I trailed in enough paces behind him so that at a glance, it would seem we were walking separately.  At least, I did until he looked over his shoulder and came to a stop so I would be at his side.

I couldn’t help but notice that every move he made towards me was delivered with care, every glance.

He had his hands in his pocket and his stride was intimidating. When he wasn’t looking in my direction, he was looking with a cold stare.

 It appeared that students were actually down-right scared of him. Strange. I admit, he did seem like the type that you had better not meddle with, but the profuse respect that was given to him sent chills through my veins.

He halted not too far from the classroom but far enough, under the staircase. The few students that passed weren’t in the area’s line of sight but that just meant that they couldn’t see us either. It made me even more anxious than I had been seconds earlier.

We sat there and he broke the silence with a light question. “How’s your day so far?”

Not what I was expecting, but I just assumed he was attempting to break the ice.

I shrugged my shoulders , “it could  have been a lot more eventful, I guess.” I replied nonchalantly, which was pretty damn impressive, considering the fact that I was experiencing a series of mini heart attacks.

He gave a tiny chuckle, “that’s a sufficient way to describe any day in this grey building.” He said, reaching into his pocket to pull put a small box of what looked like mints, candies of some sort and popping one into his mouth. He offered me one but got declined before stuffing the box back into his pocket and continuing with asking me about general things.

It seemed like he wasn’t the least bit interested in bringing up the events that had happened between us over the weekend. There was nothing more than the desire to get to know me a bit better. I liked that.

Favorite colors and lists of top movies and music genres. Simple, innocent conversation. It was refreshing.

A part of me had hoped there was nothing worthwhile under that beautiful exterior, that it was wholehearted physical attraction enticing me to want this boy so bad. But just to my luck, he was not just a box of rocks I could simply kick to the curb.

The bell rang, signifying the much-too-soon end of lunch break. In the that particular moment, there was nothing I despised more than that bell.

The sound of bustling students grew nearer as they all began to head back to the classrooms. He and I had fallen silent. Each wanting to leave less than the other.

But I couldn’t let that show. He got up after. “Well, I shouldn’t keep you any longer, don’t want to cause any trouble for you…” He said with the slightest hint of disappointment, almost undetectable. Almost.

I nodded in agreement but didn’t move. He spoke again, “I’ll walk you back to your-“

“N-no no! Th-there’s no need for that, really…” I interrupted in a nervous stutter. He seemed a bit confused, but brushed it off with a shrug and an “okay then,”

But before I could go on my way, something happened that could be interpreted as either amazing or dreadful. He stepped in closer.

I felt my stomach tie up in knots.

He got even closer and my palms began to sweat, but it was as if the soles of my shoes were super glued to the floor.

I felt his palm lightly cup my jaw as his thumb brushed against my cheek and every muscle in my body turned to stone. He was moving in for the kiss. My brain was frantically trying to replace the “God, yes! Please let him kiss me” with what it should have been, “Oh lord, I’ll do anything, just don’t let him kiss me…”

He was so close now, so very close. I caught the faintest of an aroma, it was the smell of lemons tickling my senses.

I didn’t know if it was actually coming from him or if it was just my mind playing tricks on me. But there was no time to think about that anymore, his breath was hitting my lips now.

He took what should have been the last glance at me before closing his eyes, but wasn’t because instead, he came to a complete stop.

He had noticed it. He noticed everything. He noticed the frozen-solid posture, the fact that I was holding my breath, the difficulty I was having trying to swallow the lump in my throat, he noticed.

And he pulled away.

He gave me a warm smile before speaking, “I’ll see you around, Tao.” He said then dug his hands back into his pockets, turned and walked away.

A gush of air escaped my lungs. Holy , I thought to myself, that was close.

The teacher didn’t take kindly to my tardiness, but Baekhyun’s wrath was the one I truly feared. If Chanyeol had told him that I spent pretty much the entire recess with that boy, the reaction I’d have gotten would’ve been, let’s just say, less than pleasant.

“Hey, where were you?” I heard Baekhyun whisper to me in confusion after the teacher finally concluded his scold and allowed me to take my seat.

All I could do was pray to god that the boy to my left kept his mouth shut and reply Baekhyun with a nonchalant “bathroom.”

He didn’t question it.

He was invading my thoughts now more than ever. He was absolutely all I could think about. And he didn’t even kiss me. He almost kissed me, he was going to kiss me… if he’d have gone through with it would’ve been magical. It would have been miserable.

