“Are you CRAZY???” Jiyong’s voice rang in his ears.

Seunghyun stands on the roadside, Jiyong’s arms pinning him in one place. Jiyong had suddenly ran out to him and pulled him into an embrace.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

Seunghyun just stood there dazed. When he recovered, only then did Seunghyun notice the loud honking of the car that sped past them. Jiyong had grabbed him out of harm’s way.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!”

Seunghyun’s blood drained from his face. He just thought about what could have happened if Jiyong hadn’t grabbed him. Traumatized, he could only watch as words carelessly stumble out of Jiyong mouth. Jiyong pulled away from him and was going ballistic.

“DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DIE SO BAD???”

Jiyong was shouting his head off. He throws his head back, shakes it, winces and sighs loudly. He puts both hands to his face before placing them on his waist. He looked like he was going to crumble into tears, or explode, or both.

“DO YOU REALLY WANT TO MAKE ME LIKE THIS???”

Seunghyun thought Jiyong had every right to be angry this time. He wanted to thank him for saving him but he still couldn’t forget his anger from before. He dismissed Jiyong’s concern for his life and just shook his head.

“I can’t deal with you right now Ji.” Seunghyun resigned, turning his back from him again and started walking away. “Go home.”

“SHUT UP AND GET IN THE CAR!” Jiyong shouted back, making him stop and look back. “FOR GOD’S SAKE ARE YOU GOING TO WALK HOME IN THIS HOUR?! DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE ME GO INSANE?”

Seunghyun took his time to study Jiyong’s face. Unlike the other times when he was angry, Jiyong wasn’t overreacting. Unlike before, Jiyong wasn’t looking for fight. Jiyong was begging him to take him home. He was sincerely concerned about his safety.

Seunghyun was touched.

But he’d never let Jiyong see that.

Seunghyun went back inside the car. He really didn’t want to walk home and it seems Jiyong would stop fighting him now. Without a single word or glance exchanged, they drove to Seunghyun’s villa. Seunghyun got off immediately as soon as the car stopped. Without looking back, he went inside and slammed the door shut.

He quickly went to his bedroom on the upper floors. Without opening the lights, he pushes the curtains aside and looked out the window. He sees Jiyong’s car making his way around and stopping right in front of it. The car’s windows rolled down as Jiyong lighted a cigarette. Even from this distance, Seunghyun could see how red Jiyong’s eyes were and how the tears stained his cheeks. Seunghyun watches as Jiyong’s hands grabbed at his own hair, trying to fight the tears.

Seunghyun scrunches up the curtains in his hands. Why were they doing this to themselves? Why do they need to fight? It was obvious that Jiyong cared for him despite all of his senseless accusations. The man ran in front of a speeding car for him for crying out loud.

And he loved Jiyong. He doesn’t want to shout at him. He doesn’t want to be angry at him. He doesn’t want to hurt him. But why do they end up still fighting?

Because he did hurt him.

He had done something unforgivable.

It was a long time ago and he didn’t remember most of it. He hated himself for having done that to his friend. He apologized and Jiyong says he was forgiven.

However, words could be deceiving.

Seunghyun looks out and sees Jiyong light another cigarette. Seunghyun steps away from the curtains as Jiyong looked up the window. When Seunghyun opened the lights, Jiyong rolls up the windows to his car and drives away.

-=oOo=-

“Let’s take five everyone.”

Seunghyun heaves a sigh and the coordinators came rushing to him. They fixed his make-up and hair while the technical staff fussed over the wires connected to his costume. He had spent all day filming fight scenes for a new movie. They only had one last scene to finish before the night ends.

He asks for his phone. He checks his call register and inbox. Jiyong hasn’t called him all day; he hasn’t sent a text either. They were both busy people so he knew that Jiyong mustn’t have had free time. Whenever they fought, it was always Seunghyun who did the reaching out, no matter who was at fault in the first place. But this time, he wanted to teach Jiyong a lesson. He wanted an apology - a proper one. Since they were both stubborn men, he figures it would take days, maybe weeks, before Jiyong confronts him.

He sighs.

While waiting for the props to be placed on the set, the director hands him a bottle of water and they discussed the next scene.

“You’re doing great. This is the last one.” John patted his back after giving him instructions. He frowns at him. “You’re looking a bit down? Did something happen?”

John was a very close friend. Often, he could tell him his biggest worries and the older man gave him useful advice. He hasn’t talked to him so much nowadays and John noticed. Being a friend, he had sensed the change in Seunghyun and had kept inviting him to dinner to talk.

But Seunghyun wouldn’t tell him anything.

