Because there was only one mentor who had suffered the pain this beautiful boy was going to be subject to.

It took a riot and a half; but fairy riots consist of aegyo battles and endless tears that are far too adorable to deny, so it wasn’t really that bad. Had Sungjong been a fairy at that time, his puppy eyes probably would have ended the riots much faster.

But as it was, Sungjong was in the closet.

In a dark, cold closet.

With nothing but his teddy bear to punch, to kick, to hold when he questioned why Myungsoo was the love of his life.

Sungjong is confused. He is Infinite. He is an idol.

He does not fall in love with s.

He thinks this as he attacks the bear’s nose with frustrated fingers.

The darkness of this closet is calming, and Sungjong tries to forget that there are only a precious few minutes left before the rest of the members will begin to wonder where he went. Well, all the members except the one that matters.

Sungjong is still trying to forget when the twinkle, so pure its radiates melody with its light, brightens a patch of the darkness.

Kim JaeJoong appears as a floating angel, perched on Sungjong’s perfect hair. Sungjong is even more confused.

JaeJoong waits until Sungjong comes to accept his newfound love. That much he has to do on his own.

It hurts a bit, when Sungjong throws himself onto his bed – a most difficult task, given that he has the top bunk –and cries himself to sleep, cries over the inevitable fact that he will forever be doomed to a one-sided love.

It hurts a bit, when Sungjong punches the bear, breathily huffing questions between each punch. Why him? Bam. Why me? Boom. Why love? The bear flies off the bed, and JaeJoong really does try his hardest to bring it back to Sungjong’s bed, but no matter how many muscles he has on his sculpted body, a chibi cannot lift a stuffed bear twenty times its size.

It hurts the most when JaeJoong sees Yunho.

Because that mussy hairdo, those purple-gray wings, that barely floating twinkle of light tailing Myungsoo can only be Yunho.

And that hurts the most.

JaeJoong was not told the fate that would become of Sungjong when he was first assigned to his second mentee –a task never given to any fairy before him.

Staring at the now lilac, now purple twinkle, he knows why.

Sungjong steps out of the closet the next day. JaeJoong is anything but ready. He does not want to answer the questions he will be faced with. He does not want to re-live the pain he has suffered.

“JaeJoong-ah,” Sungjong’s voice is like his: a little feminine, sometimes with a chuckle, and always accompanied by a twinkle of the eyes. “Why do I love Myungsoo?”

JaeJoong shifts a bit. “Love works in strange ways, Jongie.” His tiny chibi hands ruffle a patch of Sungjong’s hair. It barely makes a mark, but it’s the thought that counts.

“JaeJoong-ah,” Sungjong’s eyes are like JaeJoong’s: a little too large, a little too bright, a little too pure not to make you fall in love with him. “Why are you here with me?” JaeJoong starts to explain the way mentees always get a mentor, when Sungjong’s voice stops him. “No, why is it you?”

And that’s a question JaeJoong doesn’t want to answer.

And somehow, Sungjong knows it’s an answer he doesn’t want to know.

A week later, Sungjong confesses his love to Myungsoo. A week later, Sungjong starts dating Myungsoo. A week later, Sungjong is the happiest boy alive.

And JaeJoong is the saddest mentor alive.

A year later, Myungsoo starts acting. He spends more time in Japan than he does with s, and of those hours at least half are spent catching up on sleep.

Sungjong can feel him slipping. Sungjong can feel Myungsoo slipping. Sungjong can feel himself slipping. And those tiny chibi hands try to catch him, but it’s not enough.

Angels were made to talk, not to act. So he does.

He gives Sungjong the answer he doesn’t want to know.

“There are many loves,” Sungjong listens attentively. “Because there are many times to love.” JaeJoong fiddles with the hairs on Sungjong’s head, making mini braids out of ridiculously thin strands of hair. “But sometimes, you love the right person at the wrong time.”

And because he doesn’t know how else to put it, he sings. He sings every song they sang together, from the happy promises of Hi Ya Ya to the tearfully romantic ones of Love in the Ice. And somehow, Sungjong sings along too.

Sungjong is crying on his top bunk, his blankets even more of a mess than his hair, when JaeJoong realizes why he’s here. “JaeJoong-ah,” his eyes twinkle with the same purity of JaeJoong’s wings. “What’s the point of loving Myungsoo?”

What’s the point of loving Yunho?

And JaeJoong can only smile –because how else can he say these words?

“And if there’s no point, then what do I do now?” His voice is a perfect echo of the same despair and desperation JaeJoong’s was years ago. But this time, there’s an answer.

This time, there was JaeJoong. This time, there was Yunho. And this time, there is an answer.

“You love.”

“Because it is the only thing you can do.”

Tsumetai sono te kimi no seijanai

It′s not your fault those hands are freezing

Sungjong smile cracks a little more with each fake one he pastes on. Because it hurts a little to love, but it hurts more not to. Chibi hands paw through his hair.

“Relax.” A deep breath. “Enjoy.” A semi-genuine smile.

Because you might not get to again.

The purple lilac twinkle drifts towards him. “JaeJoong-ah?” Sungjong has never seen such a pained smile on his mentor’s face. The glistening white chibi nods his head towards a more private location, and floats off quickly towards it.

Don’t show Sungjong. Not yet. Don’t show him Yunho. Don’t show him how much it hurts.

JaeJoong is the first to speak. “Acting? Or someone else?”

“Neither. I still love you.” The huff in Yunho’s voice is indignant and upset and he has every right to be. Or at least, he thinks so.

JaeJoong shakes his head. “Not you. Myungsoo.”

A small purple “oh,” leaves Yunho’s lips. “He likes Sungjong.” JaeJoong nods. But he loves something else more. Neh? His wings flutter, ready to float off again. “JaeJoong.”

“Mentors don’t date Yunho.”

It was the right person. At the wrong time.

But JaeJoong had loved with all of his heart anyways. Because he wouldn’t get to again. So JaeJoong picks up the remnants of his heart and floats towards his mentee.

You said you’d protect me.

You said you’d melt this ice.

There is no ice in JaeJoong’s heart, because there isn’t much heart left to hold ice. But with what’s left, he shelters the melting layers of Sungjong’s heart.

If you can only love once, love with your all.

Don’t regret it, Sungjong-ah.

And as he cradles the remnants of his heart, floating away from the lilac love of his life, JaeJoong still doesn’t.

It’s a love he’ll treasure forever.

It’s a cold he’ll treasure forever.

Tsumetai sono te kimi no seijanai

It′s not your fault those hands are freezing