If he’d have kissed me, I knew exactly how I would have felt. The second our lips made contact, my eyes would close shut and the nervous flips in my stomach would have formed. Then, I would feel a prickling sensation rise up from the tip of my toes and shock my whole body, so that even my fingertips were numb. Every muscle I owned would be too tense to move and every clock will have come to a stop.

But then I’d feel his fingers tangle into my hair. I’d focus on his steady breaths and the scent of his skin would fill me, becoming the only thought I’m able to fathom into coherence and that’s what would make the nervous flips transform into butterflies, and turn the stinging prickle into a pleasant tingle and everything would be breathtakingly serene and I’d-

“Tao?” Baekhyun said while prodding at me and his voice rang in my ear for a couple seconds as he pulled me out of my head. It took me a few moments to realize that I was a complete ing idiot.

Creating scenarios about kissing boys… I didn’t think it was possible, but I have officially reached a whole new low.

The disappointment towards myself seemed to grow with every passing second. “Yeah?” I responded.

“It’s fifth period now, where are you?” he asked and I only just noticed the flurry in our classroom that would only happen between classes. The bell rang?

“I’m right here,” I replied. He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Really? Because you don’t seem like it.” He said, almost distressed. But I had nothing to say in response, so I just kept quiet.

He gave a sigh. “I’m sorry, it’s just… You’re making me worry, Tao. ”

I looked up and saw him smiling, but a flicker of hesitation was present. I smiled back because I knew he meant well.

“You don’t have to worry,” I assured, and his smile lit ten shades brighter.

He opened his mouth to speak but barely got a syllable out before I was suddenly tackled into a bear hug from behind.

 My heart stopped but it took me all about half a second to realize it was Chanyeol. Baekhyun was holding back his laugh but the huge grin on his face was something he couldn’t hide as the impact of the tall Chanyeol took me off the chair and sent us both crashing to the floor.

It seems I have made a new friend. I have two whole friends.

And the thought of it made me laugh.

One’s a flower boy-slash- care-bear mommy, the other is the human embodiment of a laughing hyena and both of them just so happen to be the celebrities of the school.

 I internally smiled because I couldn’t help but think about how wacky we’d look prancing around school together.

But the events directly after made me wish I had stayed home sick today.

It was when I was seated, Baekhyun standing in front of me and Chanyeol sitting on my desk.

“So,” Chanyeol said with his wide smile that always made an appearance, “what did you and Kris talk about during recess?” he asked in a suggestive tone, wriggling his eyebrows.

A lump grew in my throat, so big I could barely breathe. Baekhyun’s smile dropped before the tick could even turn into tock. His eyes widened and he stared at Chanyeol. “What?” he asked as if he had misheard, almost horrified.

Chanyeol’s smile gradually faded, sensing that he might’ve said something wrong. The tension grew and Baekhyun finally shifted his hurt, betrayed gaze from Chanyeol and locked it onto me. “What is he talking about?”

Chanyeol silently slipped back into his seat with the guilty look of a little child who had just been scolded.

“Well, I…” I said, frantically searching for a way to tell him without upsetting him too much. “I was with him during lunch break…” and suddenly all cohesive thoughts evaporated from my mind. I didn’t do well under pressure and Baekhyun knew that, but I also knew that Baekhyun was too hurt to consider that, and the next thing he did was bolt towards the classroom door and I could’ve sworn I saw a glisten in his eyes, they were teary.

“Baekhyun, wait!” I called just as he passed through the doorframe, getting up to dart after him. I didn’t like it when he was upset, least of all when he was upset with me.

It only took me a few second to maneuver around the desks and reach the door, but the second I did, the biology teacher stepped in front of me, blocking my path with a stern look. “Going somewhere?” He asked sarcastically. I looked over his shoulder and saw Baekhyun turn a corner.

“I was just going to head to the bathroom, I-”

“Sit.” He harshly interrupted. I sighed and dragged myself back to my desk and everybody else scrambled to their seats. I saw Chanyeol looking at me from the corner of my eye. “Tao,” he said before the room quieted down completely. “Tao, I’m really sorry.”

I didn’t acknowledge him. I just rested my head on the desk and dug my face into my arms. I knew I was reacting childishly but I wasn’t in the mood for anyone or anything. I liked Chanyeol, which was rare for me, especially because I only just got to know him that same day, but in that moment I didn’t even want to look at him.

I had only been drunk once in my entire life and the outcome of that was the greatest misfortune of my life, but I’d have given anything to have a drink right now.

In that moment, I did nothing but sulk and pray that a miraculous fairy would appear to magically poof me back home, so at least then I could hate myself in the comfort of my own bed.

This was not a good day.