Seunghyun just shook his head. “Nothing.” In his head he wanted to smile to show some assurance. He didn’t know if it showed in his face.

“Omo, omo!” The ladies in the set began to giggle. “G-Dragon is here!”

Seunghyun turns around and sees none other than Jiyong himself, stepping inside the set, bowing low and shaking hands as he entered.

Seunghyun was surprised. He didn’t know Jiyong was coming today; Jiyong didn’t tell him. Only when their eyes met did Seunghyun realize how John’s hand was still on his shoulders. The others couldn’t see, but even if it was for a split second, Seunghyun noticed Jiyong throwing daggers across the room. It was unbelievable how no one but him could see the hates waves emanating from the man.

“Am I disturbing your set?” Jiyong walks up to John and gives him the brightest of smiles. He gives him a pound hug and points to the entrance. “I bought dinner.” Assistants were bringing in an assortment of food boxes, pastries and fruits for the whole crew.

Jiyong was playful as he greeted the staff who clapped for him. There were cameras flashing all around and Seunghyun thought this would make the headlines tomorrow.

Seunghyun couldn’t hide his surprise as Jiyong flashed the smile to him. He couldn’t help but picture Jiyong’s angry face from last night. He looked so different now. So normal.

It was a shock when Jiyong gave him a hug too.

“Y-You didn’t tell me you were coming.” Seunghyun lowered his voice as they talked.

“It’s a surprise.” Jiyong answered, directing his smile to John who was beside them. “Can I stay and watch?” While talking to John, Jiyong opened a bottle of Seunghyun’s favorite cola and handed it to Seunghyun. Jiyong grabbed the bottle of water from Seunghyun and gave it to an assistant, softly telling her to “get rid of this.”

John smiled back. “You missed the good parts.”

“That’s too bad.”

Jiyong stood beside Seunghyun as he and John talked. He was telling him that he came from a recording before coming here. Jiyong put a hand on Seunghyun’s shoulder, as John had done before. However, Jiyong’s fingers were carelessly the skin behind Seunghyun’s ears.

Seunghyun could tell John noticed.

“We’re almost done. Just one scene left.” John signaled everyone to get back into set.

“Use this.” Jiyong whispered to Seunghyun’s stylist as he handed her his handkerchief; she had just ran out of tissues to wipe Seunghyun’s face.

“Really. We can leave early then.” Jiyong turned his attention back to John.

“You’re not joining us?” John asked with a frown. “You bought such a luxurious dinner.”

“We have plans.” Jiyong answered, fingers now tapping Seunghyun’s neck. It was innocent enough but Seunghyun thinks John had noticed it too. “Can we talk for a minute?” Jiyong didn’t wait for John to answer but instead led Seunghyun away.

Not too far away though. Jiyong still needed for John to see this.

“What are you doing here Ji?” Seunghyun asked. There were lots of people around so he can’t shout or appear irritated.

“I’m here to support your new movie of course.” Jiyong told him while fixing his suit.

“Did Yang-sajangnim sent you?”

“How rude!” Jiyong playfully shouted at him. “I came here on my own.” Jiyong gave him a warm smile.

Seunghyun was confused. Last night, they were at each other’s throats. Now, Jiyong was visiting him on set, laughing and smiling at him. What is going on?

People started approaching them and Jiyong was very accommodating. He was signing a few autographs for the children of the staff. He even posed with them for pictures, the bright smile never leaving those lips.

For a moment Seunghyun was proud. He was proud because he had a boyfriend that was admired by many people. For a moment, it was picture perfect. Think about it. Nothing could be sweeter than for your lover to show up at work and bring you food. Jiyong was showing his support, like lovers they were supposed to.

But then Seunghyun saw Jiyong’s eyes look past him. Seunghyun looks back and sees John was observing them from afar.

So that was what Jiyong came here for. He was marking territory.

“I can’t believe you.” Seunghyun puts his face close to Jiyong’s ear and whispers. “I’m working right now and you’re here to check up on me?” he said as calmly as he could. “Am I that untrustworthy to you?”

“I was worried about you last night…” Jiyong looked up at him with sorry eyes. “I couldn’t sleep…”

“Do you think I find this flattering?” Seunghyun tried to contain his anger. “I can’t believe you’d stoop so low.”

“I’m worried about you.” Jiyong repeated, avoiding his question. He had those sad, sorry eyes whenever he tried to comfort him after being shouted at. Seunghyun had seen Jiyong do this so many times, too many times, to know whether he was sincere or if he was just playing with him. Jiyong would always say “I’m sorry” or “I love you” to calm him down. Once he gave in, Jiyong would get mad. He’s not going to fall into that trap again.

