IRREVOCABLE

Kim So Eun twisted her fingers, smoothing down her muscles and bones that weakening inside her. She must be out of her mind now – or maybe HE must be out of his mind. For standing in front of her, waiting for her to talk. Talk? Was there really anything left to be talked between them? So Eun thought dully as she shrugged and turned her body around. She refused to confront him. She just needs to leave now. As she took her first step, someone grabbed her arm and made her to glance sideway at him.

“Go on...talk to him...”, So Eun frowned on Jae Joong when he said that to her. She bit her lips in hesitation before she was aware of another tall figure next to her right.

“Please, So Eun ah...we need to talk...”, Si Hoo pleaded to her with his begging face; he tugged her sleeve with the tip of his fingers. Lastly, she sighed and dropped her arms, releasing both Jae Joong and Si Hoo’s hands that held on to her.

“Fine...but this is the last time...I swear...”, she told Si Hoo and walked further from the men. Jae Joong and Si Hoo exchanged stern looks between them. Si Hoo was with his ‘get-lost-now’ face while Jae Joong was staring to him with ‘who-are-you-moron’ expression on his handsome look. Then they both glared to each other before Jae Joong shifted his eyes to So Eun back. She had landed her on a bench nearby the road where they were all standing.

“I’ll wait for you at the hotel...”, he reminded her and Si Hoo shot his anxious glare toward Jae Joong.

“Why should he wait for you at the HOTEL??? Is he staying at the same place with you here???”, Si Hoo asked in suspicion but Jae Joong squeezed his shoulders firmly toward him.

“It’s obviously none of your business...”, he answered him with sarcastic voice, jerking an eyebrow toward Si Hoo. Si Hoo chuckled to him while So Eun eyed both of the men questioningly. Why did they were fighting with each other now???

“Oh yeah??? Of course it’s considered as my business...So Eun is my girlfriend!”

“EX-girlfriend, you mean...”, Jae Joong immediately corrected him and So Eun hissed toward them.

“Enough!”, she snapped loudly and they both fell silent at once, changing their heads away from looking at each other. So Eun let go of a heavy sigh, shaking her head before she got up from the seat.

“Okay...you may wait for me at the hotel...and you, Si Hoo ah! Come, we need to talk...”, she decided as she dragged Si Hoo away from Jae Joong to stand further. Jae Joong smirked to them but he chose to drop the matter as he left the two with their conversation. Once So Eun was aware that Jae Joong had gone from their sight, she turned to face Si Hoo again.

“Si Hoo ah...”

“Oppa...”, he cut her halfway from start talking. So Eun gazed confusedly to him. Si Hoo cracked a thin smile toward her, keeping his hands inside his pockets.

“You used to call me oppa...Si Hoo oppa...so don’t suddenly change it...we’re not really strangers to each other...”, he told her again and So Eun took a deep breath.

“Si Hoo ah...em...oppa...whatever...I just want you to know that...”, she tried to say but Si Hoo immediately grabbed her hand and squeezed it firmly inside his palm.

“I just want you to know that I’m still in love with you...”, he finished her sentence with his own words and So Eun sighed desperately to him.

“But I’m not anymore...”, she finally replied after a few minutes silence between them and she pulled her hand freed from him. Si Hoo frowned in disbelief to her.

“What??? I...I don’t believe you...”, he said, shaking his head but So Eun nodded to him.

“Unfortunately you have to...because I just want to forget...everything that happened to us...”, So Eun forced herself to confess to him even though she knew that her words were killing her silently inside. Did she still love him??? Well, of course she did...he was her first love – beautiful yet aching. And So Eun hates the aching part so she decided to let him go, let everything go. Si Hoo bit his lips and closed his eyes for a minute. He tried to gather his patience in order to win her heart again.

“Look, I’m sorry...okay? I’m terribly sorry about whatever you saw on that night...”, he apologized to her, mentioning about the night of his birthday where So Eun finally knew that he had another girlfriend apart from her. So Eun stared to him with bitterness in her eyes, she still remembered about that day. How can she forget??? It was such a painful memory for her.

