His world was dark.

Closing his eyes were torture as darkness completely surrounded him but he couldn’t stand them opened either. Everywhere he looked, the memories of the games haunted him, hindering him from continuing on. Sometimes there would come a little shred of hope that there might be a light at the end of the tunnel. But just when he takes a step further, all the sceneries of the past came crashing, throwing him to the ground with such force that he wasn’t able to recover.

He was a survivor.

A victor at the mere age of 15.

Survived the bloodbath, survived the games.

And yet he couldn’t endure the darkness, couldn’t see the light.

Kim Jongin was trapped in the horrifyingly endless tunnel of shadows and he couldn’t see a way out.

~*~

The crowd cheered and applauded as she waved with a small smile adorning her face. She was trying not to scream, not to shout at the adoring crowd how much of a sadist they are. She focused on the graciousness she felt upon surviving, being able to take a breath while the others cease to exist. Not too long until home, she coaxed herself, a new home.

The trip back home was full of anticipation, of longing and nightmares, especially the nightmares. She hoped it wouldn’t stay long, that in a few days or weeks, it would pass over and leave her be with this new life of luxury and fame.

But it haunted her every time she closed her eyes at night and every time she opened her eyes. She wondered if moving on would be possible when she had seen so many blood being shed, innocent lives taken away and how she had survived because that happened.

Would she be able to live with herself?

Jung Soojung saw a dark tunnel ahead and her world was dimming.

~*~

It seems to be a custom for every family in the victor’s village to invite the newest victor for a meal at their house.

Soojung only had a brief moment reuniting with her family in her new home where she found all of her things being moved there already, before the bell rang and a line of people with gift baskets and congratulations appeared, inviting them for dinner at their house. Her mother didn’t hesitate to turn down the offer of course, reasoning that it’s best to know the neighbors sooner rather than much later. No one disagreed and everything went on as usual.

Soojung watched her family from the corner of the room. Her parents were chatting away on how to improve their new house while her sister was busy enjoying all the luxury she had just received. But none of them cared to ask how she felt about the games, about surviving the bloodbath or the endless nights she spent alone. She watched as her family became what she hated the most.

And she began to take her first step into the tunnel of shadows.

~*~

The son was the victor, she learned later on when her mother told her on their way to their neighbor’s house for dinner. The same age as she was and won the games a few years ago. She didn’t asked more and didn’t dwell on the possibilities of knowing the said boy. She was never fond of the games, stopped watching (tried to at least) ever since she was eligible for the reaping.

There weren’t many victors from District 7 but not too few either. It was a poor district with the only training they ever had were how to handle an axe and surviving in the forest for a day or two. So Soojung was glad there weren’t many neighbors to get to know and sit down and have dinner with.

Most of the victors (she had learned before the games) were either alcoholics or drug addicts and she wondered sometimes the reason they picked up on the obsession. Then she speculated if this other victor, whose house she’s going to, is one of those who drank their sorrows away and tried to forget. Maybe she could learn a thing or two on how to forget.

The dinner went fine for the first part of the night. There was no sign of the son, only his two sisters who chatted with her sister most of the night. Her parents talked with the boy’s parents about this new neighborhood and somehow the scene disgusted her. They talked as if something bad didn’t just happened, as if the whole ordeal didn’t exist.

She tried focusing on the food but her appetite was already gone and even though she made a vow to never waste food (especially after having to fight so hard for it in the games), she excused herself and went out for some fresh air.

~*~

The layout of the house wasn’t that much different from hers and she figured it must be the same for all the houses in the Victor’s Village. The fresh air did some good, cleared her thoughts on how strange every one’s behaving, but it made way for the nightmares, the memories of those days she spent alone at night, wondering if anyone’s on her tail, if another tribute would come and kill her in her sleep.

She found that she didn’t mind if that happened either. What’s so good about living anyway?

Soojung found herself in the backyard, a fountain standing gracefully at the center of it all and decided to rest her legs there. Maybe the sound of water would calm her down.

It did for a few seconds but then the images came again and she closed her eyes instantly. The darkness only made it worse as the flashes became more vivid, more haunting than ever and she began to sob furiously, wishing the nightmares would go away and leave her be.

She cried and cried and heard only her voice and saw only the gory pictures in her head. It wouldn’t go away, nothing would make it go away, her mind screamed. There was a slight touch on her shoulders so she opened her eyes slowly and the first thing she thought she saw through her the tears that blurred her vision, was an angel.

It wasn’t an angel of course, she realized after her eyes cleared a bit and her vision started to sharpen again. It was probably the way he stand behind the light that shone through the darkness of the night. For a second there, she thought she found a light to bring her out from the shadows she was trapped in. No, it was just another boy.

But it wasn’t just another boy.

TBC here!