“Really Jiyong? Do you really want to make a scene here?” Seunghyun grabbed Jiyong’s shoulders as he whispered to his ears. “Do you have to drag my work into this mess? Isn’t this going too far?”

“I was so worried I didn’t know what to do…” Jiyong tells him softly, those sad eyes looking up at him. It would have had some effect on other people, but not Seunghyun. He thinks pity never did suit Jiyong.

Seunghyun lets him go as he was called into the scene. Jiyong’s presence was distracting him and Seunghyun tried to focus on his lines. Whenever he has the chance, he glances to the corner where Jiyong was. Jiyong was just silently watching.

“Good job everyone!”

The director signals for the cameras to stop rolling. Seunghyun shook a few hands and bowed to a few people before going back to Jiyong’s corner. He finds Jiyong smiling and clapping for him.

“That was awesome!” he greeted loudly. “You were so handsome!” Jiyong didn’t hold back.

Once again, fellow actors went up to them to chat and take photos. Seunghyun was surprised at how pleasant Jiyong has been. He had only seen his angry face for a few days now and he misses his gleeful nature.

“It’s dinner time and I’d like to thank Jiyong for this spectacular food.” John tells them as the food boxes were opened and served.

There were cheers all around and Jiyong bowed and waved his hands in return. “For the movie’s success!” he shouted back.

“We should get going.” Seunghyun whispers to Jiyong’s ears once again. He’d like a private word with him as soon as possible. He had to get Jiyong out of there before he makes a mess of things. He’d also like to get himself out before he loses his temper.

“Why don’t you stay for a bit?” John walks over to them. “It feels wrong to just eat this without you guys.”

Jiyong would have said no if not for the director’s hand on Seunghyun’s lower back.

“I guess one bite wouldn’t hurt.”

-=oOo=-

It would have been sweet, if not for the look of satisfaction Jiyong had whenever John looked at them.

Jiyong moved his chair close beside him at the table. Close enough for Jiyong to rest a hand on the back of his chair. Jiyong didn’t remove his arm and just sat there casually as they talked.

“Here, let me.” Jiyong grabbed the packed lunchbox from Seunghyun and opened it for him. Seunghyun couldn’t protest as Jiyong picked out all the little things he didn’t want to eat.

The others in the table quickly noticed and began showering praises for him. “You’re such a good friend!” “I didn’t know you were this close!” “He’s always such a sweet boy.” “Your future wife must be so lucky.”

Jiyong just laughs it off, saying he remembered Seunghyun didn’t like this stuff. Seunghyun was worried whenever Jiyong opened his mouth but the conversation in their table was pretty normal and pleasant. Pretty much everyone had warmed up to Jiyong at this point.

It was Jiyong’s actions that were causing more worry.

Jiyong was usually snobbish at events like these, preferring to unleash his playful side only to those close to him. He usually had the spotlight wherever he went but Jiyong didn’t draw attention to himself.

Tonight was different.

When John looked at Seunghyun, Jiyong innocently dabbed a napkin in his lips, telling Seunghyun to slow down eating because he was making a mess. He then would laugh and tell everyone a funny memory.

“Try this. It’s really good.” Jiyong used a finger to touch the skin below Seunghyun’s chin to get his attention. It was a harmless caress but Seunghyun couldn’t help think that Jiyong was doing this because of an audience.

Jiyong then grabbed a strawberry from the plate, dipped it whipped cream and hand fed it to Seunghyun.

People at their table laughed as Jiyong pointed at Seunghyun and the whipped cream in his lips. Jiyong was now telling them another funny story.  

“Hyung can I have that?” Jiyong pointed to the strawberry Seunghyun was holding. He then held Seunghyun’s hands innocuously and brought them close to his face. He made sure John was looking when he took the red fruit in his mouth, his lips grazing on Seunghyun’s fingers as he did so.

“Don’t get mad hyung!” Jiyong playfully shouts after. “I thought that was the last one!” he laughed as another bowl of strawberries was being served. While everyone was laughing, he shot a look at John from across the table and his lips.

“Ow, hot!” Jiyong flicks his wrists when he touched the teapot. A ring slips through his fingers and it rolls in John’s direction. It falls off the table.

When John bent down to fetch it, Seunghyun could feel something brushing his legs. It seems that Jiyong had taken off his shoes and now his feet were sliding up and down his legs.

Seunghyun tried to keep a straight face when John emerged from the table with a slight blush. He must have seen Jiyong’s performance.

Jiyong apologized and thanked the director when he gave him back his ring. It was after that when Seunghyun felt that John had become uncomfortable.

