Jaejoong laid on his bed and did his nightly habit of checking Yunho’s and Changmin’s condition via internet. He had noticed that Yunho looked a bit more haggard than usual the past few days, as if he hadn’t gotten enough sleep. And he also spaced out a few times in live interviews, which was covered tactfully by Changmin. Jaejoong smiled as he found a recent picture of the two, thinking that his maknae had grown up to be a gorgeous man indeed. But the smile turned into a frown as his gaze fell to Yunho. People would still call him y and gorgeous, but Jaejoong knew Yunho more than anyone else and he noticed the lifelessness in his almond eyes.

What is bothering your mind, Yunho-yah? Jaejoong wondered as he drifted off to sleep.

+++

A soft melody was hanging in the air, and Jaejoong opened his eyes into a dimly lit room. He was playing the sad tune on a piano, his faraway gaze directed to the dark grey sky outside the opened window. A storm is brewing outside, and the cold air chilled Jaejoong to his bone. Suddenly, a gush of wind entered the room, bringing the sound of people from outside. The sound of people yelling, cursing, crying…

The door to the room opened, and Yunho barged in to the room looking extremely worried. “Jaejoongie!” he yelled.

“What is it Yunho-yah?” Jaejoong asked, confused. It wasn’t like his lover to wear such a panicked expression, and he guessed that something must be terribly wrong.

Yunho grabbed his hands and dragged him out of the room, “There was an anti-LGBT movement uproar, and somehow the mob decided to punish everyone that’s openly homoual. They had reached our gate, and our security won’t be able to hold them all for long.”

“Oh God,” Jaejoong stumbled in fear behind Yunho. This is all my fault, if only I could hold back my feelings and never tried to seduce Yunho. What if the mob hurt Yunho? What if…

“Jaejoongie,” Yunho called him, bringing him back to the present. “Please focus and stay with me, OK? We have to find a way to get out of here. Don’t worry, I will protect you.”

Jaejoong watched his lover’s reassuring smile with bliss for a second before the sound of the riot got louder. The mob had entered the mansion.

“I think it’s too late to try to get out,” Yunho said, his face paled but he kept his voice calm for Jaejoong’s sake. “Let’s just hide you in the attic, shall we?”

And so they ran to a dark corridor with a ladder in the end. The ladder went straight up through a hole on the ceiling, and Jaejoong realized that they only had to climb and lift the ladder upside to get to the safety of the attic. No one would be able to climb to get them, and they could hide until the mob dispersed.

“Come on Jaejoongie, you climb first,” Yunho said. Jaejoong wanted to protest and told Yunho to climb first, but relented after looking at Yunho’s strong gaze.

He had climbed a few steps when some people got in the other end of the corridor. They started to yell, garnering the attention of the mob all over the mansion. Jaejoong climbed quickly, and Yunho followed right behind him. As soon as he reached the dark attic, Jaejoong turned around to help his lover only to find him pulled down by some angry mob. Jaejoong reached for his lover’s hands and pulled him up, but he was alone and the mob quickly overpowered him, dragging Yunho down more with each passing seconds.

“Let go, Jaejoongie! You’ll fall down with me if you don’t!” Yunho yelled.

“No way!” Jaejoong yelled back, choking back a sob.

“Jaejoongie, I’ve promised that I’d protect you, haven’t I?” Yunho asked, and Jaejoong could see glistening tears in his eyes. “I love you, baby.”

Jaejoong realized what Yunho was about to do a second too late. Before he realized it, Yunho had kicked the ladder to broke it into two, and struggled free from Jaejoong’s grasp. He fell down, and the mob beat him up as soon as he reached the floor.

Jaejoong screamed in horror as the brutes kicked and punched his lover and dragged his bruised and battered body out of his line of vision. None of the mob were able to climb to the attic because Yunho had broke the ladder, and soon they left him behind, sobbing alone in the darkness.

+++

Jaejoong woke up with a start, screaming Yunho’s name. He looked around him in panic before realizing that it was all nothing but a dream, and sobbed uncontrollably.

Are we really not meant to be Yunho-yah? Even if we’re together, the world will still fight against us. And it will manage to break us apart one way or another…

What was the use of living then? Jaejoong thought bitterly. What was the use of living a lie? What was the use of pretending to be a happy and successful person? He was nothing but a broken man. A man without purposes, a man that had lost the better part of his soul.

He had lost his other half. And life had no meaning without him.

Jaejoong was so sick of it all, and it was about time for everything to end.

Jaejoong chuckled as he remembered Jiji and his hobby to climb the railings.

+++

“Hello?” Kim Hyunjoong answered his phone with barely conscious mind.

“Hyunjoong, tell me where Jaejoongie live!” Yunho yelled into his phone in panic. It was ridiculous, but he couldn’t shake off the sense of foreboding that came from his dream. He knew that Jaejoong needed him, and Yunho had got to reach him before everything was too late.

“Dear God Yunho, do you know what time it is?” Hyunjoong asked with irritation.

“Kim Hyunjoong, you can scold me and beat me up for this anytime you want, but I need Jaejoong’s address right now,” Yunho said with determination, and it took barely a second for Hyunjoong to realize just how serious Yunho was. He gave the address to Yunho, and Yunho hung up without saying anything else. He was already running out of his apartment to his car, throwing SME and all the other consequences out the window. He was so sick of living as a walking dead, and he would do anything to get his missing other half back.

+++

“Jaejoongie, open the door!” Yunho yelled and banged on the door after trying to ring up the bell several times without result. Luckily, Jaejoong’s apartment occupied the whole floor so that he disturbed none of the other tenants.

Yunho stood in silence for some seconds, completely out of breath. And somehow he felt that something wasn’t right. Suicidal or not, there was no way that Jaejoong couldn’t recognize his voice from inside the apartment. And then he saw a door that led to the emergency staircase.

“The rooftop”, he whispered in horror before climbing madly through the flight of stairs, completely forgetting the elevator. Luckily, he hadn’t had to climb through many levels before he reached the door that opened up to the rooftop platform.

As soon as Yunho opened the door, his bone was chilled by the vision in front of him.

Jaejoong was standing with his back facing him on the railing, his pale skin glowed in ethereal beauty under the moonlight. Yunho started to run as fast as he could towards his lover, yelling his name with all his might. As he got closer, he could hear Jaejoong’s sob.

“I’m sorry Yunho. Goodbye,” Jaejoong whispered.

The thought of Jaejoong falling into the abyss sent a jolt of adrenaline through Yunho’s body, and he reached out his hands to grab Jaejoong just as his lover fell forward. They fell onto the hard rooftop platform in a mess of tangled limbs, and Yunho held Jaejoong tightly in his arms.

“Oh God,” he sobbed. “Oh God Jaejoongie, what the hell were you doing?”

They kept on crying in each other’s embrace for long minutes. Yunho breathed in his lover’s scent and listened to his sob, feeling his warm breath on his chest. It was the first time they held each other again after years of separation, and Yunho realized just how much he had missed the feel of Jaejoong against his body, their two hearts beating in harmony.

And he could feel his broken soul mending itself, fulfilled by the presence of his other half.

+++