"Taecyeon can you please come with me to conference room 2? I have some data there from the previous projects and we need to revise them for this proposal..."

I stood  off my seat, taking a glance at Donghae who's been staring at me for 5 hours. He's a mess. But so am I. This is also the real world, I can't just stop functioning because I am emotionally wrecked. I have half of the people from the office waiting for me to finish the proposal and get an approval to move on to the next stage of this project. 

"So what's the status between you and Donghae? I heard the everything from the office to the carpark last night..."

Damn. He heard us. There's pros and cons of having a workmate living in the same apartment complex as you. You don't have to travel far to meet up outside business hours for work related stuffs, but at the same time he knows everything that's been happening to me, work-wise and personal life-wise.

"You heard it. What's the point of asking?"

I tried to dodge his calm question by answering in a defensive manner. Obviously I don't want to talk about it.

"Seems like you don't want to talk about it. That's okay. If you ever need to do so, I'm a floor away at night and 2 desks away at daytime."

He said that in the most reassuring way. I chuckled a little bit.

I unconsciously sat on the side of the open conference room where I could see Hae from his desk. I used to sit around here all the time so I could take a glance at him while we're having a 7-hour meeting. I sat down. Our eyes met. Taecyeon saw me and he shifted his chair to block my line of sight to Donghae and so his to me. "Thanks", I muttered.

"You know Jess everyone knows there's something up with you two. There's no cheesy stealing glances anymore, no cheeky coffee breaks and all those gross things you used to do. What's up Jess, tell me. I'll listen."

He sincerely looked at me in the eye. As much as I want to tell him, I can't seem to bring my mouth to open up.

"We have a lot of work to do Taec. My personal life can wait after this proposal."

He grabbed my hand out of nowhere and I was very surpised.

"Jess, look at you. You lost a lot of weight, you don't seem like you've been getting enough sleep. You're a big mess Jessica. How can I not concern myself over you? You're physically messed up right now, I wonder how emotionally hurt you are that you can't even try to hide it anymore!?"

There was long awkward silence. I shook off his hand and rushed to the toilet. I looked at myself in the mirror. He was right. I'm such a mess. I'm wearing a white flowy shirt with black pants and a cardigan which I didn't even bother removing some dust particles. My hair was in a messy low bun. I think it was a miracle I managed to put moisturiser on my face. 

I walked out of the toilet, Donghae was waiting outside. 

"It's lunch break Jess. Can we please talk?"

I quietly nodded. We were walking side by side on the stairs while he was opening his subway. "Want some?"

I shook my head.

"Jess I told you everything last night. I don't know why you're doing this."
 

He said as we walked outside the office building.
I don't know what to say.
I have nothing to say.

"Jessica please, talk to me."

No matter how much I tried to bring myself to talk, I can't. I don't know if it's because I haven't heard what I wanted to hear or I really just have nothing to say. Hopefully it's the first one. I love him, but I just need a moment for myself, to not get too dependent on him.
 

"Hae I was so lost without you. I love you so much, you're the only person I visualised my future with. I promise you, you won't lose me because I don't want to lose you. I just need some time for myself right now. When you were gone, I didn't realise you've been there for me so much. I needed you to text me so often or else my day won't go on without you. I wanted you to ask me how I was doing or else my day wouldn't be complete. I'm planning to take a leave of absence after this proposal. I'm taking half a year off. I'm telling you this not because I wanted you to wait for me. I'm telling you this because I am going away to find myself again and do what I always wanted. You'll always be in my heart Hae, that will never change even if yours does."

I said it as I let go of his hand and slowly walked back to the office. I don't have the heart to look at him because I know how painful it'll be. 


"I love you, Hae..."



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Seriously idk why the photo uploading sites keep on resizing my photos! Soz guys 

Just in case you also have no idea how old this story is, this was published 2013. That was back when I was in highschool and aff is just starting to get big. As you can see I'm boasting 5-year badge and also a pioneer badge lol