*Sigh* I feel so lost right now. I feel confused and hurt. I miss a lot of people right now, some I know I can’t see even if I wanted to. Like my family in Japan, or my family in Puerto Rico. But let’s recap what’s happened so far.

Firstly there was the photo shot that led to the steamy at the dorms. There’s something a little odd about it but I’ll go over that later.

Then going to SM with SHINee and going to Key’s vacation house- which is freaking beautiful! It’s my sixth day here and I’m still getting lost.

The first night ended up with a lot of cuddling with Jonghyun, and he is my favorite cuddle partner of all times- no offense to Suho.

The second day here was more relaxing and a lot of sleeping. I cooked all three meals and I waited on the boys because I knew this would be one of the few days that they would actually get to relax. That night ended with me sharing the bed with Key because no one else wanted him. He… Key is a very strong guy and if Key doesn’t want you to get out of bed there is no way in hell he will let you leave- I still have a bruise from his sleep attack.

The third day was a blur due to the fact Taemin took us out to a bar and we got extremely wasted. I remember parting and when I woke up there was SHINee and a couple other guys on my bed. Who knows what happened?

Then there was the fourth day. Key showed us the indoor swimming pool in the basement and everything seemed perfect. Then I checked the calendar, it was the 10^th. When I saw the date I ran to the bathroom but I didn’t get my little present from Mother Nature. But I was under a lot of stress so it’s normal for me to miss ONE day. I paid no mind to it but stayed away from the swimming pool thinking I would get it.

And then there is day five. Nothing yet and I freaked out. Never in my entire seventeen years have I been late- ever. I mean not even when I first got my period, even then I was always on date. I got it on the ninth and it left by the sixteenth. I didn’t know what to do so I called my favorite gangstar- Taeyang- oppa. I locked myself in the basement and told him everything. He refused to let me stay there one more night and picked me up two hours later. We went to YG Entertainment and talked about it. After half an hour Daesung came in wondering why Taeyang wasn’t practicing.

Daesung was in shock but refused to believe it and left without looking at me again. The thought of me being pregnant was something I have never thought about before. I always wanted to be a mother but not like this, I have disowned my family if this is the truth. T.O.P came in a few minutes later and yelled at me. ‘WHO WHERE YOU WITH, HOW OLD IS HE? I TOLD YOU NO UNTIL YOU WERE MARRIED!’ He yanked my arm and pulled me through the building guiding me back outside. I couldn’t contain the tears that were falling. I can still remember the sound of the other member telling T.O.P to come back.

Big Bang- oppa’s took me to the hospital. Daesung wouldn’t look at me, Taeyang held me in his arms, T.O.P paced around the room, GD… well GD smoked outside until  the doctor came and then there was the youngest Seungri. Every time I looked at his face I cried. He looked like a disappointed father. I can’t help but feel as though I had failed them.

When the doctor came back with the results everything felt like slow motion. The first thing I noticed was Taeyang drop to the floor. GD snatched the clipboard and read it over screaming bull as he threw it. Daesung held me in his arms telling me he’s sorry. T.O.P on the other hand walked out without another word. Seungri tried to calm everyone, he made the doctor leave saying we need some time.

“YOU’RE PREGNANT KATHERIN!” Taeyang looked at me. “DO YOU…” he lowered his voice after the younger ones nudged him. “Do you know who did this?”

I nodded my head slowly; the only person it could belong to was Suho. This isn’t right, this isn’t happening. “Who did this to you?” Daesung pleaded. I couldn’t answer because right then and there I started bawling my eyes out. GD looked at me with caring and loving eyes as he pulled away the hair from my face.

“Who did this to you Katherin?” I launched myself into his arms.

“You can’t hurt him oppa, no matter what you can’t hurt him.” I pleaded because I know if they didn’t promise they would kill the man I love. They would rip his life apart and he will never have seen it coming. He promised me he wouldn’t. “Kim Joon Myun.” Suho.

They cancelled the rest of their schedules’ and took me to their dorms. We didn’t really talk; no one knew what to say.  

And now its day six and I’m off to my high school graduation. I passed all my classes and tomorrow I will be eighteen years old. I haven’t told my parents, Exo or SHINee yet but they all showed up for my graduation, which was the best part about everything. Although there was a mass of fans around them they focused on me, Taeyang and GD were attached to my hips the entire night keeping Suho at a safe distance. I was already accepted into the collage I wanted but I want to wait a year before starting school, earn some money, and raise my child. I cried a lot last night, I called T.O.P over and I apologized for failing him. He told me it doesn’t matter and that he loves me. Mami let him stay the night. I don’t know how I will tell her, I’m so scared.

A/N: since I don't really care about school tomorrow and I felt really bad for some reason I wrote this. I hope you guys like it. I actually cried while writing this because i could just imagine who disappointed Big Bang must ave felt to be oppa's and knowing thaat their little sister is knocked up. Anyways I'll try to post tomorrow, but next week is a really busy week for me so if you dont hear from me, I am sorry :>

Good night! (well for me it's night i mean its already 10 pm.) Good morning and Good after noon! <3 P.s am i the only one that sees a bulge on GD?