June 2009

It was raining.

“Hyung, why are we out in the rain?”

“Yah! Is it only the rain you see, brat?” A hit in the ribs, because he always enjoyed elbowing people.

“Then what else?”

“There’s a sun too. Today is one of those amazing days, when the sun is out while it’s raining.” I can’t really remember it, but there must have been a sun there, in the middle of the sky. Since he smiled and maybe I smiled too, a little.

“It doesn’t sound so amazing to me…”

“There’s this saying…” There was always a saying. About kids, or about smiles, or about the fire. Always something more than meets the eye.

“Are you starting again with your punch lines and your poems?”

“Shut up, brat… There’s this saying that when there’s rain and sun, poor people get hitched.” For him, everything that was obvious, was hidden and everything I couldn’t see, was perfectly clear to him.

“Married?”

“Mhm.”

“That sounds stupid.” And perhaps I believe it did sound stupid, back then.

“Poor people, weak people, miserable people… do you know why they get married with rain and sun?”

“Good-weather days were booked by the rich people?” He laughed at my stupid joke and then pretended to be mad.

“Aish, look at this brat… Joking around like that.”

“Hey, hey! Hyung, stop hitting me! I’ll listen- I’ll listen!”

“Poor people can only cry, while loving.”

“What?”

“Because it’s hard, because it’s painful and torturous. Poor people can only love, while crying. That’s why there is both sun and rain, on the day they declare their love.” His soft voice wrapped around me, like a coat.

“That’s just sad. Where did you hear that story?”

“Do you think it’s sad, brat?”

“Well…”

“I think it’s beautiful.” He shrugged. “Within this storm, there is a blinding sun, isn’t that amazing? Even if it’s hard to see the sun and be so poor, people still make it and- And right now, somewhere in this world, two people are loving each other with all their hearts, even if it’s raining.”

“Somewhere, two people… Do you really believe this, hyung?”  My fists clenched unconsciously.

“I’m poor and weak and miserable. So you see, brat, I need to believe in this.”

“Are you hoping that, one day, with rain and sun, you will be the one who’s declaring his love?”

“Aha! I will! I definitely will. Do you hear me, brat?!” He pointed, stubbornly at the sun, or maybe I just imagined him to. I don’t know for sure.

“Ha! And you’re supposed to be older than me… You’re acting like a child. So stupid…”

Even though, I was the stupid one.

***

 March 2013

“It’s raining, Hun-ah.” Suho says from next to me, as he helps a half-dead bastard off the asphalt.

“So what?” I land my fist on some other idiot’s chest, watching as his ugly face distorts in pain. My knuckles are starting to sting, it’s okay though. This kind of sharp pain is almost nice, as it runs through my veins, silencing my heartbeat and flooding my mind with rage.

Rage is good too. Rage suits me the best.

“Let’s go back now, we’ve settled things with them.” Suho motions at the unconscious figures on the ground, getting soaked by the downpour.

“Not thanks to you.” I mutter, the spot next to my lips where a sneaky punch found me a few minutes ago. “Damn it, Junmyun, I got a cut, because you refused to help.”

He glares at me, hissing something about not using his real name, in front of strangers.

“Don’t act like a leader to me.” I warn, sliding off a guy who’s clearly seeing stars by now.

“I am the Head.”

“You can’t even fight. I don’t even know how you became the Head.” I have no idea how he ended up in these parts of Seoul, either – a nice guy like Junmyun.

“I gave you a house to stay in. Therefore I am the Head.” It’s a twisted logic for a gang leader, but logic is kind of irrelevant when it comes to having a roof over your head.

“Nothing more than a rooftop in the slums…”

He ignores the snide comment and pushes me aside to check my face.

“Are you hurt, Hun-ah?”

“Aish, let go. I’m fine.”  I don’t need a parent.

“That’s why you should have stopped fighting when I told you to. All we had to do was warn them to stay away. You didn’t have to beat them unconscious.”

“How are they ever going to respect our territory, if we don’t give them a good beating?” Suho is too soft to be the Head.

“I’m pretty sure they had gotten the message when I asked them to keep out and they said ‘ok’.” Also, Suho is one of those people who think words can solve almost everything.

“I will never understand why you’re in the gang…” Maybe he has something more to say but I don’t wait to hear it. I make a turn right and reach the familiar, old building.

When I enter the rooftop, the smell of pizza fills up my nostrils. Baekhyun in lying on the couch, while Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are kneeling in front of the small table. On top of that, Chanyeol is jumping a little on the spot.

“Hun-ah!” The tall guy calls out. “We got pizza, to celebrate your third year anniversary!”

 “I’m eighteen though.” I sigh. These people are troublesome.

“He means it’s been three years since you and Kai joined the gang.” Baekhyun yawns, explaining.

