“Hobabyyy!”

“!” I mentally cursed when I felt Sungyeol jumping onto my bed way too early in the morning for my liking. I groaned and turned over, letting him poke the back of my head. I felt as if I had barely slept; which could well be the case since I couldn’t fall asleep with my mind heavy with everything that had happened the day before.

Sunggyu. Junhong. Dongwoo - I gritted my teeth in annoyance just remembering the cocky stare he had dared to give me yesterday. I tried to focus on all the things I could to decorate his dino head; maybe remodel a bone or two in the skull.

If I ever see his face again when we’re alone, he won’t recognize his own reflection in the mirror after I'm done with him.

But I did my best to shrug it off for the moment and opened my eyes reluctantly; once Sungyeol started his annoying antics, no could sleep. Sitting up and yawning, I realized it wasn’t my bed Sungyeol was jumping on a minute ago - it was Sungjong’s. I had been sleeping in Sungjong’s bed but Sungjong wasn’t here anymore.

I immediately searched the room, now completely awoken.

“He went to the prefects' meeting already; stop turning your head like that or it’ll fall off,” Sungyeol said while crossing his legs on Sungjong’s crumpled blanket, laughing at his own joke. “Anyway, what were you doing in his bed? Stop stalking the child already.” He laughed, but I could tell he was restraining his pout.

After all it was common knowledge that a sentence with skinship always had Sungyeol in it too. Junhong and Sungjong were his two favorite targets, and I filled in fine enough when the two weren’t around.

“He couldn’t fall asleep. I tried to hug him to dreamland, but since the sound of your loud snores would only give him nightmares, I had to lull him to sleep,” I said teasingly before jumping off the bed at the speed of light to avoid his groping claws. Sometimes his skinship was not only choking, but painful too – especially if he was mad.

After a few yells, laughs and chasing around the room, we fell back into a comfortable silence as we started getting ready. As I was about to pick up the pants of my uniform from the ground, I remembered it was actually mourning day. Sunggyu’s mourning. My pants fell lifelessly back on the ground as I tried to keep myself standing under the sick coldness spreading in my chest and my suddenly wobbling legs. I took deep breaths, pressing my forehead on the hard wooden door of my wardrobe.

Would he ever forgive us?

I started hyperventilating a bit and I clenched my fists in an attempt to calm down. I felt a pair of long thin arms wrap around my chest and soon after Sungyeol’s quiet voice spoke in my ear in a deep, soothing tone.

“He would. He is - well was - more mature than we ever were towards him. He wouldn’t hold grudges against us for our possessiveness towards Sungjongie. He knew how we are all over him, Hoya,” he whispered.

Did I ask that out loud?

I tried to let his words sink in, to let them penetrate my mind and blur my remorse, but I managed poorly. I couldn’t stop the guilt building up in my chest. Now that I couldn’t immediately focus on Sungjong and erase the sorrow from his eyes, it was all coming back to me with full force. I was such an idiot.

“But we never told him. He may have known, but hearing it out loud is-”

“Just breathe,” Sungyeol cut me off while turning me around to make me face him.

He started massaging the sides of my face, trying to loosen my clenched jaws.

“Words can be used to tell lies, and sometimes they just are empty syllables put together without any deeper sense. It’s all about feelings. These are true and impossible to taint, and words are not always needed to express them. Sunggyu hyung knew us, he didn’t need us to tell him. Trust me Hoya, Sunggyu hyung did love us anyway, and he knew we loved him back. He wouldn’t even need to forgive us; I’m sure he was never even mad at us…even if we were complete s, buddy,” he added with a small half-smile.

It was astonishing to hear Sungyeol say those words because usually, he didn’t have enough tact or sense. But I was glad that Sungyeol grew up to the situation. I felt a breath finally make its way out of my lungs and I just let my head fall on Sungyeol’s shoulder, enjoying the huge comfort provided by the mere touch and my heart got calmer, slowly. He hugged me briefly before murmuring something about “Being late to the ceremony if we keep acting this gay.”

I couldn’t help the chuckle that left my lips and when we stepped out of our room, dressed fully in black, I wasn’t feeling horrible anymore.

We were on our way to the Principal’s office to wait for Sungjong before going to the main hall. Along the way, we picked up Junhong and I ruffled his hair as a good morning. We struck up a casual conversation, none of us tactfully mentioning Sunggyu and the mourning; but it was spoiled by some uninvited guests.

“Oh geez, I nearly died from seeing your ugly face in the morning, choding. How mean of you!” Woohyun snickered as he came out of his own room, looking as arrogant as always. We stopped dead in our tracks, shooting him venomous looks. Also, my hands started to itch with the intense desire to punch him – he had that quality to produce that sort of feeling in people. I wondered how his friends could resist using him as a punching bag. That cocky smile on his face was enough to get me started.

