Seunghyun pushes him away roughly. He couldn’t even form words to describe what he felt at that moment. He just felt so angry at Jiyong, so angry at the world for existing, so angry at the situation, so angry at himself for letting this happen.

Just so, so angry.

“WHAT?!” Seunghyun asked while wiping his mouth. Did Jiyong say he was doing this to get ? “DON’T AROUND WITH M-”

Seunghyun was stepping backwards now as Jiyong crashed their lips together again. The younger man had both hands on his head trying to steady him as he assaulted his mouth. When Seunghyun’s back collided at the wall, Jiyong pinned him there with another forceful kiss.

Seunghyun pushes him more roughly now and Jiyong steps back. Truthfully, Seunghyun had to gather all of his strength to push him away the second time. A weaker man would crumble at Jiyong’s advances because his kisses could scramble your mind and leave you wanting more. It would be easy to give in to your carnal desires but Seunghyun wanted to be a rational human.

“You’re unbelievable. Seriously Jiyong. ” Seunghyun asked him, not minding to fix the hair Jiyong had messed with his fingers. “Even for you, this is too much.”

Jiyong just looked at him with a poker face. Seunghyun could tell Jiyong knew this was out of line. Jiyong was fully aware of the absurdity of this situation.  Jiyong wasn’t stupid; he knew what he was doing.

Seunghyun’s eyes couldn’t help but darken as Jiyong’s lips curved into a little smile. Then Jiyong laughed softly; it looked like he couldn’t control hiding it. Seunghyun was thinking that Jiyong had finally stopped with the mind games. But then he puts shaky hands on his face, wiping the tears that fell as he continued to softly laugh.

“There, you got me. ” Jiyong told him as he cried. “I’ve never been so low, never acted so indecent and filthy.” Jiyong looked at him in the eyes. He’d never been so desperate as to force his body to someone like that.

The way he said that made Seunghyun’s heart unexpectedly ache. Were this Jiyong’s honest feelings?

“Do I have to beg for you to love me?” Jiyong asked, his voice cracking. “Look at what I’ve become. Have I got your attention now?”

Seunghyun could only stare at Jiyong’s weakened figure. He never looked so disgraceful all his life. Jiyong had always been the confident, self-assured, dignified star. Seeing him like this, fraught and desperate –how did he come to this?

Jiyong had said earlier that he felt neglected. Was it true? Seunghyun wasn’t aware that Jiyong was feeling uncared for. Was he doing all of this just to get his attention?

“All I wanted was for you to love me.” Jiyong continued when Seunghyun  failed to respond.

“But I do love you.” Seunghyun answered back. Finally, they had stopped shouting. “I never stopped loving you. Maybe I am part to blame for not being able to make you see that.” After days of fighting with each other, finally it feels like they could have a serious conversation. “I do love you Jiyong.”

“Show me.”

The next moment, Jiyong was taking off his jacket and ing his long sleeves. In a flash, the articles were on the floor and Jiyong was left standing there in his black undershirt.

“Comfort me.”

Seunghyun was left speechless, standing frozen, as Jiyong slowly walked  up to him. Clearly, it was unwise to acquiesce to another one of Jiyong’s incongruous requests. Seunghyun knew for a fact that giving in would be harmful to both of them, resulting in more grief and heartache after the deed was done.

Jiyong put his face close to his, pecking his lips, leaving butterfly kisses around it.

After all, Jiyong only knew one way to comfort.

And that was Seunghyun’s weakness.

-=oOo=-

This time it was Jiyong’s turn to be pinned against the wall as Seunghyun grabbed him and lifted him high, slamming his back on the hard concrete as his lips ravaged both their sense of reason. Jiyong’s legs automatically wrapped around Seunghyun’s waist, straddling Seunghyun as he slowly rubbed against him.

Seunghyun could already feel regret as he gnawed  on Jiyong’s collarbones, running his tongue and teeth into the milky flesh of Jiyong’s neck. All the while Jiyong was panting, breathlessly into his ears, running his fingers though his hair, drowning in the sensations.

He knew they were headed into the path of destruction but Seunghyun couldn’t help but be at the mercy of his raw desires. This ever growing want of physical intimacy with Jiyong was inexplicably difficult, if not impossible, to put out. This lust after all, is the root of all this wretchedness.

Jiyong arched his back and put a hand behind Seunghyun’s neck, pulling the man’s face closer to his chest. The younger man was craving for him so bad that he pushed his nails on his skin, unable to hide his excitement.

This is what Jiyong wanted, Seunghyun convinced himself.

He wasn’t hurting Jiyong now.

Before they could go any further, there was knock on the door.

“Seunghyun-shii,is everything alright?” An assistant was standing by door. If they were any louder, she wouldn’t have a problem guessing what was going on inside. Normally, no one would be daring enough to disturb him while he was in his dressing room; he guesses John must have asked her to do it.

“Call him.” Jiyong whispered as he unwrapped himself from Seunghyun. Jiyong reached for his pockets and dialled John’s number.

“I’ll be right out!” Seunghyun shouts to the door.  He accepts the phone that Jiyong was handing to him and pressed it against his ear. He watched Jiyong pick up his things from the floor as he waited for the director to pick up.

“John, yeah, we were just talking.” Seunghyun lowered his head down as he tried to catch his breath. “We should be leaving so I’ll just go ahead.” He shot a glance at Jiyong – he was waiting for him to finish. “Thanks. See you next week.”

As soon as Seunghyun hung up, they were exiting the building. Jiyong’s car was parked outside and they were in front of it in a minute.