“It’s three years and five months, actually. So there’s nothing to celebrate. If that’s all, I’m going to bed first.” I turn around to leave.

Suho gives me a disapproving look. “Just have some pizza and hang out with us.”

“I’d rather not. I’m not hungry and I don’t like you very much.”  This will shut them up for a while.  Gang, my . They’re just a bunch of losers, playing around, like we’re kids.

“Hun-ah!” Kyungsoo catches up with me as I enter the bedroom.

“Yes?”

“Have you seen Jongin today?” Kyungsoo can pull an amazing uppercut. He’s short and fast; you don’t even notice him move, until you’re lying on the floor, clutching your face and he’s standing over you, laughing.

That’s his good point.

His bad is that he worries about others. A little too much.

“I was out, beating some rats out of our territory. So no.”

“He’s gone all day and I’m getting worried.”

“Have you tried calling him?”  I suggest.

“He’s not picking up. Could you call him instead? I’m sure he’ll pick up if you-”

“You’re wrong.” I cut him off, as I start taking off my clothes and putting on some pajamas.

“What do you mean?”

“He won’t pick up if it’s me. Jongin doesn’t like me very much.”

“But, you guys are childhood friends… He knows you for so long!”

“Maybe that’s why he doesn’t like me.” I send a half smile at the short guy and he stares at me with a concerned expression.

Kyungsoo worries too much. Even now. For me. 

That’s his bad point.

At least he bolts and decides to leave me alone.

I hear the door closing behind me and I quickly lie down, hands behind my head.

“He’s just so cranky; Hun is.” Chaneyol nags from the living room, unaware that the walls are too thin in this dump of an apartment.

“Don’t take it too personally.” Suho is saying in his stupid, calm voice.

“He said he doesn’t like us!”  I scoff at the tall guy’s complaint. Who’d have thought that a fearsome gang would be full of so many childish people…?

“Hun was always like that. I’m sure he doesn’t mean it.” Kyungsoo is probably wrong again.

“Not always.” Baekhyun sounds thoughtful.  “We’ve only known him for three years. We don’t know about before that.” .

This is not good.

Baehyun is not the best at fighting. He doesn’t have the strongest kick and he’s not particularly skilled with his fists.

Yet Baekhyun has good ears.

He learns everything about everyone, first. 

If he’s interested in my past, he can find out about it in a day- even an hour!

That’s bad.

“Are you saying we shouldn’t trust him?” Suho asks and I hold my breath.

“No… That’s not it. I’m only saying we shouldn’t judge like we know everything about him.”

Kyungsoo is starting to say something about Baekhyun being right, when the sound of a door opening interrupts him.

“Damn! Kai-yah what happened to you?” At these words, I stand up, instinctively.

“How did you get so badly beaten up?”

“Who did this to you?”

“Was it B.A.P.? I thought they didn’t cross our territories…”

A million questions come from the other room and Jongin is probably hurt badly for them to sound so worried.

“It wasn’t B.A.P.” Jongin chokes out.

“That’s not important right now.” Suho reasons. “Let him rest.”

“No.” A gasp echoes in the living room, as Jongin attempts to speak again. “No. I have a message. They left a message.”

“You don’t have to force yourself…” Still, we all know the idiot won’t relax until he says it all.

“ ‘You seem nice, but… we’re taking over now. So we’ll have to c-crush you.’ That’s what they said. It was… three guys dressed in red and b-black. They were very strong and they –ugh- they had an ‘M’ tattooed on their wrists…”  Jongin’s voice dies out after that, leaving a deadly silence behind it.

“I think he passed out.” Kyungsoo whimpers from somewhere at the other side of the door and I roll my eyes.

Jongin always talked too much.

Whatever it is, he just has to say it, even if the words are troublesome, or if he’s too hurt to speak.

He’s great at fights. Excellent fakes and nice hooks.

Yet, if he kept his mouth shut a little more, he might not need to use them so often.

But Jongin will be okay.

I lean back on the mattress after I hear Baekhyun nagging about how we are short of bandages and someone needs to go buy some.

Jongin talks too much. He makes everyone laugh with his stupid jokes and dorky lines. And so everyone ends up liking and looking after him.

That’s how I know he’ll be okay.

I look around me at the empty bedroom and then I close my eyes and try to focus on the sound of the rain outside, rather than the voices in the other room.

It’s this dull noise of water hitting concrete over and over again, as if it’s trying to break it.

I fall asleep with a strange thought about people not getting married today. 

A/N: OK, let me explain. This story is half in the present and half in the past.

Which means that in every chapter there will start with one flashback and continue with the present of the story. 

It is Sehun POV. 

And I know it seems confusing but I will slowly explain everything.

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