Too many guts and a mouth way too loud.

I didn’t know why out of all of us he hated Sungyeol so strongly, but I knew from experience that Sungyeol can deal with him. So I just clenched my fists and listened, fighting the urge to shove my knuckles down his throat. It wasn't really the day for useless fighting.

“ off, bunny. We actually have real friends, and we want to pay homage to one of them. Oh but…I’m sorry, did I by any chance just talk about something too complicated for you? I forgot that friendship and respect aren’t notions that you may be familiar with, after all that tiny little brain of yours…and it keeps evaporating through your ears everyday…” Sungyeol’s voice was taunting but at the same time, he was annoyed.

Instead of frowning, Woohyun’s lips turned up into a wicked smile as he approached Sungyeol.

“Yah, Lee Sungyeol, if that dead guy is so important to you, I thought you may at least for once in your life try to look normal. I know looking good isn’t one of your abilities, but seriously - those god-awful earrings on your hyungie’s mourning day?” He scoffed. “Wow, your fashion sense is worse than Heechul’s, I’m speechless. And you have equally idiotic friends I see.”

Sungyeol’s brow twitched and he was about to snap at Woohyun when Junhong purposely stepped on Woohyun’s shoe, while pushing him from behind, making him stumble.

“Woops, sorry man,” Junhong stated calmly, not even looking at Woohyun and guiding an elated-looking Sungyeol down the hall, who turned his head excitedly to watch Woohyun’s red, furious face.

“Yah! You maggot, what do you think you did? You’re playing fierce when your friends are around, but when Daehyun gets to you, you-”

“Nam Woohyun,” interrupted a frigid voice, and we all turned around to stare at the other end of the corridor.

I was relieved to see Sungjong walking toward us. He looked pale, especially in his black outfit, but he looked more composed than yesterday. His eyes lit up when he saw us, and I gave him a reassuring smile in return.

He doesn't look as bad as I thought he would.

It wasn’t him who had spoken though. He was flanked by Sanghyun and our second-year prefect, Seungho, who was casting a disapproving look on our whole group.

Following the three prefects was another taller figure, who had spoken.

Himchan hyung?

He was strutting behind them proudly, and as his eyes fell on Woohyun, a grimace plagued his beautiful face. He was well-known amongst the second-years for being proud, possessive and loud, yet very strict and protective too.

I don’t remember ever talking to him, but I’d seen him cooing at Junhong’s cuteness and treating him to sweets; seconds after, he’d yell at a random student while still hugging a frightened Junhong.

Bipolar much?

Woohyun gave Himchan a dirty look. “What do you want, Diva hyung?”

I had to admire his bravery. Himchan was one of the most feared hyungs and at the moment, he wore an expression that even caused my heart to flutter slightly. I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of him, definitely not try to talk back at him.

“Don’t give me that cocky stare, you . I’m the new prefect, which means I can get you into serious trouble if you ever again do something out of place.”

His voice trebled with pride and power and all gazed at him, awed. Himchan as the new prefect seemed like an odd choice, especially since he was replacing Sunggyu hyung. He was the perfect opposite of Sunggyu hyung and even though his intimidating aura would actually help his job, I realized I’d miss Sunggyu hyung’s warm smile while he went about his prefect duties.

Woohyun however seemed untroubled by the information.

“You mean look at your boyfriend? I was glancing at his homework the last time, smartass, not his face.” Woohyun answered while rolling his eyes. “And besides, you can’t do much to me, remember? No capital punishment, no expulsion – and detentions are potential sleeping times.”

Himchan’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Maybe not by the school rules. However, my dad happens to know yours, remember? I heard he’s back from the USA.”

I had to hold back my sudden crazy laughter. Even if the school couldn’t get Woohyun in trouble, it was common knowledge that Mr. Nam was very stern. The one time we had seen him at school while collecting Woohyun’s report card, he gave out the aura of a strict father who’d do anything to keep his son in line. No doubt he would personally end Woohyun’s life if he got to know how much his son had tarnished his name in such a prestigious school as Endless High.

Nice move, Himchan hyung.

I may start to like the guy.

“Get to the assembly, all of you. That is certainly not the day for you to argue,” Seungho jumped in.

Sungjong smiling politely, excusing himself from the group to join ours.

The cocky air of Woohyun had vanished. He started to lean towards Sungyeol, then thought better of it and turned immediately on his heels before I could even send him a death glare. Once he had disappeared, Sungyeol hugged the living daylights out of Junhong, grinning like the fool he was.

“Aigoo, our baby is growing! I’m quite surprised you managed to stand up for me - what happened? Usually you shiver behind Hoya’s back!”

Junhong just shrugged it off while blushing, but I was wondering about this too. He usually was shy and easy to break.

What is getting into him lately?

