It is mid April in South Korea, temperature is rising steadily every day; the atmosphere held a certain air of optimism from the cheerful faces of the shoppers. The empty streets are now filled with people in various summer clothing, chatting and laughing with one another. People are constantly going in and out of the shops with their friends; the streets shows no resemblance of what it was like in  the past season. Among one of the most crowded streets, there is one road that is exceptionally empty and held an air of serenity. At the very end of the deserted road is a little bubble tea shop that stood out distinctively. It is overflowed with teenagers submerged in their own conversations without any regard to their surroundings. Unsurprisingly, they paid no attention to a new customer that came through the front door.

As the young man pushed open the door, a soft chime rose above all other noise and reached the store owner’s ears. The boy had a look of contemplation on his face. The store owner is a lady in her late 50s. Because of her kindness and out-going personality, this store was exceptionally popular even though it is in one of the less crowded streets.

 “How can I help you today, Sehun?” the store owner asked while intruding the young boy’s thoughts.

“Oh, yes. I would like two bubble teas please, a chocolate and a taro.” The young man replied. Then he murmured, “Just the way he likes it.”

“I’ll be right back with your two delicious bubble teas in just a couple of minutes.” The lady said with a smile and headed towards the back of the shop.

The young man simply nodded with a smile, and took out his phone. The phone had a vintage case. After pressing the unlock button, he looked at his phone with eyes full of adoration and happiness. The screen saver he had on was a picture of two young men together; both of them with blonde hair and had cheerful smiles on their faces. The taller one on the left have an arm resting on the shorter’s shoulder, causing their head to be right beside each other. Judging from what they were wearing, the picture was probably taken in the early spring. The taller boy from the picture appears to be the one that is currently zoned out in the bubble tea shop waiting for his drinks to arrive.

“Here you go Sehun, your two bubble teas.” The store lady said as she came back. Her eyes saddened as she saw the young man looking at his phone with a doting gaze.

“Oh, thank you. How much will it be? Sorry, I haven’t stopped by for awhile” Sehun said.

“Don’t worry about it; this one is on the house.” She said with a smile.

 “Are you sure? Alright, thank you, for all the trouble and the bubble teas.” The younger smiled weakly.

“No, don’t thank me, thank you.” The elder replied with an understanding smile.

The younger shoved his phone back into his pocket. He grabbed the two cups of tea with his free hand and headed towards a discrete corner of the store. He chose a table with two chairs face to face with each other.  Before he sat down, he went to the chair across from him and pulled it out as if it’s an old habit. After doing so, he sat down on one of the chairs with the chocolate bubble tea place in front of him while he placed the taro across from him.

He looked up from his bubble tea and smiled, “Just like the good old times isn’t it?”

But there was no one sitting in front of him. It was just himself, staring blankly into the empty spot across from him where there used to be a special someone for him.

Every action of his seemed very casual and looked like he had repeated it million of times. But then, he didn’t seem to mind at all, he seemed so used to it; to the fact that his life lacked of his presence. Still, he never regretted or denied his existence and impacts to his life. His still existed in his world as his illusion after all.

Sehun stared at his finished bubble tea as teardrops came running down his cheeks. His eyes were red, and swollen, and his lips were trembling. As if something suddenly strikes him, he stood up and looked around. He felt embarrassed about the fact that he wasn’t alone when he couldn’t stop the flow of liquid that constantly leaked out of his swollen eyes. He wiped his face, got up, and looked back at his table where two bubble teas stood, one full and the other empty and gone. He snickered to himself while staring at the table.

“Just like the two of us isn’t it? You were supposed to be here instead of me.” He said to himself.

Sehun pushed back the two chairs and wiped his face again before getting his two drinks. He went up to a nearby garbage can to throw the empty drink away. Then he headed towards the wall full of vivid sticky notes and signatures.

The wall was painted in a lighter shade of beige in comparison to the rest of the shop. Not only that, the neon color of sticky notes was bringing it to the center of the focus. Since this store was really popular among teenagers and even idols, the shop owner thought of such idea to attract even more customers.

In the sea of various colors and shapes of sticky notes, there was one that was exceptionally plain and somewhat dull-looking. It was just one of the pale yellow colored sticky notes in the shape of square, but that was what Sehun headed straight towards.

His hand automatically traced against on that message. Although the writing got smudged and faded a little, the message was neatly written and a signature can be seen to the right side of the bottom corner.

Sehun took one last glance at the wall, and headed out of the shop.

Without turning back, he went straight to a nearby flower shop and greeted the store owner.

“Hi, can I have a bouquet of roses?”

“Of course, what color and how many would you like?”

“99 red roses neatly wrapped please.” Sehun replied politely.

“Which wrapper would you like sir?” The shop owner questioned.

“Just a clear one will do. Plain and simple was always his taste.”

“Must be for a very special person I assume” The shop owner said while carefully wrapping the fragile roses and beautifying the entire bouquet.

“Yes, very special indeed.” Sehun smiled.

“Here you go, thank you very much.”

“No problem,” Sehun said while handing the shop keeper the money.

 “Keep the change. I won’t be needing it anyways.” Sehun said, as he walked out of the shop without forgetting the bubble tea that he left at the counter.

The street he walked on was silent just like the man himself, and he had absolutely no desire of breaking that peacefulness. He continued to walk through the quiet street and occasionally looked up in case of any upcoming traffics and pedestrians.

The sun was still hanging high in the sky, constantly blinding Sehun from looking up to check out the baby blue sky. Under the sun, Sehun’s hair turned from the original shade of auburn into light brown with bits of red hidden here and there. Sehun’s face can’t help but to smile from the warmth of the sun.

That teensy little warmth felt similar to Sehun and it reminded him of his baby deer.

The thought of his deer brighten his smile as he continued walking down the busy street.

After numerous intersections, he finally arrived at his destination and he walked in without any hesitation.

It’s your birthday today, baby. 

I’m sorry I’m not with you.

Life is exhausting without you.

But I’m here to see you now.

It’s a shame that you couldn’t come and lead the way.

But it doesn’t matter, I’m used to it.

Sincerely,

Sehun,

The forever idiot that left you, disappointed you, hurt you, and still loves you.