“But, So Eun ah...I finally realize it...that my heart...”, Si Hoo explained to her as he picked up her hand and placed it down on his chest – he stepped closer to her while So Eun stopped herself from crying. She inhaled deeply and listened to him. “...my whole heart...is actually belongs to you...only to you, So Eun ah...because when I picked up the scrapbook that you made for me...I recalled all the memories of us...I remembered all of it...since the first day that we met each other...until the moment you left me...it was so heart-wrecking...and I know that I can’t do this without you...so please...come back to me...I’m coming here after trying to find you at your office...but they said you’re here...but you don’t have to run anymore...because I am here for you...let’s get back to Korea together...okay???”, Si Hoo kept on pursuing her to rebuild their relationship again but So Eun shook her head and pulled her hand away from him. She took a step backward while staring at Si Hoo through her teary eyes.

“I’m sorry...but I can’t...I don’t know the reason why you do this...why you came here or do you really had break up with your girlfriend...but! There is one thing that I really understand now...”, So Eun told him with firm voice as she held her gaze straight on Si Hoo’s hoping face.

“I don’t want to be that weak, innocence girl anymore...I won’t fall back to you...I don’t want to be the fool that only looking at you while you’re looking at another girl...sorry, but please...leave me alone...”, she finally said and turned her body back to start leaving but Si Hoo clicked his tongue impatiently and he hastily grabbed her waist to prevent her from walking again.

“No, wait! So Eun ah...tell me...do you love that boy??? The boy just now...”, he mentioned about Jae Joong and So Eun gulped down . She wiped away a tear that managed to escape from the corner of her eye before she glanced around to him.

*irrevocably*

Kim Jae Joong rested his body against the rail of the balcony. He narrowed his eyes on the scenery around him. Japan was really a very busy nation because even from this hotel balcony, he could see the entire citizen walking around the pack buildings, heading to their respective places. Even when his eyes wandered on them but his mind flew away somewhere else. He was packed in thinking about So Eun. Since he left her with Si Hoo just now, his heart started to feel unease about it. But why??? Why should he feel like this??? He was supposed to let her do whatever she wants but...he can’t seems to take his mind of from So Eun. Strangely, he wished for her to stay here, in the hotel room where he knew that she would be safe with him without being hurt. Then his ears caught sound of someone knocking on the door.

“Hey...you’re back...”, Jae Joong greeted the pale So Eun as she took her weak paces into the room. She threw her body to sit on the bed as Jae Joong came to stand in front of her.

“Are you okay???”, he asked as he kneeled down to the floor, studying her empty face from there. So Eun gazed toward him as she pouted.

“Can I have a hug???”, she requested with sulking voice and Jae Joong snorted to her.

“Aigoo...what a baby...come, come...”, Jae Joong but he grinned and pulled her body to cuddle her inside his embrace. So Eun closed her arms around his shoulders too as Jae Joong patted her back like they were two close friends.

“Seriously, So Eun ah...what are you thinking actually???”, he asked, her hair gently with his fingers. So Eun rested her head on his shoulders as she chuckled.

“I don’t know...I’m hurt...that’s all...”, she answered truthfully and Jae Joong lightly smacked her head.

“Ouch!”, she said, wanted to let go of him but Jae Joong immediately tightened his grip on her body.

“You don’t have to be so heartbroken, will you??? I broke up with my girlfriends almost everyday...and I have never cry, you know...”, he told her, sounded calm and ease but So Eun smirked to him.

“Easy for you to say...you’re...what they call you??? The heartbreaker...”, So Eun replied and they laughed together. But Jae Joong finally felt relieve right now because So Eun was back to him. Moreover, she was inside his arms, the closest place where he can protect her so he was grateful to have her by his side. A strange, soft feeling sneaking into his heart but Jae Joong himself could understand what was that feeling actually. He never wanted a girl so bad like this. Was he started to fall for So Eun??? Seriously, the ugly duck??? Jae Joong shook to himself as he cleared his throat.

“So what are you going to do now???”, he asked her, changing the topic so that his mind won’t be thinking about So Eun again. So Eun bit her lips for a while before her eyes caught sight of the invitation card on the nearby table.