I snapped out of my thoughts when I felt Sungjong lean his chin on my shoulder from behind. We stayed like this a little while, watching Seungho explaining to Himchan that being a prefect was about making people respect the school’s law, not punishing them for staring at one’s boyfriend or whatever.

“Will you be okay, Jongie?” I murmured, trying my best not to move. I liked him there. Within my arm’s reach.

“I’ll have to,” he whispered back and smiled lightly, but it never reached his eyes and I could just stare at him in silence as he fisted the back of my shirt.

I ruffled his hair quickly with one hand before stepping forward, grabbing Junhong and Sungyeol in a firm grasp and pulling them towards the hall. They kept on bickering about nothings and I would have rolled my eyes if it didn’t sound a little…forced. They were joyful by nature, but the gloomy atmosphere got the better of them as we neared the Grand Hall.

When we arrived, we took seats at the far back. I looked around and when I spotted a pair of dark eyes staring at our direction, a small detail from last night flashed in my mind.

What the hell were you doing in the rose garden at night?

Yesterday, as I went over to Sungjong’s bed, I had spotted two guys from the window, walking amongst the roses. And when my eyes had locked with him, I couldn’t help the uneasiness in my chest. But he averted my gaze quickly and took the other guy by the elbow, leading him back inside the building. Saying that I was surprised was an understatement. It was, after all, the crime scene and with the increased security in school, it was dangerous to go prowling anywhere at night.

I don’t really know what to think about it. I mean, I shouldn’t really feel bothered since no one knows Sunggyu hyung died surrounded by the roses. No one. It must be just a coincidence.

But catching his gaze again, in the crowded hallway, made the uneasy feeling come back again.

Thankfully, the Principal got to his feet and the hall fell silent. I turned my head to the front.

I didn’t concentrate much on the ceremony; most of it was superficial anyways. The teachers spoke about Sunggyu and how he had been a true genius and how he was a great loss. Sungjong’s hand pressed mine a little too hard a couple of times but I kept my mouth shut and rubbed my thumb gently over the back of his hand. His friends, Yongguk and Dongwoo, also tried to say something but they both broke into tears. Finally, Seungho hyung spoke on behalf of the second year students while Sanghyun did it for the first year. We all observed a minute of silence in Sunggyu hyung’s memory – that was all we had left of him – memories.

And just like that, in the blink of an eye, a few hours had passed and I came back to myself sitting on my bed. I didn’t even remember getting back here.

Sungjong was lying behind me, catching up on some sleep with his head on Junhong’s lap. And since all the space on my bed was taken, we had a grumbling Sungyeol on his bed.

“What do you think of Himchan being a prefect?” I randomly asked.

“He’ll use it to make a fuss over tiny things,” Sungyeol smirked. “But he really is fastidious with rules. And he hates noises almost as much as old Jaejoong does so I guess I don’t mind.”

“Idiot, it means you can tease Woohyun and the others,” fumed Junhong. “He might punish us too.”

“Ah no worries, tiny kitty, no one would ever do something to you,” Sungyeol cooed back. “Well, that is apart from those jerks but that’s all.”

Junhong grunted in response and started loosening his tie when the door of our room burst open.

An out-of-breath Jongup barged inside with a crazy look in the eyes. It made my stomach turn upside down.

What happened again? Is there something wrong?

Jongup leaned against the door, breathing hard and lips quivering, before slowly letting himself fall on the ground.

Sungyeol immediately jumped up to his friend and started yelling questions repeatedly at him, not even waiting for the answers. Sungjong woke up because of Sungyeol’s shouts and tried to identify what was happening, fighting the sleep.

“Jongup, what the hell!” Sungyeol screamed once again.

“Shush, shut up! Or he’ll find me, and I don’t wanna…” Jongup franticly whispered, a pleading look in the eyes.

“W-What happened?” Junhong stuttered.

I tried to analyze the boy’s face. He looked terrified, even with Sungyeol massaging his shoulders. The both of them were good friends yet Sungyeol couldn't bring him back to a normal state.

And then there were a few yells outside the door and someone banging furiously on the wood.

“Uppie, get out of there right now! Honey, please!”

Jongup looked like a beaten up puppy and all of us couldn’t help but chuckle. I breathed in relief – it wasn’t anything serious after all.

Here goes the drama. What is it this time?

“What is it this time?” Junhong laughed, as if reading my mind.

Jongup just pouted and did his best to block the door as Himchan was trying to force it open. When a creaking sound echoed through the room, Sungyeol threw himself on the ground beside Jongup, back leaning hard against the door.

“Yah! Himchan hyung! That’s our door you’re breaking!”

“Don’t get in my way, Lee Sungyeol!” came the muffled voice of Himchan, oddly distant.

I froze.

Wait, he isn’t about to-

And then quick footsteps were heard followed by a loud bang. The door burst open, Himchan’s shoulder pressed against it as he ran into our room.