“Can we talk?” Seunghyun leaned in and whispered in Jiyong’s ear. He could see Jiyong’s triumphant smile at John’s curious stare.

“Of course.” Jiyong stood up from his chair and walked away from their table. Seunghyun did the same and he led Jiyong into his dressing room. Once they were inside, Seunghyun locked the door and began to shout.

“What are you trying to do?!” Seunghyun raised his voice, glaring at Jiyong who was now looking uninterested. “What are you trying to pull?! I already told you that there’s nothing going on between me and John! Must we go over this AGAIN?!”

“Oh no. I’m not worried about him anymore.” Jiyong shook his head. “He knows you’re forbidden fruit now.”

“GOD JIYONG! Listen to yourself! What is wrong with you?” Seunghyun put his hands to his face in frustration. “I thought I knew you!” Seunghyun shouted at him. “You KNOW BETTER than to drag personal stuff into work!”

“Why do you look at me like that? Do you think I LIKE what I’m feeling right now?” Jiyong’s voice was rising this time. “Do you think I like being INSECURE? Do you think I like feeling NEGLECTED? Do you think I like being vulnerable, lonely and unhappy? TELL ME!”

“But you didn’t have to do THIS!” Seunghyun flails his arms to get his message across. “You know what I FELT when I sat there?” He angrily pointed at the door. “I felt EMBARASSED. I felt HUMILIATED FOR YOU!”

“IF YOU’RE ASHAMED OF ME THEN SAY IT!” Jiyong shouted back this time. “I DON’T ING CARE IF I LOOKED LIKE A WHINING ! I COULDN’T CARE LESS WHAT THEY THINK OF ME!” Jiyong pointed to his chest. “Is that all you care about? Is what they think of you more important? MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME?”

Seunghyun grabs his own hair with both hands. They were shouting again. They were fighting again.

“Why is everything ABOUT you?” Seunghyun points at Jiyong . “You’re NOT the center of the universe Jiyong. The world doesn’t revolve around YOU!” Seunghyun’s face had gone red in anger. “Can’t you not think of YOURSELF for once?!” Seunghyun closed his eyes after saying this. He had thought about this even from before but refused to say it. He couldn’t help himself but say it now.

“You’re telling me, I’M selfish?! Do you know WHY I do this?!” Jiyong erupts. “Don’t you know that YOU’RE the center of MY universe??!” Jiyong advances at Seunghyun and he pushes a shoulder with a hand. He grabs on Seunghyun’s shirt angrily. “I DO THIS FOR YOU! IN EVERYTHING I DO, I THINK ABOUT YOU! EVERY ING DECISION I MAKE, I THINK ABOUT YOU!!!”

Seunghyun didn’t answer back. He didn’t brush away Jiyong’s hands either.

“CAN’T YOU SEE???” Jiyong was so angry that his eyes had gone red. “WHY IS IT SO HARD TO SEE THAT I’M DOING THIS FOR YOU??? WHY WOULD I WASTE MY FREAKING MONEY AND MY PRECIOUS TIME DRIVING HERE, BUYING FOOD FOR PEOPLE I DON’T KNOW, PUTTING ON A SHOW AND FOR WHAT???”

Seunghyun was going to answer back but Jiyong kept on shouting.

“JUST SO I COULD LOOK LIKE A FOOL???” Jiyong let him go roughly. “CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M DOING THIS FOR YOU??? TO PROTECT YOU??? IT’S ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT YOU!!!” Jiyong wiped his eyes as angry tears streamed down. “YOU! YOU! YOU! I DON’T ING CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE! BECAUSE IT’S YOU! YOU’RE IMPORTANT TO ME!!!”

Seunghyun could only stare as Jiyong tried to catch his breath. Somewhere in those lines Seunghyun could find that Jiyong did somehow care - no matter how twisted his logic was, no matter how questionable his methods were. But his actions cannot be tolerated, not matter how justified he thinks he is.

“Are you doing this FOR ME?” Seunghyun asked as calmly as he could. “I didn’t ask you to make A FOOL OF YOURSELF! I wanted NONE of this! You say you’re doing this for me but I don’t WANT THIS!” It was his turn to shout. “I DON’T WANT IT THIS WAY! WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS???”

“YOU THINK I WANT TO BE ANGRY AT YOU?” Jiyong looks at him, his eyes challenging and defiant.

“I DO!  THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I THINK?” Seunghyun shouts answering back. “WHY JI? WHY DO YOU WANT US TO BE MISERABLE? WHY DO YOU WANT TO MAKE ME SO ANGRY???”

“Because it turns me on.”

Jiyong’s lips were already crashing against his before Seunghyun could process his answer.

TBC