“Your place or mine?” Jiyong asked as the car beeped into life. Seunghyun didn’t see the glimmer in Jiyong’s eyes when he saw John was smoking not far from where they were. It looked like John was so distressed at what he saw at dinner that he went out here immediately after they left the table.

“Find a hotel.” Seunghyun answered while he got inside the passenger seat.

Jiyong tried hard not to grin as he saw John was listening in their conversation. Before he disappeared inside the car, he ran his hands through his hair, just to make sure the director didn’t miss the red marks and love bites in his exposed neck.

-=oOo=-

Seunghyun sat up. His head was pounding just minutes before. After the cloud of pleasure was lifted, he could see clearly now. Jiyong still had an arm around his waist and he fidgeted in the bed because of the unwanted movement.

“This is wrong.” Seunghyun whispered into the darkness. He couldn’t say it before, not while they were doing the act. Guilt always came after the crime was done.

“I don’t want to fight anymore.” Jiyong sleepily told him while grabbing Seunghyun’s arm and pulling him back down. The man didn’t budge.

“I’m sorry.” Seunghyun put both hands on his face. He had done it again. After promising to never  take advantage of Jiyong, he just couldn’t stop himself. This was wrong, so terribly wrong.

“Don’t say that after making love to me.” Jiyong sat up too, now caressing Seunghyun’s arms and placing drowsy kisses in his shoulders. “Don’t apologize.” Jiyong gently pushed him down the bed again. He buried his face in the corner of Seunghyun’s shoulder and neck.

Seunghyun ran a hand on Jiyong’s hair. They have been in this stage of the cycle before and he knew it was a temporary calm. Nonetheless, they were talking and if he airs his sentiments now, Jiyong might listen.

Before Seunghyun could even open his mouth though, Jiyong was already speaking.

“I was really scared that night.” Jiyong tightened his embrace. “When the car was about to run you over, I was really scared.” He closed his eyes tight. “I couldn’t focus on recording and I ended up cutting it short because I wanted to see you.”

“But still, you shouldn’t have gone.” Seunghyun scolded him. “Work will be difficult for me now.”

“I don’t trust him.” Jiyong opened his eyes to look at Seunghyun in the face. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you…” He brings a hand to his face. “The way he touches you... One day he’s going to try to steal you from me.”

“Can you trust me?” Seunghyun challenged him. “If you can’t trust him, can you trust me instead?”

Jiyong nods silently. Seunghyun hopes, hopes with all his heart that this could end the anger between them.

They share another kiss before surrendering into the night.

-=oOo=-

Jiyong wakes up. He looks at the man beside him and finds out that they were still on the same position they were in when they slept. He looks around for the source of the loud ringing that woke him up. He glanced at the bedside clock – it was already past noon – but it was not ringing.

He picks up Seunghyun’s pants from the floor, annoyed at the loud sounds. He was about to cancel the call but then he sees the director’s name on the screen. He quickly presses the accept button before Seunghyun wakes up.

“Hello?” he said sleepily. It was a fact that he had just woke up but he made that very clear to the person on the other line.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” John’s voice sounded concerned.

“Yeah, who is this?” Jiyong asked, still in the same sleepy voice but this time, half irritated.

“This is John Lee.” There was long pause.  “Is this Jiyong?”

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know that it’s you director.” Jiyong laughed, acting innocent. “I just woke up and I think I’m still asleep.”

“How are you Jiyong?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “You and Seunghyun left in a hurry last night; I didn’t get a chance to say thank you properly.” John didn’t wait for his response. “Is Seunghyun there?”

“Yeah, he’s sleeping like a baby next to me.” Jiyong answered casually. He was annoyed at how persistent the old man can be. He thought he made it clear last night that Seunghyun cannot be touched. What was he doing calling Seunghyun again? What does he want? Did he really want to go against Jiyong?

It seems like John was stupefied with his answer that he couldn’t respond quickly.

“Is it important?” Jiyong spoke in a slight mocking manner. “Should I wake him up?”

“Oh no.” John answered. “I was just going to set a meeting with him over dinner. I wanted to ask if he’s available tonight.”

“Yeah he’s free - he’s got nothing on his schedule past seven.” Jiyong answered. “I’ll make sure he gets your message.”

“T-Thanks.” There was a hint of worry in John’s voice. Before he could say his goodbye, Jiyong spoke again.

“Hey, if you’re meeting over dinner, I know a good place.  I’m friends with the owner and I’ll tell him to reserve a table for two. I’ll text you the address.”

“S-Sure.”

“Okay then, bye.” Jiyong hangs up quickly. He sends him a message of the restaurant’s address. Afterwards, he placed the phone back in the pocket of Seunghyun’s pants.

“Who were you talking to?”

Jiyong looks back to the bed and sees Seunghyun blinking himself awake.

Jiyong smiled to him.  

“No one.”

-=oOo=-

Jiyong hands his keys to the valet. He looks past the glass walls. He made sure that the table that was reserved was in the middle of the restaurant. If you would ask him, he actually preferred the more private, corner tables but tonight he was willing to make an exception. If someone were to spy on people, one must have the best view from the outside.

Jiyong spots John easily. He has been waiting for fifteen minutes now and Jiyong could see he was still relaxed despite Seunghyun being late. Seunghyun was notorious for that.

Jiyong had doubts about John inviting Seunghyun to a business meeting over dinner. He thinks it’s bull. For a director, he seems to have poor imagination. If it was Jiyong, he’d have a more creative excuse.

That is how Jiyong got the idea of spying on John and Seunghyun on this so-called “business meeting.”

Jiyong smiled as he saw John look at his watch. Before John could reach for his phone and call Seunghyun, Jiyong was already entering the restaurant.

He had planned to spy on them from the outside.

However, Jiyong was more creative than that.

TBC