“I want to fall again...”, she answered in determination as Jae Joong let go of her body. He stared frowning on her face. “Pardon???”

“I said I want to fall in love again...”, So Eun repeated her answer with assurance smile and Jae Joong blinked his eyes.

“Really???”, he asked in disbelief but So Eun excitedly nodded her head and got up from the bed. She walked over to pick up the card as Jae Joong watched her from behind in silence. Then he saw her waving the card playfully to him.

“There is one thing that I learnt from you...that is to live your life to the fullest...because even though you’re being a jerk by breaking every heart that fall for you...but still...you enjoy your life...so I want to live like that too...I want to start over again...falling for a new person...having a new love story...there is no use to stay in sorrow, right???”, she asked for his opinion but Jae Joong narrowed his eyes suspiciously on her and toward the card inside her hand.

“But...you want to fall for who???”, he asked her back absentmindedly and So Eun laughed to him. She flipped the invitation card as she grinned on it.

“Kim Bum sshi...”, she answered and Jae Joong suddenly felt a sharp pain cut through his heart. What the hell was that??? His mind asked in silence as So Eun happily read on the details of the card.

“Em...omo! His birthday party is tonight!!! Aigoo!!! What should I do??? I’ve not yet preparing any gift for him!!!”, So Eun said in panic while she walked back and forth around the room, desperate to think for a special present for him. Jae Joong stayed froze from where he sat and he fixed his eyes on her. As he studied her serious face, trying hard to think for Kim Bum’s birthday gift, he realized how So Eun had started to like Kim Bum honestly from her heart. She was a very innocent and kindhearted girl. All that she felt could instantly be read from her eyes. Jae Joong could see the sincerity in her toward her feeling for Kim Bum. Finally, Jae Joong sighed as he stood up again. He kept his hands inside his pockets and he took his steps toward her.

“So Eun ah...here, listen to me...”, he said and he reached toward her shoulders, making So Eun to stop skipping around.

“What???”, she asked, sounded worried as she was still deep in thinking about Kim Bum’s present. Jae Joong stared closely on her face again before he braced his heart to dare asking her.

“Are you really sure about liking him???”, Jae Joong asked for her confirmation and So Eun chuckled.

“I’m not liking him...I want to love him!”, So Eun corrected and Jae Joong let go of a long sigh. He dropped his hands from her shoulders before he gave her a nod.

“Alright...then you don’t have to think about present...just prepare yourself to be the best for him...”, Jae Joong told her and So Eun frowned questioningly. “What do you mean???”

“I mean...when you’re going for his party...you need to look confident, beautiful and stunning...look presentable for him...then only you can capture his heart only for you...”, he explained again and So Eun blinked her eyes in confusion. A minute after, she shook her head and shrugged to him.

“I don’t know...I don’t get you...”, she said and started to walk again but Jae Joong hissed as he grabbed her wrist.

“Come with me, slow poke!”, he exclaimed and dragged So Eun out from the room.

*irrevocably*

“Welcome to Red Lady shopping mall...here, we provide you with...”, So Eun blinked her eyes as she scanned the place around her. She heard the operator announced from the speaker but she stayed froze in front of the shop.

“Yah! What are you still doing there??? Come in!!”, then she was struck when she heard Jae Joong’s voice calling out to her. So Eun shifted her eyes from the signboard down to him as Jae Joong hissed impatiently.

“Aigoo!!! It’s hard to deal with a dumb!!!”, he complaint as he walked toward her and grabbed her hand again. Jae Joong dragged her inside when she widened her eyes on those things sell in this mall. It was all the ladies’ clothes and accessories from dresses, shirts, trousers, skirts, shoes, high heels, handbags, makeup and every single thing that got to do with a woman! So Eun shook her head as she can’t believe that Jae Joong actually knew a place like this! She who was a girl didn’t even know about the existence of this mall! Then she gripped on his hand, stopping Jae Joong from walking toward the shoes’ rack.

“Yah...honestly...what are we doing here??? And how do you know this place???”, she whispered to him but Jae Joong chuckled.

