Love Note.2

I hate the way you look at me. I hate the way how the cheesy lines form inside my head, and you’re the one saying it.

I kept reminiscing the first date we had; it was just simply in my house. I fell sick because I spent all the time gathering my courage to tell you that I like you outside your house. I hate how I spent 5 hours walking around the town, mixing up my thoughts. I don’t know you were following me, and every single thought I said out loud were captured by your ears. The way I said I should confess to Donghae, I really really like him and such were all heard by you. I wonder what you thought about it. Well, it’s us now; I don’t think it really matters. As of today, we’re in love. It’s us.

Looking at our photos, I hope we’ll stay eternal. You like to take photos, I like drawing. I remember we spent a day, you keep taking photos while I’m memorising your features and I drew your face at the end of the day. I love how our eyes connect. I love the way you look at me. You’ll never see how our love will go, but let’s live for today.  It’s selfish, but it’s forever. I remember Allie and Noah, waited for long years but still ended up together. I keep saying I want to be a bird, and then you said you’re a bird too. Just then I realised it’s from my favourite movie, The Notebook. But for real, if I’ll be reincarnated I wanted to be bird. Freedom is free, gravity is no force. Every single kiss is a magical taste, that’s how I describe it.

/

He has to go abroad, 2 months actually. There’s a series of seminar programs for engineers worldwide, and he is selected. No matter how much I wanted to stop him, I can’t. It can be the start of his life breakout, and I don’t to be selfish. It’s just two months, right? We still have forever. Forever and eternity.

The first two weeks were hell. The seminar program is held at US, which means there’ll be huge time gap. He can’t call me in the morning, because it’ll be terribly late here. I can’t call him at night, because he’s at seminar. Weekends are also no good. We just received a new project at the firm and we have to work double to fill Donghae’s absence in group. This continued for another two weeks. Almost no communication. I feel weak, sleepless and tired. I hate how I can’t hide to everyone what I feel.

/

“A grande caramel latte please”

 It’s my third cup, actually. I’m sitting in our usual place, Café Diamond. It’s been a month and two weeks. I skipped work today because I feel terrible; sleepless nights and stress at work plus the absentee Donghae who never contacted me. I almost forgot I have a boyfriend.

But that thought was erased. I felt stabbed. I saw him, kissing another girl named Tiffany. I met her before he went to US. She’s a total opposite of me. She’s a classy girl; wearing a very short, tight black mini dress and silver blazer with shiny high heels and silver necklace. She has dark, smoky make up. I realised what I am. Wearing a black t-shirt with a light pink cardigan and dark blue skinny jeans and canvas shoes, I realised I am nothing.

I ran out of the café, bumping into someone accidentally. He held my hand and called my name. It was him. He saw my tears fall down, but he just let my arm go, and I ran away.

I never thought of this.

What will I do when a day like this would come?