vii. the occasional loneliness

"Well," YuRi says, staring at YoonA's motionless figure on the bed, "look who came."

YoonA groans because she can't think of a better response. YuRi slips into bed with her, though she's wearing jeans and it scratches uncomfortably against YoonA's bare thighs. YoonA scoots away from her but turns to look at YuRi. The curtains are being pushed around by the light wind. The night is silent and in their district, they only hear police sirens and sometimes a motorcycle speeding down the road.

"YoonA," YuRi says as she folds her arms behind her head.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry."

YoonA's eyes are still shut. YuRi wishes they would open to look at her. "I'm sorry too."

"Did you meet your girlfriend?"

"No, I broke up with her last month."

"Oh. That ."

"Where's Sica unnie?"

"Out on a date with DongHae, I think."

"What does she see in him?"

"American girls," YuRi says quietly, as it if was self-explanatory. Tiffany almost always fall for some guy too, even if they barely saw each other at a road junction. "She reminds me too much of Tiffany."

"MiYoung?"

"Yeah," YuRi smiles on her own.

YoonA's hand reaches out to grab YuRi's, but ends up sliding down YuRi's arm. She hums disapprovingly, and then YuRi finds YoonA's hand in response.

"Is that why you let her stay?"

YuRi's lips thin out. "No, she needed a place to stay."

YoonA moves closer until their shoulders touch. She mumbles, "You're so cute when you try to lie."

"How would you know, you aren't even looking."

"I've seen your goddamned face for thirteen years. Trust me, I can tell."

"Oh, it's been thirteen years."

"Yeah. People like us are supposed to get bored of each other rather quickly. I'm surprised you let me stay."

YuRi shrugs, and she feels like she's been doing that a lot recently. "I was lonely. It being alone in a big apartment. I felt like a loser."

"You are."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Why can't you just say it?"

"Say what?"

YoonA moves even closer, and there is this glowing heat that's getting stifling. She leans her cheek against YuRi's collarbone, YoonA feels herself drifting in and out of sleep when she says it, feeling too tired for anything.

"That you let Sica unnie stay because you love her."

YuRi has no proper response to that, and she's fortunate because YoonA is already asleep. YuRi almost feels like YoonA cared little about YuRi's answer because any lie could not wash away the truth.

—ジュリエット