“I know the owner of this mall...she is a Korean actually...and this is her branch in Japan...well, do you forget that I’m used to date all the materialistic, cosmetic and plastic rich girls??? That’s why I know very well about woman...now, shut up and listen to me! I want to change an ugly duck into a swan which is quite hard to do if you don’t obey me! So be quiet!”, he scolded her and So Eun just blinked her eyes dumbly to him. Jae Joong sighed, shaking his head but he let go of her hand. So Eun cleared , listening to the song played inside the mall as the track shifted to a popular Korean song from TTS entitled Twinkle. The music was catchy with sassy beat as it suited well with her situation right now. She was trying to be twinkle and noticable for Kim Bum.

The twinkle, twinkle...The twinkle, twinkle...

Three singers from Girls’ Generation – Taeyeon, Tiffany and Seohyun started to sing the song from their hit music video that showed on the big screen inside the mall. So Eun watched them, walking closer to the screen and suddenly Jae Joong stepped in front of her. His eyes locked on them too.

“Look at them...very much pretty and y...so you have to be like that too...now, move!”, he said and quickly pulled So Eun’s hand to start following him. First, they entered the makeup department. As the salesgirls saw Jae Joong was walking inside with So Eun tailing him, they instantly bowed to him like they had known him for a long time. So Eun eyed around her suspiciously but she slightly yelled when Jae Joong pushed her body to sit on one of the chairs. She clutched her hands on the arms of the chair when Jae Joong spun the chair to face the big mirror.

“Fabulous makeup for night occasion...I don’t want to see her pale face anymore...change her...”, Jae Joong clicked his fingers toward the makeup assistant and she bowed to him. So Eun blinked her eyes for more when she saw two, three or more persons hovered around her to put on makeup on her face.

“Don’t worry, miss...we’ll make you look good after this...”, one of them told her and So Eun nodded robotically. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Okay, she agreed with him. Let’s transform this ugly duck to a dazzling swan...just for Kim Bum!

Even if I hide, I twinkle – what to do?

It catches the eyes instantly...

Even if I’m covered with a veil...

I obviously twinkle...

So Eun listened to the song as she hummed slowly along it. Yeah, she wanted to be as twinkle as she can to catch Kim Bum’s attention tonight. She watched her reflection inside the mirror as they put on foundation, compact powder, blusher, eyeliner, eyeshadow, lipstick and everything beautiful to glow her face, becoming prettier than ever. Jae Joong just watched her from behind as he sat around a table. As he sipped on his coffee, he crossed his legs together and told the hair designer.

“Change her hair too...look y and dashing...”, he requested to him and the worker nodded. Then So Eun felt her hair that tied up into a high bun was undid to let loose behind her body. They combed it and styled her straight hair into heavy curls; spraying some glitters on it so that her silky black hair looked seductively twinkle. Jae Joong nodded his head in satisfaction.

Other people like the twinkling me too...

You need to take caution till the end...

 You’re the one who stole this gem...

“Kyaaa!!! You look so pretty, miss!!!”, the Japanese salesgirls cheered to her once So Eun stood up from the chair and turned her body around. She smiled breathtakingly to them before she darted her eyes on Jae Joong again. He was now watching her new face with his mouth wide opened. The usual So Eun and the fully makeup So Eun was way too different! She was beautiful and twinkling beyond word. So Eun laughed upon the froze Jae Joong and she walked over to him.

“What??? Mesmerize already by my charm???”, she said as she winked playfully to him. Jae Joong smirked and he rolled his eyes.

“Not yet...now, dress...”, he replied and started to walk out from the shop. So Eun quickly followed him as they entered the dresses department.

“Hmmm...”, he sighed, thinking to find for a very suitable dress for So Eun. She stopped in the middle of the shop as she watched in silence when Jae Joong communicated with the salesgirl, busily choosing for her dress among the long line of dresses hung along the shelter.

Always protect my side, only linger around me...

Don’t take your eyes off me...

Fall into my charm...