The two idiots on the floor went flying, Jongup landing in an awkward position and Sungyeol with his nose buried into the carpeted ground, and I couldn’t help but crack a grin.

Himchan steadied himself before flipping his hair and walking calmly towards Jongup, who just backed away and jumped on my bed right behind me.

“Yah, Jongup, get out of here, don’t include me in your fights,” I screamed while trying to untie his hands from around my neck; which wasn't easy with the strength he used to choke me in his terror.

Sungjong and Junhong started to laugh like maniacs while I tried to save my life, and from the corner of my eyes I even saw Sungyeol taking a picture of us with his cellphone.

You're dead, Sungyeol.

“Very good Hoya. Keep him like this.”

I casted a horrified glance at Himchan, who was slowly approaching, a concentrated look in the eyes. When he jumped on me I gasped and tried to get away but I ended up sandwiched between a mess of sheets and way too many people occupying my bed.

“Get off now, you heavy monkeys!”

“Jonguppie, now come, we’ll dye your hair!”

“I don’t wanna hyung,” Jongup cried in despair and started to kick randomly in the air, hitting me in the process. I couldn’t feel my nose.

After a lot of squabbling and grabbing, I was able to get out of the mess of bodies. I backed away only to have another pair of arms wrap around me. I nearly jumped out of my skin after the trauma I just experienced, but then Sungjong’s smiling lips crashed onto my cheek and made me still instantly.

“Poor Hoya, you had it tough,” he said in a mocking tone.

“Yah, shut up” I grumbled while leaning against him, catching my breath. “Jongup, is it really why you fled to our room? Because of hair dyeing? I almost died just for a cosmetic issue?” I asked with an incredulous stare.

I swear people here are crazy. And one they will get me killed.

“But Howon, he wants me to dye it blonde so that I’ll look like him!” he whined.

“Nope, it’s for people to know that you’re mine and so they can stop staring at your incredible backside!”

I gagged while Jongup kicked harder, blushing madly, and ended up shoving Himchan away.

In all the madness, Sungyeol had picked something up from the ground. He held it up for Jongup to see.

“Your cellphone! Let’s see what you’ve got here,” Sungyeol said victoriously while Junhong hurried to his side and they started to scroll down the menu. I’ve had enough with getting into troubles with toddlers for the day. And Sungjong’s thin arms wrapped loosely around my shoulders were way more appealing than Jongup’s strangling.

“Ooh messages, I want to see the kind of messages Himchan sends you. Last message…”

“Yah give it back here.” Himchan blushed and leaving Jongup breathing hard on the bed, he ambled towards Sungyeol who tried to hide the cellphone, while pressing buttons frantically with Junhong trying to defend him from Himchan.

“Oooh let’s see, this is -” For one moment Sungyeol and Junhong looked lost and Himchan took the opportunity to wrench the cellphone out of Sungyeol’s hand.

When he looked down at the device in his palm, Himchan froze. Then Jongup did something very shocking  - he pried the phone out of his boyfriend’s hands and looked at the astounded trio angrily.

“It’s none of your business.”

“Wait Uppie, that Dongwoo, you’re still in contact with him?”

“Oh please Himchan hyung, not again! He and I are just friends!” Jongup retorted, rolling his eyes in exasperation. I could be wrong but Jongup stole a curious half-look at Sungjong.

“Friends, the way he puts his hand -”

I briskly froze as the information hit me.

“Wait, you know the Dongwoo guy?” I asked while getting up with a hard stare.

I went closer and gripped his shoulders, maybe a little harsher than I should have.

“You know that little ? You know he’s a cocky bastard, right? He’s hurt Sungjong on purpose! How can you befriend that guy?”

“For God’s sake, Hoya, you don’t know him. He’s a very friendly guy. He just…has his pride.”

I groaned and Junhong made me somehow release Jongup. I was about to say something when once again the door opened violently, and Sanghyun appeared.

I swear I'll end up putting a triple lock on that forsaken piece of wood.

“What, is our bedroom going to be the prefects’ headquarter or something?” I asked bitterly. But in fact, seeing Sanghyun’s pallor and slightly panicked eyes, I realized he really did come for prefect-related matters.

Oh no, not again. Won’t they ever let him be in peace?

“No,” I said firmly. “He needs to rest. Tell the Principal he’s not feeling well and-”

“It’s okay Hyung, don’t worry” Sungjong said softly while putting a hand on my shoulder.

I turned and stared at his face attentively - behind the anxiety in his eyes, I could see curiosity and determination. He had felt something was off too.

“Fine,” I sighed. “But you’ve to be back in thirty minutes.” I commanded.

“Sure. Himchan hyung?”

The three prefects exited the room, leaving my stomach churning.

Tell me my guts are wrong about all of this.