself though. or maybe a little bit more mysterious in some ways. about your foreword, it's nice to hear that this is your very first story, compared to mine, it was so childish and in one look you coould actually say that it is a work of an amatuer, :D but you could have used the foreword as a short summary of the story though.

Total: 14/20

* Contents *

Originality && OSM-ness- 8/10

- well, the story started just right, just that the [main] character(s) was anonymously introduced though we clearly knew who she was or how Victoria's name was not revealed, how the POV stayed its way and didn't stepped down even a notch, and i like it very much. also that how she describes her surroundings made me pull into her own world, picturing every detail in my mind as I went on with the story.

Plot- 9.5/15

- the way you include another character is very promising, it makes the story more mysterious as to who and what is their connection to the main character is and it is not messy. 

the story, I pressume, is nowhere from the of it, I still can't clearly say the wholesomeness of the story but one thing's for sure, the two are bound to be together in some ways or so I see it.

while just that the plot is not that new much, though I couldn't tell much of how the story goes, but one thing is for sure, this is a "girl meets boy story" with some mysteries that shadows each of their lives.

but what do we know? it is still beginning, isn't it?

Chapter Titles- 4/5

- it clearly does have its relation to each chapters as it gives us the impression of what to expect in the succeeding chapters and so.

Flow- 13/15

- I could really tell for sure that every chapter is short-length. it isn't that progresses fast but the chapter is just short.

and when you want us to divert our imagination from one place to another it doesn't seem to be jumpy or what that makes us readers confused when you jumped from one place then back.

and I can't say that the way you wrote it is in a rush, it was perfectly clear, and understandable.

Total: 34.5/45

* Expressions *

Characterization -11/15

- I couldn't easily tell Victoria's character, it was like she is like this in the first paragraph and now a little bit different on the next yet, you could really tell that she was person from the society wherein mostly rich people are categorized and also a curious person. in Khun's character, you could easily tell that he is the type of guy that who wants to play and a person who does his things his way.

Way of writing- 8/10

- again, the story is well written, and clearly understandable. the way the story was written was so easy to read that in one glance you could actually picture out every scene. just that every chapter is just short but it still presents every chapter well. the details were clearly evident that helps the readers in reading.

Mechanics [Grammar && Spelling && etc]- 8/10

- grammar and spelling weren't much a bother. it was well proofread and so far i hadn't encountered such problems.

Total: 27/35

Partial Total Score: 75.5/100

Bonus- 13/15

- not just that I'm [or we're] good, i could really give you this bonus since i really didn't have a hard time reading your story and it was well written and that I enjoyed the story so far. I am looking forward as to how your story progress. hope you could keep on making me go edging on my seat as I further read your story. :D

I am anticipating for the next chapter though on what will Khun do next! =D

update soon! good luck! ^_^

=^_^=

TOTAL = 75.5

B

R E C O M M E N D E D ! ! ! 

As much as I wanted to include the bonus points in the total score, I though that I might as well save it until i could have finally read the complete fic. I am saving this one :D I am really happy to see that you have recovered your drafts gor this fic and hope that you could continue doing this one. for five chapters, you leave me hanging by your story. update soon and good luck! 

me ish hwaiting. XDD