Even when she saw how serious Jae Joong was helping her but...she did hope for him to stay by her side. Actually, So Eun was afraid to take a new step toward Kim Bum. She hoped that Jae Joong could be by her side, supporting her even when she was about to leave him for start approaching Kim Bum. She hoped Jae Joong would see her as the beautiful one, fall into her bright charm secretly so that she won’t lose him.

“Don’t space out! Now, try this on!”, Jae Joong snapped her out from her thought as he shoved five dresses into her arms.

“Omo!”, So Eun was startled and she immediately cupped her hands to prevent the dresses from falling down to the floor. She forced a grin toward the salesgirl as she directed her to enter the fitting room.

“Aigoo!!!”, So Eun eyed the y dresses with disgusted face. She picked it up one by one with the tip of her fingers. “This jerk!!! Does he really serious about getting me to wear all this???”

“Ugh!!!”, So Eun groaned but she threw the last dress that she held to the floor before she begun to put on the first one, the dress colored in light maroon or maybe a little bit orange. Oh, whatever! She thought as she squeezed her shoulders uncomfortably and ready to step out from the room. As she opened the door, Jae Joong tilted his head inside and So Eun stopped standing in front of him.

“So what do you think???”, she asked, spinning her body around as Jae Joong scanned her body up and down. The dress suited her slender body but... “Ouch!”, So Eun hastily supported her body from fall down by pasting her hands on the wall next to her. Jae Joong rolled his eyes. He just knew it how clumsy she was so that long laces tailed below the dress won’t be a good idea for her.

“I don’t want you to stumble like crap in front of him...so that tail won’t do any trick for you...just change...next!!!”, he said, clicking his fingers and the salesgirl closed the door back for her. So Eun cursed under her breath but she forced herself to try the second one.

“Too plain and innocence...next!!!”

“What are you??? 50 years old grandmother??? Next!!!”

“Hmmm...the color is y enough and suited well with your fair skin but...I don’t like little black dress! It feels like you’re attending the funeral...so next, please???”, So Eun groaned loudly, biting her lips in anger as she slammed close the fitting room with full of her heart, causing a loud bang exploded inside the whole mall. Everyone outside the room turned to look at Jae Joong but he simply waved and grinned to them before he relaxed his body again, whistling in ease.

“Grandmother??? Too plain!!! Too innocence!!! Funeral!!! Ugh!!! You’re the one who too freak, Kim Jae Joong!!!”, she mumbled alone inside the room as she shoved the last dress to wrap her body. Then she stood straight, looking grudgingly on her reflection inside the mirror.

“I swear this is the last one!!! If I get another ‘too’, I’ll just attend the party with my sweatpants!!!”, she told herself, nodded in determination before she pulled the door opened widely.

“How is it???!!!”, So Eun asked loudly and Jae Joong raised up his head to look at her.

I want to look good for you...

I want to be prettier and twinkle...

Why are you the only one who doesn’t know my true value???

Even if I hide, I twinkle – what to do?

It catches the eyes instantly...

Even if I’m covered with a veil...

I obviously twinkle...

“Hmmm...”, Jae Joong murmured as he rubbed his chin and circled around So Eun, her face looked so bored but the prettiness never leave her outstanding appearance tonight.

You’re so calm, you’re so arrogant...

I can’t see the end of the line of those who want me...

Unbelievably, you’re so indifferent...

I’m a fallen star from the sky!

*irrevocably*

So Eun took her small steps side by side with Jae Joong. She kept shut as she stared on his sideway face. He was so quiet since they left the mall just now. It made her to feel strange but she didn’t dare to ask.

“Let’s just stop here...”, as So Eun bent down her face, staring on their shadows when they walked, Jae Joong stopped walking too. So Eun followed his movement and she looked up to him. He slightly smiled as he turned his body to face straightly at her.

“Well...are you going to be okay??? Going to the party alone???”, Jae Joong asked her and So Eun grinned while nodded.

“Don’t worry...this is going to be easier with your help...I’m full with confidence now...”, she replied as she swayed her body around in front of him, posing her beautiful dress and pretty makeup. Jae Joong chuckled but he gave her a nod.

