You were even more confused about Kikwang than ever before. Even thinking about him made you turn red and you would feel all hot, and your heart would start beating fast and erratic.

Why?

You were falling for him.............but you couldn't, couldn't, couldn't, love him.

You will never fall for another guy.

I am not in love with Lee Kikwang. You firmly told yourself. You repeated this in your head, day and night. I am not in love with Lee Kikwang. I am not in love with Lee Kikwang.

After three days of this, you finally started to believe it.

I am not in love with Lee Kikwang.

You found you can look at Kikwang without turning SO red, and your heart wouldn't pound SO hard.

You grinned triumphantly to yourself. You managed to bottle your feelings up. Now you will NEVER fall in love again.

*******************************************************************************************************

The end of the school day. "You coming, ~~~~~-ah?" Junhyung asked.

You shrugged. "Sorry, I got in trouble in science class. I have to stay behind and clean the classroom."

Hyunseung laughed and you threw your pencil at him.

They left you in he classroom and began to walk home. "You coming, Kikwang?" Sunhi asked.

Kikwang hesitated. "Um..........I think I'll go back and help ~~~~~-ah clean up. You guys go ahead......."

They smiled knowingly and let him go. Junhyung and Hyunseung had to drag Yoseob away. "NO!!! HE'S GOING TO GO CONFESS TO ~~~~~~ NOONA!!! I CAN TELL!!!! I CAN SEE IT IN HIS EYES!!!" Yoseob screamed.

"Oh, Yoseob, leave it." Sunhi sighed. "It's time you get over your schoolboy crush on ~~~~~-ah."

Yoseob's lip trembled. "I don't have a schoolboy crush on ~~~~~ noona. I really love her."

Junhyung groaned. "Oh, man. It's just one trouble after another. First we had to deal with ~~~~~-ah's crappy love life, now we're going to have to deal with Yoseob's too!"

*******************************************************************************************************

Kikwang was really upset. He noticed-----and, if he had to confess, enjoyed-----the way you would turn red and stutter around him, and even avoid his eyes. It gave him a small hope that you might have feelings for him.

But lately, you managed to talk to him normally. This upset him. Were you getting over any feelings you had for him? What if you had some feelings towards him before, but because he waited so long you got over them, and he missed his chance?

"I'm not missing my chance this time!" Kikwang said firmly. "I will definitely confess to her! Today! Right now! Time to be a man!"

*********************************************************************************************************

You sighed as you mopped the tabletop surfaces in the classroom. This . You wished somebody could help you, or at least do it for you.

You heard the door open, and you looked over. "K-Kikwang!" You choked out, feeling a rush of heat in your face. You forced yourself to bottle it down. I am not in love with Lee Kikwang. I am not in love with Lee Kikwang.

You relaxed and, feelings buried deep underneath the surface, you smiled in a relaxed manner. "What's up?"

"~~~~~-ah, I..........." Kikwang panted, taking deep gasping breaths. "I........." He couldn't say it. He was too blinded by the dazzling brilliance in your smile. "I............"

Your smile slowly fell. You saw something in Kikwang's eyes. What was it?

"~~~~~-ah, I......I............I have something to tell you." Kikwang began slowly, uncertainly. He looked up and shyly stared at you.

Love.

No..................that's impossible.........................but................................

Yah, Kim ~~~~~~.

WOAH, CONSCIENCE!!!! YOU'RE BACK!!!!!!! How was your vacation?

IDIOT!!!! Is that really the most important thing right now?

Oh, right. Sorry. Um...........what's going on?

You give me such a headache, god! Instead of accepting your feelings, you push them down and bury them! I can't BELIEVE I have to tell you everything!!!

Well? What's my true feelings, huh? I managed to bury them in a bottle, so what? How do I really feel, then?

Isn't it obvious? You're in LOVE with Lee Kikwang, you pabo.

The bottle you were using to bottle up your feelings broke, and you gasped as all your feelings bubbled up to the surface.

"No." You whispered.

Kikwang hesitated, looking confused. "No?"

