Woodland Creatures
My Mind's EyeSaturday, April 29th 2023
“Years of knowing the crazy and I still amazed at watching her cooking in a goddamned kitchen without setting her own on fire.”
“Conrad, can you stop your useless commentary and make yourself useful for once?”
“What did you need babe?” Stacie said, sickeningly saccharine. Tiffany smiled and shook her head at the antics of the two.
Jessica answered without batting an eyelash, “Grab those blue serving plates from the top right cupboard over there.”
“Oooh…you’re feeding us from your fancy dishes Jessica Jung?”
“Shut up or I’m feeding you from the cat’s bowl.”
“Your cat has a name Jung Jessica,” Tiffany piped up from where she was leaning at the side of the kitchen, watching her girlfriend cook.
“Yea. It’s called ‘The Cat’.”
“Yah…”
“I refuse. Nope. Nope! Don’t give me those puppy eyes I know you have Tiffany! Do not! I refuse on all moral grounds and beliefs to call it anything other than that. That thing is a menace.”
“Pfft! Jung you forfeit all moral grounds the moment you’re dating the girl. She could insist on calling your cat ‘Octo’ and you’d have to comply.”
“Says. Who.”
“Says Stacie’s Guide to the Galaxy.”
“I. Will. Not. Call. That. Thing. Apricat. I will not! You can’t make me!”
“Fine then! What do you want to name her? And don’t say ‘The Cat’ or I swear to god Jessica Jung I will not kiss you for a week.”
“We’re still sitting pretty at first base eh? You two baby gays still haven’t rubbed tacos yet?”
Tiffany choked on her drink, Jessica almost cut off her own fingertip, “Stacie!” “Conrad!”
“What Gumdrop…I’m just worried for your hooha. Contrary to popular belief, she can mould ok? Like, you’re prob–”
“Conrad, shut your face-hole about the state of our vajayjays and get me those goddamned plates woman!”
Stacie made a face at both women before reaching up to grab three of the plates Jessica had asked for.
“Oh. Grab four. I’m having another guest over.”
“Ooh…whose our myste–” A knock interrupted Stacie’s sentence. The brunette shrugged and went over to throw the front door open with a dramatic flourish, “Welcome to the Jung residence, Stacie not at your service!”
The blonde woman behind the door startled a bit at the sudden greeting before smiling politely at Stacie, “Hi apologies for my unpunctuality, I was waylaid when my cab took an incorrect turn. I’m Aubrey, Aubrey Posen,” the blonde said as she stepped in, a bottle of expensive looking red in her right arm, formally holding out a slender hand for a handshake. Stacie stared at said perfectly manicured hand for a heartbeat before swatting it soundly away and engulfing the blonde in a bone crushing hug. Stacie doesn’t do handshakes outside of work settings. “Any friend of my baby gays is a friend of mine! Take your shoes off and come on in! The other Barbie is still cooking,” Stacie let go as abruptly as she had hugged the blonde, leaving the shorter woman reeling a bit. Aubrey was not much one for physical contact, she was very particular about who touched her and how. What had happened just now with Stacie definitely threw her for a bit of a loop.
Wait, did she just call me Barbie?
“Aubrey? What are you doing here?”
Aubrey sidestepped the weird Amazonian brunette still at the doorway and quickly removed her heels before smiling at the youngest ballerina in their company. Bottle of red still cradled in one arm, she gently hugged the younger ballerina. She really did have a soft spot for Tiffany.
“Hi! Jessica graciously invited me over for dinner. We started off on the wrong foot the night of your first date and we both had intentions to make amends, for your sake. So she asked me a couple days ago when she came to pick you up from rehearsals if I was free for dinner tonight. Clearly I acquiesced. I hope it wasn’t too presumptuous of me, but I bought a red for dinner, Jessica said she was making
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