“Alright...just be careful...don’t act like a monkey and be honest to him...tell him your true feeling...”, Jae Joong reminded her and So Eun laughed shortly. But then her bright smile lit up even more on her lips when she saw something tiny on his head.

“Look!”, she cheered as she stepped closer to him and tiptoed on her feet to pick that small Sakura petal that dropped on his hair.

“What is it???”, Jae Joong asked and So Eun opened up her palm toward him and revealed the small petal with strange shape. She laughed on it.

“Hahahaha...what a weird shape...but it’s cute...almost like a heart shape...”, she told him, keeping her sight on it but Jae Joong gulped down his throat and slowly gazed closer on her face. He studied her doll face silently – she was indeed very perfect. As perfect as an angel in his eyes.

“So Eun ah...”, he called out to her with his gentle voice.

“Hmmm???”, she said and darted her face up to look at him. They stared to each other before So Eun frowned to him, “What???”

“Have you...have you ever feel it??? To irrevocably in love with someone??? Apart from your ex-boyfriend???”, he stumbled as he questioned her but So Eun dropped her hand down to her side. She thought over it for a while but finally she smiled and shook her head.

“No...I’ve never feel it...a love that is so irrevocable...but I hope to feel it now...with Kim Bum...so wish me luck!”, she said, giggled happily and clapped her hands. Jae Joong smiled, feeling happy but sad upon her cheerfulness. Then he nodded to her.

“Okay...but promise me that you’ll always be happy with him...”, he reminded her as he took off his coat and slung it to cover around So Eun’s body instead. She jumped a bit and struggled to let her body free from it.

“Yah! What are you doing??? I’m fine without it!”, she refused but Jae Joong hissed and clasped the coat to fully wrap her body.

“Then are you going to ride the bus with that y dress??? Having everyone’s eyes on you while you’re freezing to death??? Think fast, you slow poke!”, he growled to her and So Eun laughed naughtily.

“Hehehehe...sorry!”, she said and smoothed down her hair back. Jae Joong glared to her but he suddenly grabbed her shoulders and forced her to focus her sight on him. So Eun blinked her eyes when their faces were just an inch apart from each other.

“Yah, Kim So Eun...are you going to promise me or not??? If you don’t, I won’t let you go to him...”, Jae Joong told her and So Eun immediately cleared . She pushed his hands away and winked to him.

“Yes! I promise you!”, she saluted to him and turned around to start walking away. Jae Joong just sighed heavily, forcing his feet to plant firmly on the ground so that he won’t be chasing after her. He wanted so bad to grab her, hug her and tell her to stop seeing Kim Bum but then...when Jae Joong thought about it again, he was just a friend to her. So he didn’t have that right to stop So Eun from choosing her own path. So Eun sang to herself, skipping on her feet as she walked but she stopped when she realized her hand was still holding the Sakura petal just now. She grinned on it before she turned back toward Jae Joong.

“Here! This is for you!”, she said and pushed the petal on his chest. Jae Joong looked up to her but he caught that tiny flower into his palm. He eyed it for a second before he gazed back to So Eun, still smiling for him.

“Why do you give me this???”, he asked in confusion, showing that Sakura petal shaped like a heart toward So Eun. She rubbed her chin for a while, pretending to think before she snapped her fingers and grinned broadly.

“It’s a symbol...for you to start loving a girl...find a girl and love her wholeheartedly...irrevocable love, like you said...I’ll find mine and you should start with yours...”, she concluded for him and blew Jae Joong a flying kiss before she walked away again, leaving for real. Jae Joong felt his throat gone dry upon listening to her as he watched her steps further and further away from him. Lastly, he saw So Eun stopped walking and she turned glancing at him over her shoulder. She curved her prettiest smile for him before she waved and a bus came to stop in front of her. Jae Joong tried to smile back but his face felt so stiff and he ended up just watching her when she climbed into the bus and zoomed away.

Jae Joong gulped down his throat, feeling a sharp pain throbbed inside his heart. It was his first time to experience this kind of feeling, this kind of pain. Slowly, he darted his eyes down on that little petal.

"Can a heartbroken girl like Kim So Eun falling irrevocably in love with a heartbreaker like Kim Jae Joong?"