"No. You........why are........you.........how could you..........." You were so overwhelmed by your emotions you couldn't speak properly. Finally, you managed to force out some words in a sentence that made sense.

"What are you doing to me?" You asked in a trembling voice.

"What? What do you mean?" Kikwang asked, confused. He took a step towards you, and you quickly backed away again.

"Why are you doing this?" You yelled furiously at him, your voice breaking slightly. "What are you doing to me? Why are you making me feel so weird? Why am I always different around you? What gave you the RIGHT to make me feel so strange? Huh?"

"What......? ~~~~~~-ah, you........" Kikwang took more steps forward, but you continued backing away until your legs hit the table behind you. You couldn't move anywhere else anymore.

Kikwang continued to move forward, and you panicked. You couldn't handle him getting near you. You felt like you were going to explode, or cry, or beat him up, or something.

"Don't!" You shouted, and he stopped walking. "Don't...........don't come any closer."

Kikwang's eyes widened. He never saw you like this before. You were staring at him with tears in your eyes, your bottom lip trembling, as though you were about to cry. The hand that you were holding out to stop him from moving any closer to you was trembling. Suddenly, the normally fierce, outgoing, uncaring girl you once were turned soft, fragile, delicate.......scared.

Suddenly, Kikwang realized he didn't need to confess to find out your true feelings. It was all there, right there in front of him.

The way you truly felt about him, it was so clear it was like reading it on a piece of paper.

Kikwang's eyes softened. "~~~~~-ah.........I'm sorry, I never meant to make you feel this way."

"To HELL you shouldn't have!" You yelled. "You should never have........." Your hand shook, and you felt yourself break down. You covered your face in your hands so he wouldn't see the tears spill out from under your eyelids..

Kikwang walked forward and hugged you tightly. Instead of pushing him away, you welcomed his warmth. You cried into his broad shoulder. Kikwang smiled, so happy he couldn't put his feelings into words, and pulled you closer to his body.

"I didn't want this to happen." You sobbed. "I don't want this. I don't want to feel this way. Not again. Not when the last time I did, I........"

"Ssssh, it's okay. I get it. It's okay." Kikwang whispered, your hair. "But, ~~~~~-ah, I want you to listen to me. I am not Yoon Doojoon. I am Lee Kikwang. And I will never do something to upset you. I will kill myself first."

He pulled away from you gently and went face-to-face with you. "Look into my eyes, ~~~~~-ah. Look into my eyes while I say this to you, and TELL me if I'm lying."

He stared deeply into your eyes and said "I love you, ~~~~~-ah. And I promise I will NEVER, ever hurt you."

Your breath caught in your throat. "Am I lying, ~~~~~-ah?" Kikwang asked softly, leaning forward so your noses almost touched. "Am I lying? Tell me if I am. Please."

You stuttered when you said "You're n-n-not ly-lying." And you knew he wasn't.

"If you said you loved me back, ~~~~~-ah, would YOU be lying?"

You hesitated, blushing, and after a long moment whispered "N-no."

Kikwang reached up to your cheek, still looking deeply into your eyes. Then he leaned forward and kissed you.

It was perfect, and real. It didn't happen in a dream, it didn't almost-happen before getting interrupted by something. It was a million times more amazing than your first kiss with Doojoon.

Kikwang pulled away slightly, and he was smiling like crazy. "I can't believe it. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you, and now, I get to finally kiss you, hold you........." He your hair and pulled you in for a hug.

You were still crying, but you were happy too. You felt yourself smiling as well through your tears. It's been a long time since you were as happy as this. The feeling of euphoria when you realize you're in love is absolutely appalling.

Kikwang moved his head slightly so he could kiss the light scar near your temple. You felt it tingle, and shudders ran down your spine.

"I love you, ~~~~~~-ah." He said softly. "I love you."

You didn't need to say anything. Your answer was clear.

I love you too, Kikwang. You smiled and melted under his touch. You didn't want this moment to end. You wanted to hold onto this moment forever, remember it forever.

Nothing, not even the daily dread of seeing Doojoon and his friends again, could upset you at a time like this.

dd