Jiyong looked to the passenger seat, unable to focus on the road ahead of him. Seunghyun had kept a hand to his face. Jiyong could tell he was trying to hide his eyes that had gone soft and red. The man breathed long and deep, soft sighs always finding its way in his lips that frowned.

Jiyong drove all over the city, no particular destination in mind. He thinks a long drive would be the best to calm Seunghyun down. Whenever they would stop by a red light, Jiyong puts his hands on the wheel, lays down his head on them and gazes at Seunghyun as he slowly collected himself.

“Seunghyun…” Jiyong would call to him softly and reach out his hand. The man would cringe at the touch. Seunghyun was not ready yet. Jiyong circles back and drives along the long avenue again.

After a while, Seunghyun puts his hand down and gazes at the window. He seemed to be mesmerized by the yellow street lights. Jiyong turned his head in surprise when Seunghyun suddenly spoke.

“When did we become like this?” Seunghyun asked the moon outside, his voice full of melancholy.

Jiyong didn’t answer but instead focused on the road ahead. He thinks hard. When exactly did they become like this?

He remembers the first time they met, the hardships they shared during their trainee days, the difficulties, successes, celebrations at work. They were friends – the closest kind, almost brothers.

Almost lovers.

“Why are we so angry?” Seunghyun continued. “Where does all this…hate…come from?” He almost choked on his words. “We used to be…happy.” He spoke in a hushed voice, his voice almost disappearing. “What changed between us?”

Jiyong pulled over suddenly. Jiyong looks to his right and sees Seunghyun’s sorrowful eyes gaze blankly outside. Headlights of speeding cars in front illuminated Seunghyun’s expressionless face. Tears were streaming down.

“Shush…” Jiyong unfastens his seat belt and scoots over to Seunghyun’s side. He buries his face in Seunghyun’s neck and plants butterfly kisses in an effort to comfort him. He uses his thumbs to wipe his tears away, brushing his lips to his cheeks as he knew it would make Seunghyun feel better.

Jiyong admitted to himself. This was his fault. All of this fighting, hate, and anger were his monstrous creations. He was the mastermind, the orchestrator. He twisted the facts. He manipulated Seunghyun’s emotions. He trampled with his heart all for the sake of waking Seunghyun up from his dream of a perfect life.

But Seunghyun had it coming.

Seunghyun brought this upon himself. He brought this upon himself that night when he pushed Jiyong on that hard wall, holding his arms firmly at his side, pinning him to the cold concrete with his rough lips.

Yes, Seunghyun brought this upon himself.

Jiyong was now running his hands on Seunghyun’s hair, lips ghosting over the other’s man’s lips. He closed his eyes, lashes Seunghyun’s skin. “It’s okay now,” he whispered into them.

“…I forgive you.”

Jiyong was taken aback as he was roughly pushed back to the driver’s seat. His eyes had gone wide, unable to hide his surprise that Seunghyun had pushed him aside.

“No, Jiyong. Not this time.”

 Seunghyun was angry now. Jiyong felt a chill run down his spine as Seunghyun’s sharp eyes stared him down.

“I REFUSE TO BE TREATED THIS WAY!” Seunghyun shouted, pounding his fist on the dashboard. The wrathful sound shook Jiyong’s insides. “I have done NOTHING to deserve this kind of treatment!”

“DON’T YOU--?”

“I KNOW you’re tired and pressured at work!” Seunghyun didn’t let him speak but instead continued to shout. “I have been PATIENT and UNDERSTANDING through ALL YOUR but I REFUSE TO BE BLAMED FOR SOMETHING I DIDN’T DO!”

“DO YOU DENY IT THEN???!!!” Jiyong shouted back. “YOU HURT--”

“LISTEN TO US!” Seunghyun hit the back of his chair with the side of his hand, shouting louder than Jiyong to drown out his voice. “We ING sound like a broken record! It’s always the same thing, OVER AND OVER! AGAIN AND AGAIN!”

Jiyong flinched when Seunghyun’s fist tightened. The man looked so mad at that moment. Because Seunghyun couldn’t hit Jiyong, he just angrily punched at his own knee.

“This is what you wanted, ISN’T IT?” Seunghyun tilted his head when he asked. “DO YOU REALLY WANT US TO BREAK APART?” Seunghyun’s voice was so loud and furious that they were sure to be heard from the outside. “DON’T YOU???”

Jiyong looked back at him with an ireful stare. He didn’t answer.

“If you won’t talk to me... FINE.” Seunghyun opened the door and stepped outside. “Go home, get some sleep and for the love of god, eat something. You’ve become so thin.” He spoke in a mocking tone of instruction, as if he thought Jiyong was not in his proper mind at that moment to respond in a civil manner.

As Jiyong watched him walk away from inside the car, thoughts raced his mind. He needed to decide what to do. Should he concede? He could let Seunghyun walk away, drive back home and call it a night. He had little energy and there was nothing left to discuss.

But then again, he couldn’t let Seunghyun have the last word.

He opened his own door and stood on the street. “SO YOU’RE WALKING AWAY FROM ME NOW?” Jiyong shouted at Seunghyun’s back. “YOU’RE LEAVING ME HERE?”

When Seunghyun didn’t answer and continued walking Jiyong sighed, making sure Seunghyun could hear it. “I knew it.”

It made Seunghyun stop.

“I knew you would leave me.” Jiyong didn’t shout now but instead spoke in a low tone. “After everything you’ve done. After everything you put me through. After all those promises…” Conviction was in his voice. “I KNEW you’d leave me.”

Seunghyun turned around to look at him. He had a raised eyebrow that seemed to challenge his accusation.

“All those times you said you loved me.” Jiyong hold back. “LIES.” He said with calm emphasis. “ALL LIES.”

“Stop it Jiyong.” Seunghyun told him simply. “You know that’s not true.”

“If you walk away from me now...” Jiyong threatened him. He paused because Seunghyun was walking towards him with a look of rather harmful intent.

“Let me tell you something, Ji.” Seunghyun said as he walked back. “I LOVE YOU AND I’M STICKING WITH YOU.”

Seunghyun’s reply had rendered Jiyong speechless.

“IF WE HAVE TO FIGHT THIS OUT, FINE!” Seunghyun shouted now. “IF I NEED TO ING SCREAM AT YOU EVERYDAY AND TAKE THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, I WILL!”

Jiyong didn’t expect for this to happen. He didn’t plan this. This wasn’t in the equation.

“I DON’T ING CARE IF WE NEED TO FIGHT THIS OUT UNTIL WE DIE. I AM NOT GIVING YOU UP AND I WILL NOT LET YOU GO!”

Maybe because Seunghyun’s voice was so loud in his own ears that he couldn’t hear the screeching of tires from the car speeding towards him. He couldn’t hear the horn honking.

He couldn’t hear Jiyong’s warning.