“I wasn't actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity.”

 F. Scott Fitzgerald

★☆

            She scribbles the same quote all over her score; again. It’s not that she is a keen reader of Fitzgerald works or rebelling against Beethoven and Bach's pieces whatsoever but it just that, she’s trying hard to shut her mind from recalling the scene that had taken its place earlier in the music room. Perhaps for her, by writing this sentence as a reminder (for countless time) might help to knock some sense into her thick skull. Maybe. The letters of the repeated quote was messy and blotted with her tears. They are drying up; her tears on the cheeks and the wet ink patches on the score paper.

            Please, brain. Just stop functioning for a while will you?

            She dug her nails deeper into her right thigh.

            Right, nobody gonna see it. This going to distract the pain, it will subside and would not leave a single scar. Even it is, it can be covered. No worries. And your heart will be okay again. You will forget him. You will forget Sunggyu.

            She reach for the white envelop in her drawer, crumpling half of it in her hand. She thought of turning the paper to the school office later during the recess. She endured it well for the whole day, until the last school bell rings. Nobody will realise it, however tomorrow is a different story.

★☆

            “You see, I’m denying now. I’m pushing the thought of being infatuated with you. Perhaps, it’s not my raging hormones problem even. Maybe, I just like you as a person. Because you're that admirable. I’m smoldering in this essence that I extracted from the whole idea of attracted to you. Hell, everything has a fine line to bound the territory but I couldn’t. I can’t. I can’t draw the lines… Because I don’t even know which category I belong. This feeling for you, I couldn't sort it.”

             Her voice became raspy at the end of the sentence. Sunggyu try hard not to pay attention to the details but he couldn’t help it, she almost losing herself. She shouldn’t Sunggyu though